I would go for it with the nail technician option.  As others have said at least this way you can orgenise appointments around your life and have the option of when to work.  Good luck with whatever you decide :)

I worked full time with my first child and hated every minute of it.  My boss was horrible and kept telling me that "Woman with children should not be allowed it the work place.  They should be tied to the kitchen and stay at home"  He was such a lovely man LOL.  After paying for my wonderful childminder I had enough money for the groceries every week and the presents I bought Jessica every day because I felt guilty leaving her.  When I became pregnant with Jack I gave up work (I was signed off at 16 weeks pregnant because I was so sick) and have never looked back. 

I really enjoy not working and despite having very little money most months (my OH is self employed - some months we have loads of money the next none LOL) I think it is the right thing for us.  My husband does not want me to work and thinks I should be at home with the kids.  It means we go without quite a lot and we don't have as many foreign holidays as most of their friends but they are happy with that too.  I can take them to their extra lessons (Jessica is dyslexic) or their after school activities without any problems and I don't have to panic if one is sick and can't go to school.  But this is my choice I don't want to work at the moment.  I might in a couple of years.

I guess what I am trying to say is that if you really want to go to work, go for it (a lot of my friends hate staying at home)but if it is only for the money (which I know will help but isn't everything) and not something you really want to do, don't do it.  Enjoy the time you have with your kids.  Before long they will have left home and then you can work all the hours you like!

I was wondering for those of you girls who don't work..... how do you deal with planning your pension money for the future? Is there a minimum of years you have to work before you retire? Does it also depend on how many hours a day you were working and how much income you had? because in my country you have to work till you're about 65 or so and they take 10 best paid years of your working years and you get about 80% of what you were getting at that time.
I have to say I'd never trust any man enough to depend on his finances and risk my pension money....

If you don't go out to work because you have children to look after the years you receive Child Benefit (payable for every child no matter your income) are deducted from the number of years you need to work to get a full pension. I think you need to work 30-40 years for a full state pension.

Oh I see..... thanks for your reply ;). I think it might be a bit different over here. No wonder we're dying out in my country. Less and less people have kids or if they do, they have them very late..... it's a dog eat dog world out there and women have to try really hard to prove themselves. I think it's even worse in the US these days.

The State Pension is being fizzled down in importance to barely more than subsistance money, certainly by the time many people working now retire, so people are being encouraged to make their own provision anyway so I guess it is up to couples whether they will continue with an arrangement whereby one was the major income earner even after retirement.  Even as a widow I will be looked after by mine :) but then I have spent my life looking after him in other ways that financial :)  I'm not sure I would have married him in the first place if I did not feel I could trust him to continue to look after me in our twilight years although, incidentally, private pensions are of such significence in our country now that they have changed the law to give even divorced wives an entitlement from their exhusbands.
Woops, that sounds like I wouldn't have married a man that wouldn't provide for me what I mean is, referring to your comments about trust, I wouldn't have married a man that I didn't have that level of trust in.

I'm going to be a Tescos trolley tramp ;) 

I've been working fulltime since I left school aged 16.  I am now 33.  I have a 9 yr old son (who complains everyday that he has to go to a childminder), a husband and a large no. of pets (dogs, cats, rabbits and rats etc). I would love the option of being a stay at home Mum. But even with us both working full time we have less than £150 per month disposable income.  I say stay at home or go part time - you really don't want to run yourself into the ground by working full time (I have been off work for 6 weeks on sick leave as I am so run down from always being on the go). My normal working day starts at 5am when I get up in order to take dogs for walk before work.  Leave house at 7.30 to get son to childminder and me to work for 8am.  I come home in my lunchbreak to play with dogs and feed our puppy.  I finish work at 4.45pm, pick son up from childminder and then get home around 5.45pm.  Then its the never ending cooking, cleaning, ironing, packed lunches and of course another dog walk. I eventually sit down around 10.30pm.  It really is very tiring.  My husband is mostly at home during the day - he works from home.  But I feel - as a Mum that it is my responsibility to care for our son and all my pets. 

Shads, the more you do the more you are expected to do.  I found this at home and the workplace.  I have gradually over the past couple of years started off-loading some of the traditional housewife/mum duties and believe me I have found this to be a win win situation for everyone.   There have been occasions when I have been working on an assignment and OH has been sitting in living room only to appear to ask when dinner was. I realised then that I had got lost in the roles I had taken on.  It wasn't easy but I made it clear that there had to be time for me to do the things that were important to me for once.  Husband can now cook a fab roast and better spag bol than me plus many other culinary delights he has thought up himself.  Both he and son have had to learn to iron on the odd occasion and I think this is good for them as well as me.

There is no way I would have worked full time and done all the household chores by myself. I have said to OH in past that when I work full time I will have someone come in to help with housework.  The alternative to that is for him to properly share the load so the ball is in his court.  Why can't OH take son to school most days? why can't son look after all the small pets? or are they just yours?

Now don't do the expected and start defending OH because it's obvious you are doing far far too much

I have to agree with you CherylS. Partners are there to help each other and respect each others free time as well. If it was all up to a woman, imagine how it would be like....... I mean imagine, you have to work full time, take care of the kids, pets, cook, clean and do all the shopping. And then in the end of the day, you have to be there all sexy and ready for "party time". :rolleyes:
There's not one single thing a woman can do and men can't. And the other way around as well..... women can do anything they want to do these days. My mom thought me and my brother same things, because she thought the son has to contribute just as much as a daughter. After all, he will be someone's husband one day and I'm sure that woman will be very glad that my mom raised such a responsible, modern guy that can take care of himself.

I mentioned trust earlier on........ I'd love to trust people (specially my partner) 100%, but I can't even trust myself in that way. Human mind is more complicated than anything in this world (believe me, I'm a psychologist ;) ) and there is no certainty. You can not rely on anyone but yourself. I have known people that had lived together for 25-30 years and everyone thought they were perfect and meant to be. They turned 45-50, kids were gone and the guy suddenly realized she wants to live with someone else. What can you do? You spent your life taking care of other people and now you're left with nothing. it's a sad situation and I wouldn't want anyone to go through that, but unfortunately it happens........

If it was all up to a woman, imagine how it would be like....... I mean imagine you have to work full time, take care of the kids, pets, cook, clean and do all the shopping. And then in the end of the day, you have to be there all sexy and ready for "party time".
Hey thats me!!!!! And i am single LOL
(Well it is when I am seeing someone, but am single at moment so doesnt really apply :( )
Lea :)

Lea, I admire you!!! Well done, you must be a super-woman ;) ......

I work fulltime but all responsibilities for children, dogs and chores are a joint venture between me and my OH :D

It would never work otherwise ;)

It is mad and there is never dull moment ! :D

well i only work 4 days a week!!!! So not quite as bad as it sounds LOL
But not super women, Its a case of having to!!!!!!! I chose to have kids (granted I thought i would be with their dad alot longer than I was) chose to have dogs and rabbits and live in a 3 bed house.And choose to work!! No one forced me!!! At the moment the doctor will sign me off, and with everything I would be better off signed off on the sick, but I would rather be working!!! How many people can say that LOL
Was harder when kids were small but now they do more.
And my house stays clean and tidy most of the time LOL
Lea :)

I must admit that I do worry about burning the candle at both ends........I have arthritus in hips and lower spine and have already had one hip replaced (11 years ago aged 22). I do manage ok day to day but I struggle with walking and spending time on my feet and some days I'm in so much pain that I'm like an old lady. I know that a full day in work then coming home to housework ect would be far too much and would do my health no good whatsoever. Maybe it's just me but I have very little self worth and often think perhaps it would boost me to work and contribute financially, this oppertunity has arose and really made me think but if i'm honest, I don't think that I could hack it.

Going back to work part time after 3 children were born did no end to boost my confidence even though it was a cr*p job. A lot of the women I worked with were in the same position as me i.e. mums.  I made some great friends who I still meet up with regularly for "Ladies Wot Dine" evenings :D and all our children are more or less grown up.  Going back to work then gave me the confidence to do a college course and you just go from strength to strength.  Think about what you really want to do whether it be stay at home or part time work and then plan how you will go about it i.e. CV, applications, etc or look into how you could start up your mobile nail job. Nail art etc is hugely popular now so perhaps this would be a good time to start. Start looking in the locals and see if anyone else is doing it in your area? 

Well if it were me I would work, part time if poss to start with or even work from home.  You need your independance, I wonder why your husband doesnt want you to work? 

I know if it was me I would work, I wouldnt want to loose my independance and be dependant on a man, sorry folks but thats just me.  What happends down the line for example if your husband was made redundant and couldnt work, were would the income come from? 

At the end of the days its your decision and you have your hubby and children to think about, I am onyl offering a different perspective on things. 

Despite being fiercely independent, not believing in traditional roles (whatever they are!!) and never wanting to depend on a man to provide an income I still welcomed the chance to stay at home with my children for a few brief years. I was lucky that this was possible because I had an inheritance and used the capital as the income I would have earned. However, by the time my eldest son was at school (four and a quarter) I was more than ready to return to "proper" work as opposed to the various things I'd done voluntarily to keep my hand in. Even so, I was reluctant to go full time at the outset and took a part-time, part year job at the local University which filled the gap perfectly.

Domestic circumstances meant that I brought my sons up single-handedly and for those years I worked at building a career in order to earn a serious income that would support us. Luckily the boys were slightly older by then and I don't think they suffered tremendously since it was me who carried any burdens of guilt that were going spare. But then motherhood is probably the most guilt-ridden profession you can take up anyway!

I get the impression that you aren't ready to go full-time yet, luvhandles and that your consideration is more about making up any shortfall in your household income rather than a real desire to take the job. So my advice is to go with your instincts and perhaps work part time if possible or, better still, go self-employed as a nail technician.  So far as disposable income is concerned, it can be surprising just how much you need to spend on actually going to work - "hidden" stuff like lunches, office clothes, travel expenses, extra-large capuccinos to wake the brain up at elevenses(!) and the like - and I know when I was ill-health retired after mangling my foot the first time around I worked out that I saved £10,000 a year immediately.

I know it's terribly easy to say money isn't the most important thing when you've got the luxury of being able to trot out that particular cliche but for all that, there are still some qualities of life that are very precious but which can't be bought by money.  

I had a career before I met my husband, had  mortgage, car etc, totally indpendant. I always worked, and continued to do so after marriage. but, when we started family we decided that my job would be to raise our children, and this I have done, while he works long hours to support us, and I think he's fab! I am a 'mumsy' mum, and my personal opinion is that im providing a strong foundation for our boys, but that is not in any way to critise anyone who has to work, or who would feel totally trapped being in the home bringing up children. we all do things our own way, in which we feel suits our family best. Had I not had children, there is no way on this earth i would have stopped working, being at home would have driven me mad, and i liked the lifestyle my earnings gave us. I always managed to work and keep a clean (although not always tidy) home, and sometimes the iorning did pile up a bit!  I can more than understand your worries regarding the lower income, it only takes a rise in interest rates, or council tax, to give the finances a severe bashing. As it is a family business, would there be a way you could try working, see if it works, with the option to stop if its more than you can manage? Part time sounds the better option, at least till you get back into the swing of things, you would know how well you can cope with those hours to give you a better idea of how full time would suit. Could you go temping? or, if your not sure of taking on the commitment of paid employment, what about helping at a charity shop, that would give you adult interaction, without the work commitment, and you wouldn't have to do it every day? the other thing, is how will you swing school holidays? Will you have to pay for child care (I don't think a 14 yr old should be left alone all day) so would you have to pay for both, or will family help out? There are many school holiday clubs now, where working parents can leave their kids, but this still has to be paid for. And usually, the age cut off is 12, so that still leaves supervision needs for the 14 yr old. good luck in whatever you decide, this is a hard one.