
Further to my last post Rugby's specialist confirmed his biopsy showed Primary Lymphangiectasia, and did his best to convince me I hadn't caused it, I couldn't have prevented it, and due to the severity earlier intervention probably wouldn't have helped.
However, I also spoke to Rugby's vet last night, the consequences of which only hit me at 3am this morning! We were discussing his case and saying how strange it was he seemed to perk up after being on a drip. This was simply put down to him feeling better having been rehydrated. But there was one particular day where I was really confident he was getting better. As it turns out he'd also had a mild steriod injection whilst on his drip. So I'm now wondering................................................................
1 WHY DID THE VET NOT SEE THE CONNECTION AND CONTINUE TREATMENT
2 WHY DID I NOT ASK SPECIFICALLY WHAT HED BEEN GIVEN AND DEMAND THE CONTINUATION OF TREATMENT
Could it really have been so simple? Could I have actually been getting up this morning to to see Rugby's happy face, instead of crying at a PC breaking my heart over what could've been, feeling responsible for the suffering my beautiful brave boy went through, and missing him more and more every day? Did I really spend £6000 on unneccesary treatment?
Hindsights a wonderful thing, and beating myself up is not going to bring Rugby back, but I don't think I can cope with the knowledge it could've been so different. I don't really know what I expect you to say - I guess I just needed to get it out!
I did also want to tell you I am now the proud Mum of a 4 month Leo boy called Fozzie Bear, he's an absolute sweetheart (doesn't have the devil in him like Rugby did!), and I can honestly say he's the only thing that kept me going over Christmas.
Thanks to all for their support, much appreciated.
x