Hi

Upset and wish i would'nt let my mum get me like this. I'm 29 and after leaving my partner of seven years which was the hardest thing i have ever had to do i find myself living back with my parents for the time being. For the last year me and my mum and my SBT Maise go on a 45 min bike ride every day. My mum is away on holiday at the min so my new boyfriend who i have been seeing for a few months said he would come with me, he did'nt have a bike so i said he could borrow one of ours. It was funny it was chucking it down and we were in a right mess all wet and muddy. I phoned my mum to say hello when i got out the bath i was all happy and churpy untill i told her about him coming with me she got all funny with me saying i hope you have'nt knocked the wall and chiped it taking the bike round the front and i hope you have cleaned it if it's all muddy. I told her i did'nt realise it would be a problem or that the wall could chip, i had just got out the bath so it would be a bit silly going out and cleaning bike now, she comes home tommorrow. Anyway that was that then she sent me a text ''i expect my bike to be how i left it.Hope paths are clean after taking muddy bike round back'' then another ''you should have rung and asked about bike and he should have used another not mine'' its not even hers its my dads she just rides it because he got a new one. Anyway the txt had me in tears again. Sorry for rambling im probably just been silly because im tired.

I suspect that your Mum may be going through the menopause and that could amplify any picky traits she already has. Try and give her a bit of extra consideration and take her idiosyncrasies with a pinch of salt. Make sure everything is in order and then wait for the moans because I would not mind betting what ever you do will not be right. Wipe the tears and learn to shrug.

It could be that your mum is used to having you home and the bike rides were something that you do together and she may feel threatened that you took your boyfriend with you, I doubt it really has anything to do with the bike at all. Some mums find it hard to let go even when you are a grown woman - rollseyes-

Sending you a ((((hug))))

Grit your teeth count to ten and speak to her about it when you are calm ;-)

they can be trying can't they? though i'm assured daughters are just as bad :) she'll be in the huff about something else and taking it out on you cause you have to forgive her (though i appreciate that doesn't help).  {{{{hug}}}}

Hey! grumpyness works both ways at times.  Love your mum nomatter what, just like she does you. you will never get another mum.

It sounds like your mum isn't enjoying her holiday, and is jealous that you had a good day ;-)

I wish I had a mum who could moan at me (even if I did get upset at her) My mum died 20 years ago, unexpectedly.

You're good to be so honest.  My lot always tell me they are going to have raves when we go away weekends.  That way I am just pleased to see I have a house when I get home.  To be fair though it's usually tidier than before we go.

It sounds to me like your mum has enjoyed having her freedom while you were living away. Before I got married my mum would borrow my clothes (wrong way round I know) and my brother would snoop about my room.  I grew to hate not being able to find what I wanted because things would be moved.  Then I got married and eventually had 3 children.  One of my daughters would regularly 'borrow' clothes, shoes and makeup from me and her sister and help herself to the occasional jumper from her brother. This meant that as time has gone on I have got a bit possessive about my things.  when daughter came back I would get extremely irritated about the slightest thing she moved or asked to borrow and now she's away again I feel a sort of liberation that I can leave something out and it won't be touched.

I'm not saying that you are like my daughter but perhaps your mum has just got used to having the place to herself and got a bit possessive about her things. Mums usually give their whole selves and go without things because they put their children before themselves.  When those children fly the nest mums get a bit precious about their belongings. 

Just my opinion.

Just like LindyLou , i wish my Mum was still here to moan at me . It is 12 years in June since she died . I miss her every day .

We all get in a mood sometimes . Just let it go , and enjoy your new boyfriend !

It's always hard to move back home, as much as i love my mum, we drive each other up the wall :) we done it short term with hubby and dogs in tow while waiting for our house sale to go through.
I am sure it will pass, and it will all sort itself out :)

Mums can be awkward I never really got on with mine. When I was younger it was horrible. Towards later life we got on and when she died I discovered more good bits than bad.
Think of this she walks into your house and borrows something of yours without asking! she is proably pissed that you didn't even think to ask..
Yes its diffecult, I could never have lived again with my Mum, its diffecult both ways, but give and take a bit.
I found I spent the first 30 years always having to say sorry for a quiet life, but its hard to take a stand when she is doing the giving and you the taking.
Independance is great we got on a lot better when I left, she was a great Nanny, but living with her again NOOOOOO.
A bunch of flowers and  a sorry and pray for somewhere else to live soon.
I miss Mum its true but mine was a bugger with her fists !! there not all angels.

I'm going to stick up for your mum a little. :-)

Yes, you had a great day, and I'm really pleased that your boyfriend came to keep you company, as a mum I would be happier that you had company. 

But it is her home and her (or your dad's) things, she obviously does not know your boyfriend very well with him being new and does not know if he will take care of her things or not and I guess does not put trust in basically a stranger to her.

Some people really don't bother about such things but if she is finickerty about her possesssions then she will continue to be so no matter how old you are,  which you should have figured out, there may also be some resentment of the new boyfriend in there too, infact I would think there is, I get the impression that perhaps for whatever reasons she did not want him there and begrudged him spending the time with you, which is why she begrudged him using her things. I guess a more indepth talk as to what she thinks of him may be needed.

Sorry,  your day was spoiled, it's awful when you've had fun to be brought right back down to earth again.  Just make sure the bike is clean and next time, just don't tell her. :-) Or don't use her things.

Oh dear, bet your glad you are living back at home.

Maybe your mum saw your bike rides as something special you did together and feels she has been pushed aside for the boyfriend. Sometimes there are not many things that a grown child and mum do together regularly and she just feels a bit jealous and hurt that you wanted to do it with someone else.

Like some of the others, I lost my mum  years ago when I was 30. She was irritating, annoying, boring and a total pain sometimes. Gosh how I miss her - I think about her nearly every day and wish she was here to share things with. Sometimes you never really appreciate someone til they are gone, and of course, by then it is too late. They say it is far easier to love someone when they are gone....