I am trying to convince OH to have one as we are both agreed that we don't want anymore children. However, he won't discuss it seriously and just comes up with 'alternative' contraception ideas ;-)

He has suggested that i have a sterlisation op, but i feel that is too far and too major when he could have a much easier option.

I suffered really badly with hormone affected migraines both when i was pregnant and between pregnacies. Now i seem (touch wood!) to be clear of them but i am terrified of getting pregnant and them coming back to stay after that baby. He knows this but i still can't get him to be serious about it.

So, i am looking for all your stories about vasectomies, or what you know about them, so i can make him see sense.

p.s, i won't pass on any horror stories!!!!

sont know about vasectomy, but I was sterilised (tubes clamped) 24 years ago... keyhole surgery... one in through belly button, and other at base of apendectomy scar... 2 tiny stitches in each... back at work in a week... .although I dont suppose you really want hubby to see this lol ;)

honestly its not the major surgery that most people assume... although it does require full anaesthesia as opposed to local... but hey... hubby pandering toyour every whim for a few days while recovering... :D

Edited to add... apparently id does affect you spelling :d :D

brother went in and out in one day, for his op, he said the best thing he has ever done,
you coul try typing into google and you may find a forum or something that could put your hubbys mind at rest
carolann

I was snipped 13 years ago ..day surgery as well as keyhole. Both tubes clamped and up and at them 4 days later ;)

My hubby had one just over a 18 months ago.  I basically made the point that with me having the op, there is a 200-1 chance of it failing and becoming pregnant :( but with him it is 2000-1 :).  It is a simpler op for a man to have, especially if he has a local.  The op takes 10 mins and he went to the hospital for 1 pm and home in 3 hrs.  Yes he had discomfort for a few days while the stitches are still there but OH had dissolving ones.

With us women having the op, it is major invasive surgery under GA and a much longer recovery time, staying in hospital for a couple of days .

The only thing with the men having it done, is that it takes a while before they are sterile.  It takes a few months so you would have to use other forms until he gets 2 negative tests.  Only then can you be certain of not getting pregnant.  They will advise him to basically relieve himself as many times as possible and as soon as he feels comfortable after the op as this speeds up getting rid of live ones!!  :D Depends on the hospital but OH had to go back 10 weeks after op and then again at 14 weeks with samples.  You just need to make sure he goes back.  My OH unfortunately couldn't face doing the tests so we are dicing it a little :P :P

>With us women having the op, it is major invasive surgery under GA and a much longer recovery time, staying in hospital for a couple of days

Er no ....5 hours stay under GA and definitely not major surgery , unlike a hysterctomy

Umm, reading back it does sound a little OTT, doesn't it?! :rolleyes: , was just trying to convince her OH that his op is better.  Didn't quite work though , although when we considered our options, I was told a couple of days stay but maybe my Dr was airing on the cautious side?? 

my OH had the op & went back to work, (could walk back though & was just sitting in a shop) i went to pick him up though so he didnt have to drive. he was fine to drive in the next day.

i hasten to add his hjob isnt very taxing

my boyfriend has just had it done,bruising & swelling lasted a few days,quickly regained use. cant wait till xmas! ;)

I don't suppose you will want to hear this but, my first husband had the op done 20 years ago and still has problems with discomfort. (Yes, we do speak occassionally ;) ) My second hubby had the op about 10 years ago and has a few discomfort problems too. Nothing major, just a feeling every now and then of something pulling :) Maybe the stitches attaching the tubes to the side?

Oh, to give a bit light relief - my first hubby's surgeon was called Dr I M Cumming :D ;)

I went into hospital to be sterilised and it saved my life. They discovered I had cervical cancer.

Husband had one 13 years ago, when he was only 28, had to have a talk with the Dr and to give reasons why he wanted one!! He said he didn't feel a thing only the first injection to numb the area, Tubes cuts, job done Total rest for 24 hours back to work 2 days later.  Never looked back

My hubbys like yours wouldn't do it, but my brother was so much braver, modern and tuned in to the fact it is easier and quicker.  He went into much detail with me (to my horror) and was telling everyone all about it he was so excited by it, his boss had it done and he recommended it to my brother, no after affects, no trouble, slightly swollen parts for a few days, but otherwise he was extremely happy and has never regretted it. :-)

I guess I will be the only one to say this,but please make sure you really want this,my husband had a vasectomy very young before we met,he has had two attempts at reversing this, the last time we went to America to see the best surgeon money could buy,but sadly, no good.

The actual vasectomy he says was no problem(but the reversal ops were agony)so,make sure your confident,that in a couple of years time ,you wont be yearning for that next baby because I think after this there is no going back.
ash x

helenRR, I don't think that it would be a good idea for you to try to convince your OH to have a vasectomy.  It needs to be a joint decision then if anything went wrong later on, he couldn't get back to you and say "I told you I didn't want it done"  :)

Well I have a blood problem which means I cannot have any surgery at all, and I cannot have hormone treatment (i.e. be on the pill or similar) and I can't get pregnant again as that would a) put me in a wheelchair possibly for life and b) each time I'm at great risk (my 3 pregnancies meant daily injections with blood thinners) so when I met my husband and found out he'd had a vasectomy I was over the moon. It makes life SO easy and really there would have been no other choice for us. Never been a problem at all and he never had any problems from the op either -had it done about 15 years ago.

If oh doesnt want surgery, and you arent keen on sterilisation, why dont you try a coil? They are much better these days. I had one for years with no trouble at all, and in the unlikely event you change your mind its also reversible. Takes only 10 minutes to put in, works instantly, and requires no upkeep other than checking its still there.

A friend got pregnant with the coil and gave birth to a 3rd.
Mind you that was 17 yrs ago and perhaps things
have got better since then?

Yes boxacrazy, coils are much better now. Id certainly prefer it to an op anyday!

Hi,
My first Husband had the Vasectomy when he was 26yrs old, we had three children in three years and
they would not give me the pill because I had blood presure when I was pregnant.
We had to pay private then, as we didn't want to wait on a waiting list.The worsed, he said was being shaved. Injected to freeze the area, only one inch insision pulled out the tubes cut and tied them the whole thing took ten mins.two disposable stiches. and a inch dressing. He went back to work the next day he was a plumber.
Two sperm counts. Had to be taken to the hospital in a small jar, to check no sperm was there, then all clear.
It doesn't stop erection, or the sex drive. they still past fluid without live sperm, can't even tell, except they
can perform more often. It is the best thing he had ever done, he said.He never got re-married and still has a very full sex life.With no C.S.

Well if you've suffered childbirth I think it's only right he goes in to get snipped!

None of the men I know who've had a vasectomy have suffered any problems at all.

We were thinking of getting one of us neutered. I didn't want Jon to get the snip incase something happens to me and he wants to go on and meet someone else and have more children, so it was going to be me - but I've changed my mind now cos I am not sure i could cope mentally with the thought of being unable to have anymore children... I think I might grieve for it - weird or what?!

I had it done about 7 years ago.  It's very quick and easy, had it done under a local so I was only in the hospital for about hour and a half.  It's a bit uncomfortable for a few days and you can do a very passable impression of a John Wayne walk   Once the swelling had gone down it was fine and I've never had any discomfort etc.

Just noticed someone said you get shaved - not any more.

Steve

We have the children, they have the snip!
Hubby was 'done' about 11 years ago and until he was cleared I had the contraceptive jab.

:D @ Steve, yes I remember the john wayne walk, when my brother saw him walk up the garden he asked him where he'd parked his horse :D

I was sterilised several years ago and it is a fairly minor procedure in itself, with a quick recovery time.  However, it seems, at least in the USA, that it is now accepted that there can be long term adverse effects from it - do a google search for Tubal Ligation Syndrome and it will give you an idea.  I offer this information for you to take as you find it, but it might be useful for you if you wish to point out to your OH that it may not be quite the easy option he views it as ;)

OH had it done 12 years ago, went to work that evening (played his guitar in band) never looked back

A friend had one last year.  Small keyhole op, local anaesthetic only, a couple of stitches and out of hospital that afternoon.

3 days later he flew long-haul to Seattle and took his own stitches out after 10 days.

He's not the bravest chap I know, so it really couldn't have been that bad......

And the other thing to think of, it's easier for a man to try a reversal if the need arose.    Also cheaper for the NHS for a man to have a vasectomy!

My OH was done. No problem whatsoever.  No horror stories to tell. I think it is the least they can do. :-)

Told my OH that after having been on the contraceptive pill for far too long, had 3 children, 2 with awful births it was high time he took his turn on the family planning front. The only preventative method I was prepared to take from that time on was abstinence   3rd baby was 2 weeks old when he was "done", :D We waited in the next room and he was no longer than 20 minutes.

Not that long ago they showed a live vasectomy on 'This Morning' with Phillip Scoffield.  It looked so easy, simple and pain free ! I recorded it on Sky plus and showed it to my husband whilst he was having his dinner - he almost choked to death. Was funny at the time. Tell ur OH to be a modern man - the male op is so much simpler. Good luck !

this thread has got me thinking about how many people on this site advocate the same message for themselves as their dogs - no irresponsible breeding here. lol.  If it will no longer add to the good of the breed/species get them snipped!  Wonder if there is any correlation between those in life who choose to use contraception with their animals and those who use it with themselves to those who do not bother for either themselves or their animals?

Hi,
The problem is they listen to there mates, that make up horror stories, and you find most of them no nothink about it, and have never had a dental filling.
My cousin's  husband had his done in his lunch hour in the doctors surgery. No-one has ever new he'd had it done.

Hi,

Been sterilised myself (tubes to ovaries clamped around 10 years ago)) ended up a week in hospital with an infection from key hole surgery! No problem since and have been really happy :-)

Did not want my husband to go in for the "snip" as apparently OH`s can "loose their drive" so to speak!!!!!

I would have thought that the 'drive' would have been stronger as there was no risk of making your partner pregnant ever so things could be done more on the spur of the moment????

Well, thanks for all of your posts. The general consensus seems to be that the op is not very painful and has few complications. this is what i had thought.

i did managhe to get OH to talk a bit more seriously about it bu7t he still refuses to have it done.

His main reason are;

because any operation can carry a risk

Because he doesn't want a doctor to 'fiddle' with his bits (although he is keen enough for me........:rolleyes: :D perhaps i will get a scalpel and do it myself, i've seen enough horses castrated to manage that!!! (perhaps he's seen too many colts cut and this is where the problem lies?!)

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO!!!!

I think the main reason is the second one, I told him that when you have a baby you have all and sundry down there looking and pulling and prodding :rolleyes: but he is adamant.

I did show him a website about it but he wouldn't budge. at least he has talked about it seriously and that is something i suppose.

Thanks again

Give him a drop of brandy and get yerself 2 housebricks. Job done.

:D

Because he doesn't want a doctor to 'fiddle' with his bits

Sorry but it's ok for you to be prodded & poked with whilst you are pregnant,to have to take the risks of chemical birth control, to go for regular smear checks and to have borne children with all  & sundry staring at your bits but one surgeon making 2 quick incisions is 'fiddling'......think someone needs to be a little bit less selfish!

think someone needs to be a little bit less selfish! 
But ALOT of men think the same!!!!!!
My partner wont have it done even though he is adament he does not want any more kids (2 from previous relationships) But he is scared of needles!!!!! Been 12 years in the army, seeing god knows what but put a needle anywhere near him and he goes up the wall!!!
Lea :)

Aye! as they say, any excuse :rolleyes:

Can't see the problem with it myself but the blokes... :rolleyes:  Is it because they just have got used to us 'taking care of things' ??? 

I think some blokes see it as losing their 'manhood'! They dont feel like a complete man anymore! (Personally, I think they are keeping their options open ;))

funny you should say that Tracey123, as he did say that the reason i didn't want a sterilisation was so if i met someone else i could have more children, but he wouldn't be able to :rolleyes:

he also said that i was keeping my options open for if he died as he is 18yrs older than me

think he was joking, but how many things said in jest are things you don't feel you could get away with if said seriously??

I don't think his any of his reasons are acceptable...... Your OH is being pretty selfish ! Why not abstain for a while and I'm sure he'll come round to considering it.  Lots of guys I work with have had it done and much to my surprise actually talk openly about it.  Stick your heels in and be brave - don't let him win ! (this post makes me sound like a man hater - honest I'm not)

I'm sure if men had to carry and  give birth to the second child themselves they'd be crowding out the clinics as we speak LOL :D :D :D :D

I offered to be sterilised when I had my son because I knew he was being born by c-section (not by choice I hasten to add!), but he said that it wasn't fair as I'd been through enough.  But it still took him 3 years to get round to it cos he's frightened of needles!Anyway, it was done at a local health centre within two weeks, only took 10 minutes and then I took him home. He had a sleep and went back to work the next day.  Had a problem about a year later, a slight misfunction (nothing serious), It's about 4 years since he had it done and he can't see why he fussed so.  On the other hand, I have a cousin who says it's unmanly to have it done and wouldn't dream of it, he says it is the womans job to see to that side of it (I personally would see to it with a carving knife but that's just me!) 

LMAO!! :D

We were in for an appt. for my son and were talking about me getting fixed - well my hubbies doctor piped in and said it is alot easier not to mention safer for a man to get it done then for the women :) I have my physical coming up and told him Iam booking one - 2year wait - and he said No he's gonna do it.... 11 years ago he had an appt. we cancelled it cause we wanted another baby tried for 2years and nothing - and after that we just pray to god lol I was told I would have a hard time getting pregnant if I could - I wanted all my babies before I was 30 now Iam 32 I don't want an ooops at 40 so would rather reduce that chance for good lol

The op is very simple now - its in and out - done on a friday back to work on a monday - its alot better then what is was 10 years ago thats what he said - I believe he said all lazer now so very quick.... You had babies all he got was the fun making them  you got the 9 months and the labour how easy on his part lol :D - think its his turn to repay you - thats what I also believe - a man can be a man and actually do that - atleast its not 9 months and a long labour in the end....