I have been thinking about this for a while and was discussing it with Ric last night.
Recently a girl who used to bully me when I was on the way at school, including hitting me with bags etc (I was at high school she was at secondary and was 3 years older than me) I was terrified of going home on my own, and mum had to go into their school and speak to the head about it and got it stopped. Recently she Started working at the local supermarket and have often thought about going to he and asking WHY she did it!! I wont but would love to know why 17 years later LOL
She is as nice as pie to me now LOL
Also, one of mt class mates, that used to make fun of me but not bully me persai, she was one of the 'in' crowd wgich I was not, started doing supply teaching at the school my youngest goes to.
She made a comment once 'How can you have a brother so gorgeus when you are so ugly'
That comment stuck in my mind and was one of the major reasons I had a major operation to change my face which increased my confidence no end!!
She also now is a lovely women!
Now my eldest is having bullying problems and I would love to ask each of these people WHY LOl So that I can understand it from a bullys point of view why the pick on who they do!
I wont but does anyone else think like that
Lea :)

It is generally because they have issues themselves, they are jealous of you or desperate to fit in so they pick on someone weaker/different than they are.

It is a bit like with our dogs, the confident well adjusted ones don't get nto scraps, they neither feel the need to dominate others or be submissive.

Your not the only one Lea, I have often wondered what the 'bullies' at my school are doing now, and to ask them WHY they had to make my school life a misery :(
Although it is now 14ish years since I left school, it still effects me a little, sounds silly but sometimes if I walk passed a group of secondary school kids I do feel nervous as though I have gone back in time to when I was a school kid and trying not to look at them as I pass in case they 'bully me' !! LOL
I have to kick myself and say, 'hay, you are an adult now! grow up;

I am not sure of the advice I would give my boys if they was to get bullied at school, 'touch wood' my eldest at junior is a popular boy and gets on well with everyone, he wears glasses which was part of the reason I got bullied at school, but he seems to have alot of friends of different ages throughout the school.
I tell my boys to tell the teacher if someone hurts, bullies them, but my OH says for them to hit back at the bully!! I can;t win!

I was also bullied at school and around my home area by different people,i was on a bus one day and the driver looked so like one of the bullies, i asked his name, it turned out it wasnt him but i wanted to ask him why too!

I was bullied at middle school by this really tall girl who made my life a misery. When I got divorced i moved back to my home town and my children started at a local school and there she was on the playground with her daughter. I could feel my heart pounding.
One day I bumped into her and she smiled and I towered over her. I couldn't believe that this small insignificant person had made my life hell for so long.

Did she say anything to you?

I havnt run into anyone i had trouble with at school.However if i did,i couldnt help but ask.

Lea why wont you ask her?

I heard that a boy who bullied me and many others was shot only a few years after school in a drug deal gone bad.  I actually hope that is true because I think he was mentally "off" and I'm still afraid to walk past his house because what if he is home visiting his parents the same time I am?

I wont ask because I am not confident enough to just come out with it!!!!
Have had major problems with James being bullied. He is one of the kids that are kind, good and actually does his work. The sort of kid the head knows nothing about as he is good!!!!
The kid that is bullying him is on his final warning before being expelled and this was before I told them what had been happening.
I just wish I knew why bullys nully certain people.
James is one of the nicest kids you could meet (not from me, from other people!!) wouldnt hurt anyone, is brainy, and friends with everyone. And yet he still gets bullied :( :(
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Lea :(

When I was about 14 I was bullied by a group of girls in one of my classes.  It got so bad I was terrified to go to school and wanted to change schools.  My parents went to the school and it was all sorted (I also found out who my real friends were - the ones who didn't disappear on me)  I never spoke to the girls again, wouldn't give them the time of day, but 4 years later I was in the ladies at school and the tallest one, ringleader, walked in.  As usual I ignored her, and she actually asked me why I didn't like her!!!! :rolleyes:  I asked her why I should after what she'd done, and she apologised, said it wasn't really anything to do with me, her parents had been getting divorced and she was scared of losing everything.  She perceived me as having everything, family, friends, talent etc.  Strange really because my father had been made redundant and I was one of 4 children in a family who didn't have 2 pennies to rub together - we were actually a little better off on the dole   Whereas her parents had well paid jobs, she was very well dressed, had all the latest must haves and seemed so worldly :rolleyes: 

Tragic really, most of the bullies I've encountered feel the need to make others lives a misery just to make themselves feel better.  :( :(

I can't say I was really bullied at school, though there was a group of girls who used to go out of their way to tell me I was ugly, one of them in particular upset me on a daily basis.....but I'd go home and try to forget about it.  I suppose it was bullying really, emotionally, and it really did upset me.  I wouldn't have put up with physical bullying, they knew that, so I suppose they knew the 'ugly' stuff would get to me....and it did.  I'd say to Mum 'Am I Ugly'? 
Thinking about it now, I know I wasn't ugly....and certainly not beautiful, just an ordinary looking girl.  They had nothing to be jealous of.....at least I don't think they did.
There are a couple of these girls that I see occasionally when I go back home, and they're perfectly friendly nowadays.  I pass the time of day with them, but that's it.

One did say to me a few years back....'How did YOU manage to get everything you have at your age.....'  I just smiled.  I don't see any point in being nasty to them  (though I could be!!).  It's all over and done with.  I'm not interested in what made them treat me like that anymore.  But anyway....I have more than them now, and I'm certainly happier than them (Which means more than anything I may have).....comeuppance? (SP)  Maybe!

Well, James has just come in from school and the kid that is bullying him was put in isolation and been put on a 3 day suspension :D :D :D :D :D
Sorry for feeling happy aboput a kid being suspended but after ALL he has done to James he has got off lightly!!!
Lets hope when he gets back to school he will have learnt his lesson and lay off James.
Lea :) :)