I have just posted, rather sadly, on Rainbow Bridge for my Mum and Dads cat Velvet who was put to sleep today at the ripe old age of 20. She was such a lovely girl but over recent years gradually began losing weight, as you would expect with a cat of that age. She was really very frail in the end but was never a big cat in the beginning so that was to be expected. I saw her last weekend and she was fine but on Saturday evening her breathing became ever so slightly laboured. Mum and Dad put it down to the heat. However she didnt perk up as the weather cooled this week and so they took her to have her PTS. When my Mum got in there she said to the vet that she would like her PTS. She didnt want her pulled about at her age and she knew that it was the beginning of the end. She was met with a curt "I decide what animals are put to sleep here" which my Mum and Dad were quite upset with given the sensitive situation. She then made a series of comments to them implying that they had in some way not taken proper care of the cat.

My Mum had hand fed this cat for years on Chicken, Tuna and Minced Meat, only the best would do. I know that feeding isnt the be all and end all in caring for animals but its a pretty good indicator of the care and thought taken. I just feel so sorry for them as this is a time where people naturally feel guilty anyway without having those sorts of comments thrown around. Im so cross and I just had to post somewhere where I can rant without being shot down like they were today.

Thanks

I'm so sorry about Velvet and your parents' sadness, and agree totally that the vet should have been more sensitive, especially at such a traumatic time for them. Your parents had obviously done an excellent job caring for their cat for so long, and were brave enough to not let her down at the end.

I can only hope that the vet had either had a bad day with earlier clients (although that's no excuse for him to pass his annoyance on to your parents) or didn't intend his words to come across the way they did. :(

I'm afraid I would have to write them a strongly worded letter about this! Its insensitive!

I had a similar situation with a vet recently. A friend of mine had to have her mare (who I used to part own) put down with a broken leg. As I went to stroke her head after she had gone I touched the rug that I had given them to put over the mare, and the vet yelled at me not to touch the rug!! I can only assume that they didn't want my friend to see the wound to the mares head - this despite the fact that the mares leg was hanging off and covered in blood, with blood everywhere else. I wouldn't dream of moving the rug, I just brushed against it - but I felt very upset to be spoken to in such a way at such a sensitive moment.

I have decided to let it go though because they are just not worth it.

I agree with Chloe on this one. A strongly worded letter to the practice manager explaining just how your parents felt would be winging it's way by now. Most vets are sympathetic at this awful time, so when you get one that isn't I feel that something should be said. I've been lucky with my vets, in that they know that I wouldn't take an animal in unless I knew it was time.

So sorry for your parents loss. 20 is a good age for a cat. They must be devastated.

Thank you for your messages. I cant tell you what they mean to us at this time. I think we are all in shock. The vet they saw wasnt the vet they normally see. The guy they normally see is, not sure of the proper terminology but, I guess hes the senior partner and they have been going to him for years and hes lovely. We are going to decide what to do tomorrow but I think I might pop in there myself as I dont see why my Mum and Dad should endure anything further.

The thing that makes me cross is that YES the cat was a bit scraggy but its the vets job to ask questions and find out whats wrong with her and TBH you wouldnt expect a cat to look any different at her age, she really wasnt that bad just ultra thin. In fact she was still a very pretty cat and tried to take care of herself. Apparently all she kept going on about was how the cat hadnt been to the vet for ages but why would she when there was nothing wrong with her (except the ailments that old age brings) until this week?

Anyway I could go on and on as Im fuming but I feel so much better for your support. I am going to Mum and Dads tomorrow and I will show them your supportive messages which I am sure will make them feel so much better and relieve some of the guilt that I am sure as loving animal owners they will be feeling.

Thanks again x

>how the cat hadnt been to the vet for ages<

Please dont shoot me down,but maybe the vet agree's that once an animal gets to a certain age they should be brought in regularly for health checks and preventative care.6 monthly visits is what i do once my pets get past the age of 10 along with yearly,sometimes 6 monthly blood work ups.Or perhaps she was wondering why the owners went straight to the PTS option and didnt ask for a consult to find out why the cat was "scraggy and ultra thin" which in my experience doesnt always go hand in hand with old age,there could have been a perfectly acceptable and treatable reason for the cats appearance.
Personally i can see the vets point of view on this one,putting to sleep and animal that you dont even know what is wrong with,and not allowed to try and help first would be very hard,and i'm sure the vet would have preferred to diagnose whatever was wrong with the cat and offering treatment,if there was any before euthanising it.The vet may have been thinking the cat may have had a perfectly treatable condition,remembering old age is not a disease ;)

For goodness sake the cat was TWENTY years old well past the normal age for a cat.  I never take my animals to the Vet unless I feel they need treatment, and prolonging life just because we can is not often the best thing for pet or owner.  It is the owners decision after all.

You have to be the most insensitive poster I have ever known on here.

How do YOU know that the posters parents hadn't seen another vet previously?!

For goodness sake would you just look at what you have written? The cat was 20 (!!!) the owners (who know their cat far better than you) made the decision to have it kindly put to sleep and you are accusing them of not looking after it properly?!

I have seen it all now.

Ditto that ChloeH - I can't believe what I'm reading

>You have to be the most insensitive poster I have ever known on here.<

Oh,i'm sorry to hear that I always try to look at both sides of everything,if you think that makes me insensitive,well that's surely your perogative :) I was just trying to see why the vet would have acted like she did.Most vets i know are very sympathetic to these kinds of situations.....

>How do YOU know that the posters parents hadn't seen another vet previously?!<

The vet they saw wasnt the vet they normally see.

Thats how.

I don't disagree with you Ktee but as the cat has now left this mortal coil it was probably not kind to mention it.  If the vet meant they would have liked to have seen the cat sooner for treatment or possibly even sooner for euthanasia no doubt that will be sorted out by an investigation by the senior vet. It's a tact issue basically :)

>How do YOU know that the posters parents hadn't seen another vet previously?!<

>The vet they saw wasnt the vet they normally see.

>Thats how.

Then you don't know what treatment that cat has had previously.

The fact is that your comments can't bring the cat back - they can only make the OP feel the need to justify their parents actions. So why bother? If you feel owners of elderly animals should have regular health checks - start another thread.

Old age certainly isn't a disease, but it is a terminal condition for which there's no cure.

Personally, I would tell your parents to speak to the receptionist and make an appointment with their regular vet, she will tell them when their vet is on duty and that way you can go to someone who will be much more understanding and knows your parents and their cat.

I have a 15 year old cat, who  only goes to the vets for her booster, I don't see the point in ever going to a vet unless needed, we all know our animals, we spend time with them every single day and can look at them and know when they are in pain, we do not need a vet to tell us this, our animals depend on us and when we spot something wrong, then we go to the vet.

I wholeheartedly believe your parents knew the time was right, and how dare someone who knows nothing of their cat try to tell them differently. Hopefully the heat was draining her and she may make it a little longer, but if they feel she is in pain then they need to return her. They have obviously done a fantastic job with her 20 is an amazing age for a cat.

Sorry I probably wasnt very clear in my last post but the vet in the end did agree with my parents and PTS anyway! At least she is at peace now and thats the main thing.

Again, thanks for your kindness and support. I know this could have turned into an ethical debate, at which I would have been mortified. The majority of you have obviously sensed that I couldnt write out the cats life story and health record and have been kind in reading between the lines.

Thanks to you all again your support has really made a difference.

My mistake Caroline,

You do say that Velvet was pts today in your first post, so I apologies for that, I should have read more carefully, your poor parents that is so heartbreaking, the vet was most insensitive for their last moments together. It would upset me terribly too, it is one of the hardest decisions to make, appauling and incensitive behaviour from the vet concerned.

I'm very sorry that such a sad situation was made worse for your Mum and Dad, as if it wasn't hard enough already. :(

Yep I agree, a letter is the way to go. But if you need to vent our rath, ask to see the vet responsible. It's so easy to rant at the receptionist, who only gets angry and complains to her workmates about that awful woman that was in earlier.:rolleyes:

Speaking as a vet's receptionist myself, please make sure you don't take your understandable hurt and anger out on an innocent person. :( That would be terribly unfair. We only answer the phone and make appointments, and it can be rough enough in the front line.

Hi Caroline,

I can add very little to the other posters' kind words, caring messages and genuine sympathy for how your parents must be feeling.  Howeer please pass on my best wishes to them at what was already a traumatic enough time without the added hurt caused by insensitive remarks from the vet.

When things are less fraught I completely agreed that a letter detailing the response from the vet and further comments which caused undue distress should be delivered to the PM so that appropriate measures are taken to prevent this type of behaviour again and a full apology given to your Mum and Dad.

So sorry meantime :(  Run free Velvet  xxx
God bless, Teri

Sorry to hear  :(  The descision either way is not easy for either side :(

when i took mum mums cat to the vet she was 16 and almost gone, skinny and could hardly move,(i dont think she would have made it another day anyway), but part of me still thought the vet could make her better, the vet just said , oh lets give her a little injection etc they were fantastic and they could have asked why she had not been in before. i guess they see it all in their job. if it was me i would just avoid that particular vet in future if possible.

Sincere condolances to you and your parents at this very difficult time. Its awful to lose a pet under any circumstances, and you all obviously loved and cared for this cat. 20 years is a grand old age, which shows care and commitment, and I think we as owners know when the time has come. You all obviously built up a repore with your vet who knew you only had the cats well being at heart, such a shame the new vet didnt take that into consideration. I would certainly let time pass to grieve, and when your parents feel able, certainly write a letter to the practice manager, or the original vet, stating your feelings regarding this. No matter how hard a day the vet may have been having, there is no need for this attitude, and this should be brought to attention.

Take care :)

So sorry that your parents had to go through this at such a sad time for them! 
Definitely write to the practice or go into the practice and speak to whoever is in charge about it.

When you love your pet you know when the time is right to put them to sleep - those are my thoughts !
Maria