I am awful with phones

After a long wait, I am now so close to getting the pup of my dreams. A few years ago my parents set the year 2006 as the year I could get my next dog. It seemed a long way away then, but I have been researching the breed (Tollers), visiting shows, finding the dogs I like etc. I found out in July last year that a repeat mating was being done of a breeding that produced a very successful litter - I had met many dogs from this litter and I loved them all. I asked the stud dog owner about it (she was keeping the waiting list for the litter) and she told me that there were already 9 people on the waiting list. She had 6 pups last time and that's the average litter size in the breed so I didn't have much hope. Instead I found someone who was breeding a litter from the same stud and got onto their waiting list.
Well, at Crufts this year I found out the bitch I was originally interested in has had her litter... 10 pups! 7 dogs and 3 bitches - I want a dog. And there were dogs left over without homes lined up.
So of course, I asked about it! I found out I would get 3rd pick of the boys and the stud dog owner said she would be delighted if I got one of the pups. So my name is down for a pup :D
They are 12 days old today, I have seen photos and I am in love!

Anyway, I rambled on a bit there. I made this post because... the breeder just phoned me. I have severe social anxiety and I was so nervous - in fact, I'm still shaken up now and it's an hour since she called. Whilst on the phone I managed to drop the phone twice and bang the door against the wall quite loudly for good measure. My voice was very shakey and I think I only managed to answer with single words.
I think the stud dog owner told the breeder about my anxiety, but still I'm so worried that I didn't make the grade for one of these pups.
We are going to see the litter on the 9th of April, I think they will be 4 weeks old. Of course I'm looking forward to meeting the pups and the bitch (I have met her before but only briefly) but I'm very nervous about meeting the breeder. She seems very nice and very caring, but again I tend to mess up when I'm speaking to people, especially about things that are so important to me.

Wish me luck...

(I put a photo of the pups in my profile if anyone wants to see, I hope it's allowed :))

I would write her a letter before you go and explain your hopes and dreams for this puppy, how you plan to take care and train him, (hope to show him?) and explain your difficulty about meeting people, so that she has time to understand all this before you get there.

You've been to shows, talked to breeders and the stud dog owner, so you've already done very well!  This pup may well be just what you need to conquer it once and for all!! :D

Ah Bekki hope it all works out

I didn't make it to Crufts in the end as you would have got a call on your mobile ;)

Lots of Luck Bekki :D
and a big fat (((Supportative hug)))) :D
agree with the others if there was anything you feel you didnt get a chance to say, email or write to breeder (most of the spoken word gets forgotten anyway ;) ) And much more people than you realise fear the phone...
will go look at piccys now..cant wait :D
Lots of love, chin up xxx

Hiya Bekki,
Well your post certainly convinced me how much you care and would love this pup so email or write to her and explain as you have to us lot !!

Good Luck
and huskygal I's gonna take a lickle luk too !!!!

Roni

Thank you so much everyone :)

I never thought of a letter, that could work! Unfortunately the breeder doesn't have email, that's why I've been doing all this through the stud dog owner who does have email.
Val, yes I want to show :) I haven't shown in breed classes before, but I used to show my crossbreed in companion shows a lot and that's where I was bitten by the showing bug! I also want to do agility, and maybe dabble in some gundog work.
Yes... good things to put in a letter (I just wrote litter instead of letter... puppies on the brain!!) I think!
Thanks again :)

Bekki, as everyone has said, sit down and write your letter to the breeder....

Last Summer I had a young boy (and his family) on my waiting list....the pup was primarily for the boy, pretty much a similar situation to yourself...he was also autistic...I homed my pup to him just over 3 months ago, and they have been back to visit (just last weekend)....he is a wonderful owner and I am delighted with the progress of my pup and am so pleased that she went to a great home.....

I am sure you will be a great owner too, and I think the breeder of your pup will understand and be more than willing to help and give guidance.

Wishing you all the best of luck with your new pup when he arrives :D

you are obviously gonna be a great dog owner, dont think you would have ruined your chance of getting a pup, the breeder should understand.

im wishing you the best of luck, bet you cant wait to see the pups!!

xx

Bekki, I'm just like you -cannot MAKE phone calls at all, don't even call my parents, and I hate answering the phone. I too thought as soon as I'd read your post that a letter would be great.

I did all the preliminary enquiries etc about the stud dog I've used this time via letters as the owner didn't have email, and she was fine about it (had the added advantage of having everything that was said in writing LOL) -then when it got to the time to go for mating my husband called to say the bitch was ready, and once we were there the stud owner could finally talk to me and see I was quite okay, it really was just phones that was the problem.

I also hate calling people I don't know very well - I really don't know why.  I'm not socially anxious when in person with someone and I don't mind speaking on the phone to family or close friends - I just hate the phone for talking to strangers.  I LOVE email :)   I would write the breeder a snail mail letter - it only takes a few days to get there.  When you go to visit, try to take someone with you - your parents or a friend or something.  If you clam up and get shy, the other person can keep the conversation going and take the focus of it, while you get back some composure and until you feel ready to enter the conversation again.

I didn't realise so many people didn't like using phones!
But I am the same with people whether I'm talking over the phone or in person. I think my parents and younger sister are coming with me to visit the pups but I'm not certain - my dad will have to come because I need someone to drive me there! I'm worried though because my family aren't really into dogs, so they'll probably embarrass me more than I'll embarrass myself!
I do usually let my parents speak for me, which I suppose isn't the best way to get over my anxiety! But this is one situation where I can't do that.

dont worry too much now about it, you will know before you go there what questions you need to ask, maybe write a little list, and go from there. i suffer with panic attacks and depression, occasionally i cant talk to people. i cope by having a mental list of what to say and go from there.

hey- it may be good to have your family there- they can always fill in a silent moment with a silly question- but my last advice is to not worry about it now- save it till nearer and then the day before make your list, and hey- i think sometimes i say stupid stuff myself but only i really notice- because it doesnt really matter!

xx

I do usually let my parents speak for me, which I suppose isn't the best way to get over my anxiety! But this is one situation where I can't do that.

I can see this puppy making BIG changes for you Bekki!!  You're the one who's done the research, you're the one with the knowledge, you're the one with the questions (don't forget to write down anything you want to ask before you go - I have many prospective owners do that!)  - go for it girl! :D

Thanks Val, yes I see what you mean! I did hope that getting out and doing something with a dog would help me (Holly my crossbreed is as antisocial as I am, which isn't much help! As much as I love her :P). Already I'm making friends in the dog world and getting to know lots of Toller people. Apparently the owners of this bitches last litter have all become good friends - if it happens with this litter, that means 9 new friends for me! :D Well actually I already know 2 of them!

I can't really think of any questions to ask the breeder though - I have seen both the parents, I know their health test results, I know how well they have done in shows. What kind of things should I ask about the pups?

I'm so pleased for you bekki and I'm sure your commitment and dedication is just going to shine through when you see the breeder. As others have suggested do write a letter because you have already demonstrated that you can express yourself beautifully in writing.

PS. Of making phone calls I don't like them either. Which nobody believes because I've got a reputation for never being at a loss for words. In reality though, I prefer to use the phone as little as possible and when I do it's usually to make arrangements and not for conversations!

i have social phobia and other things aswell and my dog reallly helped me start talking because my parents just got it all wrong :D

when you go to the breeder have a few sentances worked out in your head to some questions you think she might ask then ;you can be slightly prepared even if it doesn't go very well.

i am sure you will do brilliantly. and goodluck in choosing your new pup

anna

I have social phobia too, and my dogs have helped me alot to get out and talk to people. A letter sounds like a good idea, as you will have time to say what you want to without getting flustered.
You seem to be doing great though Bekki, and I wish you the best of luck with your new pup- so pleased you are finally getting your Toller.  {{{hug}}}

Rachael

becky i to suffer really quite badly with both depression and SAD. freddie has been my life line and helped me know end as i now have to look after him and think of his needs and not get drawn into my own little world so much. i have problems with large groups of people and find it all overwelming. we have tried training school but that for various reasons has not worked out so i am in the prosses of finding another one. i wish you the best of luck with your dog and hope he becomes everything freddie is to me.

Hi Bekki, I think writing a letter is a great idea too. I know how long you have been wanting this little bundle so i hope everything goes well.....i'm sure it will. ;-)
Good luck and i just had a peek at the puppy pic.....WOW, what little cuties. :D
xxx

Hi Bekki,
            My friend is also getting a puppy out of this litter and is as excited as you !!!!!!!!
She already has a Toller and this will be her second..... She has also waited a long time for a puppy to become available from the right litter and is now ''chomping at the bit'' until she can bring him home.......
The breeder is lovely, so I wouldn't worry too much, she won't judge you on a phone call and neither will the stud dog owner.......
Have fun with your puppy and let us know how you are doing,
Gabrielle x

Is that Lou? I didn't realise she was getting a pup from this litter! I was planning on sending her an email soon, since she helped me so much in my initial search for a litter.

I was in a bit of a panic yesterday, now I've calmed down and I'm thinking straight! I realised that it is actually the stud dog owner (who is the secretary of the breed club) who is keeping the waiting list for this litter so it was her decision to allow me on the list. Of course if the breeder had any doubts she could drop me from the list, but I think it's pretty much decided.
I think I will still write a letter though :)

I'm so excited! I will definately keep you all updated with his progress - I will probably be asking for help! It's a long time since I've had a puppy!
By the way, I've chosen the name Felix. I keep looking at the photos and wondering which one he is :P

The breeder sent me some photos today - one of the bitch (she is so pretty!) and one of the bitch with her last litter (by the same stud as her current litter) when they were 2 years old. I'm so pleased I'm getting a pup from this litter :)

I started a letter, thanking her for the photos, but I'm really stuck. I don't know what else to write!
Here is what I've written so far:

>Thank you for the photos you sent - I have not seen that photo of Gypsy before, she is stunning! It was suggested to me that I write you a letter, as I have social anxiety and I tend to get nervous when speaking to people (face to face or on the telephone!). I'm really looking forward to meeting the pups

That's all I have so far.

I should probably say something about my plans for the pup, but I have told all this through email to the stud dog owner who has probably passed it on to the breeder. Should I bother with it? I don't want to end up writing my life story - I often do that in emails!

Hi Bekki,

don't worry about repeating yourself to the owner of the bitch :)  S/He is the breeder after all and will be delighted to learn directly as much about you as possible.  By all means give your life story LOL - I'm sure s/he will be really thrilled that you've taken the time and completely understand as well as be grateful that you're excited!

Good luck, Teri 

Lol...>dont want to end up writing my life story< ;)

yep,Beks I think..if you want to, you should put down your plans for the pup, even though you say youve told the Stud Dog owner and theyve prob. passed it on.....Because a letter now is quite personal, (compared to quick emails and texts that we now have) I think it will be nice for the breeder..I know I'd really like that. :D
good luck, and counting down the days!! :D

Bekki calm down you will be fine, just take a huge breath! :D :)

I can't wait to see more pictures of the litter!  You know I love the stud dog and one of the pups from the previous litter (although only seen him in photo's)

Give all the plans in the letter.  It would be better IMO to come from you (even if stud dog owner has already mentioned it) as it will confirm once again you are serious...

Btw once his house trainned can I steal Felix! :D

Totally agree, put whatever you wish down.  I have a couple of people like yourself who have done this and we've become really good friends.

Bekki i wishing you tons of good luck :-)  I am absolutley hopeless on the phone and meeting people for the first time. 
like everyone else has said i think a letter would be a great idea, i think i'd end up putting everything in it and i'm sure your pups breeder would be well pleased that you'd taken the time to explain how much this pup means to you. 

I can't wait to hear more news now :-)