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Topic Other Boards / Foo / Parental responsibility
- By Lea Date 26.12.07 01:03 UTC
Has anyopne got parental responsibilty off a father???
No I am not taking this one lightly as If he was mentalkly capable of being a father I would not be asking as I do think fathers have rights. Bujt in this case I dont. Anbd this is after 9 years of not muich contact (I have residence order and he has had no phyisical contact ion 9 year)
So Has anyone done it???? I want to but from what I know from talks with solicitor i cant, but that was over 4 years ago.
If anyone has please can they let me know either on here or Pm.
thanks
Lea.
- By Brainless [gb] Date 26.12.07 05:31 UTC
Mine was a complete Alcoholic with dangerous behaviour, worse than ever after 10 years with no contact yet they would not stop his parental rights.
- By Jolene [gb] Date 26.12.07 08:15 UTC
Hi Lea......

If he is wanting contact with your kids again now, I'd suggest a Court order to the effects that he must have supervised visits, either at a special centre or somewhere else...................I had a Court order when my were younger to say that he could see them on a Sat every week, but his mother had parental responsibility whilst they were there ...............he liked his drink to the effect of 6 bans from driving for excess alcohol, so I didn't think he was fit to have sole care on the occasions he saw them......the Court agreed. It probably gets more difficult as the kids get older, but then surely they will have some say in this :confused:
- By Ktee [au] Date 26.12.07 08:21 UTC
As long as he hasnt physically or mentally harmed them i would think it would be very difficult to absolve all parental rights.Afterall no matter what the paperwork says or how much you wish otherwise he will always be their dad wether you like it or not. :)
You never mentioned what your kids want,i think this would play a big part aswell.If they want to see him,and he them then that will make it even harder.

What exactly has he done to them that you would want to take such a drastic step? Not seeing them enough or at all over the years would i doubt be a good enough reason for the courts.
- By Lokis mum [gb] Date 26.12.07 09:55 UTC
Lea - the law has changed over the last four years, and it may well be worth talking to a solicitor now, about the situation.

Obviously your children are now older, and what the eldest thinks would be taken into consideration by the courts now.

The law states that a father can apply to the court to gain parental responsibility and in considering an application from a father, the court will take the following into account:

the degree of commitment shown by the father to his child
the degree of attachment between father and child
the father's reasons for applying for the order

So it must be possible for a mother to have a parental responsibility order rescinded because of the lack of degree of commitment and attachment and the court will then decide to accept or reject the application based on what it believes is in the child's best interest.

Most men have the wherewithal to become a parent - but it does not necessarily make them a Dad!

We don't need to know what's gone on - you have your reasons - and 9 years of non-contact is a pretty strong one in my opinion!

Margot x
- By Lea Date 26.12.07 10:29 UTC
Obviously this a a public conference that anyone can read so I am nbot going to gho into the ins and outs of what he has/hasnt done.
I just wanted to know IF anyone had as I the lasdt time I was at my solicitor she said they cant take it off him, but that was 5 years ago.
Thankyou for replys,
Margot, thankyou I will look into it next year before My eldest goes into GCSE years of school!!
Lea.
- By LindyLou [gb] Date 26.12.07 10:57 UTC
I'm going back about 10 years in this, so things may have changed a lot. I actually had the Police Family Protection Unit, and the Social Work Department advise me to seek sole parental rights. They were willing to back me up. At the end of the day I didn't go down that route, but did stop my daughter going to see her father if I thought it was unsafe. She is now 13 (going on 50 ;) ) and spends a lot of time with her father. Speak to your kids and see what they want. I don't see how anyone can force teenagers to see a parent they don't want to. They'll just rebel.
- By munchkin21 [gb] Date 28.12.07 15:38 UTC
Hi

I don't know where you live, but this is the situation in English law as I understand it

At the time your child or children were born, a father only had parental responsibility if he was married to the mother of the child either at the time of birth or if he subsequently married the mother, even if he was named as the father on the birth certificate.  This did change in 2003 , but not retrospectively, and parental responsibility was given to a child's father if he was not married to the mother but was named on the birth certificate as the father of the child. 

The only way to take parental responsibility away from a parent is by the child being adopted through the courts ie a child can be adopted by its step parent if the necessary legal steps have been taken and social Services has completed what is called an Annexe A form (an assessment of the situation) and submitted it to the courts.  A Guardian or Court reporting officer is appointed to investigate what is in the child's best interests in this scenario, and to hopefully get the consent of the birth father (or it could be the other way round and be the birth mother in some cases).  If the court agrees, the child can be adopted by its step parent, and the birth father loses parental responsibility.  A similar but considerably more complex assesment is made when a child is adopted by two new parents, with or without the birth parents'  consent.  Other than this, a putative parent can apply for parental responsibility, and it can be legally given through the courts in various scenarios to them, and to people other than a birth parent, but it cannot be taken away from anyone who legally has a rightful claim to it as the birth father of the child if he was married to the mother prior to 2003, or named as father post 2003 if not married to the mother.

Of course there are legal routes you can take to protect your children from a violent or abusive parent, and you need to see a solicitor who specialises in family law to discuss these.  I hope this makes sense, and I fear it is not the answer you wanted!
- By Rach85 [gb] Date 28.12.07 15:58 UTC
Its just something you have to careful of tho for the future in regards to your children.

Ive seen it too many times where the mother/father has completely cut off the other parent (for good reasons or bad) only for the child to hate them for it down the line as the child realises they never had a choice when it came to seeing theire other parent and when they wanted to be with them at christmas, birthdays etc.
Sometimes the child is being told lies for reasons as why the parent wasnt around and this will deffo blow up in later life. (not saying you are in anyway shape of form!! :) )

Like said earlier I dont know whats happened and you have obviously thought it through but youre children will want to see him one day (Even if its just to give him a bollocking for not being there and get some answers) just make sure he cant paint you in a bad light for this, explain to the children what is happening step by step and why they cant see him, thats what my dad for me and I love him even more for it.
Even violent/abusive fathers and mothers are still sought out by children if they left early in their lives, like me for instance and when I see her I realised why my dad had left her after I heard the evil lies from her dirty mouth but I needed to make that connection myself, if you see what I mean?

It takes alot of courage to do what youre doing, and I hope it all goes well xx
- By Lea Date 28.12.07 21:07 UTC Edited 28.12.07 21:12 UTC
Nope munchkin21  it has made alot of sense and it has helped alot!!!
There are certain things with the residents order that meaqns I cant do certain things with them.
Well one of those things is going to cause ALOT of problems in the future, even tho I have instigated it now :( :(
Hence me wanting to take that away from him as means I would be able to do it.
He is mentally not capable of having any access to the children wthout causing them alot of pshycological problems and would never have access on his own, , and even when they are adults then I would make sure they had someone with them if they see him. Social services when I spoke to them indepoendantly said they would not agree to him having access.
I only told them the truth in ways they would understand this year, but they know nothing of the dearth threats etc I have got off him as I feel they are to young to u7nderstand and at their age it would scare them and I dont want that. They already know if the teachers tell them they are not allowed out of the building that they have to stay there and be picked up by someone instead of walking out as normal. They know enough to do what they are told, but not enough to end up gibbering wrecks :(
I have all the solicitors letters, all the corospondance from him and his mother (fits in a box file including the envelopes not much for 9 years and most are of his mum) that they can read through. And for me it makes bad reading as I have blanked out most things.
Yes I do see that at a point they will want to see him, I will never stop them doing that if they ask. But I would have like parental responsibility taken off him so I could do the best for my children,
In the future I know there will be a time when I have to take my children to see him. And at that point I will make sure I am not alone and  I have some sort of security back up. But at the moment I am thinking of my childrens academic future.
Thankyou all for your input. Unfortunatly I am going to have to work something else out :(
Lea :(
(who cvant say too much as have a feeling he may read this forum intermittantly :( or has done in the past)
Topic Other Boards / Foo / Parental responsibility

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