Hi everone,
                just wondering what peoples views are on bad luck. l was talking to my brother awhile back and he commented that every ten years he had a major traumatic experience, and inbetween was constant bad luck to a lesser degree.
l realised the same had happened to me, starting at age 16 when my parents died and exactly every ten years since then another major traumatic event happened, more deaths, being trapped in a burning building etc. l dont want to do into detail about all of them but really awful stuff. But also just constant bad luck inbetween. Even if something starts out to be great it always ends badly.

l used to think l was quite lucky but bad experiences have dented my optimism and l now consider myself unlucky.

So do you believe in luck of any kind, do you think you make your own luck, if so, how would you explain the ten yearly traumas. l am so intrigued by this ten yearly phenomenon that l have searched the internet for answers but have found nothing about it.

Sorry if this is a depressing subject so early in the morning, but would really love to hear your views or ideas.

I don't know about bad luck as such, but as I get older I'm realising that everything comes in cycles.  I mean, things can just be bumbling along nicely then you can have a period of horrid things happening, then this passes and things go along nicely again.  I'm a great believer in the phrase 'this too will pass' (not sure where it comes from, might even be the bible, though I'm not religious).  There's a time for everything.

Thanks Paula,
                   very true, and as you said the older a person gets the more obvious these cycles are.
Very profound.

Interesting post!  I work with energy all the time (as does everyone else on the panet - just in a different way).  Everything we can think of is energy  - including the thoughts that just made you think!  With energy, like attracts like - so (not saying this IS the case) if your brother constantly keeps reminding himself of how unlucky he is, especially on a subconscious level, that's what he'll attract. 

I've never heard about a 10 yearly cycle but, to be honest, a pattern can be seen in anything we wish to see it in.  It's called matrixing.  The human mind is programed to see patterns in things - numbers, random images, all sorts of things.  That's why people see the Virgin Mary in their cereal bowls and such like :-D  If you give someone 100 random things that happened on a various dates, they could make a pattern out of it.

If I were you I'd tell your brother to start concentrating solely on the positives in his life.  Like attracts like remember.  I'm not saying that if he does that then only good things will happen in his life.  The universe has this wonderful thing called balance too :)

HTH

Debs

Thanks Debs,
                  yes l agree with you. But the one problem l have come up against is that l used to consider myself "lucky" for want of a better word, my philosophy was always "something will come along" or that things will work out for the best and so on, l was a very positive person, l always believed that thoughts were powerfull and had substance.
So, being so positive  l could not understand why all of a sudden terrible things began to happen and continued to happen to this day. lf l was not thinking negatively to attract negative things why were they happening, and it went beyond the normal amount of nagative experiences the average person would have.
yes l agree it seems to be human nature to look for patterns in things, but l am still intrigued as to why in 1974, 1984, 1994, and 2004 l and my brother had major traumatic events happen, even the months were very nearly the same each time, from around august and september, we live in different countries and have different personalities.
ls there perhaps something more going on here.
Thanks again, very interesting. 

Perhaps because he is expecting something bad to happen around those times it does?  Kind of a psychologically-induced karma, although that's not quite what i mean.

But i am a strong believer that our mindset influences our lives - and possibly even the lives of those around us.  I am a very optimistic person on the whole - but of course I have my down days, everyone does.  I consider myself a very lucky person - the way things have gone in my life has, looking back, made me think that way, and like you Barghest, my philosophy in life is that something will always turn up - because it always has.  Even now, as I'm sinking slowly into debt, I'm in a dead end job with no prospects (although the people are ace! lol) and I can't afford to do lots of things I want to, I believe that something will turn up and things will improve.  I lost my last job back in July, but things are improving slowly.  Now I believe that things improve for me in the end because I believe they will - if that makes sense?  It's a bit like jinxing things I suppose, where someone says 'it hasn't rained yet' so you just KNOW it's going to! :-D

To use a more up-to-date example; I've been single for a long time, and in the last few weeks I've started to believe that very soon, things will improve from that point of view - and lo and behold, they are.  Nothing serious on the horizon as yet, but I am meeting people I like and who could be interested in me, which is more than I've had in 5 years.  Longer, actually.  But it started to pick up as soon as I started to believe it might do.

Okay, I'll stop rambling now :-P  As far as bad things happening goes - my overwhleming belief in life is that everything happens for a reason.  The reason may not be clear as the events leading up to it transpire; that can only be true once the reason has made itself known.  But to look back, every reason has a myriad of twists and turns that lead to it.  With that in mind, I can look back over, say, the last 6 years, and say that every thing that has happened to me has happened to lead me to where I am right now - including my mother's death from cancer.  Had that not happened, I would not be where I am now (both in lcoation and life generally).  So even the bad can lead to the good.  And there's been a fair bit of bad - from mum to problems selling the family home, but it all happened as it did and when it did to lead me here.

Edit: oh, I do love philosophy! :-)

Think this topic comes down to whether your glass is half empty of half full.
Are you an optimisty or pessimist?
If your glass is half full you will ignore the bad patches and look forward to things getting better
If your glass is half empty you think about these bad things alot and come to expect them.

Hi Nikita,
            yes so far  all the other posters seem to have a similar belief that it boils down to being positive.
l really do believe thats true, because for a large part of my life that seemed to work, but then really bad things began to happen and no matter how positive l tried to remain the bad kept coming.
So l too have always had the belief that it happens for a reason, that it will lead somewhere and will unfold before me and make sense at some point, alot of it hasnt, even years later, some things may never make sense.

My brother has always been a pessimist and l was always quite an optimist, but we both suffer from the ten year horrors. l guess it really does depend on how a person looks at a situation. l remember reading about a woman in the USA who was wrongly convicted of murdering her husband, not only had she lost her husband but was found guilty of doing it, she was sentenced to life in prison, while there she made the best of it and taught others to read. She was found innocent  about 15 years later.

Now something like that would destroy me, l guess your right and its the mindset we have, making the most of bad situations.
l think some people are lucky that they seem to be strong no matter what the situation and others buckle under smaller troubles.
But l do wonder sometimes if our beliefs or mindset influences our lives or do experiences influence our mindset. l think that is what has happened to me and my brother, me the most as l used to be very positive.
l think lve had quite a few horrendous things happen that have altered my normal positive self.
Or maybe they happen because l need to learn things or something. l guess l should start looking for the good even in bad situations and change my thinking.
Sorry Nikita to hear about your mum, l hope everything good comes to you.

Hi Freds Mum, thats true, l think lately lve lost focus and cant even see the glass, or at least its hazy.
l must start seeing as half full again.

Yeah...positivity...so easy when you have it so hard if you lose sight.
Life does go in 'Peaks and troughs' and that is just the way it is.
We should all try to think 'half full', it makes for a happier life.

Karen  ;)

Soooooooo True, it is hard when you lose sight of it, its getting it back thats tricky.
Yes thinking positive, what harm can it do, ha ha.

Remember, balance is everything.  Nothing is all good and nothing is all bad.  Nature can be both cruel and kind and we and our lives, as part of nature, are no different :)

Debs

l agree, you are all so right, l realise even more after reading everyones posts just how off track l have gone, or maybe knocked off track from  my usual positive way of thinking.
Thanks.

Barghest:Maybe you need to make that glass half full again...maybe with an nice gin and tonic?or vodka and coke???:-) lol

Hi Barghest, sometimes a bit of depression can make us feel if nothing ever goes our way, it just stops us from being positive. I can't imagine how awful it was for you to be trapped in a burning building but how LUCKY you are to have survived it. Try to see if there is a brighter side to some of the things that have happened.  For instance, when my first husband turned out to be cheating on me and left me literally overnight all I could think was thank God he didn't waste another 10 years of my life before he left.

And just remember, what doesn't kill us makes stronger :)

Hi Freds Mum, excellent idea, l think thats my problem, not enough fun
Thanks.

Hi lunamoona,
                   yes your right also, l think l do get depressed sometimes and its difficult to see the positive.
Your post gave me an idea that maybe l should keep some kind of list and write down the good things in all situations. You know l havent once thought l am LUCKY to have escaped that fire, it never occured to me to see the positive in that, l just focussed on the fact it happened. lt could have easily been so much worse.
Sorry to hear about your cheating low life husband, and its great you could see the positive side of it. lm sure you now have a good one. See l think ld wallow and worry, l dont know when l became so negative it just seems all of a sudden l wasnt the way l used to be.
Everyone has been very inspiring and l feel better, lm going to tell my brother as well about everyones views so hopefully he can be inspired too.
Thanks again.

I think it's a great idea to do a list, sometimes seeing something in black and white really reinforces it in our minds.

And don't worry bout the low life husband, my dream man was waiting for me and luckily I was single in time, LOL :)

l guess thats one of those classic examples of good coming out of something bad, if your cheating husband hadnt of left you , you may never have met your dream man.
So glad that worked out for you, bet your glad he did leave, that was definately a cloud with a silver lining.

Have a read of this, it's really interesting and may help to explain more about how 'lucky' people operate ;)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/connected/main.jhtml?xml=/connected/2003/01/09/ecfluc08.xml

Hi Dill,
        thats an excellent article, l could see alot of me in there. The harder l look the less l see, although l do have intuition and go by hunches alot, but the biggest thing is l am anxious and it kind of causes me to focus on a single negative thing. l think after reading everyones opinions l realised what has happened.

l used to be lucky, or feel lucky, then a bout of very severe and strange bad luck knocked me for six , so to speak,  and l became anxious and a worrier and that has somehow attracted more bad luck .
So l am going to practise positive thinking, look for the good even in bad situations, make a list so l can read it and not let my mind wonder onto negative thoughts. Because l am really lucky. Right?
Thanks everyone, you have really helped put things in perspective.

I think everyone is equally 'lucky' or 'unlucky' - the difference is only in their own perception.

"Two men looked through prison bars,
One saw mud and the other saw stars."

So True, l must stop seeing the mud.
Thanks.

Richard Wiseman is a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire. His book, The Luck Factor (Century), is available for £9.99

Now I'm not really into self-help books, I've always felt they only really help the person who wrote them :-p  but this one, written by the person who conducted the study, looks like a real bargain :-D

Hi Dill,
         l feel the same about self help books, but if his article is anything to go by then l think the book would be very helpfull, l think its worth investing in a copy, it cant hurt to read it and most probably would help a great deal.
Thanks.

Hi Barghest:

I work with a charity that helps people who are, shall we say, at the 'end of their tether' and the thing most seem to have in common is a feeling of loss of control. Control of their life, their feelings, their destiny and maybe even their luck. The trick is to gain some control back in your life, starting with small things like, as many have already written, seeing the good side of things.

I suspect you have got into the habit of dwelling on insoluble problems/situations - a common habit in we humans.

Try to accept what you can't control and enjoy the things you can. Humans cannot make others do or feel what they want- the only one you control is you so if you can't control a situation accept it or walk out of it.
When a problem hits you however small, ask yourself "can I do anything about this NOW?"  If not -  put it to one side and ask yourself again the next day. If you really feel that it's out-with your power - let it go or give the problem to someone more able to cope with it. Don't fret or stew on it - let it go. This technique works if practiced often.

I've had a full and colourful life which I've enjoyed but recently a friend I've known for 30 years and I were chatting about a problem she has and she said " Oh I'll survive - look at the dreadful things that happened in your life and you coped"  To say I was shocked was an under-statement, I dont see what was so dreadful - just life stuff and everyone gets some sooner or later ........but it was how she saw it not how I lived it.
As they say " Good Luck"  now go out and make it happen   ..... you've got it within you ... we all have.   xxx

Hi Tooolz,
             wow, you really hit the nail on the head there, that exactly describes how l feel alot of the time.
l really do feel that things are often out of my control, even though l know that in most cases "control" is an illusion. l do focus too much on things that l really cant do anything about, even though l know things pass and change l do seem to have become stuck in a negative way of thinking.

l have really noticed it started three years ago when we moved and l dont know many people around here and l often feel isolated and lm often by myself as OH now has to tavel a long distance to work.
So lve found myself dwelling on things way too much and making them alot bigger than they should be.

Then on one occasion an aquaintance remarked about all the bad luck lve had, and as you mentioned, l really hadnt seen it that way at the time as l have usually been quite positive, but his comment got me thinking and before l knew it l was thinking very negatively, and the bad experiences lve had seemed to justify his comment, along with my brothers comments.

Just being able to  communicate with people on this forum has helped alot, my view doesnt seem so narrow, and having other peoples imput, in a positive way makes me feel so much better and has made me realise how isolated lve become, both physically and mentally.

lts so true, l really can only control myself and the more l fight a situation the worse it gets.
lve had some great advice from everyone, and all last night l was thinking about all the things that have happened that l called bad luck and just how much worse they could have been, but lm still here, and something always does turn up if you believe it.
Thanks Tooolz, and eveyone else for taking the time to answer my post, you have all helped a great deal.

Bless your little heart....
See - you have support mechanisms in place ( us!), you remember good times and you have family, you are a lucky girl. Now pick something you're not happy with ( something small to start with eg your hair, your garden, a friend you've lost touch with etc ) - that you can do something about TODAY and do it. Put big ones away until you've got the hang of it.
Go Girl.

Thanks so much Tooolz. lm not happy with the wallpaper in the lounge so l am going to strip it off, because that l can do. lt  will also stop me from dwelling on the future and what it may bring, (another bad habit lve formed  lately. ) l'll take each day at a time and always focus on something good, now l'll get stuck into that wallpaper.
Thanks so much everyone.

Tooolz,

What great advice :).  You're fab!

Just another little thought....
Presumably you have a dog! 

The best friends I have ever made, and I've moved around a lot, are Dog people.
Do you show your dog? If so get involved with ringcraft.
If your dog needs training get involved with a training group or maybe investigate agility ( or mini).
I dont know your situation but I guess that you're in the mind-set to be reluctant to push yourself forward at clubs so choose someone who looks more 'New' than you and perhaps offer her support.

A little tip... Dog people often wear camoflage... they look like they know what they are doing and are super-confident... dont be fooled - they are  full of issues just like you and me.

Try to let yourself be open to opportunities because as my Mother says " You die if you do - You die if you don't"  what have you got to lose?

If you find yourself looking at reasons not to do the above - slap yourself and say " look at me, I'm at it again" !!

Hi Tooolz, you make me laugh. Yes lve got a dog, he is extremely fearfull, did a post about that on the behaviour forum. There are several people around here with dogs, but most of the dogs are quite large and aggressive towards my dog and that makes his fear worse.
One woman has two greyhounds and l tried to get friendly with her but she said she doesnt like small dogs, which is what l have.
l wear camoflage, oh how funny, mainly in muddy fields and so on.

When l was at puppy classes with my dog ( he's Two Now ) most of the people there were very stuck up, l was trying to be friendly  but they were all so serious and made comments about my dog because at the time he was only as big as a guinea pig and they all had large breed pups and the whole thing was very snooty.

Although l have heard some new people have just moved into the village and apparently  they have a  tiny breed of dog so maybe l could find out who they are and maybe something might come of that.

No l dont show my dog, he has issues, you can read all about it on the behaviour forum entitled "fear and aggression". l only posted it a couple of days ago.

Thats the other reason why l really do need to be more confidant, my dog has very little confidance so l need to be strong for him. Unfortunately the people l have met around here who have dogs have them just as something to have and l wouldnt really describe them as doggy people.
l love all dogs, but the people lve come across either only like cats or a particular breed of dog and have not been very friendly.
Because my dog isnt a bouncy lick every strangers face kind of dog they all think he's a bit strange .
lf you read my post in the behaviour forum you'll see why l dont go to any more classes and have alot of work to do with him first.

l do try to speak to people with dogs when l see them but the people around here seem very reserved, maybe they are all like me.
l will keep trying though, lm feeling so much better after all the advice, and lve started on the wallpaper and l believe good things will start to happen soon.
Thanks again.

Barghest,

Don't discount ringcraft completely, it's how I socialised my dogs as little pups.  I didn't want to take them to a training class full of dogs and owners who didn't have a clue ;) to get scared by dogs and pups who had no manners with clueless owners would have made them defensive at least - so many like this where I live and mainly bigger dogs :(  so I found a ringcraft class run by people who 'know' dogs and mainly frequented by lovely doggy people who understand pups and how they need to be nurtured :)   yes there were big dogs there - a great dane pup was the biggest and a Griffon Bruxellois pup who was the smallest and most scared, but they were all given the chance to 'come out' at their own pace and watching the Griffon baby grow in confidence enough to sniff the Dane pup was magical :-D    You don't have to show to go to ringcraft ;)

Good luck with everything and remember we're all here to have a moan at or celebrate with :)

I think bad luck, is something that you make it.  For example:  I am right now sitting with a busted leg again.  Now, people say to me, if you didnt have bad luck, you wouldnt have any luck at all.  But the way I look at it is this:  I hurt my leg, which does bite.  I hate it.  BUT, there is also some positives to it as well.  I always get a seat on the bus.  I always get chairs offered to me at dog shows.  I dont have to do any harder housework.  I dont have to do suppers.  But the best thing is, I get in shape.  Hopping round for 4 weeks, I get a flat tummy, loose weight, and gain wonderful arm muscles.  You wouldnt believe the things I can lift (which is surprising for a girl).

I think you remember traumatic events more because they were traumatic and changed your life in some way.  Whether it was an accident, a death, etc, your life changes drastically because of it. 

It depends on how you look at things when you have "bad luck".  You can look at it as bad, and it bites.  Or you can look at it as a lesson, and look for the positive things out of it.  Like better arm muscles. 

LOL crespin. I like it.
As they say "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" in your case it literally makes you stronger!

Hi Dill
        l hadnt thought of ringcraft as l always thought it was only for people who were wanting to show their pups when they got older. l must admit that l  havent really met proper doggy people at all.
The people lve come across think that a shy or fearful dog is something totally out of the ordinary and they often had an attitude that made me feel worse.
Yes, clueless is how l would describe them. One of the women at puppy class was even hitting her dog because he wanted to have fun. Even people and dogs l meet out in the fields have no manners, the dogs have no recall and the humans always say the same thing "its ok, he's friendly" which doesnt make much difference to my dog if a large breed comes galloping towards him, and even friendly dogs can bite so l have to be so careful as that would be so detrimental to any chance of overcoming his fear.

l will have a look and see if there are any ringcraft classes near me, as l will try anything to help him.
Thanks so much for the encouragement, it really helps to know that people on this forum are there to help and give so much great support and information. Cant tell you how much it means to me and how much it has helped. l just wish l had of joined alot sooner instead of lurking in the background .Ha Ha.
Thanks again.

Hi Crespin, excellent, that made me giggle. l must say the busted leg sounds like it has lots of benifits.
Your right, just like everyone else, its definately the way l look at things. Since lve been reading everyones replies it has really made me see just how off track my thinking had become.
l mean not one person has said they have a miserable life and all is doom and gloom. Everyone has had their problems, some awful ones, but you are all so positive, and if that was me a few years ago l would be saying the same as all of you.
Thats another thing, if someone has a problem l can be very positive for them and point out how things could be worse, but somehow have got bogged down myself with negative thinking.
l have felt so good since reading all your posts, l wish l could give you all a hug, you all make so much sense. l have been reviewing my traumatic events and have started to look at them differently, thay happened, like  they do to so many other people, but they could have been worse, so lm lucky they werent.
lt really is just a matter of perception, thanks again everyone, your all amazing.

Sounds like you've made the first steps on the way up, Barghest! Good on you! :-)

Thanks Jeandgenie, lm going to concentrate on looking at the stars, and not the mud.

Go Girl.....

Dill is so right..... Ringcraft is full of people who's dogs are their interest and their hobby- where as people you may meet out walking often just 'have' dogs. A bit like most of us own a camera but few of us will go to a camera club! Doggie nuts like us stick together and can be found hanging out at the same places. ...hee hee.
Go be a doggie nut and you'll find great friends. The same comment applies about your first night though.... remember to sit with the Newbie- looking one and then you're less likely to find a 'stuck-up' one.

ps when I said camoflaged doggie people I meant 'normal' people disgused as super-confident folk with no problems or issues :-)

l have been reviewing my traumatic events and have started to look at them differently

Well Dont Let them go
or we'll be forced to come around and slap you!!

Hi tooolz,
             l have just been googling some ringcraft clubs in my area and there are a few, but one says they specialise in fearful dogs in the ring. So l think l will phone and see what they say.
Are you sure they will let us in even if he's not being shown, the other thing is at puppy class people took it so seriously that they would get annoyed at me and my dog because he was so anxious he often too longer to do things and the others would be impatient and wanted to get on with their turn.

When  trying to socialise a nervous dog that kind of attitude really adds to the pressure, so l wouldnt want to be in that situation again. l guess l can always try and if its no good look for another one.

Oh, l see what you mean about camoflage, DAH, l thought you meant clothing, like those people who like to wear quilted tops and wellys but live in the city. Well you can see where my brain is at.
l cant tell you how much better lm feeling, thanks again.

others would be impatient and wanted to get on with their turn.

Be prepared to be told what to do and that you may not be approaching things the right way.
Try to accept someone elses good ideas. I'm not saying that they will all be right ....but listen, respond in good faith and then decide later at home which bits to use and which bits are not for you.
There will be lots of advice from well meaning people some with more experience than others :-) try not to argue someone down if you don't agree with them just take from it what you want and LOOK for good people... best done by keeping quite and listening.
Dont get offended if you or your dog are criticised  - that is part of dog showing and although you aren't interested in that side of dog ownership, they will assume that you are.
Sometimes the toughest old nut will turn out to have the kindest heart so keep a look out. Apparently I'm scarey and bossy at classes but I'm a softey really..... so look beyond first impressions. As I've said the Dog 'Fraternity' contains some of the kindest people in the world.

Ok, well l will phone a few and see what the say. l was just wondering though if it may be a bit overwhelming for him, his fear is extreme and on the behaviour forum l was advised to go exremely slowly and l really liked the idea of sitting outside of the supermarket and just letting him observe.

lf you have time could you read the responses to my post in the behaviour section because his comfort zone is about 60 feet from people. He really is an exceptional case when it comes to fear.
l dont want to force him into a situation that he cant handle in case it puts him even further back.
Thanks.

Remember that you get cloudy nights when the stars are hidden, but it doesn't mean they aren't still there! ;-)

That makes so much sense, l guess thats a good analogy for always finding the good even if things look bad.

never aggressive when out, but he is at home.

This will probably get moved to another board but here goes.....
I read this on your other topic and was interested to see that this little guy seems to be weighed down by his fear coupled with his feeling of need to control his home environment and his humans. Big responsibility for such a little guy no wonder he is stressed. I think a radical change is called for.

In my opinion (and many will disagree on this forum) I think you should relieve him of his role of bossy boots at home, no aggression to humans permitted, no choosing who sits on the sofa, what you say goes or 'Time-out' him into another room until you choose to let him back in.
It is natural to feel sorry for a likkle, scaredy pants baby but I think he sees you as weak and no help to him in a fear situation. Show some strength by putting your foot down at home - he's probably not scared when he's growling at you to get his own way.

To answer your question, taking him to ringcraft just to watch wouldn't be a bad thing IMO. Ask if it's ok to just sit in and tell people that you've been advised to take thing very slow.
By coincidence, I judged a variety class recently which contained two ETTs both of which were were vibrating with fear on the table.They were both having so much food stuffed down their throats in such a frenzied way, the owners managed to hold them together for just long enough for me to examine them. A theme is forming!

>In my opinion (and many will disagree on this forum) I think you should relieve him of his role of bossy boots at home,

I'm no trainer,but this just makes sense.Take the responsibility/pressure away from him and he might calm down and not feel the need to control or protect.

As for the ringcraft,can you take crossbreeds along for socialisation reasons,or is it only for purebreds?

Hi tooolz,
             l would definately feel better just letting him observe. l have always thought he was trying to dominate the house and us to compensate for his fears.
The place on the couch is a favorite to everyone as its the best spot for watching tv, so as soon as l get up he jumps onto that spot, and when l tell him down he'll go to bite. Mostly he tries to bite when having things done to him like teeth etc.
When he does this l tell him no and ignore him, but sometimes he gets so worked up that sshhh is the only thing that calms his anger. Yes l do Timo Out and tell him to go in his crate. Which he does straight away.
But his role of bossy boots is extreme also, and lm finding it difficult to change this behaviour, he has been like this since a tiny pup. l have made progress but this is so much how he is.
He also is constantly begging or demanding attention, and if lm doing something, like stripping wallpaper and he's not included he will bite my shoes, pull my hair, dig my back, dump all his toys at my feet, etc.

l found your post really informative, so if you have any other tips please tell me, or maybe l should start another post in behaviour again, what do you think. 

Radical changes are needed and they should start now!
Your poor little bullied dog is in fact a bully himself!
Put him away everytime his behavior is unacceptable and dont weaken.
No pet dog should bite it's owner routinely so stop now. I know that the pattern has formed due to his Jekyl and Hyde behavior but I think you may be over compensating because you feel sorry for him with all his issues. You may be inadvertently be adding to them.
I'm imagining the scenario of you trying to 'Time-out' him and being too scared to move him..... make a loop of lead and drop it on him.... march him out to sin-bin and say nothing.... give him no attention. remember for some disturbed  dogs and Humans bad attention is better than no attention.
When you are ready let him in and lavish him with love for doing the right things ie civilised doggie behaviour..
I would expect that he will be a stubborn little nut to crack because this power is very important to him, infact seems to be ruling his little life.