Im 22 years old and I class myself as quite an intelligent and grown up 22 year old. I have had a full time job since I was 19, I own my own house and am just in the process of buying another. I drive my own car to work everyday and I am not in anyway in debt yet my parents still wont let me grow up!

Example 1: I went to Blackpool with my dancing buddies to a competition and I was asked if I would share the driving of the minibus. I checked my license online and it said I was ok to drive minibuses so I agreed. I told my parents as I was excited about going etc and they said they didnt want me driving the minibus! I told them not to worry and I would be fine etc but had to ring them as soon as I was there!

Im hoping to go to Devon tomorrow after work (from where I am it will take 6 hours including a break). Im hoping to set off about 5 so I will be driving in the dark. My mum was originally coming with me but she might not be able to come now and has asked if I can go Sat morning when its light? Im much better driving at night and I would probably be more likely to fall asleep at 5am than at 10pm! It resulted in me saying to mum this morning that she needs to let go of the strings she has attached to me (it makes it worse cos Im the youngest!) and that resulted in her slamming the phone down on me!

How can I explain to them that they need to let go of me or am I being selfish in putting them through sleepness nights because they think Im going to break down on route?!? :(

LOLOLOLOL

I'm way older than you & when I was going to the Netherlands on a weekend break my father's parting wrds were"Don't talk to any strangers while you are there"

Yer right like I know everyone over there ;)

The answer is no they don't

Grrr my 17 year old niece is allowed to do more than me!:rolleyes:

Look at the positive side.....'they love you!' My mum was the same and still is and Im 39.
Mum always said to me that when I had kids of my own, then I would understand.
And yes I do have two kids, and I am very over-protective with them and Im sure always will be!

I think thats sweet, smile, nod and indulge it. 

My mum still trys to hold my hand when I cross the road - I'm 41 with two kids of my own!  She called me last night as well because she knew my husband was on nights - just to let me know she is there if I need her and in case I was scared of the storms......  never have been!

You'll do just the same one day believe me - it shows they love and care,

Max

I know it's hard but be grateful that you have parents who care about you and are interested in what you do - many don't! :(

As the Mother of an only child, daughter of 28, I trained her to make considered judgments and myself to allow her to - it's not easy to let go! :D  Mine (or her husband!) always rings when they travel abroad, to tell me how wonderful it is, but they know that I just want to know that they've arrived safely - I don't have to ask because they do it.

Enjoy yourself, and just ring to say that you had a good drive and the place is brill! :)

This is the problem though. Im probably the only one out of the 3 children that is actually responsible! I always ring my parents when I arrive somewhere. I know I should be grateful but I just want them to let me do my own thing - my mum's always telling me Im boring because I never went out clubbing but when I want to do something different I get reprimanded for it! :rolleyes:

aww :P
Ponks' right, when you have children of your own you will understand. I'm afraid I'm a bit like your/my mum now. My eldest son is 25 and my eldest daughter is 21 BUT I still worry about them. I hate the idea that my daughter walks home from work, through back entries and close to the woods - especially on these darker nights. I keep asking her to walk the safer, longer, route home but she justs rolls her eyes at me and smiles. And you know what? I bet I would have done/did exactly the same at her :P

Mothers :rolleyes: who'd 'ave us :D :D

The answer to the question in the title is: In their hearts no, not if they love you! No matter how old we get, we're still our parents' babies. When my brothers or I visit my mother we still phone her to let her know we're home safe - and my brother's 60!

Much better that way than if they don't care - there are people whose parents couldn't wait for them to leave home and get out of their lives. :(

No Never!!!! Whe n I had to go into hospital recently i decided not to tell my mum as she would have been at my bedside for 24 hours & arguing with the nurses Tomorrow i am off to look at puppies.....flying abroad......i have told my mum i am going with my friend (with whom i went to same place last month) because if she thinks i am goingon my own she will try to talk me out of it.......even worse, is that I am late 30's!!!!! and still not allowed to grow up, despite having lived/worked abroad, owning my own house and runing my own business. I am afraid thats just how mothers are & we have to learn to live with it

Im upset that she cant talk to me without getting mad though! She just gets wound up really quickly and then slams the phone down. Im not sure if she does it for effect because now its left me pondering it even more than I would have done!

Don't tell them then!

If you know that they get unnecessarily worked up about things then just don't let them know.

Plus do not let your parents start on the emotional blackmail - you do not live at home anymore.

Suggest being a bit firmer with them and you will be surprised how quickly they will come to terms that their "little girl" has grown up!

By the way enjoy the trip

My parents worry about me still and I'm 48!  

>My mum still trys to hold my hand when I cross the road

My mum holds my elbow like I'm the pensioner :D  My dad doesn't like me going anywhere at night without my OH :rolleyes:   When I  visit my dad starts getting figity the closer it gets to rush hour because he doesn't want me to drive in heavy traffic.  I don't have to ring them when I get in anymore but I do have to phone them when I fly abroad to let them know I've arrived safely. 

>Don't tell them then!

I have to hold things back and keep quiet, especially about illnesses and accidents because they go overboard with worry and don't give me any peace at the time.  I wait until things are improving and then tell them.  Some things I've never told them.

They are now doing the same sort of things to my children.  When I told my mum that one daughter was going to Australia backpacking her immediate reactions was "You're not going to let her are you?"  My dad has become an expert on shark attacks and worries about the crocodiles too :rolleyes: 

If they had half an inkling what I got up to as a teen they wouldn't believe it.

It's just mother love :D :D I worry about my nearly 21 year old daughter (she went on holiday this week and was instructed to text me when she got to her friends's house and then the holiday destination) :) However, we have son's girlfriend (23) living with us now and although she's lovely, I don't worry about her nearly as much as my daughter :D

Daisy

Sometimes I wonder about my Mum's priorities....

I was quite ill with bronchitis a couple of years ago and she was so worried she practically moved in with me to keep an eye on me. I could have understood it if I lived alone but I don't!! :rolleyes: BUT, several years ago I was kind of caught up in a bomb (not unusal at the time, given where I live, but unusual in that it happened in a small town not usually affected by such things).  I had already arranged to stay with a friend that night and wasn't due home anyway but the bomb had knocked out the phone lines and it was several hours before I could call home to let them know I was safe.  I knew the local news had already reported the bomb and I thought my Mum would be frantic. The phone call went like this...

Me: Hi Mum, I'm sure you've hear the news but I just want to let you know I'm at (my friend's) house now and I'm safe.
Mum: What news?
Me: About the bomb...
Mum: Oh that...yes I heard. Right, your Dad says you left without having any tea tonight. Have you had anything to eat yet? You can't go running about on an empty stomach...
Me: *speechless*

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :D

Be glad you have parents who care, I phone my mum once a week to make sure all is well and got a bit fed up that she never phones. I decided to leave it to see just how long it will be before she picks up the phone to make sure we are all ok so far it has been six weeks.
Mary

My parents are worse :d :d  I live 7 minutes away in the car.  I have to phone every day still although I don't some days and if I've been at their house and come back home I have to give them two rings so that they know I'm home :d :d  

Sorry, I'm 35 and it doesn't change.

I remember going out with friends when I was 25 (still lived with my parents) they knew where I'd gone but I got home at about 4 minutes before 3.00 am they told me that they were waiting until 3 and if I hadn't of arrived that they were about to phone the police.  Oh and yes, they were both still sat up and hadn't gone to bed :d

I actually like it, shows that they care, better that way than having parents who don't care about you at all!

Do parents ever let you grow up?  erm, NO :D

Do "kids" ever grow up?   Not this one :P :P :P

:D No, parents don't let you grow up. Well, my older sister was allowed to (she left home at 18) however I lingered on until I was 21 and always stayed in the area, so in some ways never broke the ties like my sister did. I loved my parents so much but hated being told what was best for me in my mid 30s and beyond... :P

Looking back, I agree with the post that said simply don't tell them what you are doing - it saves a lot of hassle and besides you don't need to report to them or to share everything with them. It's what my sister did and she had a great grown up relationship with our parents. I on the other hand used to talk to them loads, and got lots of "do it this way" :D

It's only because they care - and in my case too I think it was because i was the "baby" :rolleyes: :P

Tracey , I`m going on the big 40 and I still have to ring my mum to let her know I`ve arrived safely. So if you don`t want the grief just don`t tell her so much and she won`t worry . What she doesn`t know won`t stress her out. I have two kids now and I worry when they don`t tell me when they will be home :) Its a parent thing :) Just think there a lot of people out there that have lost there mums and just wish they were getting grief from there mums. Just be happy that she loves you and cares for you so much :) When I was single and living on my own I just didn`t tell her everything :)

My Mum is the worlds worst panicker, always believing that some terrible fate will befall me. When I was 20 I was at university and living in Coventry, and I told my Mum that I was going on the coach from Coventry to visit my friend in Glasgow. On the day of my journey there was a TRAIN accident in the Severn Tunnel near BRISTOL When I phoned my Mum the next day from a phone box (mobiles hadnt been invented then) she was absolutely freaking out. She thought I must have been killed in the train accident :rolleyes: Love her to bits though, and very glad to still have her despite her poor health.

I'm sorry but my children are my children until the day I die ..be thankful you still have yours, I don't ;)

I am 29 years old.
I moved out on my 18th birthday with a 2 weeks old baby and I have never lived with them since.
I have a house, 2 well brought up children, 2 dogs, a steady job which I have had for 7 years(Ok with my dad but I certainly wouldnt be doing it if I wasnt good at it!!!)
And if I dont contact my mum EVERYDAY she worries and send out the search party!!!!
I have been driving for over 5 years and whenever I go more than 20 miles down the road she tells me to ring her to let her know I am their safely!!!!!
And on my days off she always asks what I am doing and gets upset if I dont tell her.
I sometimes wish I could just go away for a weekend without telling anyone, but I cant as mum would spend the whole weekend worrying!!!!
So nope, you never grow up!!!!!
(My brothers have both moved away and i do wonder if I should have done that as that way she wouldnt have to know my EVERY move!!!!)
Lea :)

Be grateful - I'm 31 and my parents were just like yours until quite recently.  However, in the last year or so things have reversed themselves and my partner and I have started to worry about our parents instead of them about us.  With mine it's their health, but OH's parents both have dementia - before it was properly diagnosed they would decide to go for a drive on the motorway at 5am (amazing how difficult it was convincing the doctor / DVLA they shouldn't be driving).  They are still living in their flat (doctors and social services have been useless) and are causing us sleepless nights (not to mention their neighbours whose doors they bang on at 2am).  One day - I'm not quite sure how it happens, but you wake up and realise that it has - your roles reverse and you feel like you are the parent, or responsible for them.

Very true :( We now only have one parent left between OH and I - my mum. She is 91 and while with it mentally, is very frail now (she was still going out walking a couple of miles a day until 2 years ago). She lives 120 miles away and, although she is now in a home where she is well looked after, she is now getting very deaf and telephoning her is a nightmare. She rarely phones me and I get increasingly frustrated when my calls to her are very short as she just can't hear what I say. Sometimes it's better than others. We don't get down to see her very often as she is on the IOW and, if we go, we have to do it in the day and take the dogs with us - which makes life very difficult :( I feel as though the delicate thread between us is steadily becoming frailer. One day she won't be able to talk to us and we shall have to rely on the staff at the home to communicate with her :( I suppose that I could write to her then.

So as Rosemarie says - be grateful. Love them, together with all their annoying habits, while you have got them :)

Daisy

Lol, I've enjoyed reading this thread - I thought I was the only one.

I'm 29 in a few days, own my house etc, yet my parents always want to know exactly what I'm doing.

I love them for it though......and I think I'm taking after them, I phone them every day at 6pm to see if they're ok.  If i can't get them on the landline, I phone their mobiles, if I can't get them on their mobiles, I panic! :rolleyes:

TuT TuT!! You will always be her baby be 6months or sixty years, Be pleased she loves you and cares