Hi everyone,

just needed to post on here to help get some grief out of my system, as some of you may know i have a 12 months old ddb Abbey who was diagnosed with spinal disease 6 months ago and to everyones amazment she done fantastic to the point where she could run and play, sadly 2 days ago i found her in the morning unable to walk, dont know what has happened overnight but she was very weak, she is now in hospital on morphine, steroids and fluids, her prognosis is very poor and we know what we will have to do by monday if she has no improvement.

i feel like my heart has been ripped out and thats before when have said goodbye, i cant stop crying and am devastated that she is so young and so very beautiful in everyway, full of smiles and love.
Surgery is an option but we have been told due to more than one problem her chances of a full recovery are not good and i feel it would be selfish to put my baby through all that pain to likely be no better and just miserable, though letting go is just so hard, i love her more than words can ever say and am typing through the tears.

please give a thought for my precious baby, we are bringing her home today until monday when we will have to make the hardest decision i have ever had to make :( :( :(

i am so terribly sorry mandy. thinking of you and poor Abbey. {{hug}}

So sorry to hear your news.
Thinking of you and Abbey xx

I am so sorry to hear your news. :-( Devastating for you.

Dear Mandy,

on here many of us know very well what you're going through now and what lies ahead.  If you need courage, comfort, advice or just to let loose your pent up emotions you will usually find someone on here at almost all hours of the day and night - use us if you need us.

Please God you and Abbey will enjoy each others comfort and company this weekend and that you will gather the courage needed to do what's best for her now.  I'm so very sorry that it has come to this but I honestly believe that you are doing the right thing.  Often we have several options available to us re health matters but they are not always in the dog's best interests.  Sometimes we are best to give them peace regardless of how it rips our hearts to shreds.

Blessings, prayers and {{{{hugs}}}} to you both, Teri

Hello Mandy

I have had to make this terrible chice on so meny times it is never easy but think of all the good times and enjoy your time this weekend with her .

If it should be that I grow weak
and pain should keep me from my sleep
then you must do what must be done
for we know this battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand
but don't let grief then stay your hand
for this day more than the rest,
your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years
what is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer? So
when the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend
only stay with me until the end
and hold me firm and speak to me
until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
the kindness that you did for me
although my tail it's last has waved
from pain and suffering I have been saved.

Please do not grieve, it must be you
who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two these years
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Thinking of you xx

I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and Abbey xxx

So very sorry to hear this. Thinking of you all

So sorry for your heartbreaking news. Enjoy your weekend with Abbey and rest assured you will be making the right choice for her. I feel lots of us on the forum have been where you are today and we know how hard it is. She has given you her whole...let her out gently now, it's the one thing a true friend can do for her.
Thinking of you
Aileen and the girls. xxxx

I am so sorry Mandy. I know what it is like to lose one so young and there is nothing quite like it. :( HUGS.

So very sorry xx

praying for you both
xxx

Been there but with an injury. I had the same choice about trying an operation but with a very guarded prognosis and also the suggestion that the long restricted recovery could have a very bad effect on his temperament, I decided not to put my boy through it and let him go.

My thoughts are with you and I really hope you have a better outcome than my boy did {{{hugs}}}

I am so sorry Mandy to hear your sad news about Abbey. I too lost a DDB at a young age. Along with others on here I know what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. Give Abbey a big cuddle from me. My thoughts are with you. xxxx

I'm so sorry Mandy.  :-(

my thoughts are with you at this difficult time

Thank you all SO much for your lovely kind words, she is home now and we are spending our time together, she is so much happier today than yesterday and has her big smile back. Though of course we know what may still have to be we are just so happy to be sitting and having a big cuddle!

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to send your thoughts and wishes it means alot to me and abbey :)

Oh {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mandy and Abbey}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Remember you have given her al the love she would ever wish for, and if you do have to make the decision on Monday you know it will be the best for Abbey.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Lea :)

Thinking of you at this sad time, But its for the best, It must be so hard for you, But you know its the right thing,
Give abbey my love and hugs to you too, XXXXXXXXXXXX

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

Enjoy the time you do have, and take comfort in knowing that even though this decision is tearing you apart, it is the best thing you could do for young Abbey.

It is never an easy one to make, bless you.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))

enjoy the time you both have together as these moments will last forever with you ,my heart goes out to you mandy ,hopeing and praying u find the strenth to cope ,god bless you both ((((((((hugs)))))))) xxxxx

Sorry to hear about Abbey.  As a very good friend said to me a couple of months ago when faced with a similar decision: Don't be afraid, what you decide will be right. xxx

So sorry to hear this news - hugs to you both

marion x

I'm so sorry Mandy, my heart really goes out to you. Losing one so precious so early is heartbreaking. My thoughts and wishes go out to you and Abbey.

thinking about you mandy, and all your family, god bless you and abbeyxxxxx

(((hugs))) Sorry

just to let everyone know that i called the vet out tonight as we decided it was time to let abbey go, she was unable to lay down and sleep as she was so uncomfortable and i sat up with her 2 nights and i couldnt see her have another uncomfortable night, i felt she deserved to go in the comfort of her own home with me holding her tight, i am sobbing as i type this and feel like my heart has been ripped out, she really was my little girl and i cant believe we will have no more cuddles. it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do and of course now it is done i question if i made the right choice for my girl, at just 12 months maybe we should have tried for a bit longer but watching her so uncomfortable was tearing me apart.
God bless my little pudding, i pray i made the right choice for your darling xxxxx Mummy loves you and you will stay in my heart forever X

You KNOW you did the right thing. If you didnt you wouldnt have done it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Abbey is now running free without pain. The best thing you could have done for her.
I feel for you so much after going thru it in Dec, but more so that Abbey was so young.
Please please please dont bet yourself up, you will know you have done the right thing.
RIP Abbey
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
{{{{{{{{{{{{{mandy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You've been exceptionally brave and wonderfully caring Mandy - bless you.  Your sweet girl's spirit is running free over Rainbow Bridge to enjoy meeting many new friends who, please God, are waiting there for all of us.  Abbey is without pain and had your love and comfort when she needed it most.  It's what we would all want for ourselves and our own.

"I will lend you for a while a pup",   God said,
"For you to love him while he lives and mourn for when he's dead.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years, or maybe two or three.
But will you, until I call him back, take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief
you'll always have his memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return
but there are lessons taught below I want this pup to learn.
I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true
and from the folk that crowd life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love nor think the labour vain,
nor hate me when I come to take my Pup back again?"

I fancied that I heard them say "Dear Lord Thy Will be Done,
for all the joys this Pup will bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness we'll love him while we may
and for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should you call him back - much sooner than we've planned,
we'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
If by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve
the memory of him we loved, will help us while we grieve.
And when our faithful bundle departs this world of strife
we'll have yet another Pup and love him all his life"

(Author unknown)

Sending positive thoughts of comfort and cyber hugs to you that soon only your fondest and happiest memories of your time shared with Abbey are what you fall asleep to and wake up with.

Teri x

Oh Mandyc, sad news but the best you could do for your baby. You made the right decision, she is no longer in distress,  but it is still heartbreaking i know. Run free Abbey

Marion x

Oh dear, I am so very, very sorry. You have done the right thing though and there is absolutely no doubt about that. It was the last loving thing that you could do for your sweet girl.

Run free Abbey, free from all pain.

Thinking of you xx

Abbey doesn't know she's gone Mandy, or that her life was too short. She's beyond that now. She would have known more pain if you'd kept her going. You loved her enough to set her free. It's a hard choice - one I've only had to make once thank goodness but I've never regretted it. You won't either. You did what was best for her. My sincere condolences to you. I, as many here do, understand how much it hurts.

It takes courage to put your dog's needs above your own - you have given her the peace she deserved and she will suffer no more. I am so very sorry that you had to make such a decision but there really was no other choice for her. Thinking of you at this sad time.

Mandy, my heart goes out to you, I know how difficult the decision was to make, but you made the right one for your darling Abbey.  I also understand like so many on this forum how heartbreaking it is to make the decision and especially for one so young, but you have put an end to her suffering, and that is the kindest and most loving thing you could do for her, you were the best Mum she could have had, and that is why she chose you.

In time you will be able to smile and remember all the happy times and think about the happiness she brought with her and gave to you, but for now don't hold back the tears, cry as much as you need to, and talk about her as much as you want to, she was your special girl and will be in your heart forever.

Run free at the bridge Abbey xxxxx 

Our thoughts are with you at this sad time,run free Abbey no more pain.

My thoughts are with you at this sad time Mandy,

I know with others how heartwrenching it is.

It is so hard to let the ones we love go, but it is the right thing to stop the pain and let them rest in peace.

I know she will be thankful for that.

Run free Abbey, if you see Carrington give him a hug from me.

Oh Mandy, I am so sorry to hear that. What an unselfish and difficult decision to have had to make.

xx

Thinking of you at this sad time and just remember all the fond memories {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

Oh Mandy, I can't begin to imagine how hard that must have been for you to make that decision for a dog so young.........you have done the right thing by Abbey despite it feeling so awful for you.

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Run free Abbey xxx

Hi everyone and thank you all for your lovely words, i am feeling terribly guilty today and cant help feeling that we should have opted for surgery and given her a chance, she had the heart of a lion and just may of shocked everyone, we never thought she would of walked again six months ago but she did so now i feel like my decision was wrong for such a young baby, she was still bright, eating and wanting to chase the cat right up until the end, just the pain in her shoulders prevented her from laying comfortably and that was what made me call the vet, sorry to go on but i just cant get the sick feeling of regret out of my stomach, and it is too late to change what has been done, i have lost a couple of dogs before but never a baby and never had a choice, this is gut wrenching for me and i really cant cope right now. what if surgery had been successful and given her years of a happy life?

From the sounds of it the surgery would have been major and with a poor outlook and prolonged recovery - don't know if I am right as don't know excatly what she had. But IMO just because we CAN do something doesn't mean it is right or we should - and having had a dog undergo major orthopaedic surgery and seen what he went through on recovery it isn't somethign I personally would do again - so IMO you were right, you did what you believed was best to fere her from pain and that is all we can do for our dogs - don't beat yourself up.

Hi Mandy

So very sorry to hear about Abbie.
We've "spoken" before as I have a young retriever, Logie, who has just undergone neck/spinal surgery.  He is recovering now but I was shocked at his condition afterwards, it was 3 weeks after surgery before he could even stand unaided.  He is improving all the time but it was a major thing to put him through and I wouldnt like to have to do it again.
I remember you feeling before that surgery wasnt really an option for her due to her type of problems and I am sure you did make the right decision by not putting her through that.
I didnt notice the dates when I started reading the thread and felt so upset for you when I read she was gone.   I think you have done your best for her by letting her go peacefully in her own home without the trauma of intrusive surgery which may not have cured her.

Thinking of you.

Eileen

I am not coping with my decision at all, and feel i let my girl down when she needed me most, she had one little chance and i denied her that chance, had surgery been successful she could have had many happy years.
I am riddled with guilt about making the wrong choice for my very special baby.
I miss her so much and would have given absolutely anything to make her well.
This is by far the most difficult thing i have ever had to do and am clearly not dealing with it very well at all :(

Mandy
You will be feeling miserable because you have lost her. The problem is that we feel guilt or what we think is guilt but it is because we miss them so much that we can't help but question ourselves. Really you know her prognosis was not good, what would you be feeling if she hadn't done well with the surgery. Try very hard not to question your decision, you know in your heart of hearts what was right. I think we know instinctively when the time is right. Won't stop you hurting though.

Mandy I can hardly read these words as I am going through exactly the same. My boy was wagging his tail at the Vet that came here to put him to sleep and I cannot let go. Maybe...if....should I...He had a spleen mass that would have burst by now and he could have suffered dreadfully. We can afford for our pets not to suffer longer than they need to. We haven't got that luxury for humans as I watched a younger member of my family die dreadfully, her suffering was inhumanely horrific.

We can, at least, not allow our canine friends to suffer that way.

You did the right thing for your dog, as I did for mine.

xxxxxxx God bless

Mandy - you most certainly did the right thing for your dog. You wouldn't have even considered it if it wasn't the right thing to do.

Please don't feel bad about your decision. At least with our dogs we have the abilitiy to not let them suffer and give them the peace they so deserve. I too have watched a human loved one struggle on far longer than anyone should be allowed to suffer for and that is one of the things that reassures me with my dogs - for them I can give a peaceful end to a life that has reached a stage where the only thing left to do is say goodbye and give them relief and release.

Grief can make you doubt everything, it clouds your judgement, it fills you with "what ifs" and "if onlys" and can take a long, long time for you to come to terms with. You will have your doubts, it is a part of grieving, but those around you will have no doubts at all that you had the courage to do the hardest final greatest kindness for your beloved dog.

It's much too early days Mandy for you to begin to cope - when we are nursing them we find inner strength, the same as the strength that comes to us when we let them go.  In the cold light of day our energy has been sapped and the resolve to do what's best is overtaken by guilt and heartache that we could never have imagined would affect us so thoroughly in everything we do :(

I've never known a time when the right decision for me would not have been the wrong decision for any of my much loved pets that I've said goodbye to. God forbid it is a situation I will be in again for many, many years but I hope and pray that when the time comes around again I have the strength you so recently mustered to put my companion first and my own needs and emotional frailty second.

I pray that you find peace of mind and heart soon.  Here at least you are among people who have shared the same experience as you and know all too well how difficult it can be to cope.  Somehow and some day it becomes bearable and over more time still we begin to recognise that it was for the greater good.
Teri x

That was a beautiful post Teri xx

From cats to gerbils (I have never had to have a dog pts that will ne a major hit but fingers crossed its a long way to go till that day comes)with every pet that I was been forced to have PTS has made me break down but you have to find strength for your remaining pets who are grieving too if it was their companion who was lost.

Its a sad hard time, but there is a silver lining I promise you, dont rush your self, grieve fully and thats the best way to recover, not forget as we could never do that could we :)

It may help to make a memento to your baby too, keeps your mind busy and is a beautiful reminder too, I did a huge cross stitch of my cat scatty when he died and it reads ''scatty in heaven'' along the bottom and he is surrounded by many colourful flowers and he is also breathing one in with a big smile (its bringing a tear to my eye describing it lol big softie ) and I changed the colours of the cat to suit him, that helped me loads as he was my companion for 18 years, maybe you could do something like that babe? xx

Just to say only read the sad story of your dear dog... please do not feel guilty for putting an end to her suffering and pain. To watch something you love dearly going through the pain and discomfort day in and day out is a cruel thing and just goes to show that you thought of her feelings over your own. You have more courage than me.

I am going through the same thing with my boy of 9 who is in pain and not enjoying his life like he did, I know I can not just keep him with me for my own selfish reasons of him being my baby boy. I have shed tears reading what you have put. I known you are a very strong person and that I do hope I face reality of my situation with my own lad . It is the hardest decision to make. I keep saying to myself I'll give him another few months to let him get over his op but knowing full well it will not be long until the evitable will happen.   Big hug to you from us x

I am so sorry for your loss and completely understand your doubts but looking from the outside in you did the kindest and bravest thing you could for your beloved friend.  I lost a girl at a year old just over a year ago and still agonise over her now but I know she is free from pain and hopefully running at the bridge like she never could here.  I did put my girl through an op and it didn't help her, she was very brave and never moaned or complained, she had the most amazing attitude to life - I wish I had had your bravery and not put her through the op though.

Coincidentaly someone sent me the poem that Teri posted above nearly a year ago to the day - I get a lot of comfort from it.  I hope your pain eases with time and you realise what a brave thing you did for your girl.  My thoughts are with you.