Hi,
I am currently a stay at home mum of two boys aged 14 and 8. I haven't worked since my youngest child was born. There is a job oppertunity coming up within our family business 9am - 5pm Monday to Friday and I really don't know what to do for the best. I do think getting back into work would be good for me as I spend too much time alone and I am becoming a very bored housewife and the money would definately be great as we are moving house in the next couple of weeks and our mortgage will increase by £300 per month leaving us only £600 disposable income (this will rise by £1000 pm if I take the job). I am worried about childcare during school holidays - term time is ok as I can still do am school run and my parents will do the pm school run and care for the boys until 5pm. I also worry about fitting in all housework ect on top of work (although I do realise that other people do manage) and then there's pooch although I could take him to work with me or arrange care for him. My husband really doesn't want me to work, he says that I do enough as wife and mum and we do manage financially. I just don't know what to do for the best, what would people do in my position? I realise that this is a decision that only I can make but I'd love to hear other peoples veiws and experiences of juggling work with family life.

Hayley

How about part-time?  A perfect compromise giving you a little independence but not putting on too much pressure! :)

Great minds...........:)

Does it have to be full time?  As it is a family business is there no scope for part-time hours?

Or a job share if you could find another like minded mum :)

>My husband really doesnt want me to work, he says that I do enough as wife and mum and we do manage financially.<

All i can say is what a sweet husband

>I am worried about childcare during school holidays<

You will only need childcare for the youngest,wont you.

How do you feel deep down about going back fulltime? It will be a massive life change,you will essentially have 2 fulltime jobs,home and work,unless you have one of those rare hubbies who will split everything down the middle :)

Personally,if i could,i would start out at part time and go from there,you may not want to go ahead to full time.

That would be perfect for me but the position would have to be full time replacing the lady leaving. It's such a big step and I'm frightened of biting off more than I can chew so to speak.

But if you suggested 2 people share the job they would have cover during holidays and sickness etc  - they wouldn't have to pay any more either :)

I think it would be unfair to expect Gary (husband) to share household tasks as he works 6 days per week very long hours although I do know that he would do his fair share on his day off. Another option is taking the youngest to work with me during holidays (both me and hubby would be there) and booking all our hols to tie in with school hols. This is not going to be easy, I'm a real mumsy mum if you know what I mean and I take great pride in our home and I don't want to deprive my children of the care that they are used to in any way - does that make sense?

my mum somehow manages full time job, 10 and 14 yr old girls, 3 dogs (at the moment 8 2wk old pups too), 2 cats and feeds them ALL everyday- including making packed lunches for em as well. and also has a life too- fishing, beating/flushing, and shooting. so i believe it is possible but you need to do some serious organisation and your family needs to realise the extra work on you.
my sisters are great, the 14 year old comes home and lets the dogs out etc, and makes sure alls ok for little sister- i used to do the same- i used to do the school run with them at aged 12 - 17! we liked it as we didnt feel mothered all the time.

its best to talk as a whole family and see what they think xx

I have a full time job and I have 1 husband, 3 kids: 12, 6 and 7 months, 2 Great Danes and 5 horses :D I work from home though and skive a lot :D

Yeah get a job from home, i did it for years and then went back to an office job (soon be working from home again)

my mum once skived to go shopping with me for my birthday and someone saw her, called her boss and they sacked her!!

thats the hard bit, especially for mum who wants to earn money for her family, yet wants to enjoy us too at same time, i'd love to find her a job so she can work from home.

They know I skive - but seeing as me and my 3 team mates make them 2.5million quid a year in sales they turn a blind eye :D

How do you get a job from home though?  I would love one and it would help ease the back pain I suffer from driving (In my job) & lifting heavy items.    If anyone has any help it would be really appreciated before I have to give up because of bad health.

I wouldnt mind one of those jobs filling envelopes but I can never find anywhere that does it??

Look very carefully at exactly what is entailed with envelope stuffing.  It is a lot of work for very little reward. Poorest workers are homeworkers and are not covered by min wage Act I think.

I was lucky. I used to work out of the office when I lived in Hull - then they opened a Southern office. We all went in there for a few months then they shut it and let us work from home - its brill!

Good for you!  Don't fancy be a martyr meself either :)  My advise to you, Hayley is try to get it down to the hours that would suit you in terms of getting out and stimulating your brain abit but don't go the route of so many woman of trying to do it all, if you can possibly help it.  A bit of hedonisism never did anyone anyharm and you are only in for this life once :)

Thanks everybody for taking the time to reply. Another option would be becoming a mobile nail technician. I trained 3 years ago and providing that I built up a healthy client base, then I could choose my hours and the pay is very good - £25 per full set taking 1 hour........the only thing that worries me there is book work and sorting my own tax/PAYE ect I have a lot to think about, think I may be going through a mid life crisis

Go for the nails again you can slot it in then ....sorry must have posted at the same time.

That's the answer!!!  Be self employed.  There are book keepers everywhere who will help you do your books.  Just save every receipt and they'll tell you what to do with them! :)

OOH Dont do it, not full time! Too many people do it and I just dont believe it is worthwhile. It is great to be part time, enough to be part of the outside world, but once you rely on the extra income you may find yourself trapped into it.
Its easy for me to say say as I only do term time. But be good to yourself there are too many 'super women' already and I just dont believe they are happy. In fact I dont know how anyone can be happy with that stress. Life is too short and material things just dont have to be so important. And no I dont have much but prefer to have time with family ( not good at the housework bit though).

Too true :) I haven't worked full-time since I've had the children (nearly 23 years). Even teenagers need their mum around some of the time. I'd never have felt happy leaving mine at home all the school holidays - even though they never gave me any trouble. JMO :)

Daisy

I haven't even got the excuse of children, not even teenagers :D

I could never stay at home doing nothing :D I have had a few short periods, in between jobs, when I've been at home full-time - but I did less then than I did when I was working :D I've always liked to contribute financially as well. Now my hubby isn't working, I can repay him for the years that he worked very hard for us :)

Daisy

Who stays at home doing nothing! :p  I've got a social life to run you know :D.  Actually I do do the odd bit of part-time but for several spells of my married life I've had no paid employment at all.  But my hubby works long hours, at one time in shifts, so we both reckoned it would be better for both of us if my job was to run the domestic side of things. I also look after all the finances and have been a pretty good investor over the years ;)  Whatever, he seems to thing I've made a good enough job of my end of things 'cos we have outmarried a heck of a lot of our contempories that took at different route :)

LOL - Isabel :D Seriously, everyone is different anyway. The more time I have, the less that I do - so having a part-time job (well, I work 4 days a week now) is essential for me in order to prioritise the things that I must do, like the housework :D

Daisy

I am rubbish at housework. My time is better spent working and paying my mum to look after the children and do the housework :D I pick them up from school and bring them back home with me though so it works really well :)

Both my parents and my OH's were over a hundred miles away, so I had no-one to help me with my children or the housework :( Despite having a five bedroom detached house, I've never had a cleaner either - that's why I've never worked full-time  :D Even thought the children have (mostly) left home now and hubby is home all day, it still takes me most of the weekend to do the housework (maybe the problem is hubby making all the mess) :( One day it will get easier - or so I tell myself :D

At the moment we are having new windows put in - hubby is installing three new bathrooms and I am 'hosting' FIL's funeral on Friday :( :( Just hope that the people at the 'wake' don't mind the dust :D

Daisy

I just can't bear doing it, I'd rather sit and have a cup of coffee and read a magazine and promise myself "I'll hoover in a minute" :D I can't stand doing it - I get no sense of achievement from it and my house would be a tip if it weren't for my mum. My yard and fields are immaculate though :D :D

I'm the same.  I haven't got a Mum so my house is a tip

trouble is, *I* don't mind that my house is a tip - its just other people seem to :D

And what business might it be of their's :)

Well, there is that. Funnily enough my mum is incredibly houseproud and she tells me that I am raising my children wrongly by not making them keep the house immacuate :D I suggest to her that it made not a jot of difference to me being raised in laboratory conditions - as I traipse across the carpet in muddy boots :D

Thank goodness you are there to help build up their resistance

OH doesn't mind about mess (he makes most of it anyway :( ) How can one man make so much mess ?? I HATE housework :( But I hate the thought of people thinking the house is a tip - they probably don't, but it doesn't stop me worrying me about it ( I spend my life worrying about what other people think :(

Daisy

I HATE housework  But I hate the thought of people thinking the house is a tip - they probably don't, but it doesn't stop me worrying me about it ( I spend my life worrying about what other people think
Ditto which is why when I am not working I am making sure my house is tidy, just in case my landlord or anyone else come round!!!!!!!
Lea :)

Only Dull women have immaculate houses :D
or at least thatttttttttts what Ive brain washed my OH with ;)

Lucky man to have such a wise wife.  Never let him forget it :)

HA HA!! Yes!! There are people like me out there, who would rather sit down and read horse and hound than hoover up the straw hay etc on the carpet!!

OH not impressed though says i should be able to do more,i always use the kids as an excuse (3 1/2 and 10 months) the 3yo is too 'helpful' and the baby cries if i do hoovering/ironing! ;-) As it's him  that brings all of the straw in i can't help it can i?! At least i work in the afternoons so thats good as well cos i get home after him. Mustn't complain though as he has always tidied up, hoovered, got the childrens tea ready and run their bath and is normally in the process of making me a cup of tea. Oh, and he has walked the dogs! But my excuse then is that i COULD do all of that if i didn't have the children :D

This method works for a while, then we have a huge row and i act the dutiful wife part for a few days then back to normal!!

BTW my mother is EXCEPTIONALLY houseproud and i always dread what she will think when she comes round!!

Hmmm, I know what you mean poloaussie. I am happy at home most of the time although I go through phases of feeling worthless and wasted at home when I could be out there earning, but then the children won't be children for ever and there's nothing stopping me from going back to work when I know that I've given them my all throughout their childhood. I also agree that money isn't everything but £600 per month disposable income scares me a little

I brought my daughter up single handed as I was divorced when she was 2 years old.  I only ever worked part time and once self employed it was brilliant!  She'd help me work twice as hard in the school holidays and then we'd have a couple of days off doing exciting things!  I was always around, teaching her to be independent and worldly, even through her teenage years and I'm sure that was a contributing factor why she's grown up like she has and been no trouble at all! :)

Balance is the answer luvhandles, balance in everything! :D

Thanks again folks! It's great to hear other peoples opinions and experiences

Hayley x

Good luck with whatever you decide and of course you can always suck it and see :)

I just read all your posts....LOL, it took me ages ;). I have to say I was raised in a family where both my parents worked full time and when they got home they both started cooking and cleaning, helping us with homeworks and so on. It was always 50/50 with my parents..... that's what I've always known and that's what i expect from my partner. I need a partner, lover and father of my children, not another child to take care for. Therefore I expect to bring home just as much money as him and share everything equaly...... just wanted to tell how I see this world ;).

The important thing is that we don't waste our lives doing what we don't really want to if we can possibly help it :).  It's good you have found the way that's right for you although I reckon if you came to our house for a meal cooked by my husband and then I drove you home in a car on which I had changed the brake pads you might see why we are better not following your lead :p

LOL Isabel!!! That's a good one...... I agree though. As long as you do what you like doing and you're good at, it's fine. I myself will never cook (have tried a few times and believe me it doesn't work out :rolleyes:), my brother on the other hand is great at it. He loves doing it too.......

I worked part-time from when youngest was 2 but it was an evening job.  Not ideal on the marital front as we didn't see much of each other during the week (some might say that is ideal :P) Was good for the kids though because they had a stay at home mum during the day and I thoroughly enjoyed the times I had with them.  However, it can get lonely and boring being at home with children all day and so I was grateful for the job from that aspect.

When my son was 9 I went to college part time, and still working part time and of course mum's duties and housework etc.  This progressed into full time uni, part time work and mum etc and to tell the truth I think my son missed out a bit. I didn't have so much time for him as I had when my days were free even though he was at school most of the time.  This could be just guilt on my part because he is 15 now and a gorgeous level headed sensible lad and doesn't show any signs of being deprived :)

Luvhandles I think you sound like you're already talking yourself out of working fulltime and as you have reservations I wouldn't bother with the fulltime work.  The nail work you mentioned sounds ideal, you can fit this around your lifestyle and school holidays etc.  You can always pay someone to do your books or even do a college course on the side to learn how to do it yourself.  As for housework, it's over-rated and too many people spend too much time worrying over dust.  My mum offers to come and clean my house and I just laugh and tell her no.  My dad pointed out all the dog nose prints on my patio doors the other day and again I just laughed and said yeah, will have to clean that.  Then we both laughed knowingly ;) :D

you sound like you want to work so why not compromise & get yourself some part time work? That way hubby will be happy, dog wont be deserted, kids will still get to see you, housework still gets done & there is a bit of extra money as well!