Our beautiful, beautiful, trusting, clever labrador girl was diagnosed with a brain tumour yesterday. She is only just 4 years old. After 7 months of tests and describing her personality change and symptoms to the experts at the animal hospital, they finally did an MRI scan yesterday morning after I suggested a tumour behind the eye. The latest problem for her was bumping into the wall near doorways and circling to see something.
Last October, the first sign of problems was her lack of enthusiasm for greeting friends and family, she was always so excited when anyone visited. Next she went off her food and became extremely quiet. Over the following couple of months up until Christmas, the veterinary hospital did every test they thought may find the cause. She then rallied a little in the new year and we thought she was going to improve steadily. About three weeks ago she started to urinate in the house overnight, she has never soiled inside even as a young pup, she was very quickly clean. Then we had to start shouting her name very loudly for her to realise we were calling her and she started walking into walls instead of through the door.
I went back to the hospital with her last week and they suggested a slipped disc because they had done some hind leg exercise tests on her! Yesterday I took the bull by the horns and told them what I thought it might be, never really thinking I would be right. The scan pictures show a massive tumour that has grown from the back of her jawline, up round the back of her left eye and into the brain. The timeline of symptoms would follow this progression. I am so utterly devastated that it has come to this when maybe the tumour could have been dealt with in the autumn at the first sign of personality change. I don't know how to cope with the guilt that we have found the problem too late. Our girl is so gentle and such a joy to live with, I feel I've let her down.

Oh beverley. You havent let her down. You have done everything you can. You should not in any way feel guilty. We as owners are not vets and its not up to us to know what is wrong with our animals. It just so happened in this case that what you thought it may be happened to be true. Have you got any indication of how long you have left with her? Make sure you enjoy every moment and make this time special or you will forever regret being too preoccupied with feeling guilt than enjoying your little girl.
So sorry to hear that though, its not easy. My thought are with you.xxx

Hi Beverley,

I'm very sorry for you and your lovely dog that the diagnosis has turned out like this but please rest assured that you haven't let your girl down at all.  There are so many reasons which can cause symptoms to be displayed and tumors, malignant or benign, are not really as commonly the cause as we lay folks think.  I'm sure many time owners have worried that something very sinister was going on but had their minds set at ease by further tests or just a longer waiting period. 

This outcome for your girl could not have been predicted, particularly being so young - it's heartbreaking, I'm heartbroken for you, but whatever you do don't beat yourself up about maybe having been able to do something differently.  I don't think any of us would have done differently from you in the same circumstances.

Blessings to you and gentle hugs to your precious friend,
Teri

just to echo the other posts, you haven't let her down!!

I know there's little I can say to comfort you, thinking of you and your gentle girl at this time

x x

You've not let her down.  It's hard in people finding out certain diagnosis and we can speak in animals it's even harder and some tumours and illnesses can replicate symptoms in less severe illnesses. 

Oh no, you haven't let her down. The problem is that our dogs are so stoical and accepting of any ailments that they have that they do mask any hidden problems and usually any changes in them you can often find a potentially different reason for why they act a specific way. I am so sorry for your girl and so sorry for the decisions that you will be making.

How devastating for you - but you cant feel guilty in any way - you did absolutely everything you possibly could - she has had a wonderful life full of love with you

Maxine

I am so sorry. :( Like others have said, you have done everything for your dog, absolutely not let her down. I have a Golden that was/is suspected of having a brain tumour, but we never did an MRI due to the costs involved as the vet said the outcome would be no different, so with him we just don't know.It's just a guess. And this is the important part, my vet said even if we did scan and found a tumour, there would be basically NOTHING we could do. Yes if you have enough money/insurance (we are talking thousands) you can operate to remove a brain tumour, but the prognosis would STILL only be an extra 6 months of life or so, and personally I would not put a dog through this. So please don't think that you waited too long -I'm sure you couldn't have done anything different. I can sympathise with what it must be like for you -my boy is the same age as your girl.

Not your fault at all!  How were you to know what was going on (that's what the vets and hospital are for).

Sending hugs,
Sarah.

Hi Beverley
I am so sorry for you. We had a beautiful 7 year old GSD who was fighting fit. One day my husband took her for a walk and when she came home I noticed a slight stagger/side step, then she appeared absolutely fine, although her proprioception was quite poor on one leg. I wasn't happy so took her to the Vet's. Fortunately he is a friend, so took my concerns seriously and kept her in for extensive x-rays. These showed degeneration of several verebrae, and it was felt that this was the cause. Cage rest and anti-inflammatories were prescribed, but to me things just didn't fit and her expression just didn't look right. I had family, friends (one of whom is a vet nurse), a friend who is another vet, and even neighbours all look at her, but everyone said she looked just fine. A week after her visit I took her back for a check up, and they were delighted with her progress, no neurological deficit and she was moving really well. It was then that I realised that her eyes looked really dark. I mentioned it and they did the usual tests and although they agreed her pupils were dilated, they felt it could be through fear. They did make a note to check them the following week.
The surgery is about 10mins drive from home, and as we got into the house I offered her some tasty ham that I had taken with me as titibits but as she went to take it she missed. I felt physically sick as it dawned on me that she couldn't see. I did many more tests and felt that she was totally blind. I rang the vets back but my vet had gone out on call, so they said he would call me back. This he did, but it was too late to whip her back to see their eye specialist, so he told me to bring her in at 9am the following morning. That night was just horrendous. She was terrified and stayed superglued to my leg, only walking if I had my hand on her head guiding her. Even then if she sensed an object she literally jumped out of her skin. I stayed up all night with her and it was just horrible to see, the side-stepping was back and she was quite simply terrified. The following morning the specialist confirmed that she was totally blind, and suggested taking her to Chester for an MRI scan, but could not give any prognosis herself. I asked to speak to my vet, as I wanted to know if I was doing it for her or for me. When he came into the room I knew his answer. He explained that only a brain tumour could present the symptoms we had, and it had to be a very aggressive one at that because of the speed in which she had gone downhill. He simply said that if I trusted his judgement he would let her go there and then. He said surgery may be a possibility but in his opinion the tumour was so aggressive, it would be inoperable and the speed things were deteriorating, he didn't know if she would even make the trip. I trust him implicity and know how hard he fights if there is hope. I have tears streaming down my face as I type this, as we let her go. At the time I felt that was best thing for Leia.
Two years on I still wonder if I did the right thing, and can't seem to get over her. I don't really know what I am trying to say to you, but my heart goes out to you. The only thing I will say is that you will know when the time has come to let her go. Plan it with care, don't leave it until you have no choice. I will always regret having Leia put to sleep at the surgery. One thing that haunts me is she hesitating as I led her into the vets that morning, and I told her "it would be OK" and she trusted me and followed me inside.
You have done everything for your girl, and obviously love her dearly. Some times it takes a while for things to be diagnosed. Like Leia there were other possible causes for her problems and these had to be ruled out first. Please be strong for yourselves and your lovely girl. Enjoy the time you have left with her, it really is precious. Try not to blame yourself, take care and good luck.

please do not blame yourself for this, how on earth were you to know? i'm so so sorry {{{hug}}} for you and your girl

How very kind kind of you Goldiemad to share your own story of such sorrow.  I had tears in my eyes reading your words and hope that some day you will fully come to terms what you went through.  However I know too well that is not always easy and pray that it is not far down the road for any of us who are going through or have gone through such tragic circumstances.

Best wishes,
Teri

Our hopes and thoughts are with you Beverly. We went through a similar thing with a GDS years ago and the signs were easily attributed to other causes, it took a long time to pinpoint the real cause of her symptoms, You are not to blame, I doubt the vet could have done any more..these things are horrible but do happen, make the most of every second you have left together, these times will be so precious to you in the coming dark times.
Thanks Goldimad your story brought a tear to my eyes too, oh! what pain our beloved animals can bring us but they give back more that we ever ask for.
I am off to work this afternoon for a shift in A&E with people who whinge and gripe and complain over the most minor of ailments..our doggies would just get on with it and be so stoic in their pain! They bring a little humility to our lives.
Aileen

Thank you to everyone for your very kind thoughts. I am going back to the hospital now as Molly is on a drip and sedated still, we are waiting to see if surgery is an option. In my heart I know it isn't and I can't bear the thought of her having any more trauma. Thank you Goldiemad for sharing your precious story.

So very, very sorry to hear such sad news. Please don't blame yourself, you have done everything you could possibly have done and sometimes there is just nothing more that can be done.

My husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour in June last year and he had radiotherapy to try and treat this. The treatment caused a lot of side effects, and looking back, we both came to the conclusion that, with hindsight, he would not have elected to go through that treatment. Sadly he passed away at the beginning of the month and I will always wonder if it would have been better for him to have not had the treatment and then perhaps he would not have suffered the indignities that he did.

Thinking of you at this very difficult time and wishing you the strength to deal with whatever the outcome may be.

Sorry to hear your news Harley, I know that you sometimes mentioned in your posts that your husband had a terminal illness. Very sorry to hear of your loss.

oh Beverley, Im just so very sorry to read your post. You have done all you could for her but I know how you feel. Ive had a little JRT for 2 1/2 yrs and she's been ill with one thing and another for most of that time. So much so that im sure my vets thought i was neurotic about her. Then last June she suddenly went blind. Referred to specialists-MRI & spinal tap-diagnosed as GME. She's now 3/4 of the way thro 16mths of chemo. I have to wait and see what happens when treatment stops. It often returns & its probable i'll have to face what you are now. How i'll cope i just don't know-she means the world to me.
I suppose we can only do our best for our canine buddy's, they give us so much love and ask for so little in return don't they.
I'll be thinking of you
Hugs and kisses

I am so sorry,awful time for all concerned,you have done all you can for your lovely girl,thinking of you both.

Love Sheila. xxx

I'm so sorry. (((((hugs)))))) for you both

So desperately sorry; it could not have been predicted, it really couldn't, especially in one so young so please don't feel you have let her down because you haven't.  Enjoy every moment with her. Time is the most precious thing; there just isn't enough of it.  God bless you both xx

Thank you to everyone. There is no time left to enjoy our special girl. The tears won't stop as we have to send Molly to the Rainbow Bridge this morning. She has deteriorated in the last 24 hours so we have to let her go. Love you Molly.

You're being very brave - tears are natural, not a sign of weakness and only that you love your girl so much.
God speed Molly's journey to the bridge where all new and so many friends will greet her with joy.

Bless you Beverley, you're doing the kindest and most difficult thing.

{{{hugs}}} Teri x

I'm so sorry - just believe me when I say that you are doing the right thing for your girl.  It's heart breaking and I know having had to do the same thing just 4 weeks ago but it is for her that you must do this.  Be brave and try and remember all the good times - they will help in time and you know that she knew how much you loved her.  Take care xx

So sorry to hear your sad news of your lab's tumour.
When I had my tervuren girl she started just limping on one front paw so I checked for anything in there and didn't find anything so took her to my vet who looked and didn't find anything mentioned about a seed pod imbedded maybe, this went on for weeks so in the end they booked her in for a good look with a general . I picked her up and they had to remove one of her toes as it had gangrene I took her back for her bandage change every other day but in herself she was down and very miserable . I was going to travel up to my sisters for a few days so I took Kye in as usual for a new bandage then off we would go for our trip together. I was first in that morning and only the vet was there the receptionist hadn't arrived as soon as my vet removed the bandage we could smell the infection and the vet gave me a look. she was taken aback as she knew that was the end for Kye, she was rather flustered by this so went outside to call in the receptionist who had just walked in. I am so glad for those few minutes to say good bye to my girl. She did look at me also to say she had had enough as not being able to run and chase a ball for her was her life . so we put her to sleep. After a week I went in to collect her ashes and spoke to my vet about what had caused this and she told me her cat had the same just suddenly got gangrene in her toes and as she gave her an autopsy found that she had a brain tumour. That was what she assumed had happened to Kye.
You never get over the loss of your friend only to learn to live with it. Know that you did right by your dog by giving them all the love and attention you had .Not letting them suffer it is quality of life not quantity.
This happened to me in 1999 and as I write this tears are streaming down my face. xx 

Cyber {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} to you

Run Free @ The Bridge Molly

So very, very sorry for your loss.

Oh Beverley your story is so sad made me cry.

You will just have to think that in the short time youve had this little girl shes had a quality time with you and has been loved, she is suffering no longer.

So tragic and unfair.

Thinking of you Beverley and Molly

Kim
xxx

So very very sorry to read this. Take heart that you gave Molly a great life of love. Life just doesn't seem fair sometimes though does it!

This is so very sad and I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know from experience that losing a young dog is especially hard to cope with.  It will take time to come to terms with your loss so try not to be too hard on yourself, just give yourself time to grieve.
xx

im very very sorry for your loss.let your tears fall.you did what you could for your girl.

run free at the bridge xxxxx

Oh, I'm so sorry to read of this.  My condolences to you.  And a little bit of tears from me as well.

So sorry to hear your news,I lost my girl suddenly Christmas Eve and this has brought it all back hearing your sad story .
I,m sharing tears with you and sending lots of love to you and your family.
Sharon

How devastating this must be for you, my thoughts are with you.

So sorry to read about Molly Beverly, life is very unfair sometimes but you've done the bravest and best thing by your girl. Run free Molly xxx

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Rest in peace Molly.

My deepest sympathy to you Beverley, I've been sobbing as I read this, and I realise it's because we never know when we are going to have to make the right decision for our beloved companions.  I am proud that so many people on here have been strong enough to share their grief, although they hurt like mad doing so.  Wish I could take your pain away, I am humbled to know that we can come on here and share such a personal experience with each other.   {{{{HUGS}}}} to all of you.  Jean

Im so very sorry for your sad loss.
Sending Hugs and thoughts your way.

jonelle

This has been a terrible day. You have all been so generous to share your personal experiences and offer your condolences. I know my 'non-doggie' friends and work colleagues will not understand how I am feeling. I have taken great comfort from your messages today and will always remember them. Molly was so young and so precious and I am so grateful to this forum for allowing me to share my grief.

Beverley, there's nothing I can say that will make you
feel better tonight or next week or even next month. But you
will in time, take comfort from the fact that you loved Molly and gave
her a life full of joy and companionship as she did you .. and you made
the ultimate sacrifice because you shared this love.
Thinking of you, your family and lovely Molly.