WARNING - long rant, I need to vent!!
My 2 boys are 9 & 10 yrs old, up until anout 4 weeks ago they were never allowed out of the garden to play (I'm a meanie!!). We live in a cul-de-sac of 35 houses with a grassy area at the bottom of the road, perfect for the kids to play on.
I have recently relented and let my boys out to play,they are only allowed to play at he bottom of our road, they take thier bikes to the bottom of the road and have made friends with a few other children that play down there. In the past week they have been complaining about a younger boy (6yrs old 'ish') that is repeadedly swearing at them, throwing things at them and kicking them & thier bikes. The first few times this happed my boys knocked on his parents door & told the mother.
It's been getting worse to the point it's constant so I have told my boys to ignore him and move away from him. A few days ago the boy was getting no rise from my boys so he ran to his mum with a made up story about my 2 picking on him, she came out, shouted at my youngest and the first I knew about it was him coming home in tears. I never confonted the woman over this, as much as I believe my boys, I have no proof that thier version of events is the true version.

Today the boy was up to his usual trick, my boys got fed up so came up to play with thier friends on my drive way, I went out to investigate the commotion outside to find this little boy swearing at mine, also some little girls re-laying the message that my boys 'better watch out' because another boy was threatening to beat them up. GRRRRRR (the little girls are freinds with my boys, they were just trying to warn my 2).

I shouted at this boy, who just ran off back down the road.

A little while later I took Buster out, (our walk takes us through the green at the bottom, so I have witnesed this little boy being a pain in the neck several times), my boys were playing at the bottom of the road, sure enough the other little boy was there swearing and chucking things at my boys & thier friends, as soon as he saw me he ran out of sight. I hung around in ear shot of the kids but just out of sight and heard the little oby swearing I walked in to view and he caught sight of me just as he was kicking one of my boys, I shouted "yes, I can see you". He then runs over to his house and tells his mum my boys were picking on him and calling him names!!!!!
The woman came out & started shouting at my boys, I'm afraid my fuse blew and I shouted at her.
I told her what had been going on, she said that her son has learning difficuties and if he hits my boys it's because they've been calling him names, I insisted it's her boy instigating it all, she denied it. I said if her son has learning difficuties to the extent he can't get along with other people, perhaps he shouldn't be outside without supervision, (that didn't go down too well). She said it wouldn't be fair to keep her boy in, it would be best for mine to go away from him, I agreed with her & said that's what they've been told to do, but he will follow them around, I also said the green is a communal area and my boys have as much right to be there as anybody else, she said the same about her boy. People started popping out of thier doors to have a nose, and she jsut grabber her boy & went back inside.

I called over to a few of the women who had gathered to look and it appears that some of them have been having the same problem with the boy harrasing thier kids, one woman even had a metal bar she had confiscated of this boy earlier today.

I'm so frustrated, if I had complaints that my boys were harassing anybody else thier feet wouldn't touch the floor. My boys get on with all the other kids of varying ages it's just this 1 little boy and the friend he had with him today.

My boys have been really enjoying thier new-found freedom (even though they have to report back to me every 30 mins or else they get grounded!!), I don't want to make them stay away from the bottom of the road (the little boy lives next to the grassy area) as this is the only place they can safely play on thier bikes.
I think it's going to have to be a case of me going out with them so I can supervise - they wont mind that atall but it will cut thier play time down as I wont be standing out in the cold all day to be referee :(

Oh, one last thing.. a few times I have withnessed the boy swearing at mine, but I've had Buster with me and I didn't want to say anyhing because I didn't want Buster associating any strangers with conflict (as he's a guarding breed). Today he was with my while me & the mother were shouting at each other, I totally forgot I had Buster there untill I went to move - he had laid down calmly on the floor waiting for me :)
If you've read this far - I'm amazed you got through my essay of drivvle!!!! :)

Don't have kids but can imagine how frustrating and annoying it must be for ou and your boys.

I have a very dear friend who would have reacted just like you at first not taking sides until she saw exacty what was going on Once you know that your boys have told the truth it's really annoying that the mother won't believe you.

As to her son having learning difficulties surely in that case he should be more supervised for his own safety.

Sadly sometimes mothers won't or can't believe what their kids can be like.  I had 2 close friends who had kids one day their 2 youngest boys were playng together along with Friend A's son's pal Friend B's son came in and sat down very quietly she knew something was up so made excuses and left.

On the way home she asked why he had come in and was told the other 2 had been calling him names.Friend B told me about it but sadly I knew there was no point in me mentioning it to Friend A as she wouldn't have believed it or tackled her son. I soon after stopped baby sitting for Friend A as I felt her son knew he could do as he liked. She came in after I'd been looking after him and he told her I'd given hm a row.Her answer "Oh was Anne mean to you!!!"

Friend B's boys I looked after a lot took them places and they were always fine. If they had complained to Mum they would have got it from her for needing me to tell them off.

Not much help to you but I know exactly here you are coming from!!

Motherhood is never easy, especially when the other mother can see no wrong in her little angel ;-)

Unfortunately it seems to ba a sign of the times. A lot of children nowadays are dragged up, not brought up. They have no respect for anyone, but it is usually because they don't see it at home :-( Mine have always had to say please and thank you, and they are not allowed to back chat me, even though my son is now 30 ;-)

It sounds like you are doing a good job with your boys. Now that they have met and made new friends could they not all spend a bit more time up your end of the street away from this little, erm, darling :-)

Oh the joys of motherhood:) I'm so glad my are grown and fledged, no in fact come to think of it I preferred them from 18 months downwards, still under my serious control and not moving too far from where I last put them.!

I reckon they're more trouble when they get older and should be cryogenically frozen at 18 months and then thawed out at around 25years.

My 19 +1/2 son has just been stopped for speeding on his motorbike 130mph!!!! Mother will kill him before the road does at this rate!!!

21+1/2 son has got constant money problems (he spends more than he earns) and this has had an effect on my bank balance, but no more the Royal Bank of Parents is now closed for business.

23+1/2 daughter (and her OH) just want a baby!! Fools I say, don't do it!!!!

> she said that her son has learning difficuties and if he hits my boys it's because they've been calling him names,

My eldest daughter has learning difficulties along with lots of other problems, (emotional, behavioural and social to list a few) I would never allow this to be an excuse for her behaviour, yes the difficulties she has can make her violent and say things that she doesn't mean but I would never allow this to be deemed as ok because she has issues, their is some responsibility here, if I wasn't confident that she couldn't play out without causing a ruckus I would supervisor her for her safety and others. That boy may well pick on another child ( be it in a few years time) and get seriously hurt or he might seriously hurt someone. Why parents can't be responsible is beyond me and this is meant to be our future!

Mastifflover, I really feel for you being the mother of two (now grown up) little boys!!!  It is so, so hard to let them get out there and get on with life.  Life is unfair, there will always be people like that little bully boy down the road in their lives.  Part of growing up is learning to handle the situations that life throws at them and my advice to you, for what it is worth, is to just leave them to get on with it.  They have to learn life's hard lessons and how to cope with them. Try not to involve yourself with the little lad's mother again, she obviously will make excuses for his behaviour whatever he does so you'll get nowhere with her.  The 'green' is as much your son's to play on as it is anyone else's so let them play there if they want to and if you possibly can, don't supervise them playing.  :)  :)  Your little lads have each other for company and moral support and they are obviously well brought up and know that the swearing is wrong and the bad behaviour is wrong.........all credit to you.  I think that you may find that they will all get along with each other before long as children do (when the Mums are often at loggerheads) or they will just avoid each other totally.  They will sort it out, I am sure!  :)  :)  

Thank you everybody for the support :)

This has all been wizzing around in my head as I don't want to get into feuding with the other mother as I'm sure we will never see eye to eye on this :( 

I do understand that children (and adults) with learning difficlties/behavioral problems can be prone to behaviour that is not normally accepted as socialble and obviously this does need understanding from others, but I'm sure this is just an escuse for this boy. I'm not desputing his mothers claims that he has problems, but this little boy seems to know not to do this sort of behaviour when he thinks adults are watching, although I have no personal experience of behaviural problems, this says to me that he knows what he is doing is wrong and more importantly he can control his behaviour when he needs to.

This little boy mostly seems to always be playing by himself, I'm sure a lot of his behaviour is like a puppy biting your feet - he's doing it for attention.
When this all started my boys would tell his mum, I was worried they would be seen as pestering her so I told them to just completey ignore him and he'll get bored of it, but so far this hasn't worked :(

The woman said that if her son was being naughty she has allready told my boys to just knock on her door, so this is what will happen from now on - every time the boy swears, hits or threatens, my boys will be telling her about it, I'm sure she will become fed up of the constant interuptions and realise she has to do something.

>Your little lads have each other for company and moral support

Yes they do :) They aren't intimidated by this, they are just really annoyed that they can't play outside without all this nastyness. They are very sociable & friendly, they made friends with all the other boys & girls the first day they were allowed out so they have lots of support as well as each other. The only thing I am a bit worried about is that some of the other children will defend thierself against this little boy (he punched a little girl in the face today so she kicked him), I don't want my 2 associated with any violence, even self defence. They know that they should never hit back, but if other kids are doing it they could be accused just because they are there :(

Oh dear, I'd much prefer it if I could keep them shut up in the house untill they leave home!!!

Aw......you are a lovely Mum!!  Sorry to have to tell you this, but this is only the start!!  :)  The minute they are allowed out of the drive, the worries start!  In 10 years time, you will be lying awake at night waiting for the sound of their cars pulling into the drive!  It is a nightmare being a Mum!!  :) :) 

>The woman said that if her son was being naughty she has allready told my boys to just knock on her door, so >this is what will happen from now on - every time the boy swears, hits or threatens, my boys will be telling her >about it, I'm sure she will become fed up of the constant interuptions and realise she has to do something.

Sounds like a plan ;)

Know how you feel, it's so stressful when children are fighting and all it takes is one or two to cause trouble :(

Sorry to say but in our street that boy is the 'normal' one :(    they all seem to be like this :(   several have moved away now but there are 2 left.  Son can't play with them, they call for him and within seconds of going out he's back in :(  they also think it's funny to knock on the OAP's doors and run away :(   The ones who moved away used to throw things at the windows on a nightly basis :(

Son prefers his own company now if he isn't at Scouts (he's just moved up :) ) or orchestra/ swimming/ snorkeling/ kyak-ing.

Interestingly the 2 children who are so horrid don't get to go to any of these things, in fact all they seem to do is hang around aimlessly saying how bored they are ;) 

I'm not making excuses for that little boy at all: but some children really do have the most terrible difficulty making friends and learning problems always seem to make this much harder for them.  He may lack social skills and perhaps his mother isn't the best person to help him.  From time to time, when you are at your least stressed and your boys at their most confident could they play a bit closer to your house and invite this lad to join them?  Tricky though it might be it could help.  This kid obviously struggles with his behaviour but if he felt it was ok to play with your two, under your watchful eye, he might just calm down a little.  He obviously wants to join in with them but doesn't know how to behave, in his head the next best thing to playing with them is to get them focussed on him so he isn't being ignored - he is trying in his own inept way to be part of what is going on.

I wouldn't for a second suggest that he is your responsibility, or your boys, but if they work on incuding him a bit it may just make life a bit more comfortable for them.  Of course it's so very easy to say all this when it's not my children being yelled at like yours - sorry.

Wasn't Buster a babe, perhaps that boy could just come for a walk with you and Buster whilst your two have a peaceful half hour without him!!

> I wouldn't for a second suggest that he is your responsibility, or your boys, but if they work on incuding him a bit it may just make life a bit more comfortable for them.  Of course it's so very easy to say all this when it's not my children being yelled at like yours - sorry.
>

I totally understand what you're saying.
My boys have let the lad join in with thier games several times. Up until last week they used to take thier ramp down to the grass and let all the kids (including this boy) take it in turns to jump the ramp on whatever they had (skooter/skateboard/bike), my boys would happily lend thier 'mode of transport' to anybody without and have even lent thier best bikes to this little boy so he could have a go when he didn't have his bike with him. The lad would take his turn and then line himself up to ride into whoever was having the next go :(  My boys came home to tell me about it so I told them to ignore him, which they did. The lad then started to kick the ramp out of the way as children were about to go over it, the mother must have saw him and came out to take him back inside. I've not let them take thier ramp out again, that way it can't cause any trouble, much to the disapointment of all the other children (including some teenagers that managed to play with the younger ones very nicely :) ).

It is sad, I do feel sorry for this little boy, his mother should be guiding his social interactions not shoving him out the door and relying on other children to tell her when things aren't working out :( I don't think I could persuade my boys to try include him anymore and I don't feel right forcing them to play with him.  But, then again, if I were to just go and watch my 2 playing, the lad may try to join in without the bad behaviour and they may be able to see a differnt side of him?  that's got to be worth a try :)

> Wasn't Buster a babe,

He's giving me so many reasons to be proud of him lately :) Most of the kids that play in our street know Buster by name, even though they don't know me! We are normally greeted by a croud of kids running at us, yelling 'Buster's coming, hello Buster' and they all stroke him :)
This is probably why he's so great around screaming/running/playing kids - plenty of practice!

Just a thought, there is a family in my town that I will call the 'bells'
My son had MAJOR problems with him in infants, and he was the big bully.
When I mentioned the 'Bells' alot of other kids knew about them.
Then when I spoke to my dad it turns out he had had problems with them.
Today I heard about a 80 + yo that had heard the mother at the time 60 years ago having to go into the school because her kids were causing trouble!!!
The saying around here is - there is a bell in every year.
Is it nature or nuture???
on of The 'bells'  is now 13 is in a special needs school after being expelled from seconday school within 2 weeks!!! He is with a friend of mines kid that is severally Autistic.
(and I remeber looking at the list of whos form my son was in and breathing a huge sigh of relief not seeing 'bells' name there, and remeber alot of other parents do the same, oh and also the intake of breath when they realised he was!!!!!)
So is It nature or nuture.
For the past 60 years that I know of the 'Bells' have bullied their class mates, and been little *insert word of your choice*
This is in no way saying special needs kids are bullies or defending them. I have a son that is on an IEP at school. But just that, sometimes, if they are  problem are the classed as special needs, instead of parenting????
As I am sure the 'bells' are all the same and 60 years of people produced, all bullies, I am sure it is nurture not nature!!!!
Hope that makes sense.
Lea :)

>I do understand that children (and adults) with learning difficlties/behavioral problems can be prone to behaviour that is not normally accepted as socialble and obviously this does need understanding from others, but I'm sure this is just an escuse for this boy.

Nowadays it's hard to believe the "he has learning difficulties" line.It seems to be becoming a very common excuse for parents with bratty, uncontrollable kids.And nearly all of them have "ADD".
I'm sure only a small proportion actually have a medically diagnosed problem,it just really annoys me when parents slap a medical condition on their kids as an excuse for their behaviour,as if it gives them the right to act however unruly as they so choose!
Mastifflover there is usually a troublemaker in every street/suburb,your kids will hopefully learn how to deal with him.

> Nowadays it's hard to believe the "he has learning difficulties" line.It seems to be becoming a very common excuse for parents with bratty, uncontrollable kids.And nearly all of them have "ADD".

The sad thing is it is becoming very common and it is not just a small proportion that have actually been medically diagnosed .The other problem is that it is not accepted that these children do have problems by people like yourself ( not a dig just showing how people do not understand )My son has Dyspraxia which is on the Autistic spectrum and it is called the Hidden Handicap as the children look normal but they have a different outlook on life. Therefor people just assume that "these children" are just naughty, uncontrolable,bullies, ADD can also be associated with dyspraxia so is sort of classed under the same heading ie Hidden Handicap.

I was once told by a specialist that if my son had been Downs syndrome it would have made things easier for both my son and myself as people would have been able to see he had a problem. I found that alarming as how would my son cope with life as he has some socialising problems , thankfully not the bullying but does not like change or finds it hard to be a team player and he does  not like going to parties, social events etc.He also used to try and go one better than his mates when it came to being popular ie he has now become the class joker as in he will make funny noises or make a outrageous comment just to get a laugh therefor he used to be called disruptive and cheeky.

As the mother has told the children to tell her when her son has been acting up I suspect that this child has got issues and unless someone tells her she will not be able to tell her son that he is doing wrong as when she is there he does not act this way . He is not being bad or a bully ,probably just has problems making friends and this is how he thinks he can make ones. Sounds daft but there you are.

Perhaps the mother of the child should be aproached and you could talk to her about these issues as it can be hard brining up a child with problems like this. She is maybe trying to let her child be as normal a wee boy as she can by letting him try and interact with other children ,she cant just keep him indoors because he has a problem.

Perhaps I am wrong and this boy is just a bully but please try not to brand him untill you really find out if he has got learning problems.

>Perhaps I am wrong and this boy is just a bully but please try not to brand him untill you really find out if he has got learning problems.

If you read back through my posts, you will find I haven't branded him as anything.

>As the mother has told the children to tell her when her son has been acting up I suspect that this child has got issues and unless someone tells her she will not be able to tell her son that he is doing wrong as when she is there he does not act this way

See, if my son was 6 years old with learning difficulties that caused him to punch, kick, swear and throw stones at other children (when adults weren't watching), i would not let him outside without some sort of supervision. This boy is free to run up the road, to swear at my boys on my drive way, this is 15 ft from a very busy road (the main road into town). The way I see it, this mother is not putting her childs safety first. Weather this boy has problems or not really shouldn't make a difference, his mother should be giving him the relevent parenting.

This mother should not be leaving the parenting to other children - children need to be raised by adults, not the other kids in the street, weather this boy has problems or not is really not the issue here, it's lack of parenting skills.

>she cant just keep him indoors because he has a problem.

My boys don't have problems but they were kept inside untill they were 9 & 10 years old - at a stage where I can trust that they will do thier best to interact with others in a reasonable manner and have enough common sense to be carefull with the traffic (some people drive down our road like loonies, this boy's dad being a major culprit). I do not expect any body else to come to me if my children are being naughty as I make sure they get checked on by ME anyway. It's my job to ensure my children behave, I do not expect other children to do that for me.

It does actaully make me very mad, I put a lot of effort as a parent and try to give as much understanding as possible to other children (probably to a fault). I will too often take the side of the other child insisting that if my boys were more polite/sharing/understanding/patient then there would be no issue, but this situation is not on. They have tried to include him without sucess, now they try to avoid him, he'll follow them being nasty. His mother knows this, she has been told enough times - why does she aske to be told if she does nothing about it?
It's flipping anoying the amount of people that expect society to do thier parenting jobs for them, parenthood is only tough when you really work at it, shoving your kids out the door and saying 'you should have told me' to escuse your lack of effort really gets my back up. This woman should get off her backside and take responsibility for her child, weather he has problems or not.
Grrrr, when my boys were that small, if they weren't playing with me in our garden I was reading/drawing/playing games with them inside, I can't imagine then having learning difficultiea and me turning them loose in the street.
Maybe woman like this mother also need to have some understaning for those parents amoung us that work hard at ensuring we look after our children ourselfs - not expect people in the street to do it.

Dyspraxia is more to do with attention span, coordination, writing etc.  Both my brothers were diagnosed with it late in life, and thankfully it is going away bit by bit.  The eldest at 22 has recently been able to catch a ball with one hand, hand eye coordination (or lack of) is a classic sign of dyspraxia.  I do honestly believe that many parents and local authorities overdiagnose ADHD and behavioural problems, instead of the instilling the vital parenting and boundary-making in the first 3 years of a childs life.  The fact that this child is allowed out to be other people's problem is underlining the fact that he does not appear to have any boundaries.  If he gets away with that behaviour outside, it is easy to assume he gets away with it in the home.

Apologies, I have no kids, only the experience of two younger brothers.  I'm at the "research" stage at the moment (as I would with a puppy) so your collective wisdom is important to me :-) 

I have no children but personally I don't think a 6 year old should be out without supervision whether or not they have learning difficulties. Unfortunately some parents aren't prepared to do this as it is easier for them to just let the child out and blow the consequences. We have parents in our road that take turns to supervise the younger children. Whereas we have one family whose child is allowed to go anywhere and I saw him at 5 years old cycling down into the village on his own which meant that he had to go onto an A road. I complained about him once as I was backing out and he and his cousin ran up to the back of my car and banged on the back window at the dogs. I could easily have knocked them down. The parents said they were grateful as they wouldn't know if they weren't told. I felt like saying then get off your a**e and watch them. Just can't believe it can you!

My parents would read, write, play and sing songs with us all through childhood.  When my brothers were having problems in school with their reading and writing mum set up "Teddy School" where we had to teach our teddies to write.  I see so many kids out in the street at such young ages when they should be tucked up in bed reading a story to their parents.  It's pitch black outside at tea-time and I see kids whizzing down the street on their bikes, on the road, no lights, no helmets, no supervision.  I'm afraid it's a sign of the times.  My kids will think I am an ogre in comparison (when I have them).

I hope I haven't come across as being totally ingnorant to problems that some children (and adults) have.
My mother is  a support worker for adults trying to lead independent lives but have various mental/emotional/developmental problems and my sister is a carer that works in a home with adults with all different sorts of problems from people that are paralyzed and unable to say more than a couple of words, to people that are physically fine but have mental problems (ranging from Autism to people with the mental age of toddlers).
I have been humbled by visiting the home my sister workes at (and felt hounered to be met by a big drooly kiss & cuddle from a lady prone to swearing and punching on greeting new people), and through my sister have learnt about the frustration these type of problems can cause for those who look after these people as well as for the individuals thierselfs.
My sister hit the roof when I told her about this little boy, not because of his behaviour, because she is disgusted that he doesn't appear to be recieving the care he needs. But I am very doubtfull that the boy does have any problems other than his mother and subsequent lack of guidence.

I've been looking on-line at how to cope with children with difficuties and all of the advice I've found is about learning about triggers for your childs outbursts, giving them alternate outlets and guiding thier desicions. I didn't find anything that sugested to let them play outside alone and hope somebody else tells you when they are displaying the undesirable behaviour!

Granitecitygirl, your brothers progress is a real testement to your parents comitment :)
Don't research having children too much or you will be put off for life ;)

>When my brothers were having problems in school with their reading and writing mum set up "Teddy School" where we had to teach our teddies to write

That is a great idea :)

> My kids will think I am an ogre in comparison (when I have them).

Honestly they won't :)

My youngest (9yrs old) complained the other day that they had to come in "mum, it's not fair, the other kids are still outside", my eldest (10 yrs) said "that's because thier parents don't care what they get up too'!!!!!
This is not something I've said to my children, it's an opinion my 10 year old has come up with by himself, because I always take the time to explain WHY I want them in/wont let them out, WHY they are being sent to bed early, WHY they shouldn't hit eaach other if they are annoying each other etc...

Some other parents may well see me as an ogre, but my kids don't because they know I am just trying to keep them safe, teach them respect for others, teach them some morals etc... :)

> I have no children but personally I don't think a 6 year old should be out without supervision whether or not they have learning difficulties

Exactly!

> Don't research having children too much or you will be put off for life ;-)

Too true!!

If I'm brutally honest, whilst I love my children and my neices and nephews, I'm not very keen on any one elses's children.

In fact, spending time with other children, and dogs, always makes me very grateful for my own!!  Am I the only one?

>whilst I love my children and my neices and nephews, I'm not very keen on any one elses's children.

>In fact, spending time with other children, and dogs, always makes me very grateful for my own!!  Am I the only one?

I'm not keen on other peoples children either.I love my kids to bits obviously,but i just don't have the patience or affection for other peoples children.

> In fact, spending time with other children, and dogs, always makes me very grateful for my own!!  Am I the only one?

Ditto :-D  Other folks dogs, no probs but other folks kids, erm Nah :-p  Only like mine, only ever have :)

> In fact, spending time with other children, and dogs, always makes me very grateful for my own!!  Am I the only one?

LOL, no you're no the only one!!!

My friend has 3 kids, a 15 year old boy, a 12 year old girl and a 4 year old girl. The older 2 kids are great, I've known the family for 9 years and have always liked the older 2 children, but the little girl - ARGHHH, she's so spoilt it drives me nuts. I feel so sorry for the older children as they have to do everything to please the little girl, so the little girl hasn't even started to learn about sharing or pateince, shes learning if she whines enough the whole world will stop for her!

My sisters dog is let get away with behaviour that I think is completely unaceptable and (from the outside, looking in) could easliy be rectified.

There is lack of manners and respect for adults from a lot of children, which means I rarely let my boys have friends over. Recently I have sent 1 boy home as he was jumping allover my sofa & chucking things around the livingroom, I told him we don't allow that here and he had to stop or go home, a few minutes later he started agian! I was brought up to have respset for adults and wouldn't dream of doing anything to annoy a friends parent, I was always on my best behaviour at other peoples homes -it's so rare to see now :(
My boys are far from perfect and are quite capeable of driving me insane, but thankfully they have learnt to behave fantasticaly around other people's homes and to respect thier elders! They may give me grey hairs at home, but they make me proud when they're out :)

My friend came to visit last week as i have just moved home and my fella is working in Taiwan
she thought i would be lonely!
she is the same age as me 42 but has recently started another family..3 kids all under 5 and she brought them all to stay...
i could hardly hide my excitement when they went home after 2 days!
i am really glad that all mine are older  (the youngest being 14)
i wouldnt go through that again if i was paid!
i adore all my kids(4 of them) but have begged them to hold off making me a granny..
so far they are more interested in money except my 18 year old daughter who moved in with her fella
and gained a 4 year old stepson
he is an exception though as he is so well behaved....
give me dogs any day!

> Dyspraxia is more to do with attention span, coordination, writing etc.can have  Both my brothers were diagnosed with it late in life, and thankfully it is going away bit by bit.

Dyspraxic children are often easily lead there for leading to behavior problems and tend to be slow at maturing. It never goes away but people who have it as they get older learn to cope with it as they mature by learning how to keep themselves organised. Their coordination will get better with exercises that help improve hand eye coordination and all dyspraxic peoples " symptoms " vary and they can have underlying problems such as ADAH . Dyspraxia is also not easy to diagnose untill children are about 8 yrs old up untill then they are called disruptive and trouble makers. So  good parenting for the first 3 years of a childs life can go great as it was with my son but then with the added preasure of school and learning, trying to make friends etc can have quite an affect on their behavior ,self esteme . As for over diagnoses , this can take a long time  ( it took the school about 3/4 years to finaly accept that my son had difficulties )  but I persisted and did not give up as I knew there was something wrong  and with the  help of teachers I eventualy got some help for him but not as much as he needed .So IMO the authorities would rather say there was not a problem rather than diagnose one as that would mean they would have to employ special needs helpers for the child.

Meantime I blamed myself and thought that I was being a bad parent and became very depressed myself I did not know where to turn and felt that I was constantly making excuses for my son and his behavior ( he was not a bully but very distant and could not follow instructions easily ) My son is now 16 an I still have to get him up and have to remind him all the time to brush his teeth , hurry up or you will be late ( he has no concept of time at all ) With the added preasures of exams and going through puberty etc
He at times can get very frustrated  and withdrawn and on top of that he has just been diagnosed as having Glandular fever which has made him very tired and was ,as a result " bunking off school "

The mother of this child does although seem to although not be listening to what you are trying to tell her about her child and that is why I suggested you go and have a word with her and she may let you know exactly what the extent of his problems are perhaps she needs help.
I know it is frustrating that this child is being a bit of a bully but my younger son had a problem with a boy in his class who hit and pushed him as he was wanting him to be his friend . The boy has problems and was shunned by his peers  and this was how he thought he could make others be his friend ,untill the school had a word with his mum and he has now learned how to interact a bit better with his class mates. 

The post from dogsababe was a good suggestion and I understand that being shouted at by his mother would have made you mad. I would have been the  same before I learned about behavioral problems due to the problems I have gone through with my son. If It does not work out fair enough, at least you have made the effort.