Not sure if I am right to feel as pissed off as I do with my neighbour or if I am just being silly.
I have always thought them quite a nice couple. The hubby has done a few little jobs for me for which I paid what he asked, usually just materiels and a bit on top. A couple of things like retrieving my washing machine waste pipe that had fell out (5 min job) he wouldn't take anything for.  He hasn't done a great deal just made and fixed me on two gates (he is a carpenter and I paid him)  and 4 other small 5 min jobs over the past 2 years
I have always chatted to wife and when she wanted a horse I took her to see my close friend of 20 something years B's place and spoke to B about letting her have her horse there. Its not a livery yard its B's private land so she wouldn't have got there without me and she got it for £10pw for stabling and grazing.
Then she often got me to do things and find things on my computer for her as she didn't have one. Then she got a laptop and didn't have a clue so I went round and set it up for her and then she would text and ask me to show her things once or twice a day at least for a couple of weeks. There has been other little things I have helped with as well.
She did buy me a packet of ciggies for finding somewhere for her horse to go and she did buy me a £2 doggy sign for my gate when I originally set up her laptop,

Then day before yesterday she saw we had a rabbit hutch for sale and she had just found a domesticated rabbit loose up the field and caught it. My daughter Charlotte had bought the hutch with money she had saved in April this year. It was a big 2 tier hutch very good quality it cost her £95, but it had only been used for 2 hours so we had decided to sell it for £50
She came and looked at it and offered £40 I said no £45 minimum and only because she was my neighbour.
She went off and then text me and said hubby said after all the jobs he has done for you on the cheap I should let them have it for £40.
I said I couldn't as it wasn't mine but Charlys money. She text back saying Ok nothing more.
She has now bought it after pricing them at the pet shops and seeing what a bargain this was for £45.
This afternoon I saw B and she said she felt a bit bad saying anything but we have been friends for 20 odd years but my neighbour had been moaning to her about my cheek of charging them £45 for this hutch after all the cheap jobs her hubby had done for me.
I was pissed off with her text to me and now I am really pissed off about her discussing it with B and I know she has had a good old moan to someone else in our road as well.
Its really getting to me. I don't want to fall out with her but I really feel I need to say something about it. Not sure if I am over reacting though and being silly as I had just assumed what I done for the neighbour and the cheap jobs neighbour hubby done for me was just being neighbourly and helpful, I didn't know I was going to stay in thier debt for anything. I had always paid what he asked.
They are quite well off and if they see something they can just go out and buy it, so this £5 is not a big deal really to them .
I definatly won't be asking him to do any more little things but I just can't get this out of my head. she is nice to my face and then slagging me off behind my back and if she will tell B she will tell anyone as she knows B and I are good friends.
Don't know if I am better off trying to forget it if I can and carrying on as normal with her or whether I should go round and have it out with her.
 

I don't think you're being silly at all, and personally, i'd go and say something to her, just to let her know that you won't stand for her tattling to people behind your back.

It sounds to me as if she resents her hubby doing odd pieces of work for you, even though you are paying a fair rate to him.

Personally I don't think you have anything to lose by speaking to her about it, I usually find that people who will whinge and moan aobut you behind your back aren't usually worth wasting too much friendship effort on. That's not to say you need to fall out with her, perhaps just point out that you feel hurt she couldn't / wouldn't discuss it with you, and also point out it was her decision to buy the bloomin' rabbit hutch from you, I doubt you had a gun to her head :-)

Hope that helps,

Claire

Bev, you can do without a 'friend' like her!  I have found to my cost that life is full of 'users' and hurtful as it is at the time, you can do without it!  I don't think that you were being unreasonable at all by asking her to pay for the hutch especially as it was your daughter's, anyone with any principles would have given as much as asked or even a pound or two more to a child as it was such a bargain.  Don't fret any more over her, I am sure that the people who she is tittle-tattling to know what she is like!  Don't involve yourself in it all and let her get on with it!  There!!..............I am now as mad as **** for you!!!  :)

This is the problem and why when it comes to friends I just give them things, you just can't sell things to friends it does cause resentment, it shouldn't but it does. I'm pretty sure that she has been sat at home going over all the things she has done, although not forgetting what you have, people generally only really remember what they have.

In hindsight you should have told her it was already sold, quite rightly after buying it for £95 and it still being brand new almost, you want a good proportion for it. For anyone else in circumstances like this the other option is to say well I paid £95 for it, it has been used only twice, what would you offer for it? Generally people don't want to take advantage of their friends and she may well have offered £50-60 and been happy as she suggested it, doing it the other way around and telling her how much you want from her, for some reason it causes offence.

Well, you need to fix this, your not at fault, but she most probably thinks you had a cheek to charge her being friends and all,  it's a no win situation, you'll both stew and fall out, your already going that way now.

I'm generally not one for backing down, but personally you look as though you need them, I'm sure you can do without them, but they seem quite handy for doing odd jobs for you, I have my hubby and brothers for that :-D but we all need people, it's good to have neighbours as friends, you never know what emergency may happen., you've lived happily over the years with this couple. See how you feel, but I think the only way you can repair this is to pander to her needs, I would go out and buy a cheap bunch of supermarket flowers, knock on her door and explain that you are sorry she is upset about the charge for the cage, but it was your daughters and she wanted to re-coup her money, explain that if it was yours you would have happily given it to her.

Life is too short to fall out with good neighbours, pride is a terrible thing and Bev, you did nothing wrong, it is just that some people take offence, if you want her or rather them in your life unfortuantely you will have to be the bigger person and break the mood, little seeds of resentment grow really big, really fast, so act quickly.

You can leave it if you want or if you are too proud, but I know I would try to repair things.

(((Big hug)))

You are not being silly at all. Friends do not talk behind each others backs in that way IMO. If she had a problem she should have discussed it with you straight. And TBH I would be tempted to discuss it with her straight - just because of the way Chinese Whispers work. And the thinking and thinking about it can make things seem 10 times worse - sometimes you will just feel better if you say what you feel. :-)

Sounds like your neighbour is just a spoiled brat. 

I would have a word with her when her husband isn't there so they both can't gang up on you.  If she wanted a cheap hutch she should have bought a cheap hutch on that computer you set up for her.  She didn't have to buy it if she wasn't happy with the price, is she stupid or something?  Has she even asked around to see if the rabbit belongs to someones child or is she in the habit of ripping kids off!!

Hope you get it sorted, it must be awful having to deal with such small minded people

Oops, just realised my post sounds a little agressive. I did mean speak to her in a nice way, maybe ask if she wants a refund as you've heard she wasn't happy with the price.

Mel

I think what many are missing is that it really isn't about money at all funnily enough.

The fact that it is £95 to buy new isn't even in the mind of the neighbours.

The hutch is being sold for £50 (that is to anyone, a complete stranger to buy )

The neighbour would like it, so tells her husband and as they are friends and neighbours they expect to get it for less than a complete stranger as they are friends.

The neighbour calls and offers £40 not due to money, but due to they think they should be treated differently friends get priveledges others don't.

When Bev then says she won't let it go for less tha £45 in their minds she is saying that they're only worth £5 to her, which then upsets them and gets them to think about all they have done for her.

It is very silly it is the difference of £5 but to the neighbours that is saying that is all they are worth compared to a stranger.

It really isn't about money at all, just how they think she now values their friendship. Human beings are very complicated creatures and unfortunately it is very easy to upset the delicate ego's and feelings of worth.

Bev is thinking of her £95 spent and what a great deal they got ,as do the rest of us, they are only thinking they got £5 off.

Isn't life complicated.

I hate doing business with friends and family.

I had a bathroom fitted by a friends husband, it is his business. I insisted on paying the going rate. he insisted on mates rates.  I did not want to take the food out his doggies mouths!!.  I have to say I got a quote for the pretty much the same from else where. It took for ever for him to do the job, he was fitting me in between other jobs. It took months for niggley things to be sorted. It caused an uncomfortable feeling between me and my friend and rows between them. Every time anything was said he threw in the mates rate line, even though I pointed out I did not ask for this and his rate was no different from the other  "non mates". In the end I got the guy who gave us the other quote to come  and sort out his mess.

When we had our kitchen fitted he offered to quote "mates rates" again. I said OK out of sense of duty to my friend, they need the business. Then I got the guy who sorted the bathroom to quote, he was so much cheaper so I went with him. Fantastic job no problems.
Business should be kept out of Friendship I have decided. The worst thing is my friend has asked me to write a letter of recommendation for her husband now.

Bevb I have sold two hutches same thing well under half the price I paid,They were snatched up and buyer very proud of their bargain. I have one left which I can't get rid off. I am going to put it on the
drive with a sign saying FOC.