My 16 year old niece (who's like a sister to me as there is only 5 years between us) recently split up from her boyfriend. He went a bit doolally when she split with him and wouldnt leave her alone. He wanted to see her to try and win her back and for so long she was brave and strong but I found out this morning that shes got back with him!

On the one hand I think she should be left to make her own mistakes and that we shouldnt really interfere but then on the other hand this lad is 18, a convicted criminal who was in prison for 9 months, hasnt got a job, smokes my nieces fags, gets money off my niece for things he wants and doesnt leave her alone. My mum wont speak to her for getting back with him but I actually feel sorry for her. I hope she opens her eyes and realises what shes got and lost but am I right keeping my mouth shut? Everyone around her seems to have an opinion about it and they all want her to be happy. Its a difficult one I think!:rolleyes:

Poor Girl, But you have to let her make her own mistakes and just be there for her when she needs you :)

Like JustLou says, there's not really much more you can do than be waiting for her if/when it all goes pear shaped.  Remember being 16?  I definitely didn't like being told what to do and would normally do the opposite (even if I didn't really want to)!  IMHO you can let her know you're worried about the relationship, but make sure she knows you're respecting her decision and will be there whatever the outcome....

Advising her her boyfriend is one of life's loser's will do no good, people, not just youngsters but even older gals and women, will always rebel against everyone else's bad opinions of someone, it's kind of like 'I will prove you all wrong' and a slight on someone else's judgment, which none of us like.

What you can do, is install confidence into her, make her feel independant and capable of making her own decisions and continue to praise her for working hard, infact encourage it, try to get her interested in a career, give her something to aim for instead of marriage and children, compliment her on the way she looks etc, guys like this invariably break down a young vulnerable girl take away their confidence and give them no hope.  Don't allow that to happen, if she is confident one day she will look at him and know she deserves more.

Thanks for your replies. She has managed to get a job waitressing in a chinese restaurant - she wants to borrow a blouse because she has no money (Think Ill buy her one as a gift!) but as of yet, he still doesnt have a job! Complete waste of space. All he's doing is receiving dole money and getting the rest off her. Grr he makes me mad. He said he was going to commit suicide when they split up, next time - Ill shove the pills down his neck for him!!

:-D :-D