A few months back I posted that a friend was undergoing investigation for suspected Hodgkins disease, well unfortuantely she had a lump removed from her neck & it's been confirmed as Hodgkins & she is to embark upon a course of chemo on the 17th of this month.  She is being very positive & has been given a good prognosis for full recovery.  She is based in Northern Ireland now & has all her family there which is good, but I feel so useless over here.  Really want to do something to help - thought about sending her some books or DVD's to watch.  I also want to look into what natural remedies there are i.e. supplements she can take to ease the side effects of chemo.  I've searched the net quite a bit but there's a whole load of info to wade through so thought I'd consult CD in the meantime. Any help or guidance on this difficult situation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

You could adise her that organic healthy options would be best to eat and then warn her she will more likely crave ridiculous sharp flavours...pickled onions....prawn cocktail crisps and such like.
There is so much info available but she will only be able to take in so much so I really so think you would be better to support than try and help her find solutions unless she asks. Lots of availability to access your time would be the best...texts and so on.
I do hope it goes well for her....it does for lots of folk.
Karen

I have a friend who just went trough surgery, chemo and radiotherapy for cancer. My advice to you would be to:
1. keep in regular contact
2. provide a listening ear at all times
3. Give any practical support you can (I looked after her dogs)
4. Books and dvds are a good idea, as chemo leaves you lifeless and sofabound
5. Encourage her to try to feel attractive...this is a real issue for people undergoing chemo as it affects your outward apearance so much. Maybe get her some fabby moisturisers and skin care.
Be very very careful with the supplement thing. I would not get her to take ANYTHING unless it has been agreed ok by her consultant. Just because something is "natural" does not necessarily mean that it is safe in these circumstances. Many natural remedies have quite marked effects, good or bad, and should be considered as medicines in this case......meaning that they may interact with the chemo. Also, the effects of the chemo on the body might make even the most simple natural remedies dangerous....for example if the chemo caused the kidneys or liver to work more slowly, then that could affect clearance of the natural remedy from the body, making the levels of it in the body too high. It is possible that a natural remedy could interact with the chemo to make the chemo more potent. I am not against homeopathy, but please consider it in the same way that you would consider other  medication, and only give it with th agreement of a qualified medical practitioner.

Last week my husband lost his seven year battle with a different type of cancer and the greatest thing we were given was the support and kind thoughts of others. Just knowing that there are people out there who are keeping you in their thoughts and willing to lend a shoulder to  cry on and a listening ear meant so much to myself and my children and helped us, and continues to help us, through some very difficult times.

As you are too far away to give practical support you may feel that you wish you could do more, but, being removed from the immediate situation means that you can provide something just as important -you are in an ideal situation to provide emotional support to your friend. I found that it is sometimes easier to talk to someone who is not directly involved with the situation because you can say things that you might not wish to "burden" your family with and so add to their own emotional turmoil.

Just be a friend with broad shoulders and the time to listen and you will be giving her one of the greatest gifts of all.

Sending lots of positive, healing thoughts to you, your friend and her family.

Harley......................
Please take my cyber hugs and wrap yourself in them..................
You and he had quite a battle between you, and I dont recall you mentioning his situation  for ages!
Karen.

(((hugs)))) to you harley. x

Sorry to hear of your loss Harley,
I Myself have been diagnosed 3 times with cancer, it is such a difficult time for all involved, but  one friend who didn't change round me, who i use to confide in a lot through e-mail as she had moved away the previous year and i could have a good old rant, she was just there for me in a in different way, we are still close now.
I wish your friend the very best and good for you for being there for her .........:)

Best wishes Hayley

why don't you try and embark on a project together?? Something like re-designing part of her garden?? You can send her some gardening magazines and discuss what plants etc?? Even if you don't actually get out to do it, planning it all out on paper etc can be fun. But if somebody could build a pergola, or new pond etc, it would be somewhere nice for her to sit when the weather improves?? And it could be her little get-away place if she needs it.

I just think if it was me, I would appreciate that.

Good luck to you, sending best wishes your way

:)

Sorry gembo - didn't mean to hijack your thread just wanted to tell you that I understand how much you want to help your friend through this difficult time and how important the role of a friend is at these sad times.

Please don't apologise Harley, you must have gone through a terrible time & it is good that from something so adverse you have gained something positive & feel able to pass it onto others, I appreciate it immensley & am truly sorry for your loss.

I thank you all for your kind words & have taken on board your comments about supplements & have decided not to get involved in that area as really don't want to hinder her treatment.

I'm thinking of sending her some good, light hearted books I've recently read & also a few DVD's I've enjoyed! I'm thinking of sending her the comedy Gavin & Stacey on DVD, it's definitely her sort of humour.  I think I will try & visit but maybe in a few months when things have started to settle down, it's only a short flight away.

Thanks again & if anyone has any advice they think would be useful please get in touch.

Hi Gembo...I agree...just be there for your friend :-)

My Brother (37) is 2 years in remission from a grade 4 non-hodgkins lymphoma...we as a family let him own his illness if you like...and supported him when he needed it....laughter is a great healer.

The LYMPHOMA ASSOCIATION were a great help...always someone at the end of the phone.

I also agree with NOT using any supplements especially with chemo...but reiki can be very beneficial.

Thinking of you all xxx

harley i'm so so sorry. massive hugs.

gembo maybe see if there is forum she can join? we all know how helpful and supportive champdogs can be for even non doggy stuff, having the opportunity to speak to other people with the illness who really understand might be very helpful. my nurse specialist has recommended a crohnes one for me so i'm certain there will be many out there for hodgkins. maybe consider looking into it for yourself as well? friends and family need support through this kind of thing to, and even if she doesn't fancy joining you could get some good advise form people who;ve gone through it. big hugs to you and your friend, hope she does ok :)

Harley big hugs, sorry for your loss.
Mary