I'm on the organ donor register. I've just had a huge row with a friend about this. He refuses to put his name down and won't even consider blood donation. He just says that he doesn't want to. I pointed out that if one of his grandchildren needed an organ transplant he would hope and expect some kind person on the register to die, probably in an accident, and that a transplant would save the child. He agreed that he would. I find this so selfish and I can't understand it. It's not that he thinks he's tempting fate, he says he just doesn't want to. Was I wrong in telling him that if he ever needed a transplant I didn't think he should get one ?.
How do others feel ?.
Val

Definitely agree with you :)

I started giving blood because my father had a ruptured aorta many years ago and required mega blood transfusions. When I'm dead I don't care what happens to my body - they can do what they like with it :D :D

Daisy

Many men (my husband and son included) are afraid of blood tests and needles - maybe that's the problem  :D :D

I think it has to be an entirely personal decision.

I think it's a response made out of fear. Although I'm not any more, I was in the past, an Intensive Care nurse for 23 years. As such, I nursed a number of patients that had were organ donors at the end of their lives. I can certainly assure anyone that is in any way concerned, that there is no chance of recovery for the donor, at the point where permission is given for donation of any organs.

There is a strict set of brain stem death tests, that have to be perfomed with the agreement of two independant medical practitioners on two separate occasions. Patients must fail these tests both times. Either the family agrees to donate or they don't. Either way it's still a case of switching off the life support.

I think it is understandable that some people just can't bear to think about it. In nursing you just have to try to be non-judgemental, even if it means sometimes saying something that you don't mean.

Dawn R.

They can take whatever bits of me they like when I'm dead. But they probably won't want my liver :D

Edited to say: Another advantage is that if I donate my organs there is no chance of me being buried alive - so I can tell my husband he doesn't have to bury me with a mobile phone and a flask of brandy when I'm gone. Cool :D

I always have that fear, that I'm buried alive - good idea on taking a mobile :D :D (can you get a signal underground?
I have often thought about being a donor, maybe I should do something about it instead of just thinking.

Dee

Mobile, sticky up ariel out through a hole in the coffin and up through a tube, torch, book and flask to calm my nerves :D

:D

It's an entirely personal decision. I'm a blood donor and am on the bone-marrow donor list. I don't know how I feel about organ donation. My son's decided that he doesn't want his organs to be donated when he dies, and that he's not interested in receiving a transplant should he need one. I think I agree.

I'd have no problem with that either - if he doesn't agree with it, that's fine - he doesn't expect a donation either :) Not everyone is the same however :)

Daisy

I wonder if he really, really would refuse if his life was truly on the line? Its easy to say when you are not in those circumstances, but in a few years with a wife and children of his own.... ;) Would he then change his mind JG do you think?

I don't know - he's very stubborn. (Can't imagine where he gets that from! ;)) Let's hope the situation never arises. :)

can't think either :D

Nice to hear so many views, thank you.
I have to admit, although I'm on the register I have agreed to everything except corneas. I guess it's something to do with me feeling that my eyes are on the outside and are 'me' if that makes sense. I guess that makes me selfish in a way as I would hope that a transplant would be available if I were to ever need it.

I'm a regular blood donor and I have told my family that they can consent to any useful bit of me being donated after I'm gone.

OK, so what do folk think about Face Transplants?

Well I don't want Jodie Marsh's

LMAO. I doubt you'd get much mileage out of it.

You wouldn't want mine either!!!:D :D :D

Well i wouldn't mind Charlize Therons face :D.

I won't go on the register and am totally against organ transplants after seeing what my aunt went through with her 3 kidney transplants, gangreene in her legs and buttocks, losing her hearing due to the anti rejection drugs, horrific pain from the surgeries and the fear of rejection only to die from a transplanted kidney that was cancerous like she said at the time of her terminal diagnosis there's worse things in life than kidney failure or not having anything to pee and this is it.

Its amazing really we raised funds to buy dyalasis machines for our local hospital only to have them both taken from the unit after the presentations to another hospital despite our protests that they were for local people, we got told erm no once they've been handed over they're the property of the NHS so go where WE want them not you!

My sister is a midwife and has spent time as an scbu nurse as well as in adult ICU and is in agreement with me, don't be offering me no transplanted organ let me die just once ta very much.  I have chatted with a few folk who've had transplants of the heart, liver, kidneys and corneas the only people who felt they gained largely were the cornea ones others if given the chance would not go thru it again.  I admit to being shocked at hearing this, one lady who had a liver transplant said for the first SEVEN years she prayed for death everyday but felt guilty for feeling that way and they all had the same fear of rejection or organ failure. I could relate to that part after suffering many miscarriages and the fear that came with every positive pregnancy test, if anything when it went wrong you relaxed again and got on with the process, same with my friends husband fighting cancer when they finally told him it was back and he was terminal all he could say was thank god for that it's over and I'll never have to grow old - he was 29 when he died.

Just to balance that, our best man had a kidney transplant about 18 years ago and is in fine health, far, far better than when he was ill and on dialysis.  He has reared two daughters to adulthood and now has his first grandchild to love when he gets the chance from his very responsible job which has taken him to America at present.
I still think its entirely a personal decision though :)

The daughter of a colleague of my father's (many years ago, I was a teenager at the time) was the first woman to have a child after having a kidney transplant :)

Surely that was better than just dying ?? :)

Daisy

I think it is a very personal decision.  I have to admit i am not on any donor list nor do i give blood.  I suppose I am guilty of the not wanting to think about it aspect.  However having read this thread and thinking about it I would have no problems giving blood, although its not easy for phlebotomists/nurses to get it from me :D.  I would have no problems giving bone marrow.  But organ transplant I'm really not sure.  It would be a definite no with anything to do with my eyes, they are the windows of your soul.  Its a very difficult subject I think.

I think it depends on your belief system and for me growing up around a lot of people who needed dialysis going to see auntie when she was in before she had the machine and cabin in the garden, I realised that dying ain't no big deal for those who do it just those of us left behind.

My late brother-in-law also had a kidney transplant. It gave him many good healthy years after many bad ones - he even had a beautiful daughter. Sadly, he died at 32 though illness - not directly related to the transplant but due to the years and years of treatment for all sorts of things. The transplant though, gave him a much better quality of life compared to the one he had before. 

I am on the Donor register...I was also on the Bone Marrow register, where I was called upon once for further tests, but not used unfortunatley. Now I believe I'm too old for the BM register?? I think I saw something once about people under 45?? However, I doubt they would want me now anyway...I can't give blood anymore because of the medication I am on...but if they wanted it they could have it!!! Me, I don't care about when I'm dead...I'll be in Heaven with a very large Southern Comfort watching everyone say 'Oh poor thing, so beautiful, so young(even if I'm 120!) LOL...maybe her poor husband can have a life now, doesn't she look a bit like Jodie Marsh??'!!! LOL :D :D :D

i give blood 2 -3 times a year, They wont let me not as I am B- which is second rarest(I think) And it is the one thing that i can do that will change lives, probably save someones life and firmly believe if you can give blood you should do :D . I am also on the bone marrow register and have been for over 10 years but have only been called for extra tests once, but not needed.
I have put on my driving licence that I will be an organ donor but to be truethful I dont know LOL I just think hopefully if anything does happen to me, then I wont miss them when I am dead LOL But if anything happened to my Parents i would say yes to their organs being donated, but dont think i could copoe with my sons organs being taken if anything happened to them. Yes strange but hey thats me!!
Lea :)

I have been on the organ donor register since I was 5 years old after seeing one of my mums friends going through kidney failure.My mum explained it all to me at the time and I said I wanted to give my organs to help others when I have gone.

I am sorry but I think this country should have the same rules as France.Over there you have to carry a card saying you do not want to donate as they are taken automatically.
I know a lot of people will think this is wrong but why?

At the end of the day,why should they go to waste? To be buried or cremated,when a life could be saved?
I wont be able to donate my lungs though as I am a smoker. (But if anyone wants them who isn't fussy,then they can have them :D )

I am sorry but I think this country should have the same rules as France.Over there you have to carry a card saying you do not want to donate as they are taken automatically.
Damn good idea!!! As people like me that are on the fence as to whether my organs should be donated wouldnt carry one. It is only the people that are 100% that will carry the card saying they are not allowed to take their organs. I would back that plan in this country 120%!!!!!
Lea :)

I agree with those who say it is a personal choice, my choice is not to, but then  doubt I have much worth re-cycling :rolleyes:

I give blood every 6 months and I am on the bone marrow transplant register (nearly had to give bone marrow 2 years ago but I better match was found). I am in the organ donation regsiter because as far as I am concerned once I am dead I will no longer need it. If anything happened to a close family member I would consent to organ donation

This has to be a personal choice. When my mother died she donated her body to medical science. She wanted her organs to be used, if they could, but due to the fact that she died of massage heart failure the only thing they could use were her corneas. My father ripped up his donor card, but both my brothers and myself are willing to donate anything. I don't know if I would want to receive anything though. The thought of someone else bits inside me turn my stomach a bit. I honestly don't know what I would do.

Lea- you're not strange at all :-)  I'm on the donor register and would gladly let them have whatever they wanted................but should one of my children die..........they would be buried exactly as I brought them into the world.  Funny though- I'm a B- too but they won't let me be a blood donor because I'm anaemic   Sorry but if I had the choice of dying through not getting blood or living and having a couple of iron tablets to take- I know which one I'd choose!  Anyway- if I never do need blood- they can come and hunt you down to 'lend' me a bit and vice versa ;-)

Stacey 

Val when my Dad died the only organs that were worth using were his corneas :) So guess what we donated ;)

I am on the register and they can use anything they find worth using :D

What use is it to you when you are dead

If I can help anybody live or give a better quality of life then I will when I die

Shame alot more people cannot see this as when you are dead then you are gone, end of story :)

I am on the donor register. Its also important to discuss your feelings on the matter with your nearest and dearest...even if you are on the register, your family can refuse consent for your organs to be donated. I told my mum n dad that if i was brain dead and they refused to let my organs be donated, I would come back and haunt them forever! I think they got the message! :D

I agree PK but I think the problems lies thinking that the organ of the loved one will be in an alien pers

>Maybe her poor husband can have a life now, doesn't she look a bit like Jodie Marsh??'!!!<

Wet myself laughing!!

If any part of me is still in working order after I go..Im more than comfortable with it being donated esp. if it gives its recipient  even half the Loves and Laughs Ive had in my life.
Pay it forward :D

LOL @ Dawn - newfiedreams -

I keep meaning to get a card but I know I would forget to take it out everywhere with me anyway.  The more important thing IMO is that my OH knows my thoughts on this subject as I know his. Anything happens, anything still useful made available.

As far as I know the last word still comes down to next of kin whether you carry card or not doesn't it?

I will try and remember to pick up a card next week ;)

i am on the national donor register, but the problem i have is my husband he said he does not think that he could give the go ahead, so all my girls even the youngest know my wishes that they can have anything and everything that can help someone, my youngest daughter is 11 and she has a friend that needed a kidney transplant a couple of years ago, and this made her want to be an organ donor, we explained things to her and she was fine with it, i am fine with the idea, but my OH is not, we have argued over this on more than one occasion and we will know doubt argue over our wishes again but it helps me to know i am on the national register and that my girls will back each other up .
i also have a living will and each of my girls have a copy and my mother and brother and this also causes arguments with OH
carol

I am on the National donor register & it is also on my will, but as my husband says that all I have left is a 'bit of offal', perhaps I am wasting my time! Tried to give blood once, but they wouldn't take it, as I take BP pills. OH hasn't put his name down, so think it must be a 'man thing'!

Thanks again. Interesting to read other views. I notice a couple of you mentioned that you would consider putting your names down.
This is a helpful site http://www.uktransplant.org.uk/ukt/how_to_become_a_donor/how_to_become_a_donor.jsp

I absolutely do not want any of my organs donated.  I also wouldn't take a transplant for myself, I would never give permission for any of my close relatives to be harvested either and I most certainly do not think we should be made to feel guilty or selfish about not wanting to donate.  Organ transplants are made out by the medical profession to be some kind of miracle cure that we all have to subscribe to otherwise we are somehow odd.  I think blood transfusions are totally different to organ transplants, your body does not react in the same way to transfused  blood (providing it's the correct type) and you don't have to take antirejection drugs for life. 

I've got no problem with that Storm, perfectly fair. What I object to is the friend I was talking about, admitting that he would accept a transplant for himself or a family member but would not agree to be a donor himself after his death.

Val

:rolleyes: pffffffttt some people :)

I respect your opinion Storm, but I was just wanting to clarify something. You said you would not  give permission for a relatives organs to be harvested.....can i ask if you would still refuse if the relative had specifically requested to be a donor? Are you saying you would go against that persons wishes deliberately?
The other thing I want to mention to everyone is that people may have one view now, when they are fit and well. Its difficult to imagine being close to death and leaving your loved ones behind.Ive worked with many dying patients. Most people facing death usually feel somewhat differently and would leap at a last ditch chance of survival,  sometimes more for the sake of their family, particularly if they have children.

Obviously this issue always has to come down to personal choice and I would never try to alter anyone's views on the matter.  Having said that, I implore the people who wouldn't mind being on the donor list but simply haven't got around to it to register if they possibly can.

A very close friend of mine from university has cystic fibrosis.  He's 27 and as a result of his condition has developed diabetes, osteoporosis and asthma.  He takes about 40 pills and undergoes 2 hours of intensive physiotherapy daily.  Despite the disadvantages he's faced with he's managed to complete a degree and although he cannot work (he's tried), he spends a great deal of time campaigning for various causes.  In the ten years I've known him, including two years living together, I have never seen any display of self-pity or anger at the hand he's been dealt.  Instead he's one of the kindest, most upbeat people I've ever met.

Thankfully my friend is not yet at the stage where he requires a transplant.  However when he does reach that point the chances are good that were he to receive a heart/lung transplant he would enjoy a significant number of extra years.

Please, please, if you're thinking about joining the donor list, then do so.  I realise that behind every successful transplant story lies the tragedy of a life lost, but should the worst happen, it could make all the difference to people such as my friend.

I think instead of the current, opt in scheme whcih can be over ruled by next of kin, we should have an opt OUT scheme, which cannot be over ruled by anyone.

Im quite happy for anyone to have anything ive got when im done with it. Id be absolutely LIVID if when i died, either of my parents or my OH over ruled my decision as to what happens to MY body.

Em

Strange this topic should come up around now!

Twenty years ago today, my partner had his life support system turned off and his organs were used for donation. I have to admit to being against organ donation, having thoughts of doctors stealing people's lives while there is still a chance of recovery :rolleyes: but my partner and I had watched programme on TV after which he spoke of his wishes that his body be used for transplantation should anything happen to him. It was myself and his Mother who approached the doctors once the results showed he had little or no brain cell response and I can honestly say that the staff were amazingly supportive and it didn't change their attitude to his "treatment" while further tests were carried out to confirm the first results.

Some organs were used. I can't honestly say if it helped us in our grief process at all, but I know we carried out his wishes and people who took the chance of life were hopefully given time with their families that they would otherwise not have had.