To all you wonderful people, it is just over a week since I had to release my Bracken, truely the hardest thing I have ever done in my life,  at the beginning of that week my sister came to stay with me, bringing her three labs, so we had 5 labs here including the two 5 month puppies, it should have been a wonderful week, then on the tuesday my sister had such horrendous pain we spent the day in casulty, then admitted her to hospital, so I have had her dogs and mine here, and been spending all day in the hospital between nipping home for dog walks and feeds, we were terribly worried as she had pains accross her chest down her arm and side, and test after test nothing was diagnosed, then on the Thursday I woke up to find bracken my poor baby had had a stroke in the night and could not move, I knew I only had one option, and as you all know we had to let her go, right after I released her I still had to go to the hospital to see my sister, I couldn't tell her, she was already worried enough as no one could find the cause of her pain, so I had to pretend all was great, even though I had just lost Bracken, she kept asking each day how the dogs were, how Bracken was doing with the other dogs, all I wanted to do was howl the hospital down, but couldn't it just would not have been fair to my sister,  Then the next day Bracken was ready to come home and I had to pick up her ashes on the way to the hospital, another awful day that I had to pretend all was normal and happy. Having no time to myself with visiting my sister, looking after all the dogs etc helped as I did not have time to sit and think about my beautiful Bracken, Finially the hospital found the cause of the problem, gaul stones, so in alot less pain, she was released from the hosptial on wednesday she was in the hospital a week, and today she has taken her dogs and gone backhome  to the mainland, it has now hit home that bracken is no longer here, all the feelings that should have come last week are here now and it is so difficult to deal with, when we lost elly in april this year, that was so hard she was just three and it was out of the blue, I thought as bracken was nearly 15 (october) that I would be able to accept it more, but no it is just as hard. I guess having expected the worst for 7 year since she was diagnosed with os, I thought I would cope better, but I guess she has been my life for 7 years, everyday Bracken came first, so life is different now and will take some getting used to I guess.

Anyway what I really wanted to say was thankyou all you wonderful people, we have had over 370 emails, messages, cards from all over the world, each one bringing on the tears, but also giving comfort too, it is hard to believe Bracken touched so many people during her life, and it is comforting that she did.  I am truely thankful she went to the bridge cancer free, it never got her, for that I will be eternally grateful, I always wished when it was brackens time to go she would go in her sleep, sadly that was not to be, but she did have a wonderful life and I am grateful for every day we had her. 

Thankyou each and everyone of you, your messages, emails, cards have been wonderful

Remember if Bracken could beat bone cancer others can too, keep fighting the fight.

Ruth x

Sometimes we have to deal with so much all at one time it seems impossible to believe that there will ever be a time when we will be able to sit back and realise that we have managed to get through it all. It is often hard to deal with one thing at a time but when you get a multitude of problems at the same time it can be so very difficult to cope with.

I wish you the strength and courage to deal with whatever life throws you and the ability to remember the good times which can so often be overshadowed by the bad ones.

Know exactly what you are going through!!

A few years ago my mum was in hospital with cancer for nearly a month.  Unfortunately my top winning Pomeranian died all of a sudden and a number of others were ill.  My dad and I had to go to the hospital each day and say how all was fine when it wasn't.  Eventually when we knew that my mum would be fine we were able to tell her.  To top it all a few days after she got home the father to Maestro was with my mum in her arms when he just put his head down on her shoulder and died.

Thinking of you at this time and glad to see that your sisters illness wasn't too serious.

Take care and start looking after yourself now!