hi all
Last May a whole group of friends on this forum helped us with advice with rehoming a Golden Retriever and he has now pretty well settled in. the remaining challenge he has and needs a whole lot of help with is letting me go out without driving my wife to distraction as he whinges until I come back!
His history is against him which is why he needs so much help. the first 6 years of his life he was a companion to a housebound old gentleman who was unable to take him out so he got used to being at home. as a result he is very well house trained but locks on to one male as a companion. When the old man died Sandy was kept on his own in a garage for 18 months and so got used to isolation. Now he has come to live with us he seems to be getting used to family life and is a happy dog with a great sense of fun etc and as long as we are both around him he is perfectly normal although he does tend to make a lot of fuss of my wife even when I am at home. however if I go out even into the garden or shopping he just whinges endlessly and will not stop or be distracted from whinging by anything..toys,food etc. when I come back he is fine..and goes to sit by my wife! If we both go out he just goes to bed and sleeps till we return...we and neighbours have checked this by creeping back and looking through the window!...and when we both go to bed at night he is OK. If we are in different rooms he accepts it. But we are being driven to distraction by this whinging when I leave the house. Does anyone have a good solution PLEASE.....if it goes on we may have to go through the heartbreaking decision to try and get him homed with a single old gentleman.

What is he like if your wife goes out without you and its just you and him left?

Could it be a pack separation thing that he cant cope with??

I'm not to sure on things like this but it would be real shame for him to have another home.

He wanders around the house looking for her but he doesn't whinge and eventually gives up so it's not the same!

Hi,can your wife arrange to take Sandy out for a walk at the same time you go out,he may not miss you so much when he comes back,also try not to make a big thing out of going out and returning as excited energy feeds an anxious mind,dont forget he,s lost one owner and dosn't want to lose another.

Sounds like he might be worried for your safety when you go out alone, he probably thinks your wife will look after you if you go out together!

Hi there!
Great to hear that he is settling in!
Could I ask who the primary care giver is?
If it's yourself, then you could try handing the reins completely over to your wife.  You just might find after a few weeks of her feeding, walking, playing, grooming him etc, he won't be so tightly bonded with you & the crying when you leave will stop.
Try to take a backseat with him as much as possible, this includes reducing the amount of fuss you give him when he comes to you.  If you withdraw into the background as much as you possibly can, he should bond more with your wife & not be so anxious when you leave him.
Please, please don't consider rehoming him, he sounds as if he's settled in really well with you both.  He just needs a bit of tweaking  before he's "perfect" for you.
When I went into hospital to have my last child (she's now 6yrs old), my gsd waited by the door virtually the entire time I was away & wouldn't eat to start with.  I had a C section, so was in for 5 days.  But he eventually was persuaded by a couple of ready roasted chickens from Tescos!
Remember, they have no idea when or if you're coming back.
Good luck & remember to please let us know how you are getting on with him!

He is suffering from separation anxiety and he sounds a sensitive boy. He lost one owner then locked up in isolation, how cruel. He sounds like he is panicking he won't see you again either. Yes, ask your wife to take him out and have fun with him when you are away. Exciting good fun walks.

People often, without realising, they are making 'worrying' signals to the dog when they go out by saying things like 'I Won't be long' 'Be a good boy' 'No whingeing' He doesn't undersatand what you are saying but understands the tone that is a trigger to you going, and that triggers off an anxiety response in him as its a ritulised prelude to 'losing you' for a while or forever in his mind. Just go without eye contact or a word, very matter of fact, and return and do the same as it becomes the norm.

See your Vet about possible treatments for anxiety to help him get over this. What isn't working, change the way you do things

And yes, get your wife to feed him, walk him and form a great bond with him.

He sounds a sensitive love and deserves so much happiness. The bad temperaments out there in rescue Goldens (and bought from pups) are huge and this is overcomable, where as other problems may not be. He sounds a poppet that is stressed because of losing his first dad.

Hy what area are you in?

Hello
We are in the Shirley area of Solihull West Midlands
where are you?
The Two Peas ...and Sandy