OMG please can anyone help ??? i went in my 16 yr old sons room & smelt a funny smell , he looked "out of it " , drunk even ,m then i smelt it !! and found a rag laced with thinners or something he has been sniffing it. he is in coherent at the moment . i dont know what to do .  he is my baby, the youngest of 6. he seems ok , but drunk. i cant stop crying. what is he doing ? why ?

I sympathise with you. The best thing to do is speak to a professional.

Found this for you...
http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/drugs/drugs-help-and-information/for-parents/

Try not to go up the wall at him. He will need helping through this not lecturing. Find out why he's doing it (through discussion) and make him see how much it hurts you.

Good luck xx

sorry i can't help but having a 16 year old myself i can imagen how you are feeling .
hope someone will be along soon that can offer you some advice
my thought are with you and i hope you can sort it out soon x

Me too....I have a 15 year old and constantly worry - they never cease to amaze. I hope you sort this soon - I know that it won't seem like it at the moment but it's a blessing that you've caught him in the act and you can now nip this in the bud. www.talktofrank.com  - this website may help. If I can help at all, please PM me. xx

He could just be doing it because his mates are?  Is he abit of a follower?

Whatever you do don't get mad, he might need support more then being shouted at.

Found this

"The National Drugs Helpline is a free and confidential telephone helpline, offering information about drugs and drug abuse. Open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Tel. 0800 77 66 00. "

This is the only one I could find that would be open this time of night if you wanted to talk to someone.  Hopefully they would be able to answer any questions etc and what the next step should be etc.

I am really sorry I cant help with any more info but hopefully these people could??

((((hugs))))
Kerri x

Hi , called the number, spoke to a nice lady who expained the dangers of solvents and advised me to get my son to call them when effects ware off. im calling back tomorrow morning when my head clears a bit. thanks Kerri & everyone .sorry to bother you all , i just didnt know where to turn. my son has ADHD and life has been a stuggle throughout his school life, i truly thought he was getting there , & gonna be ok and now this....... :rolleyes:

Poor you and your poor son.  I know a lady who has 3 of 5 children with ADHD, the 4th child she is convinced also is on the spectrum but hasn't had her tested because it is so mildand the child manages it very well. From that lady's experience it seems that not only can the sufferers symptoms vary in severity but the symptoms themselves can cause the sufferer to behave in different ways.  Not only that but the drugs that are prescribed (Ritalin) have their own side effects.

I don't know if any of this applies to your son but this lady said of her children that one of her ADHD children gets dreadfully depressed.  They are having to deal with constant internal conflict because they grow to know that their behaviour is often wrong but they have such a struggle to control it. The behaviour that is typical to ADHD, I suppose, often masks what the child is going through emotionally.

I do hope your son listens to you and accepts some professional help.  Hopefully, this phase is a cry for help.
Good luck tomorrow

As someone who was taht teenager once (albeit not with adhd although i claim living with my sister who did have adhd although in those days it was called 'your mother is a mental whinger go away')....

I got a bloody awful headache and got a rollocking for being stupid....

Not saying this is the greatest advice in the world, but - if you act like this is the hugest deal in the world then it will be (and yes i am fully aware of just HOW dangerous solvents and indeed any drugs can be)...

There is a chance that if you bite back the 'omg swear panic freakout' and give it a bit of 'oh you muppet.... would you like to talk?' you may get further.

Obviously, you know your child and i do not, but i DO know as a f'd up pain in the backside depressed attention seeking teenager, having people go off scale about everything (which of course at 14 in my case, was SO not an issue cos like 'everyones doing it' and 'its no big deal!'), just made me MORE determined and of course made it completely apparent i could demand attention (even if i didnt want it personally but did want to make everyone flap around like headless chickens), and succeed quite easily.

Fortunately one of the very very few things my mother (oh and thats another story indeed) got right was when she discovered i smoked cannabis, was to go 'well its illegal and if you get caught doing that in public or buying it, on your own head be it - id rather you smoked it in the house where its safe if you must' (believe me that wasnt said in a nice way it was said in that hissy scary 'you stupid child i may shortly bury you under the patio' way)....

Because she did that and didnt go OMG MY CHILD DRUGGY, i didnt really see much point - yes i continued to use drugs of various natures but (and im talking cigs, lighter fuel, cannabis, alcohol, not smack or coke or e or speed etc)..... in a much more controlled way, there was nothing to be gained from the 'wind up the parents, see them explode' angle, and i very VERY quickly sussed out there wasnt much to be gained from the supposed 'hey maaaaaan drugs are coooool' angle either.

IF you can make sure as best anyone can that it is made very clear that drugs are not the solution and other methods may prove much better, then my advise is to definately not freak out.

Its nearly 14 years since i as that teenager and im not dead, im not a junkie - ive dealt with my issues and these days i dont drink, i rarely smoke anything dodgy (if i do its because I feel like it having evaluated the situation, in exactly the same way as 99% of the users of this forum decide to have a glass of wine or not, and not because anyone thinks i should or makes me!), my only real vice is cigs (which at 15 i declared id never smoke )

My sister still struggles with her ADHD (shes now 26) but again shes never had any treatment for it so she would. She is also not a messed up junkie, considering she spent most of her formative years with my anally retentive father who never discusses anything and has the observational skills of a slug, i think thats pretty good going.

I reckon your son will be fine with your support - just dont forget you are NOT alone, this is not some personal hell reserved only for you, others have been there and come out the other end.

Hope my rambling is helpful, if not discard! :)

You weren't bothering us at all!

I'm glad you rang and they were able to help.  How is your son this morning?  Let us know how you get on.  Maybe like others have said, it was a cry for help so hopefully the helpline can talk him through what he did and why and perhaps work out something out for the future.

Kerri
x

misstyko can you get him involved in something like the Army, Air or Sea Cadets something to give him a focus.

No doubt he is doing this because his friends have been doing it, but as you know it is sooooo.. dangerous.

It's the worst years for them to go off the rails, find him an interest, get him involved in something to keep his mind off more unsavoury things, I know ADHD is difficult but find him something structured, the cadets usually are two evenings a week, plus weekends with camping, rock climbing, so, so, many things of interest to do and keep a teenager occupied under close supervision and teaching respect and more importantly comerardary (sp) and team work, do you think his ADHD (I know there are different levels) would be workable to do something like this?

The worst times with teenagers, (no matter what their problems) is when they have no interests, clubs or hobbies to fall back on, then they can get in with the wrong people and do silly things.

I'm afriad I am a very strict though very loving mother, if I ever caught my sons doing anything like that they would be completely grounded and only allowed out with my supervision and to places I ok'd, the friends involved would be soooo out of my sons life, I would take away all their rights and search their rooms thoroughly until they proved to me that they were going to be sensible and mature. But that is me and the way I work I know others would disagree.

What a terrible worry for you, I think I would have gone white with shock, let us know how things turn out.

I have no children and therefore cannot help in any way. I just wanted to say, 'how awful for you'. That ( and a few more things) has got to be every parents worst nightmares. Hope you manage to talk to him and get him straightened out.

thanks everyone !! Theemx , you have had me ROFLMAO !!! thanks ever so much for your imput !! i must say, things dont seem as bad this morning. i have rung HARCAS and spoken to another lady there , who is comming to meet my son, on his own and speak to him. she said her approach is to talk about how to be safe with drugs ,and then the dangers and the affect it can have on his life. luckily she understands ADHD, and can tell him how much worse it can be for him. my 5 older children have all spoken to him , too, telling him how proud we are of him and how much they all love him ,and how they dont want him to ruin his life. we have had tears & sorrys . My son has his first interview next week , so hopefully , he will get the job & this will turn out to be a stupid experimental mistake !! i am so suprised that the lady from HARCAS , told me that "they" can sniff anything from under the sink in an aerosol to deodorant !! what a world we live in :rolleyes:

i know what you mean Carrington, my son has been at bording school for the last 5 years, where every evening was spent bowling, quasar, go carting, football , canoeing etc, he just came home at weekends ,and now hes been at home for 4 weeks as hes left school, and has "nothing to do " all day !!! i suppose from a structured regime , this must be ever so boring !!! i will talk to him about an outside hobby , thankyou for your suggestion