I have had an awful weekend in the middle of the worst bit my Mother in law turned up to offer her support.  Followed a little while later by my Mum bless who came and washed my dishes and cleaned the kitchen.  We rarely have my MIL round at the best of times she isn't a fan of animals and this weekend was even worse for a visit as we have a friends cats so as well as our 2 dogs and 2 cats we had 3 cats on holiday.  When MIL arrived I put my dogs in the kitchen as i was trying to juggle one hundred things and she can't stand them.
Milo started kicking off whining and barking as he does MIL snapped couldn't i shut him up at which point I did consider throwing her out.  When everything calmed down and both Mums were having a cup of tea I took the dogs in to the living room so I could cuddle them as I was really stressed MIL commented to my Mum she couldn't live with all these animals (strange as when she was young she lived on a farm).  To which my Mum said something along the lines of well they make them happy so who are we to judge ( good coming from my Mum as she has 3 cats a dog and a rabbit).  When MIL got up to leave Milo went over to say hello he was very good considering he had never met her before but I called him back MIL told me it was ok he was only saying hello she just couldn't stand his barking I think she actually patted him.   To be honest although we are a long way from being best of friends I actually felt a lot better about her when was nice to him Cindy stayed well away from her though she is Mummys girl.  Maybe part of the problem between me and MIL is that I am so defensive of my animals and MIL sees them from a farm prespective as there to do a job not part of the family.  Things turned out ok and all the worrying was for nothing actually thinking about asking MIL to tea maybe build bridges but keep coming back to a comment made by Billy Connoly why should MIL and me get on ?  But it is nice to be nice probably won't ask her to have the dogs if we go away on holiday though.  Think what gets me down is I always got on really well with boyfriends mothers but not so good with Husbands :rolleyes:

MIL's are strange creatures, I don't think they understand how mad we all are about are babies.  Both my OH and I plus the kids are all nutty about our dogs, luckily MIL knows that.

ALL mothers-in-Law are not strange!!!  :)  Some of us have Daughters-in-Law who are the same with our dogs as your MIL is around yours!!!  :)  (My DIL's are both dog lovers BTW!! :) )

No offence intended, I already know I'm strange.  Most people look at me gone out when I start talking dogs at work.

No offence taken!!  :)

My mother grew up on a farm and when we got my dog she was firmly of the belief that dogs belonged outside and were animals to be treated with kindness and respect but she didn't consider loving one. Needless to say over time my little Keeshond wormed her way into my mother's heart. When my sister got her first pair of dogs they were 'grandpuppies' that she doted on and bought gifts for. She was an exemplary babysitter for those dogs and loved them dearly. So, don't give up on the MIL, she may come around yet!

Last week, my M-I-L negatively commented on us having a second dog, (she is very opinionated and not nice with it) and then followed this by saying if we went on holiday she would only look after dog number 2 as she is calmer. My boy is not even 2 years old and my new girly is 3 1/2 so that may be why. :rolleyes: Needless to say, after the first comments she made which were very harsh, she wont be looking after any of them. This surprised me a great deal as she has always been a huge animal fan. My mum, has never been a fan of animals, looks after them both if needed and lets them on her sofa and said they would never be orphans while their 'nanny' was around. Isnt it funny how things turn out.

Exactly like my Mum, Lori.  I took pains to exclude my wonderfully behaved rescue ESS from family gatherings, she just was not welcome.  Then Sis, who lives much closer to Mum, got a puppy, kept him in the house as family and the next thing I know my Mum is telling me that if Sis's puppy is not invited for the next Christmas dinner she is not coming either!  My MIL, on the other hand, welcomed our ESS from the start though she had to stay in the basement due to MIL's asthma.

"but keep coming back to a comment made by Billy Connoly why should MIL and me get on ?  "

Hate to point out the obvious, but billy connolly would say anything for a joke and I would hardly recommend making a life mantra out of anything he says :D :D :D
On the serious side, I cant understand why some people see life so negatively....why SHOULDNT people get on with their MIL???? Its not compulsory to hate them!
I come from a well balanced family and we dont see any reasons to go out of our way to cause feuds and arguments.....yet I know so many people who fuel their lives with such feuds, and seem to enjoy them.
There is a really good reason to try and get on with the MIL ....it reduces stress. Behaviour breeds behaviour, these things are rarely one sided, we should all try to be tolerant :)

In defence of M-i-Ls:

I am that awful person ..... the Mother-in-Law:rolleyes:!   Not once - not twice, but thrice

I get on well with my S-i-L - I think he's absolutely wonderful - he's a loving husband and provider and a wonderful father, and a really lovely guy.

As for my two D-i-Ls (well, if one is pedantic they are still Daughters-out-law :D !) - they again are lovely, lovely women who are hard workers, wonderful mothers, and great fun to be with!

Am I really out of the ordinary?   I don't really think so!   In every relationship there has to be give and take and after all, they have shown remarkably good taste is settling on my offspring as their partners :D :D :D

If I don't agree with what they are doing - what business is it of mine?    They are all adults, and they are doing good jobs of bringing up their families in loving responsible ways - what more can anyone ask?

Margot

Sorry but no we can't get on with everyone I could make more of an effort to get on with my MIL we would get on very well if I rehomed all my pets was forever on a diet and drunk more alcohol as it is I am criticised for keeping pets eating chocolate and not drinking anything but flavoured water in her home.  I have come home on more than one occasion and sobbed as I have felt totally victimised but I am not hurting anyone else.  In a perfect world we would all get on and I am glad you have a well balanced family but not everyone does I only have a good relationship with my Mum, brother and sister and have nothing to do with my wider family but I have the most wonderful OH and friends you can't pick your family and just because you are related it isn't always for the best.  This post was about me seeing hope in a relationship with my MIL but I am not going to get all worked up any more when things don't go well she is a lovely lady and we are not feuding I don't enjoy them hence my lack of contact with my wider family in truth yes Billy Connoly is a commedian but many a true word spoken in jest.

I just get fed up with all the knocks at mothers in law - we aren't all the same!

My MIL was very difficult to get to know, but I tried hard for my OH's sake and it did get better - then she died suddenly :(

Now I have my son's girlfriend living with us (not son) and I'm trying my hardest to be a good (future) MIL :D :D :D I get on better with men than women - maybe others have the same problem :) :)

Daisy

My MIL is a strange woman at the best of times and she really doesn't like me. I have always tried my very best with her but got to the stage where enough was enough - she was enjoying my efforts. Without going into detail, she has never been a very good mother to my husband and I don't think she likes the fact that we are extremely happy and that our home is filled with love and happiness - its almost as though she is jealous I would love for things to be different and for us all to get on.

Hayley

No of course not all MIL are the same I think this is what upsets me in all my other relationships I have got on well with the Mothers and would have been happy to have them as MIL.  To be honest the animals are a big issue with my in laws but this is not a MIL thing as I have had lots of people think I must live in a smelly house as I have 2 dogs and 2.5 cats but I think very highly of my animals they are what I have chosen to share my life with.  No my house doesn't smell the animals are clean most of the time and if my dog rolls in dead seagull I bath it I do not live with the stench.  I would be made up if me and my MIL could get on.

Cindyloo's mum... I've had trouble with both my MIL's (well, MIL to be.... sort of... nearly.... never actually got married if you know what I mean).  One was a serious alcoholic and a poor mother to her son.  She was a lovely lady and tried her best, but it was awful having to go to hospital at 3 in the morning after they'd picked her up again.  The one I'm dealing with now is the complete opposite (Same as the boyfs really, you couldn't get more different).  She is the best mummy in the world to her son (my boyf).  he is the golden child and he can never do anything wrong.  His brother even jokes about it.  Of course, this means I meet a lot of scrutiny.  I try to be nice, but it is difficult sometimes.

In fact, she does drive me crackers!

But it just goes to show, that you can go from one end of the spectrum to the other and still find fault!  But, we're only human.... we have to embrace these differences and realise how happy we are as ourselves.  Wouldn't it be easier if we were all doggies.  One sniff and you know exactly where you stand!

Good point Jenny life would be simpler if we were all dogs.

Have you got any more sons? :D I seem to have found my perfect MIL :D

I like my MIL Margot! She's a lovely woman and is very nice to me. Her only fault is she can talk the hind leg off a donkey. ;-) (her own words)