Now I know that CD is primarily a dog board, but I find that there is so much varied experience shared by the various members, that I now usually come to CD as a first port of call with any sort of query.

This is a sad one:  one of the ladies I work with has a daughter who is just 15, and who has in the last three months, got her first part time job, working as a restaurant evenings and weekends.  Now I'm not too sure if the law regarding late night working has changed, but she is asked to work late (until 1am often) - and especially in the run up to Christmas.  

This in itself is not a great problem - at the moment.    What is the problem is that she has become friends with a girl whos father is the steward of a local football club - ie a drinking den - and is going there, and being allowed to get completely and utterly drunk.   According to her mother, there is no point in going to the police because - and this is serious - the police drink in this particular bar and would therefore disregard any complaint made :(

Her parents have gone in and physically carried her out - her mother says she has never been so embarrassed in her life - and now the daughter is threatening to go to Social Services to say she is being beaten up by her parents:rolleyes:   Part of me says that parents should go to Social Services, but another part says that it will depend upon the quality of the Social Worker assigned as to whether this will be a good step or not. 

Any suggestions I can pass on will be greatly appreciated.

Margot

>According to her mother, there is no point in going to the police because - and this is serious - the police drink in this particular bar and would therefore disregard any complaint made<

Is that just her 'feeling' or has this been proven to be the case?
Speaking as one who works in the Force (albeit Metropolitan) This would be taken incredibly seriously and investigation would follow, the 'Queens shilling' is taken by these officer and they are obliged to act in this instance.

Perhaps she would feel more comfortable going to a divisional headquarters to report this rather than a local station...But report she must!

She should also report this to Trading standards as it contravienes the new clauses in the 2003 licensing act.

p.s Margot, Regarding her job
It is an offence under the new 2003 licensing act for her to be on the premises between midnight and 5am even if it is not used exclusively or primarily for drinking purposes ( so things like hotel lounges with a small bar, resteraunts with small bar etc..)

Yes and now it is more in the hands of the local Council than the Police since the new laws came into force :)

Margot tell your friend to get in touch with them and also the Police and state that under age drinking is going on and I am sure they will take notice ;)

It also sounds like there maybe something more going on if she has accused them of beating her and think that she may have got into something that she needs to be got out of asap ;)

Lucy
xx

Gracious....I am dreading my daughter becoming a teen as I know how dreadful I was!
Can she be persuaded to quit the job and get something else?
The police thing is tough as HG points out it must be sorted,the licensee is totally out of order allowing her to drink and deserves to lose his license. At 15 she may appear to be a lot older but is still a child!

Also 15 year olds are not allowed to work more than two hours per school night and no more than five hours on Saturdays (not sure about Sundays).  Also under 18's are not allowed to work past a certain hour, and not allowed to do night shifts.

If she were my daughter she would not be going there, the police would do something about it, just because they drink there does not mean they know how old she is and even if there are some bad apples in the force who would turn a blind eye, it will only be a small minority so yes, I would report it.

Why are social services being brought in at all? If she were my daughter she could threaten all she liked I would not let her out. She should not be working those late hours either, pretty sure it is illegal until she is 16.

Why do so many parents run scared all the time, she is being allowed to get away with murder, do they want her to be a teenage mum, raped or worse and led down the wrong pathways, I know if she were my daughter and had been given the chance to work and show responsibility and had now blown it, she would be back home with full supervision from me by now, she would only go where I took her and dropped her off and if she screwed up even then, she would stay at home, study and play board games until mature enough to trust and there wouldn't be a darn thing she could do about it.  I would not back down to her behaviour.

Their daughter needs protection, a parents job is to bring up our children to teach them and keep them safe until they are adults, she is not an adult and the parents need to continue doing their job, bring her home forget the job and take charge of their daughters life again, no matter how much mouth she has, it's better than ending up.............

Tell them to take control of her Margot before it is too late.

Mine would get a bat around the backside..no mistake! I don't believe in 'beating' children per se...BUT there are limits to accepted behaviour...what she is doing is beyond that limit in mho...whose house is it? who sets the ground rules? She either needs a firm hand or psychiatric help!  Both of my children, now 24 and 26, one an officer of the law! the other a busy mom to 3 kids, were bought up to respect MY house, I paid the mortgage and kept a roof over our heads when their father stopped paying maintenance :rolleyes: so I was in charge, they did things I wanted them to, or obeyed my rules to PROTECT them, not to inhibit them! The same way the 10 Commandments were handed down by God, not to deny them anything, but to protect them and keep them safe, all the best, Dawn

Whoever is serving her drink is breaking the law.  This would be my port of entry.  My daughter and her friends got drunk on a bottle of vodka the age of 14.  She and her friends bought this before going to a night club (14-17 yr olds night).  I was phoned at home by youth workers.  I marched into the night club in baggy jogging bottoms and baggy fleece (maximum embarrassment effect, tit for tat but you've got the right) asking anyone I recognised where she was.  Daughter wasn't actually drunk although had been drinking.  Her friends were in bad way though, one was checking out the bottom of a bucket and the other was out cold on the toilet floor and rushed to hospital.  When I found out that the local off-licence had sold them the drink I was straight on to Trading Standards and they took the matter very seriously indeed. 

The drinking laws with respect to age are there to protect and need to enforced.  At the very least the club needs to be reported to Trading Standards before your friend's daughter or another youngster ends up in hospital.

If I could count the times I threatened to phone the NSPCC becauses mum wouldn't let me out one night, I'd be rich!  Never ever did it.  I knew I had it too good really!

I think it is an empty threat.  Perhaps a little explaination of what it is like to be in care, especially round this time of year might disuade her.  I'm sure they wont be having as nicer Christmas as she will, not that Social services don't try their best!

Even if she did call them, I'm sure social would make a pretty swift conclusion that there is no need to worry and stop wasting their time on a bratty teenager and try to help a child that really needs it.  It is just a teenager rebelling and I know how hideous I was, and I got through it! My friend is a social worker and she certainly wouldn't see this as crisis moment.  Just some guidance needed really.

Give her a stern talking to and perhaps tighten those boundaries.  Why is she allowed out if she can't be trusted?  These things need to be addressed and she needs to learn what is appropriate behaviour at her age.

ooh puts me right off having kids, it does!

>I was phoned at home by youth workers.

Cheryl just curious,but how did the youth workers have your home phone number?Do the kids need to leave their details at the door of these disco's? :)

No, the youth workers and bouncer would not let her leave the toilet area.  Daughter had to give them her home telephone number.