I have had some terrible news this week :( :(
A close friend of mine went for her 2nd scan in December and was told that her babies organs were growing outside of her body.She was devestated but the doctors were very optimistic.
On Sunday she told me that she had to go to the hospital as she had not felt her baby move since the previous night.She went only to be told that her unborn daughter had died. :( :(
She was due on 25th May.I am so devastated for her and cannot begin to imagine what she is feeling right now.
The sad thing is she has only just given birth (18.44)as the hospital had no beds.:(
I have seen her since the news but I dont really want to visit the hospital as she has asked for baby to be kept with her and I dont want to see her.
How do I tell her??Will she be upset if I dont visit or do you think she will understand??
I would appreciate any advice.

Very sad but please try and have the courage to go and see her as I am sure it will help her so much :)

You say will she understand ? Imagine what she is going through and maybe you can see she will need as much support as anybody can give her ;)

It will be hard for you as well but be brave as she needs you :)

Lucy
xx

I think she needs to grieve and I can understand her wanting to keep the baby with her - but if it were me I would rather have a card with some flowers and a simple "Thinking of you" than a visit at this time :(

I agree with ChloeH, but do visit her later on when she gets home, she will need to see she has your support.

What a terribly sad thing to happen. :( I don't want to even try to imagine how desperately sad she the rest of her family must be feeling.

As for visiting; it's very common in cases of stillbirth for the mother to keep the baby with her for several hours to help come to terms with the loss, but she won't be able to stay with her for very long for obvious reasons. Be ready to support your friend in whatever way she needs. You may well find that this is such a personal loss she only wants her close family with her at the moment.

Hi There,
           I am a neo-natal surgical ICU nurse and I see this happening sometimes when we are waiting for babies who will be requiring surgery to be born. :-(
It is a traumatic time for her, but you will probably find that tomorrow she will not have the baby with her and she may want support then......

If I can be of any help or support to you, please PM me........

Gabrielle x

What a kind gesture Gabrielle :)

Hi Teri,
          It is an awful situation, and one I know only too well....... :-(
Sometimes you just feel helpless and don't know what to do or say...... A difficult situation for all concerned....
People look for answers, and sometimes it helps to talk to someone not emotionally involved....

Hugs Gabrielle x

What a tragic situation :( :( :(

I agree, best just to send her some flowers and a card to tell her your thoughts are with her.  I can't begin to imagine how this poor girl feels but I think were it me I'd want the short time with my baby to be private and shared only with my husband.   Such very sad news.

Bless them, it must be devastating.  Teri x

That is horrible :( I too would send a card and some flowers.... At this time I too would only want my other half with me :(

I was very willing to see her but I could not bring myself to see the baby.I spoke to her this morning and she is coming home this evening so I will visit her then.
Thanks for all your replies.