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Topic Dog Boards / General / Upset
- By mygirl [gb] Date 21.03.08 21:57 UTC
Not me but my father, he is retired now and a few years ago i gave him our yorkie Mr Pickles he doesnt drive so used a mobile dog groomer however shes got cancer so has had to give it up sadly, and he rang a new one out of the local paper..

My dad held him while he was cut and when the lady asked my dad to go and get a carrier bag for the fur he left the lady holding the dog and it bit her, i have tried to reassure him that its perhaps a hazard of the job (no offence to those people with that profession) and he did give her extra money and she was totally adorable about it, but hes gone out for a pint tonight and just rang me to ask me would i come up in future and do it (its a 4hr round trip!!) obviously i visit him as often as i can but i don't want to be restricted on his dogs coats say so!!

Anyone got any more reassuring words to say to him? hes even offered to send me on a dog groomers course as he thinks i need a change in direction!!! (wheres the shocked smiley!)

His best friend has just died only 62yrs and hes 66yrs so i know hes feeling fragile at the moment i think this has just topped it for him..
- By hairypooch Date 22.03.08 00:43 UTC
Hi mygirl :)

I sympathise totally. Obviously this experience has totally put him off finding yet somebody else to do  Mr Pickles's coat in case the same thing happens again.  When people (including our parent's) get to a later stage in life IMHE, they prefer to go with 'what they do know' IE, the comfort zone. :) They also (from experience) become a bit....umm...dare I say it...selfish.

Obviously you know what you can and and can't do regarding 'dog groomer course's' and could tell him that you are far too busy doing what you do - in a tactful way of course ;-). But could he or you find a local dog groomer in his area and when she is due to call make the trip on this one occasion to his house so that you can reassure him and also explain to the groomer about the situation? As you say, he's just lost his best friend and is probably feeling a bit 'wobbly' it's turned his life upside down and he's looking for some equalibrium again. Routine seems to be the favourite rite of passage at this age and when it is upturned it causes a slight -'emotional tremor'- sometimes, all we have to do as 'children', is just put the pieces of the puzzle back into place. What I'm trying to say is, there is normally more to a 'problem' than meets the eye as I know you are aware.

I hope this hasn't come across as patronising, it's just that I have too been in a similar situation to you but over a completely different subject. I hope that you work it out to you and your Dad's satisfaction :)
- By bertsmum [gb] Date 22.03.08 06:30 UTC
maybe just your dads way of saying " i need to see YOU mor often" !!! just a thought
- By mygirl [gb] Date 24.03.08 22:27 UTC
Thank you both, its very hard at the moment as my father has been my main stay as it where and hes taught me to be totally self sufficent as he is, i never thought he would need me nor would he want me to think in that way..

Seriously misjudged this situation haven't i..... ouch
- By FooFoo [gb] Date 24.03.08 22:37 UTC
My dad is 80 in May and a widower and his dog is his life so I sympahise totally. It could be that he is missing his friend and he is in shock and wants your company and reassurance.  If his dog is his all as is my dads dog was then he will fret more and just need nurturing.  I do my dads dogs nails even though the pooch is a nightmare but is saves my dad money and he laughs at me while I try and control an 8 year old JRT that thinks he is 2.  He (JRT) is a bugger but he and I keep my dad going.

All I can say is be supportive and try to understand your dad and how he will be feeling lost as he has lost a friend and also protective of the dog who is his companion.  Its hard to loose someone who is younger than you no matter what age you are.  I was 19 when I buried my first friend and have buried several friends since, it doesnt get any easier and age shouldnt be part of it but when you loose someone younger than you it makes you think.
- By mygirl [gb] Date 24.03.08 22:56 UTC
Thank you foofoo i feel an absolute fool now as i soley looked upon the 'dog' scenario and not the bigger picture , my father is a top man i lost my mother some years back (well shes not dead but we don't speak) hes my all he really is..
- By JeanSW Date 24.03.08 23:53 UTC
Mygirl, you are obviously a very caring person.  I do hope that you can work something out that suits both you and your Dad.  I don't have anything to do with my mother, but lost my Dad a few years back.  Just love him while he's here.
- By mygirl [gb] Date 24.03.08 23:59 UTC
thank you jean having spoken to my husband i'm off up there for a few days tomorow it really didnt enter my head he needed me... special thanks to foofoo for sorting my head out and putting it so aptly... if i can help him just for a few days with company ........
- By FooFoo [gb] Date 25.03.08 23:46 UTC
I am pleased you might have siome closure as they say.  I lost my mum 10 years ago and I hate to say I didnt get on with my dad until my mum was gone, now we are best friends, I take him to shows, he helps with my litters.  Sometimes talking to someone else helps put a different perspective on things.  Afterall it will will be a long long time before some of us are in our 80's .  My dad is ace and I am currently planning his huge birthday without him knowing, he doesnt use the net so all is good.  Glad you are feeling better. xx
Topic Dog Boards / General / Upset

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