got our beautiful new terrier pup home on Saturday and she is a joy. However she is like my little shadow, if I leave a room and shut the door she howls & yelps until I come back in, even if I am out for a few seconds. If I leave the door open she follows me. On the first night I was full of resolve, we settled her into her bed calmly and then left the room. Minutes later she was making the most unbelievable noise for such a small dog. I sat it out for about 30 minutes but couldn't leave her so ended up going down and sleeping on the sofa. Same thing happened last night. Today is not so bad, she seems to be a bit happier to be left now that we are not keeping her in one room but letting her have the run of downstairs. What should I be doing? What am I doing wrong or am I expecting far too much?

aaaw - you have a baby that is in a strange place with strange people and no familiar things around her. This is all very very normal. Be patient and consistent and she will calm down eventually - ie within a few nights. It takes time for a puppy to settle in - some seem to do it overnight - others can take a lot longer, but as you are only on day three - I wouldn't worry.

While she is so young - I would restrict her to one room unless she is with you. You'll find she'll suddenly realise she's got teeth and that floors make nice toilets and before you know it she'll have ruined the whole area. Restricting their area when alone helps them calm as well.

Do you have a crate for her? If so - with careful encouragement - you can make that a safe place for her to be during the night and for very short periods during the day. Alternatively - have you thought about a puppy pen for when you have to leave her. That helps save the house too.

Enjoy your baby

Pam n the boys

we do have a crate but have not really started using it yet, will begin to introduce her to it. Should I be praising her and giving her a little treat when I come back into the room if she has not made a fuss, should I do the same if I pop out or does that make too big a deal of leaving and returning? I might try and settle her down with a hot water bottle tonight and see if I can try and ignore her heartbreaking crying. Thanks for your words of advice, there is so much to learn and I want to get a good balance of being kind and patient but not letting her rule the house. If you or anyone else can offer any further tips or point out things I am obviously doing wrong then I would be really grateful.

A great book to buy is "A Perfect Puppy" by Gwen Bailey. It's full of really useful advice and is clearly written.

It's available from most book shops and Amazon.

Good luck with your puppy - it does get better :)

Fiona
x x x

Out of curiousity I did a search and in the past year between us we have reccommended The Perfect Puppy 17 times. Does anyone know Gwen Bailey don't you think we should get commission? :-D
Anne

:)

What I did find helpful was putting up a baby gate inbetween the doors so Molly could see where I was all the time but feel safe in her own space. It did help when I first re homed her? Your wee baby will be fine. Good luck

Julieann and Molly

I was going to say that my pup followed me around the house for the first few days, but, thinking about it - he still does!! He has never liked being left in a room on his own but will now tolerate it for short periods.
As Julieann says, a baby gate (or puppy panels) can be very useful to put across an open door. That way she would know you were still around - and while she was quiet you could tell her, from say, the hallway or another room that she was a good girl. If you don't return to her while she's crying she should gradually learn that making a noise won't get you to come back to her. Hope this makes sense.
Joyce

Hi Mooley
We have the same problem at the moment...little baby, very insecure , taken from mum and litter mates to a place she doesn't know.She follows me everywhere, cries when I go in another room just the same as your baby.I do take mine to bed though as with 5 others.I find the best thing to do is put her in the kitchen or where ever is her space, give her some toys..a chewy and go out for 15 minutes...she'll cry and howl the place down but she will get used to you leaving her and coming back. :) Anything for a quiet life eh ? :)

Tracey

thank you all! We really want to keep her downstairs as we have two very un-happy cats at the moment who are sleeping on our bed. I wondered if I had made her worse by going down to her 2 nights running and staying with her, I do have the book 'The Perfect Puppy' and other bits and bobs that I have read say that you should try to ignore but it was just too hard. I'll give it another go tonight and am trying to spend a few periods of time away from her durning the day as well so she becomes used to it. She is a real sweetie and its so hard not to just scope her up and take her upstairs but I will be strong!!

My parents relented when their cocker cried at night and brought her upstairs into their room in a crate. She stopped crying but it was nearly 10mths before they could get her to sleep downstairs by herself!!

The dogs snoring and shuffling around drove my mum mad :D

Fiona
x x x

I had my new puppy yesterday and brought home a very large pink elephant with him! The breeder is a friend of mine so I am sure she's done it to wind me up lol but Louis loves his teddy and was happy to go to bed in a his dog box with his pink elephant and not a peep out of him all night.

He had to travel home with his prospective wife who is 3 weeks older than him so I am sure he was a lot happier with his teddy than her taking up all the room in there.

I have just figured out why my lounge floor is soaking since he got here yesterday - he paddles when he wants a drink wonder if he thinks he's gonna get better water if he digs a bit?

"he paddles when he wants a drink wonder if he thinks he's gonna get better water if he digs a bit?"

My Lab pup LOVES to do this! :D After a few attempts at trying it in the drinking bowl indoors she learnt that THAT was a big no-no, so I now give her the washing up bowl full water outside and she digs for England! Mind you, she still gets water all over the kitchen floor just by drinking, she walks away from the bowl with water pouring from her mouth. Sorry, back on topic now...

I used a baby gate across the kitchen door when she was small, she could still see us and settled down quietly.

The first week I slept in snatches of about 2 hrs. I'd set up Nikki's crate in my room so she wouldn't be lonely, but she wouldn't settle. In the end I'd sit on the floor and she'd crawl into my lap. When she fell asleep I'd pop her back in her crate and she'd be fine. We're happily past that stage now. She'll still cry a bit if she's not ultra sleepy, but will settle down in 5 mins usually.

thanks, I'm sure its going to be short lived but its hard to see that far ahead at the moment. How long do they usually take to settle into the home and feel safe to sleep alone? There is no way I am going to start bringing her upstairs so at the moment if she is too loud I'll go down to her. Bless her, in every other way she is a little angel.

mooley, I'm the original softie. Even with pups I've bred, for the first ten days or fortnight alone, the pup spends all its time with me, and we sleep together in the spare bedroom (and often the spare bed together). OK, so it flies in the face of all the advice, books etc, and someday it may fail - but it hasn't yet!

I would do that but we are trying to keep her downstairs, hence why when it gets too bad I would rather go to her than bring her up, is this a mistake? She also gets really upset if she is awake and I go upstairs during the day, I think she has just discovered her bark and intends to use it!

Please someone reasure me that no puppy will keep this up for ever, or might she!?

Mooley

She will keep it up for as long as it gets her what she wants - ie - you!! :D

If she is barking for you - ignore her unless she is quiet then give her lots of praise. It can be really difficult though. Some people find that stair gates work so they dog can hear or even see you but not get to you - could be worth a try. I have a problem with one of my boys at the moment where praising him is really hard. When he is walking nicely and not pullilng - you say "good boy" and that's his cue to jump up and pull again as he gets excited!! So you may need to watch that giving her the attention does not encourage her to bark etc. Dog's - who'd have them - oh that's right we all would:D

hth

Pam n the boys

Don't want to disagree with Pammy, but I suspect what she needs is you at present. Later you will have a hooligan adolescent who won't come back for any inceentive :-). Can understand about the upstairs, but in my experience its not a problem. At this age they very quickly learn thaat whaat was allowed isn't now. Alas later things get more difficult :D

Sharon

I don't disagree with you - but if a person is adamant about not wanting their dog upstairs then by going down to them you are giving them what they want which is you. Providing the puppy gets lots of attention during the day and learns that the owner is going to come back, she'll be fine - it all comes down to the will-power of the owner imho.

My boys both sleep upstairs in our room in a crate and have done from the off. I don't want them shut downstairs in the kitchen away from us - but then I allow them to come all over the house with me - each to their own:)

Pam n the boys

We would let her upstairs but at the moment we have 2 cats who are rather freaked out by this strange little animal thats getting all the fuss. The cats sleep on our bed and I really don't want to turf them off. I'm sure she'll get there in the end and after all she is just a baby, I just want to do everything I can to stop bad habits from forming.

I had the same problem as we have cats an we didnt want to upset them, so for the first week I slept downstairs with Nellie, some people think it was a bit extreme. But it really worked for me, I really feel it helped us bond and I have never had any seperation anxiety at all with her. I put it down to being there when she needed me and now she trusts me and accepts any thing I do is right. I might be wrong but it did work for me.

we had the same problems with crying at night, but luckily on the third night peace and quite, Blade is fine now, I agree with the others strange house, strange people missing mum and brothers and sisters but they get over it very quickly, do not go to him straight away leave it longer each time, he then nows that you are going to come back. i also put up a baby gate between the kitchen and the dinning room so he is quite happy to sit and watch me through it while i am cooking 'well, I thought it was a little dangerous him sticking his head in the oven each time i opened it' the gate is a great help.

Well I had a better night last night, the crying and howling was much more half hearted and there were longer gaps of lovely quiet where she had obviously fallen asleep so we managed to leave her all night with out going down to fuss her.

Thank you all for your help and words of support, its been a real comfort to come here and talk to you all. I'm sure I'll be back, and in the mean time if you think of any other things that could help her settle then please do tell.

x

I got my black lab pub (Holly) on sunday and so far she has been exactly the same as your pup if we leave her alone, it's absolutely heartbreaking listening to her crying etc (and it seems to be getting louder every time!) but we have read in so many books, articles etc that it's best to leave her until she stops and then go back and praise her. However it's so hard to know if you're doing the right thing!! :(

It is like having a new baby at home for the first time isn't it? You read all the books and listen to all the advise and get stuck somewhere in the middle :)

I think you should listen to your instincts and do what you feel is right for you and the pup ...

Melody :)

I know, and she's absolutely adorable :) I really hope she does calm down in the end though because I'm a piano teacher, and while I'm teaching I put her upstairs in the puppy pen, my main worry is that she's going to continue to make a real fuss when I leave her alone and it will end up disrupting my lessons :( I put her in there with lots of toys etc to try and keep her occupied and leave the radio on at a low volume to keep her company (I've read this also helps) but when she's left alone at the moment, even for 5 minutes, she makes it sound like her whole world has come to an end! Mind you, she doesn't mind if she's tired when we leave her, our nights so far have been fine, she only makes a fuss when it gets light in the morning and soon settles down again.

You could always get a crate, which will come in very handy in the car or on trips away. when you are giving lessons she could stay in her crate in the room with you. :D

That way she can see you and settle, and she will be happy as she can see you.

Thanks for all your responses, they are much appreciated! I have been reading this board for a while now, in preparation for the new arrival, and I am very impressed with all the good advice and support that people give :)

Some good news: I had two piano lessons yesterday afternoon, and for the first one I put Holly in her puppy pen as usual, I made sure it was a while before the lesson. She made a fuss for a while but then quietened down, so I went back and congratulated her, then went away for 5 mins (she was quiet this time), and went back and praised her again. The lesson went really well, not a sound from Holly, and we had a nice game afterwards so she was happy! Then I put her back in the pen for the second lesson, and not a sound from her this time!! Also last night she didn't cry at all! :) and this morning when my husband and I were getting dressed I put her in the pen and she didn't make a sound! So I think we have already made progress!!

I'm the same as you, Pam. In fact it's me that suffers from separation anxiety when I'm not with my two :D

Hi

I always find useful if you put a piece of your old clothing that you used to wear... they will recognise your scent and may help to settle her.
Good luck