Not logged inChampdogs Information Exchange
Forum Breeders Help Search Board Index Active Topics Login

Find your perfect puppy at Champdogs
The UK's leading pedigree dog breeder website for over 25 years

Topic Dog Boards / Behaviour / Giving up.....
- By MowglisMummy [gb] Date 14.09.08 21:43 UTC Edited 15.09.08 07:06 UTC
Posted about my beagle a few times now. I really cannot take any more and I think I am going to have to give him up. I have tried everything, including crate training which seemed to be going well. He has urinated on my bed one too many times. As I previously mentioned I have no doors on my flat and I have tried every stairgate out there nothing stops him getting over it. He loves to urinate on my bed and I have no idea why and its upsetting me so much I cant live with him anymore. I just dont understand why he does it.
- By dexter [gb] Date 14.09.08 21:52 UTC
No advice,  i am sure other folks with more experience will be along shortly.
Just to say i am sorry your feeling this bad and i know sometimes it can be really frustrating, i really hope things can be turned round and you will get through this difficult time with your Beagle.I have days thinking where i have felt like this especially in their younger years, they were a right handful.

Best wishes xx

- By mastifflover Date 14.09.08 22:07 UTC
He may pee on your bed out of habit or because he thinks that's where he should go because he can smell he's peed there before it may be a nervous thing - I really don't know why he pees on your bed but I do know he doen't do it to upset you.

Have you tried putting things on your bed so he can't get on there ie, loads of cardoard boxes?
- By Jeangenie [gb] Date 14.09.08 22:14 UTC
It's a security thing. He pees on your bed because it smells most strongly of you and he wants to associate his identity with yours. Your task is to discover why he feels insecure enough to do it, and rectify it.

In the meantime, shut your bedroom door. If you have no door (who the heck designed a living area with no doors?), crate train him.
- By theemx [gb] Date 15.09.08 02:54 UTC
Two baby gates - I cannot use a door on my kitchen doorway, because a certain small manic loopy dog eats his way through it if we exit via that door (no idea why he doesnt do it if we exit via the front door, but we cant always go out that way...)..

Problem solved by putting in two babygates, one above the other. Looks a bit like Alcatraz but if you can get away with wooden ones (we cant, he'd eat those too) it doesnt look so bad.

The peeing is anxiety related as JG says, remove the anxiety and it will stop.
- By theemx [gb] Date 15.09.08 03:46 UTC
Hiya,

Ok ive been and read all your posts now.

Please keep in mind, none of the following is intended as a dig at you or to be mean or anything else, but, you must be 100% honest about all this.

Firstly, all of his behaviour is normal puppy behaviour. How long have you actually tried to implement the advice you have been given on previous threads?

People have given you extremely good advice, about exercise, play, training - about why he is doing certain things and how to stop them.

Have you honestly put into practice certain techniques, such as - when he play bites at you, immediately removing yourself from his reach, without saying a word (certainly no conversation with him) for a few seconds - just long enough for him to go 'hey.. what?'.. NOT for loooooong boring minutes where he either tries harder or thinks up something else to do.

(the 'yelp' method is basically the same, as is the one where the dog is put into a few seconds time out - all three methods involve you instantly removing YOU as a source of entertainment for puppy fora few seconds so that he learns clearly and consistently that bite = end of fun.)

I worry that you are in constant conflict with this puppy, with a very negative attitude. Yes there is only so often you can say no, because it wears you down and you get miserable and cheesed off with it.
Thing is, so will he, because its not a clear message to him, its pointless meaningless negative nagging - it isnt achieving anything, and it never will because dogs need clear instruction as to what they SHOULD do... not vague 'no's' to things they shouldnt do - after all if they cant do 'this'... what should they be doing?. puppy doesnt know whats appropriate, hes a puppy!

If this is the case, and he is also as I suspect a little underconfident and anxious (and I believe you are pregnant also which is highly likely, in combination with him reaching his teenage stage, to be a key factor in this anxiety) then you have a bright, clever little dog who has no idea what he should be doing and is terribly confused and anxious and unsure.

Thats why hes peeing on your bed, thats why he is hiding under your desk.

He is chewing stuff and biting and generally running amok because you are not teaching him what he ought to do - you are concentrating on what he should NOT do and its simply a concept he will struggle to grasp.

Please do understand very clearly, he has and he never WILL have any concept AT ALL of right or wrong.

He can only understand 'rewarding' and 'not rewarding' - fun or not fun.

If you think about human behaviour, even us complex thinking people struggle actually VERY hard with right and wrong..we have got social and moral reasons that dictate what is right and what is wrong. What is it that stops us from doing what we should not do?

Mostly it is NOT fear of punishment, for a start. Most of us do NOT behave appropriately because we will be punished if we do not - except where the punishment will be pretty much instant.

Fear of bad consequences is a really really inefficient way of teaching anyone anything - if it worked we would have very few people in prison!

Most of us do not do 'bad' things because we understand that they hurt otherp eople - we dont go and mug old ladies or beat each other up primarily because we can think about another persons point of view, and understand that we would not like the same done to us (most of us that is). It isnt the fear of going to prison that stops us, its our empathy with other humans.

This is why otherwise law abiding people will commit 'victimless' crimes - why people smoke weed or shoplift from supermarkets or diddle the tax or ..... because the idea of being punished at some time in the future is ineffective and we can justify (again, some of us) that no one is being hurt.

So positive punishment doesnt work very well, even on human beings who understand what they are being punished for. What keeps the majority of us law abiding and honest is our empathic nature.

Dogs do not have this. They cannot put themselves in anothers position and see things from their point of view. Dogs act for themselves. So they just cannot understand that some funny human social rule should not be broken - such as stealing, or weeing on beds.

For the same  reason, a dog cannot intentionally annoy you - much though they may achieve that at times it is purely accidental (and our own faults for being so complex!).

My deerhound bitch has an abysmal recall in the garden/house - she will stand and stare at me when i ask her to come. It is very annoying.

She is doing it though, because she wants to see what is in it for her - why should she comply, how will it benefit her? She likes to weigh up her options, does she want to come to me and see if i have a treat, or is staying in the garden going to be more fun?

I could get mad but it would serve no purpose other than to ruin her trust in me. So she gets called in from teh garden once, and then i close the door and i go and do my own thing. I return shortly and ask her again. When she weighs up that her option are 'stay outside in the dark alone whilst the other dogs get sweeties' or 'come inside with everyone else and have sweeties', she rapidly makes the choice I want her to make.

It has nothing to do with right or wrong, and everything to do with rewarding or not rewarding.

If you can change the way you interpret your dogs behaviour, and see it for what it really is, a confused and anxious young dog, trying to suss out how the world works and find where the boundaries are, find what is rewarding and what is not... you may well sort him out.

You would need to also replace some of his exercise with training and games (clicker training, interactive dog toys, food supplied in kongs rather than in a bowl would be great starters, adding in tracking and learning to indicate items 'found' on a scent trail).

Using two baby gates to prevent access to the bedroom will prevent the weeing on teh bed.

THe clicker training will go a long way to making him more confident so he wont need to wee on the bed, and he will have more trust and confidence in you as well.

Whilst that is building up, any slips into behaviour you dont want, think 'dont confront, change the subject instead' - which is exactly what madam deerhound gets when she plays the 'id like to stand out here in the garden staring at you whilst you plead with me to come in'... i dont enter into the discussion. Options are come in, or stay out alone and cold and bored.

For behaviours that are dangerous, you can distract him away from them by going and picking up his lead so he thinks wahey walkies - you must then go outside with him on the lead and at least do a few sits and downs and up and down the street.

Distracting him like this will not be rewarding him for behaving badly IF you do it in a clever way. If you stand there whilst he is licking sharp knives in the dishwashera nd growling at you, going 'here nice doggy have this cheese' and do nothing else but that... then yes it would be. But ifyou distract him by going and getting the lead, giving him the recall command and then going and DOING something, he will learn that complying with your wishes IS rewarding.

Teaching him to allow you access to things he has is a different 'trick'... teach him by swapping. Start by swapping his boring stuff for your ACE stuff (think like 'give me that 1p, you can have this £100). Work yourway up in baby steps to the difficult stuff. Then practice it again with hidden treats (so moving away from bribes) and then again with treats in another room (so you no longer have to have the reward instantly available).

THis is all totally possible but it will require alot of work, mostly in being consistent and staying calm really.

Good luck!
- By lincolnimp [gb] Date 15.09.08 06:30 UTC
Have you been in touch with your puppy's breeder? Apart from giving you support - Beagles are highly intelligent but can be very stubborn and difficult to train - I'm sure that he or she would be desperately worried about this poor baby. Sadly, I agree that the best thing is perhaps to let him go back. With your own baby on the way you are going to have your hands full anyway, and perhaps taking on a puppy, especially if you are not a very experienced dog owner, was not, with hindsight, perhaps the most sensible thing to do.
- By tooolz Date 15.09.08 06:54 UTC
I agree with lincolnimp

I think the tme has come for you to rehome this dog. Many of his problems (as I see it ) are compounded by the fact you don't really like him anymore and with a baby on the way, it would seem a obvious answer.
The excellent advice from theemx involves lots of work and unpicking problems which would take time and dedication...... I fear that you are running out of both IMO.
- By Carrington Date 15.09.08 07:08 UTC
Did you even try Teri's  houseline suggestion?  Would that not stop him from entering the bedroom?

Your not on your own there are hundereds of people right now, with their hands in tight fists ringing a rescue and wanting rid of their pup because it does not do what they want it to. Raising and training a pup to fit in with human life take a good couple of years, it doesn't happen like that?  Some pups are easier to train and get it quicker, some don't, some pelople don't have the time or the inclination to try for weeks and months to overcome something.

The difference between you and I is I would be downright fed up with the pup but I wouldn't be thinking of getting rid, wouldn't even be in my mind, a pup is a baby and will grow up, it needs guidance, commands, training (reward based) truth is, many people can't be bothered to see things through.

You have a Beagle, in a flat (open plan at that) your pregnant too, your time and energy obviously is going to be eleswhere, you have a high energy, very intellegent breed, personally I feel this dog is in the wrong home, and you don't sound as though you have the patience to deal with the high quality of training this breed needs. IMO this is the wrong breed for your lifestyle.

I'm not going to mess around with anymore advice because I feel I know where this will end up, especially once the babe is born.

So, call the breeder or a beagle rescue and let this pup be homed quickly into a home and environment that can give him the time and energy he needs, he will come second to your imminant baby, and as he is still a babe himself he needs all that attention himself.

Sorry, if this is not what you want to hear or any of the other posters but it is my opinion and I'm putting the pup first above anyone elses feelings, and I feel he is in the wrong home.

Good luck!
- By Brainless [gb] Date 15.09.08 08:36 UTC
In Response to theemx

What a really great post :)
- By rachelsetters Date 15.09.08 08:57 UTC
Totally agree what a fantastic post!
- By STARRYEYES Date 15.09.08 09:16 UTC
You have a Beagle, in a flat (open plan at that) your pregnant too, your time and energy obviously is going to be eleswhere, you have a high energy, very intellegent breed, personally I feel this dog is in the wrong home, and you don't sound as though you have the patience to deal with the high quality of training this breed needs. IMO this is the wrong breed for your lifestyle.

I agree with Carrington ..
I looked after a beagle for a long weekend a few years ago ..having had dogs for 20 yrs I see myself as an experienced dog owner. I found it a very demanding breed in comparison to my own and was completely worn out and relieved when he went home. I went into the kitchen and found him running around my worktops with my beardies looking on  (shock) he broke my husband favorite chimnea , destroyed umpteen dog toys and chewed to bits a leather brace lead ,very quickly he upset all my cats and began bossing my girls about , when he stood if he didnt want to move there was no budging him!  all within minutes of his arrival , he was very friendly but full on 24/7 , definitely not a first time dog for a young family.
- By St.Domingo Date 15.09.08 09:28 UTC
I just wanted to say that having a baby is more work than you can imagine .  Some days you will struggle to even get dressed .
I can't imagine how you will juggle both baby and dog .
Only you can decide what to do , but i think that everyone on here would ask you to ring the breeder first if you decide to re-home .
Please let us know how you get on .
- By Teri Date 15.09.08 09:40 UTC
A great post from Em but TBH I'm with Carrington and toolz here - it sounds as though this breed is not the right one for you, certainly not in the immediate future.  It may be that with a new baby on the way that dog ownership of any kind should be put on the back burner for a few years.

You're clearly very stressed and not enjoying this puppy and he will be just as stressed and confused/frustrated as you.  If you got him from a reputable breeder they should be willing to take him back and find him a more experienced owner.  Please contact the breeder first rather than anyone else - the majority of us would be devastated to lose contact with a pup's whereabouts.

If you didn't source him through a reputable breeder then contact Beagle Rescue for advice.

Don't feel a failure or a bad owner - while we'd all much rather help folks keep their dogs and work through any issues they are having sometimes, through no particular fault on anyone's part, it's best to accept that things wont work out and put the dog's interests first.

best wishes, Teri :)
- By Rach85 [gb] Date 15.09.08 10:43 UTC
I didnt think I was getting anywhere with a friends puppy training it and yet over night it seems he has become suddenly obedient and his training seems to have kicked in nicely but it does take time and sometimes it seems you arent getting anywhere, but if youve taken fellow peoples advice on here you should be moving forward at least a little?
Its takes time hun, but if your pregnant time isnt on your side is it :(

I think if you truly cant cope or you dont like the pup due to your frame of mind (hormones can make things seem so much harder and even tiny things upsetting) then you need to have a serious think over whats best for you and your pup.
You need acontrolled dog who listens and will not interfer in personal space IE when holding baby etc these all need to be trained too and if your having problems now maybe give him to rescue while he is young and someone will snap him up quick,
Just for the record I would never say to rehome as a rule but as your pregnant and due soon it does change how I would normally go about things and you need to focus on you and your baby, is there any family or friends who can help train him when your not able too?
- By theemx [gb] Date 15.09.08 20:36 UTC
Thanks for compliments people! I didnt say it in my post but really if once you understand the level of input and total change of attitude required, you cannot do this.. then returning puppy to breeder or to suitable rescue is going to have to be done.

As everyone else has said, hes not going to grow out of it and things will just get worse when baby comes along if the work is not put in.

Given how hard it is to get dogs into rescue/find them new homes (and a lot of breed rescues require the dog to wait in yourh ome until a suitable home is found), I would start managing the problem with baby gates and house lines, and doing the clicker training and interactive games anyway.

If he finds a new home then this ground work will have been started and will help him in his new home. You might find it is easier than you think to do and not need to rehome him, but you cannot just leave things as they are whilst waiting for a new home for him.

Please do not offer him in the free ads or hand him over ot any old rescue, hes a hound and needs to finda  home who will understand his needs, or it could be a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire. We all appreciate that things have spiralled out of control and he is potentially more htan you can cope with... but you do STILL have a duty to do the very best for him.
- By malibu Date 15.09.08 20:40 UTC
Everyone has offered you great advice on to why he does this and also how to avoid or stop the behaviour.

I would just like to point out to you that you choose to have him, he just went along we it.  This dog is your responsibility and your responsibility to train to fit in with your life.  I have personally never given up on a dog in my life and never would no matter how bad they are.  It would just inspire me to train them more.  Would you give away your child because they aren't potty trained?
Sorry if it sounds harsh but thats the way I feel about people giving up.

Emma
- By Harley Date 15.09.08 22:05 UTC
Would you give away your child because they aren't potty trained?
Sorry if it sounds harsh but thats the way I feel about people giving up.


I personally think that if the relationship with your dog has reached a point where you really don't like it anymore then it is far kinder to give the dog up. Not everyone is cut out to be a dog owner and, in such circumstances, then the dog's best interest has to be considered.
- By Goldmali Date 15.09.08 22:14 UTC
  Would you give away your child because they aren't potty trained?
Sorry if it sounds harsh but thats the way I feel about people giving up.


Sometimes it's best for the DOG to give up and find it another home. It's not only a question of giving up or not, it's also a question of having the TIME to do the training etc, and with a baby on the way, that could be extremely difficult. In which case it would be fairer on the dog to admit that no, I can't cope, the dog would be better off elsewhere, than sticking to principles and trying to cope, with both dog and baby possibly losing out. (I remember how shellshocked I was after my first baby was born, especially as she had colic. There wasn't time for ANYTHING.)
- By dogs a babe Date 15.09.08 22:37 UTC Edited 15.09.08 22:43 UTC

> Posted about my beagle a few times now. I really cannot take any more and I think I am going to have to give him up. I have tried everything, including crate training which seemed to be going well. He has urinated on my bed one too many times. As I previously mentioned I have no doors on my flat and I have tried every stairgate out there nothing stops him getting over it. He loves to urinate on my bed and I have no idea why and its upsetting me so much I cant live with him anymore. I just dont understand why he does it.


What is this post about?  Have you made your decision already?  Are you asking for agreement that you are doing the right thing or for help on rehoming?

OR are you still looking for advice on how to tackle the problem?  It does seem as if you've received some great advice but perhaps haven't yet given much time to implementing it :) 

I'm probably not alone in feeling anxious for your dog but think that you need to be as objective as you can about the best outcome for him.  We had to give up a dog once at 3 years old - our circumstances were very different to yours - but I still think about him, and I still feel guilty.  As soon as we realised it was impossible for him to stay I contacted the breeder.  I know it was exactly the right thing to do, and the breeder agreed, although it was still the hardest decision I've yet had to make.  However, I can console myself that I made the right decision for the right reasons and that I gave him back to the only other person who loved him as much as we did.  She was best qualified to assess his needs and choose another home for him.  It was seven years ago this year and although I think of him less often than I did there is still not a month goes by that I don't wonder how he is - I felt a bit like I was giving up a child for adoption  (yes, I know he was only a dog!)

With the obvious disadvantages of your flat and with a baby on the way, if you feel you can't give your dog the home he needs then please contact your breeder first.  Obviously not all breeders will take their dogs back but at least you will know that you are making every effort to do the right thing.  If you don't get the result you hope for then come back here for more advice about what support you may expect from the breed club.  Even if people can't completely understand your reasons they'll do whatever they can to help the dog.

- By Crespin Date 16.09.08 02:00 UTC
I know it can be very very frustrating, to own a pup.  All of us here can, and depending on the breed, some of them are a little more frustrating to own sometimes than others. 

I am not sure about the reason for the post, are you wanting to rehome, or are you wanting to have the dog stop the bad behaviour?

there are days in every dog owners life where you go "Will this dog ever get it?" .  We know that peeing on the bed is wrong, but they dont.  Are you washing not only the bedsheets and such, but the matteress as well????  Like a really good strong cleaning, not just a bit of frebreeze and a towel.  It could be that since he has wee'd on the bed before, it still smells like it, and so he thinks thats where he is supposed to go.

A lot of people have given some really good advice.
- By malibu Date 16.09.08 14:16 UTC
Sometimes it's best for the DOG to give up and find it another home. It's not only a question of giving up or not, it's also a question of having the TIME to do the training etc, and with a baby on the way, that could be extremely difficult. In which case it would be fairer on the dog to admit that no, I can't cope, the dog would be better off elsewhere, than sticking to principles and trying to cope, with both dog and baby possibly losing out. (I remember how shellshocked I was after my first baby was born, especially as she had colic. There wasn't time for ANYTHING.)

I agree it maybe best for the dog but it really ticks me off when people get a dog/puppy and they havent even considered the time it will take before getting the dog in the first place.  If she was to give up on the dog in my opinion she should seriously do her homework next time or consider a different pet.

Emma
- By Goldmali Date 16.09.08 14:19 UTC
I agree it maybe best for the dog but it really ticks me off when people get a dog/puppy and they havent even considered the time it will take before getting the dog in the first place.  If she was to give up on the dog in my opinion she should seriously do her homework next time or consider a different pet.

True -but I dare say the breeder will have some blame here as well. Who sells a beagle to somebody living in a flat for a start? Chances are the OP has learnt a valuable -and not so nice - lesson.
- By malibu Date 16.09.08 14:24 UTC
Who sells a beagle to somebody living in a flat for a start?

I missed that bit on reading.  To have a beagle in a flat is madness even if it is a well behaved one.  But then again people can and do lie to breeders to get a dog.  There are a million sides to every story but the more I read and think the more I agree she has seriously picked the wrong breed.

Emma

Edited - To the OP, please use a breed rescue or go back to the breeder if you are getting rid.
- By newf3 [ch] Date 16.09.08 15:14 UTC
MowglisMummy.

I agree with most people here.
I think with a baby on the way you will not have the time needed to help your dog.
Please think about contacting the breeder / resuce to give them the chance of placing him into a new home.
They will have the time needed to re-train him where as you do not.
You really must think of the dogs best instreat here and not your own.
Maybe one day you will be able to have another dog but please make sure you have the time first.
- By k92303 Date 16.09.08 15:32 UTC
I think in the circs, however hard a re-home is for you it is probably the best option. There's no shame in saying you can't cope.

You can get help via your breed rescue or the breeder.

Good Luck with everything!
- By MowglisMummy [gb] Date 16.09.08 16:17 UTC
It was just a bad day I was having on my own as my husband was away. Havent had a bad day since. Im not giving up my dog I never would. I find some of the responses very rude and unneccesary. Thanks for all the constructive advice that some of you have given but I wont be posting on this forum any longer as I think that most of the responses are very rude and judgemental. I think its completely out of order to suggest that I am in capable of looking after a dog let a lone my new baby. A couple of posts on a forum is just a snippet into my life with my dog, I was just looking for support from people who had similar experiences and advice from people who are more experienced. I was in the process of buying my new house when we got Mowgli which we should have been in by now but was unexpectadly delayed. We move in 3 weeks so hopefully things will be easier by then. Thanks once again for the positive advice most of it has been useful and I have had some success with the aggressive behaviour for example and crate training is going well. Its a shame that some of you felt you had to be so rude as I found this forum a good source of info. If anyone is generally interested in how Im getting on with my training in the future dont hesitate to pm me and I will gladly reply. Thanks Sam

P.S thank you theemx for taking the time to write such a great post.
- By dexter [gb] Date 16.09.08 17:56 UTC
Wish you all the best

Hayley
- By AliceC Date 16.09.08 18:00 UTC
Hi Sam,

It's a shame you feel this way about the forum, I don't think people meant to come across as rude or judgemental, just think as everyone is very passionate about their dogs, emotions can sometimes run a little high :-)

Sounds like you don't have things easy with your house move etc so I hope things go smoothly with that...I hope you do stick around on here and let us know how you get on with Mowgli. It sounds like you are already getting some good results with some of his other problems and I wish you the best of luck with them, as you have said, you have had some really good advice (especially from theemx - her post was great!) so hopefully you will carry on posting and the experienced posters here will be able to assist you further....

Best of luck anyway!

P.S. My friend has a Beagle boy who is very unruly so you're not alone...but he has improved greatly and had a lot of similar problems by the sound of it. There's light at the end of the tunnel!
- By Teri Date 16.09.08 18:15 UTC
Sam, don't lose heart or lose touch :)  If some of the responses have not been pleasant for you then don't read them again either at all or untill such times as you're feeling a little brighter!

Things can easily get over heated on here and feelings hurt - sometimes we are too passionate about a specific subject and more often than not threads take a whole new topic entirely with little relevance to the original poster or query.

That you were just having a bad day is great (if you know what I mean ;) ) and hopefully you will be better able to handle the quirks and foibles tha having pups of any kind at any time cause ALL of us :)

Stick around kiddo or at least check back in now and again.  And don't feel you need to justify yourself to anyone - you asked for help, hopefully some of what you got was useful to you and there's plenty more where that came from as and when (or if) you want it :)

Good luck, Teri
- By theemx [gb] Date 17.09.08 04:56 UTC
Hey - thanks for reading it all!

I have been at my wits end with my dogs - I once lived in a pokey little bedsit with my first ever dog,in my first ever home.. alone!

Back then honestly, I thought it was the end of the world, that he'd have to go to rescue, that i couldnt cope with anything at all - looking back it was so easy to see where I was going wrong, and i am so fortunate that people gave me a little bit of their time and offered me insight into what was going on.

So then I had a dog wiht no recall, who could and would vanish for up to 8 hours at a time, a dog who would seemingly bark constantly if i went out.. then he became fear aggressive...

Now, well he doesnt like being left but he can be - as long as a horrid old lady doesnt rattle my letter box and shout at him through it whilst I was out (oh yes she did!... i moved!)..
He has a fantastic recall, like a collies (hes a staffie x).
And fear aggression - well no hes not the easiest of dogs but he is totally managable and I can and have introduced him to all manner of other dogs, including his least favourite kind (bigger males, entire males etc).. and even had those dogs to stay here sometimes for weeks at a time.

So I dont mind writing looooong rambly posts offering help and advice, it is the least I can do to repay the time and kindness of others.. not to mention the ever forgiving nature of Rocky, the dog I made all my mistakes on (he says 'snorefartstretchscratch').

Dont give up on this forum though - some people use their words unwisely, it is very easy to forget that, sat in the saftey and anonimity of our own living rooms and offices, hidden behind a computer screen, the people out there in 'internet land' as my bonkers mother puts it, ARE real and have real feelings and can be hurt just like ourselves.

THere is a wealth of information on here and other forums too, so don't let someone elses unkind words let that be wasted.
- By bagpipe [gb] Date 17.09.08 08:04 UTC
theemx wrote earlier: If you can change the way you interpret your dogs behaviour, and see it for what it really is, a confused and anxious young dog, trying to suss out how the world works and find where the boundaries are, find what is rewarding and what is not... you may well sort him out.

If you could buy a copy of Jean Donaldson's Culture Clash, this would help you greatly to understand and to implement what theemx means.  It is also a very encouraging book, a great read and well worth the money.

All the best :)
- By lunamoona [gb] Date 17.09.08 10:16 UTC
Hey Sam, don't give up on the forum just 'cos people are passionate in their reply's, It's because they care :)

It's true that a post is just a snippet from your life but it's all the information we have to go on.

I think most of us can relate to some of the problems you are having.  One of my cats took years (6 or 7) to house train and it really did seem like spite. Once a couple of weeks after moving house he jumped on my pillow about 2am whilst I was half asleep. Next thing I know he's peeing on my head!!! My hair was sodden, my pillow drenched, it all ran down my neck and under my p.j's so they were wet, some went down my ear.  It was also middle of winter and I had no heating so it instantly went ice cold. He has always had a tray available for overnight so he did have an alternative.  I can't tell you how much he hurt my feelings that night, took me weeks to get over it. 

I'm sure things will pick up once you move house, good luck
Mel
- By Dakkobear [gb] Date 17.09.08 12:35 UTC
Sorry Mel, but that did make me laugh! :-D :-D

Sam, most of us have despaired of a dog at sometime in our life, don't miss out on the great advice you can get on here and if someone's responses annoy you on a regular basis then just click the ignore button, its magic, I only wish I had one in real life :-D
- By lunamoona [gb] Date 17.09.08 13:05 UTC
can laugh about it now but at the time all I could imagine was having my hands around his furry little neck :)
- By Harley Date 17.09.08 16:42 UTC
Would you give away your child because they aren't potty trained?
Sorry if it sounds harsh but thats the way I feel about people giving up.

I personally think that if the relationship with your dog has reached a point where you really don't like it anymore then it is far kinder to give the dog up. Not everyone is cut out to be a dog owner and, in such circumstances, then the dog's best interest has to be considered.


I hope it wasn't my post that upset you :( I wasn't actually referring to you but replying to the person who put up the post about giving a child away - the word "your" was being used in a generic way and not aimed at you. I believe that sometimes, if the quality of life for any dog and it's owner, is not good then rehoming is something that has to be considered. If dog and owner are both miserable it is very hard for progress to be made and neither will flourish.
- By kleekailover [gb] Date 20.09.08 10:26 UTC
"One of my cats took years (6 or 7) to house train and it really did seem like spite. Once a couple of weeks after moving house he jumped on my pillow about 2am whilst I was half asleep. Next thing I know he's peeing on my head!!! My hair was sodden, my pillow drenched, it all ran down my neck and under my p.j's so they were wet, some went down my ear.  It was also middle of winter and I had no heating so it instantly went ice cold. He has always had a tray available for overnight so he did have an alternative.  I can't tell you how much he hurt my feelings that night, took me weeks to get over it."

sorry but this made me laugh so much! it just goes to show how different animals can be, i did not even have to show my cat the litter tray she just found it and only ever uses it or outside. my puppy however was a complete nightmare when it came to house training, it got to the point where i was too emmbaressed about the fact i could not get my puppy to go outside i would not even ask the trainner at puppy class :-(
he is now 11months and still (only rarely) has an accident in the house. it is very frustrating at times, i know that i shed a tear or two along the way and i still have a long way to go, but i just try to remind myself of all the things he has learnt and of what a great dog he is, 75% of the time, lol :-D

good luck sam, stick with it  and your child will have the joy i had of growing up with animals and knowing their love :-)
xx
- By MowglisMummy [gb] Date 27.09.08 22:31 UTC
Just thought Id post a short update. Recently changed Mowglis food from Pedigree to Nature Diet and its like a switch has flicked in his brain. He is soooo much calmer, he still has his moments where he thinks Im his personal chew toy but he is alot easier to handle. Cant believe food can make such a difference. Its a miracle.
- By pinklilies Date 27.09.08 22:57 UTC
My two go berserk on pedigree too.
- By MowglisMummy [gb] Date 28.09.08 15:29 UTC
Its ridiculous how major brand dog food is so rubbish. It either sends them nuts or gives them the runs.
- By dexter [gb] Date 28.09.08 15:47 UTC
That's great news :), every dog is different :), we first brought my boy up on pedigree, we changed it because his stools were too lose :)
- By Lea Date 28.09.08 15:53 UTC
Ah but all dogs are different.
My ex's Rottweiler can only eat Bakers complete. Anything else and she has the runs badly. She is perfectly behaved, and not hyper!!!!
Where as my Rottweiler clings to the ceilings on it. So hyper you cannot live with her!!!!
So the same breed, different results!!!!
Lea
- By Harley Date 28.09.08 16:27 UTC
Really pleased that things are looking up :)
- By sandra [gb] Date 28.09.08 17:23 UTC
Hi Sam, it would be a shame if you didn't post anymore as your experience will give someone in the same or similar situation hope. Sometimes on a forum as previously said it is easy to give our opinion in black and white but we would not actually say those things to someones face, or we would word it different. It is fantastic you have found a difference already and moving home will give you lots more space.

Good luck let us all know how the wee monkey gets on.

sandra
- By MarkSurrey [gb] Date 29.09.08 10:01 UTC
It's great to hear that the chap is doing better on the new diet.

Puppies are a handful and what is only really a few weeks of normal development can seem like a lifetime of chewing cushions, peeing on the carpet, pooing behind the sofa where you can't reach it, prising things out of their mouths before they can swallow them (and never finding out where they get hold of all this stuff). You do everything the books say, you crate train, you spend half your life taking them outside, you learn to yelp and replace your torn, bloodied hand with a chew toy, and still they won't learn. Worst of all, friends and family think its all so cute, and nobody understands how this loveable little bundle of fluff can turn a normally sane adult into a gibbering wreck. And then, in 99.9% of cases, you get up one morning and something in the little tyke's head has clicked - or maybe he's just got bored tormenting you. All of a sudden, you realise that it wasn't all a huge mistake, and begin to realise why so many people have so many dogs in their lives.

And that is what is great about forums like this. You can be honest about what is going on, and how you are feeling, to people that you never have to see in person. And there is nothing you will go through, that many other people won't have been through before. The problem with forums, like email and text, is that you cannot read somebody's body language, and comments that are intended to be helpful can come over as rude, those meant to be honest can sound condescending. Please don't be offended by people's posts, and don't leave the forum that could be so good for you. Also, please don't be too harsh on those who said that you couldn't cope with the dog. Your opening post said that you may have to give him up, as it was upsetting you so much that you couldn't live with him anymore. We now know that you were just having a bad day, but it is fair for people reading that post to assume that you couldn't cope.
- By lunamoona [gb] Date 29.09.08 11:04 UTC

> Puppies are a handful and what is only really a few weeks of normal development can seem like a lifetime of chewing cushions, peeing on the carpet, pooing behind the sofa      > where you can't reach it, prising things out of their mouths before they can swallow them (and never finding out where they get hold of all this stuff).


This is so true, when my Chows were going through this stage I went and bought a quite expensive training book. I walked in the door and just put it on the sofa as I was dying for the loo, 2 miutes later I came back to find it in tiny pieces on the floor, didn't even get to look at it!! 
Topic Dog Boards / Behaviour / Giving up.....

Powered by mwForum 2.29.6 © 1999-2015 Markus Wichitill

About Us - Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy