By kirisox
Date 11.02.03 14:10 UTC
EMPLOYER/EMPLOYEE LINGO
1. "COMPETITIVE SALARY" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
2. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM" - We have no time to train you.
3. "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED" - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
4. "DUTIES WILL VARY" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
5. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
6. "I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANISATION" - I've used Microsoft Office.
7. "I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK" - I blame others for my mistakes.
8. "I AM ADAPTABLE" - I've changed jobs a lot.
9. "I AM ON THE GO" - I'm never at my desk.
10. "I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED" - The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.