I really don't know where to start.

I lost Whiskey my beloved dog 2 weeks and 2 days ago and I am so depressed. I can't sleep, I drop off from exhaustion I think but wake up over and over again.
I have other dogs so am busy during the day but they don't understand why their mum is suddenly in floods of tears.
I keep telling myself he wouldn't want me to be crying over him, we had a great 11 1/2 years together, he was 13 when he left us.

I've had everyone saying their different things the best one was
NOTHING I SAY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER BUT I'M SORRY
the worst
BUT YOU HAVE LOADS MORE DOGS

Whiskey was my first dog and this is the first time I have ever experienced death even though I am in my thirties.
I just feel like my whole world is falling apart and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
I have a puppy here now aged 10 weeks from my latest litter a great show prospect but I am letting her go as I just can't cope with her. It just feels wrong to have a pup here at the moment.

How do i begin to cope with the loss of my gorgeous boy?

I can say been there & had that terrible feeling that a big part of my life had just disappeared, two years ago within ten weeks I lost both my Border Collies & had i not had the Cavaliers I would not be here now. I've had dogs for over 48 years & yet had never felt as bad as I did whne I lost the boys.

It really does get better as time goes on, but it will always hurt somewhat. I still get upset when I think of any of my dogs that are no longer here, until I remember how many good times we had together

I think Kipling summed it up best in the Power Of The Dog

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie -
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find - it's your own affair -
But...you've given your heart for a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!);
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone - wherever it goes - for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart for the dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:
For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long -
So why in Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Hi everyone.

Just to say a big thankyou to all who replied to this message.

Just a quick update....................... some of you said about lots of different ways to honour Whiskey and to help with the grief.

Well I have done a rainbow bridge page for him on my website. Lots of tears whilst doing it but we got there eventually.
For anyone who would like to see Whiskey the address is :

Things here have started to get back to normal a little and I at least can sleep now and eat. Still find it hard to talk about him if friends bring him up in conversation but I'm getting there. Also started to remember some good times together such as when i used to try to put his lead on to go for a walk and he would be so excited he would bounce up and down and hit the top of the door frame!!! Or when he used to lull the vets into a false sense of security and then when u saw them relax he would snap (he was muzzled ) but it still used to make them jump.:
He used to also get hold of the hose pipe and spray everyone with it. He was such a gorgeous dog and it is now nice to start remembering the wonderful years we spent together.

Thankyou all so much for all your help.

Mod : Website url edited out. Please pm dogcrazy666  for info

Just had a look at Whiskey on his Rainbow Bridge page and it is a lovley tribute for a gorgeous boy!

What a character he was - I love the way he lulled the vet into a false sense of security

I'm really pleased you are feeling a bit brighter and life is getting back to normal for you :)

Hope you don't mind me asking but did you decide to keep the puppy?
  
Maria 

Hi

No the puppy went off to a wonderful couple to start a new life. I was upset when she went so i guess i really did love her, however I still feel it was the right decision.

I have a litter due December from one of my girls whom my parents had taken up to the stud dog onwer to be mated. It turned out that she was mated at the exact time that Whiskey passed away. People have said that is awful to keep a pup from this litter BUT I feel completely different and although I will always remember when these pups were conceived I feel completely the opposite and will be keeping a puppy from the resulting litter. Hopefully it will be a good one!!!

My present cocker was concieved just as my first one passed away.  I have always felt something good about that connection :)

I also plan on making one last trip to Plymbridge with Whiskey (or at least his ashes) and scatter them there in his favourite place. 

Any chance of putting the website for Whiskey on your profile please?  Didn't get a chance to look before your link was removed. 

It is done and rainbow bridge can be accessed from the mainpage on the right hand side.

Thanks for that.  I've just been looking and what a lovely boy he was.  Thank goodness he had such a good home with you after a terrible start in life and I can understand the close bond between you - must have been very special.

I wish you lots of joy with your new puppy.

Wow that had me in tears.  Have not seen the Gods garden one before.  Super website.

Well hun at first you don't, I think a lot of us have been exactly where you are right now, speaking for myself I cried none stop for days, I had never felt such a hole in my heart it is the first time I understood that phrase having a broken heart, there is no feeling like it, it is like loosing a child for those of us who love our dogs like family, don't try to stop the pain, just let it flow, cry until you are dry, the only words of comfort I can offer having been there is it truly does ease with time, you won't be able to love the pup right now you are in grief and your heart is too empty, but you may regret letting this pup go later if she is truly of show potential, can anyone take her on for a while?  Showing will give you a focus for the future.  The pain will cease week by week and then you have the memories which are always with you.

You are going through a natural process, you need to cry and feel sad and empty, the feeling will pass and ease with time. I am lucky that I could bury my boy in my mum's garden, so he is always there and I never forget him. But a much loved photo, painting or anything that reminds you of him is helpful in still feeling him here with you.

Many of us here will know exactly how you are feeling. I send you a big (((hug)))) and I'm sure he is looking down on you now, if it helps talk to him and tell him how much you miss him, and perhaps in a few weeks time you will remember the joy you brought to each other not with sadness but with a smile.

I feel for your sad loss and the obvious misery that you are going through.
Losing a pet or person that you love is something that you never get over but with the passage of time you will be able to think and talk about Whiskey more and more often without crying.  Some days will be better than others, you are not alone in feeling like this.  I have found that keeping busy is the best way to cope especially rigorous exercise.  You could also try when you are thinking about him to concentrate on very happy memories, things that happened which made you laugh.  In time try not to think of what you have lost but what you gained from having your boy, which must have been very special.  As for the puppy I feel it's not wrong to have it there, you could try and talk about Whiskey to her while giving her lots of cuddles .

It took me 3 years to learn to cope with the death of the first dog that I lost and it has taken at least 3 for one of my others. All I can say is that it will eventually get easier but it will take as long as it takes. Just treasure the moments that you had with him and look at the good times. How about doing a permenant memorial for him. I had a metal plate engraved and put it on a tree where my dogs ashes were scattered for everyone to see. That helped me a lot.
Becky

My beloved Rott bitch died in 2002 from cancer. Everytime I see her grave, I sit and cry. My CKCS died in 2004 2 months after my Neapolitan Mastiff had to be put down. They are all terrible times, lots of tears and an overwhelming feeling of grief and loss.  Time does heal the pain eventually, the tears slow and you move on. Just remember the love you gave to each other and that he must have felt very special. You will get through this although it does not appear so at the moment. Keep busy and love your other pets just as much!!

bless you,   xxx

My Cav died in March this year he was my world nothing could help it hurt so much I lost interest in a lot I had kept reptiles for several years and I rehomed them all I worked extra hours cos home really wasn't much fun I would urge you not to rehome the puppy yet you may well regret it later as I did my snakes.  Charlie was my best friend and I miss him very much even now I hate that he isn't with me it really isn't fair we had been through so much together being homeless twice and the pain I feel over him is physical it hurts day by day you get more able to cope but after 7 months I am still not over him I don't think I ever will be totally, but you learn to cope I have lost my Dad and grandparents when it happened the pain was so bad I thought I would never get over it but one day you wake up and you don't feel the need to cry.  A few months after Charlie died my husband took me to see a Cavalier pup who needed a home I felt physically sick going to see her I didn't know how I would cope Charlie was a beautiful big cav boy when we got there she was a scrawny little girl she looked nothing like Charlie and she helped when we got her home she was in such a state worrying about her took my mind of Charlie a little.  Everyone is different and we all grieve differently but now is not the right time for you to make any big decisions you will find something that will help you cope if you need a shoulder to cry on I would be happy for you to send me a message as I am sure a lot of others would be.  My thoughts and prayers are with you it is hard to believe now but it does get easier.

I put photo's up on the wall of ones that have passed over & talk to them it helps me to deal with the greive.I know what you are going though at this moment in time in Sept i lost Bonnie one of my Cavaliers.

I got very depressed after I lost two in quick succession, had the waking and mind working over time thing, and very few people understood.

My non doggy family were actually pleased that I had gone from five to three, and asked why I didn't rehome the oldest and keep to just two!!!

It does get easier with time is all I can say.  Keeping busy with the other dogs does help most.

I know how you feel, I have never experienced sadness like I did when I lost my first dobermann. I just couldnt come to terms with it, he was only seven and it was a vets error but even with that aside, I know how painful it is. I actually wrote a poem about him a year or so later which was published and my daughter read it for the first time last year. She never knew Max but was in tears by the end. Sometimes writing your feelings down can help - I couldnt speak about him for weeks and weeks and then all of a sudden I wanted to talk about him to someone.
A guy I knew also  had a dobermann and he knew I was having a rough time after losing mine. He actually brought his dobe over to me and asked me to hold her while he went to get something. He didnt give me the chance to refuse and he was gone for quite a time....when he came out he just smiled at me and that really did help in a wacky sort of way!
Its a horrible time for you but you have to remember the happy times - and the silly times - You will move on but you will never forget.

I'm sending you big ((((((HUGS))))))) and the courage to get through this time. NOTHING helps, just cry as much as you want, you've had a bad loss.
Your old friend will always be in your heart, and you will never forget him.

Your new little puppy needs all that love and time, and will bring a spark of joy into every day...

You will always remember the loss of your first dog, sometimes over any other.  I can tell you the date and year that I lost my first girl and the heartache was unbelievable, I knew for the first time what it meant to say your heart was broken.  Please try to remember the good times and the many pleasurable days he gave you and the unconditional love. Grieve, why not, there is plenty to grieve about. Your other dogs will fill the gap that is left. Don't do anything hasty at this moment in time when you are not at your best.

Its never easy at all to get over the loss of a dog but your first dog is  harder I can still fill up when thinking of my first Labrador Vicky I lost her in 1990 I was so distraught I made myself ill it took a long time to be able to laugh at the things she did instead of crying.
Sending Hugs to you and  try when you feel sad to write it down sometimes it helps. xx

2 weeks is no time at all since you lost your beloved dog and what you are feeling now is absolutely normal. I was astonished at just how comprehensively I fell apart when Bob died 3 years ago and it was a good while before I could be trusted to think about him without the tears flowing. Even as I write this, I daren't look up at the shelf where his collar has lived ever since that dreadful day.

I often think that we are expected to keep our grief in some sort of unrealistic proportions when we lose a beloved dog and should thus "get over it" and get on with things. And sure, life must move on but there's always going to be a part of our heart that remains with our lost doggy companions and that's how it should be I reckon.

If you don't feel you can cope with your new pup right now don't beat yourself up. But having her to care for might be just what you need right now.

warmest wishes
xxx

dont give up on the pup yet,here is a peom my friend wrote

Yours Forever

I thought I saw My future Mum she came and looked at me
I knew she liked me very much 'Cos it was plain to see.
I saw her tears I heard her say,her dearest friend had died
she said she used to look like me,and then she cried and cried
I knew that I could help her,I knew we could be friends
i would devote my life to her,I'd try to make amends
For all the Hurt she's feeling now,as everyday goes by
I never could replace her friend I wouldnt even try.
Each one of us is different,we all need love and care
Our Lives are short but dont be sad just love us whilst we're there
And just because I'm going to die in maybe thirteen years
Please dont deny a life for me cos your afraid of tears
Just love me and take care of me-enjoy our life together
I'll give you so much in return for you to always treasure
And when my life is over too,we none of us will part
'Cos we will all be curled up safe in a corner of your heart.

Written By sue allstack

im so sorry for you going through this horrible time, which just has to be endured im afraid and im sure we all had a little sob reading your post and remembering departed friends. but as time goes by you do start to remember them without tears but with a little smile of fondness for the lovely times you had together. for now just go out and have a good scream.

I lost my 22 month old girl in February.  I have been so depressed since, it is like a black hole that I can't get out of.  She was the first puppy I had ever bred myself and she was an only one, she was my special girl.  When she died her mum had just had another litter and on that particular day the first puppy opened it eyes and I cried my heart out.  I still sit and cry now for her when I see things my other dogs do that she used to do, or hear a certain record on the radio.  I remember everything about that day but I am sure that like they say, time does heal.  I used to think people were daft grieving for their pets, I really hadn't ever experienced it before.  I'm sat in tears now, I really feel for you and I am so very sorry for your loss, but I'm sure you are finding support from everyone here as I do.

Thanks to everyone for your support. It's nice to know it is normal to feel like this.
Whiskey was cremated at the time and I was planning on taking his ashes to Plymbridge his favourite walk but at the moment don't feel ready to do that. His ashes are currently sat with one of his teddies, the other went with him and the third teddy is sat on my bed. His collar is also sat there too. But soon I guess it will feel right to scatter his ashes.
As for the puppy I have decided to let her go. I want to spend some time with the other dogs I have.
I also had sent one of my girls to be mated the week Whiskey went. She stayed with the stud dog owner who is a great friend. Stud dog owner phoned me after she had been mated and said we have just finished and we had a 30 minute tie!!! She phoned me 10 minutes after Whiskey had gone.
Because of Whiskey being a rescue dog and not liking people much except those he knew very well it took over an hour for him to go to sleep. We gave him valium first then a close friend gave him a seditive injection so that by the time the vet who was waiting outside came in to give that final injection Whiskey was not aware of anything. A lot of thought had gone in to this and it worked well. It was actually wonderful to sit and talk and kiss him for that time and to reassure him his mum was there at the end. Anyway the mating would have taken place at the same time as Whiskey went to sleep. A friend has suggested that I use all names of Whiskeys for the pedigree names which is an excellent idea. I think my girl is pregnant and although it might sound odd I really hope she is and I think there will be a real attachment there. Whether one of the pups is right for the show ring or not one of these WILL stay.
My oldest girl has settled down more now although she still misses her best mate and looks for him. She also heard me say his name the other night and ran to the front door which was sad.
I think I will focus on the dogs I have here 6 in total now, and the forthcoming litter. The pup from now will have a great family of her own and a great life ahead of her.
I think my outlook on life in the last few weeks has changed and some of the things I used to say the dogs couldn't do I now think it isn't hurting anyone enjoy every minute of them life is too short.
The tears are still many but I did have to smile the other day when I remembered how when i first got Whiskey from the rescue centre he used to get so excited when it was time for a walk and he used to jump up and down hitting the top of the door frame. And the time me and a friend went back to mine for lunch and as it was hot decided to turn the hose on for Whiskey to play with and he took it in his mouth as he always did and hosed her down. He had so much character considering the evil past he had and I'm so glad he was mine.
I have started to put together a rainbow bridge page for him for my website and so I will put a link on when its finished so you can all see what an incredible dog he was.
Thankyou all for making me see that life can carry on when you lose your best friend.

I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through, and as everyone has said on here, two weeks is nothing, you need time to grieve.  The loss of a dog you have loved is horrendously painful.   I lost my first dog in March this year at 3 years old, and like you it was the first time I'd experienced the pain of death of a loved one. I still find it very difficult to talk about him without falling into floods of tears. 

What did help me with my grief was keeping busy, I set up a website for him and found writing about him helped me. He was my first dog and I soon realised that I could never have a home without a dog again - he made it impossible for me to be dog free.  In May this year (only 3 months after) we had another puppy Jasper, and he has helped me come to terms with it.  He hasn't replaced Spangler, but he has filled a huge void.   I love him completely, something I thought I could never do again. 

It's normal for you to feel empty and numb about your puppy at the moment.  Love grows and takes time, it doesn't happen immediately.  As you are grieving it is impossible for you to feel anything at all - other than sadness.  Believe me, in time it will pass and your heart will open up to this new puppy without you realising when or how it happened!

I pushed my family out when I was grieving, it's almost impossible to feel anything for anybody, it made me feel terribly guilty at the time but I realise now that was normal.

In time your pain will pass, it will get easier, and one day you will even be able to talk about Whiskey without crying and remember all the good times, but for the time being you need to grieve by crying about him, talking about him or just thinking about him.

Remember he will be looking down on you wanting you to be happy, he won't want his Mummy to be sad - he knows you loved him and he will always have a very special place in your heart.

I'm sending you big hugs xxx
Maria

I think first dogs are so special. I must admit I still dream about dogs I have lost and it still really hurts terribly, I miss them so much. What i do think happens is that over time we come to terms with losing them, after going through the normal stages of grief - I believe it's denial, anger, depression - can't quite remember, but eventually does come acceptance.

I find it's very helpful to plant a small tree or make a special photo album, and don't expect other "normal" folk to understand. Dog people will, others may not :)

Sending hugs,

Lindsay
xxx

I can add very little to what the others have said....I went to pieces when my first dog died. I turned from plain grief to deep depression. I am crying now because I remember how much love I had for her. When I realised just how hard it had hit me I went to the doctor who was really supportive. He gave me a short course of antidepressant tablets which really helped. Go with your grief and work through it, but dont dismiss treatment if you need it.

I just want to send lots of {{{hugs}}} to you x

Everyone on here who has ever lost a dog knows exactly how you feel. It will get better, but cry when you want to, & talk to friends who have dogs. We all understand. I lost a GSD bitch over 3 1/2 years ago, I am lucky enough to have a video of her, when the BBC filmed her after a dog warden had picked her up & taken her to a rescue centre. She was found wandering, absolutely starving, full of fleas, with no hair on half of her body. She also had an open gash in her skull where the vet thought she could have been hit with a spade.The appeal on our local news was to find her a home & also try & find out who had abused her. No one offered her a home (thank goodness), we hadn't even seen the appeal, we were just at the right rescue centre at the right time!

To cut a long story short, we gave her a home & she was the most fantastic loving dog, she never, ever did one thing wrong. Well only once, the day after I had her she stole my husbands pudding off the side, I cried when I watched her eat it. Anyway, the BBC came & filmed her 3 months later, she was transformed even in that short time. They gave me a video with the 'before' & 'after'. In all this time I have only watched this once, it upsets me so much! I have 2 more dogs, Zak & Tilly, but you never forget. Actually you don't want to, but it will get easier, I assure you.

We love them all. But it's those few who get right into your heart, often without invite, but with stealth. Thank God for them.

Star if bethlehem will help, its like a rescue remedy especially for grief. My friend took it when she lost her horse of 15 years very very suddenly &  also when she lost her mum, You can by it in health food shops wherever you can buy  RR, & you take it just the same,drops on your tongue.

(btw i think i might know one of your "babies" a chocolate called Digby owned by a lady called chris?)

Hi

yes Digby is one of mine, a super dog with a very special owner.

I haven't been through it yet but your tribute was beautiful - I loved the God's garden story, brought tears to my eyes too! Whisky was a really handsome boy!