Just had one of the worst days in a long time. After 3 years in remission we were told today that my OH's cancer is on the march again. Original tumours have doubled in size and new ones have appeared and there is no treatment for this particular cancer. After two and a half years we finally got back into the idea of being able to plan ahead a bit - booked a holiday for later in the year but even more important we decided that we could get a dog again and have had our GR since November. I know it is illogical but tonight I am thinking that we tempted fate by getting him and I am panicking how we are going to manage with hospital visits and deteriorating health and thinking that we were selfish to get him. I am sure that we will cope somehow but haven't begun to work out how yet. Just needed to say this to people I don't know as I can't talk about it to anyone's face at the moment.

I'm so sorry Harley.  Is there perhaps a specialist nurse looking after your OH who can help you both talk about things?

oh Harley Honey,

completely understand, its easier to 'talk' here especially as its soo hard putting a brave face on things, but none of us are Superwoman (well unless your Anthea Turner!..but Im still convinced she's not human ;) :P )
    Dont beat yourself up with this,one day at a time... youve got the weight of the world on your shoulders right now, and if we can help lift that weight a bit for you by listening...then happy to help.
{{{{{{ Warmest hugs }}}}}}}

I'm so sorry Harley.
There are some really nice people on here, so come in whenever you want to 'talk'.
<<HUGS>>>

So sorry

All I can say is you are not alone ;)

How is he feeling ?

If you need help for foster care if it gets bad then PM me as I will sort it out for you ;)

I cant imagine how you must be feeling  :(

Lucy
xx

Sorry to hear the cancers back, Harley im going through it with my mum , so i understand . im off to leeds tomorrow for session 3 of 4 lots of chemo , with my mum , she is terminal with lung cancer, but she doesnt really know that , if it wasnt for the support of the Macmillan nurse , i think i would crack up, they are fantastic . {{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}} To you & your husband .
love Caron x

Really sorry to hear this, Harley. After so long in remission it must have been devastating to find yourselves walking the same road again. 
All you can do is take each day as it comes and try and stay strong for each other.
Hoping for the best outcome for you both.
xx

Oh Harley - what can we say?    We're here for you both anytime you need us.

{{hugs}}

Margot

Oh Harley what devastating news for you both .
Have been there too with my Mum, you go through each day in a dream so remember to take care of yourself too I'm sure people will be there  to help you with your dog .
Always here to listen...

Roni

Keep positive , I know it is easy to say.  Your dog may just be the thing that gets you through.

I'm so sorry for you both Harley.  There are no words I can offer to take away the pain, but your CD friends are always here any time you need to 'talk'.  xxx

Oh Un, I'll just be repeating everything everyone has already said! But you may find the doggie a good distraction and a tower of strength! They always seem to bring a smile to your face no matter what else is going on...all the best Hun, you have all our good wishes and love, Dawn XX

take care harley xx

So sorry to hear you're both going through this :( 
We went through this with my dad, one of the things that seemed to give my parents a lift was my old dog which we took to visit as they had lost their dog to old age ;) 

Take care of yourself as well as your hubby

{{{HUGS}}}

Dill

So sorry to read this Harley - you must be devastated right now and angry too that this has happened to you both :(

Try and stay positive - easier said than done I know but it is achievable.  If you need help whether practical or emotional ASK for it!  As HG says there's no point in trying to be Superwoman - human frailty in such difficult circumstances is neither shameful nor rare ;)

You'll have oodles of support on here as and when you need it - problems shared and all that - and everyone rooting for a bright future for you both.  Your dog may well be a concern re. visiting etc but also a source of comfort and distraction for you too.  I'm sure he'll adjust to whatever schedule is put in place even if changing on a day to day basis - they pick up on so much and are very sensitive to our needs and moods.  You'll be glad of that soft furry neck to snuggle into sometimes and a reason to make you go out and feel the breeze on your face and think private thoughts through without maybe causing your husband to be concerned for you. 

God bless, Teri x

More hugs from me too, and just keep taking it one day at a time.
Karen

Harley, I am so very, very very sorry. :( Lots of hugs.

I'm so sorry Harley - that's really devastating news for you both. You know we're here for you to let off steam at when you need. Life's just so unfair sometimes, isn't it? As for managing the hospital visits etc - don't worry, it will work out okay and you'll manage.

So sorry to hear you news {{{hugs to both of you}}}

What awful news for you both ,take care of yourself as well as your other half . Your dog will be a great comfort to you both and will sense when you need an extre lick or a cuddle .
We are allways here Harley if you need us
love and hugs to you both
Sharon xxx

I'm so sorry Harley. What devastating news after so long in remission. You need to concentrate on each other now. Your dog will be a good listener and will cope with the situation. There's just no words really - but there are lot of people here who will be good listeners.

Thank you all for your replies, they are much appreciated. We haven't told our youngest daughter the full extent of the problem as she is just about to sit her A levels and now is not a good time to have to deal with all that - not that there ever is a good time -  she just knows that we have to go to London and see another oncologist. I have told our son but my OH can't talk about it at all at the moment so there is this horrible false cheerfulness going on when inside everyone feels terrible but nobody wants to say the wrong thing so won't  mention it until OH is ready. It was nice to have some time to myself this morning when walking the dog in the woods and I didn't have to pretend at all to the dog.
My thoughts are also with those of you who are also dealing with the same troubles. Thanks for listening.
Lizzie