Has anybody got any kind of help for me..
Yesterday i had to have my 13 yr old staffie 'charlie' put to sleep
and ever since i keep crying uncontrollably
I know its early days but i really thought it was time... he had battled with lymphoma for almost 3 years which from time to time i posted about
I miss him so much and i cant ever imagine life ever being the same again
I made him believe he was going for a walk and happily went...
he did cross to the otherside peacefully although i was talking to him and telling him i loved him and will he wait for me etc im distraught that they muzzled him... :(
I am so badly hurting and the way i feel now is so bad
I said to my husband i wanted him back and my husband said he didnt coz then he would be suffering
Still it doesnt help...

Anyone? please

Donna x
Charlie r.i.p till we meet again

I am so very sorry.

Nobody can ease your pain and indeed the pain shows how much you loved Charlie.
He never suffered any pain,neglect,starvation or the cold for that he has you to thank.

You did the bravest most unselfish thing a human can ever do for a dog.
You released him from future pain.
I always think its better a day to soon than a day to late.

Grieve for Charlie,he is watching you and knows you love him.

You will feel better, just not right now. The crying will get less and slowly you will think about your Charlie with a smile instead of buckets of tears. You know you did the right thing for him , it is a hugh loss   you are going through
HTH DD.

Thank you both..
I am again in floods of tears

I know deep down time will heal the pain... i just dont want to feel guilty for misleading him
Its so so hard

Donna x
Charlie r.i.p till we meet again

Donna, you didn't mislead Charlie - it was another part of the kindness you did for him that you made his journey to the vet a pleasant one and didn't cause him to be anxious.

I an ideal world our much loved pets would live a similar life time to ourselves and pass over to a better place quietly in their sleep - if God made any error in the dog it was that they don't.

I firmly believe Charlie and all our darling friends are instantly taken to the Elyssian fields where they romp, play and have angels for cuddles and we WILL be together again - Heaven without them simply wouldn't be Paradise ;)

Your own pain and suffering has only just begun but try and focus on the fact that for Charlie all that is a distant memory.  It will take a long time for you to learn to live without him but in the course of time it will be happy memories of him that immediately spring to mind and not just the last hours with him.

Sending big cyber hugs to you.
God Bless, Teri xxx

Words can be of little comfort at this time Donna but I would like to offer my empathy, sadly we all know how you're feeling too well.

(((((((((((((((( Donna )))))))))))))))))  It WILL get better.

Donna, I am on my way out right now but I wanted to say I am thinking of you and it WILL get better.

You have given him the ultimate gift in love, and this pain is what you have to bear because you relieved his. Stay strong x

So sorry to hear this Donna {{{hugs}}}

Run free Charlie

God Bless xx

Donna, I'm so sorry to hear this and can only reiterate what has already been said.

Console yourself with the thought that you gave Charlie the best life he could possibly have wished for with you.  You loved him and cared for him and knew when it was the right time for him.  He dozed off with his family around him, and kind words being whispered in his ear.  The last thing he would have known was your love for him and so please don't feel guilty.  Your decision was the very last but very hardest decision you have had to make for him and was done out of love and compassion.

It will still hurt for a long time yet but just remember that this is perfectly natural and allow yourself time to grieve.  Everyone deals with grief in a different way but whatever feels right for you, let it flow.

The wonderful thing about CD is the community spirit and we are all here for you and so cyberhugs are being sent over and if you need to talk you know where we are.

Hayley..xxx

I'm so very sorry to hear of your sadness. Remember it's very early days yet and it's better to grieve than to bottle it all up.

I found a great little book which really helped me, called "Absent Friend" by Laura and Martyn Lee - it goes into all sorts, the practicalities and the emotional side, how we grieve and so on. There are some quotations in there which are sad (such as Kipling's "why do we give our hearts to a dog to tear" ) but all in all I found it really helpful. Friends and family can be great but they don't always quite understand the depth of grief unless they too are dog people :)

Sending lots of hugs,

Lindsay
x

Donna,  I am so sorry that you are having to go through this!  Most of us here will have gone through it, so we know how you feel.  I am crying now after reading your post because it is one I could have written myself several times, over the years, when I have been in the same position that you are in now!  It does get better but we never forget our departed pets however many we have!  Someone once told me that you cannot feel the total joy of years of owning a beloved pet without the grief you have to go through when it is their time to go!  Take Care! x

It's good to cry Donna Mega cyber {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you

Run free at the Bridge Charlie

Don't cry for me I'm doing fine,
I'm in heaven now with wings that shine,
It makes me sad to see you cry,
but I've big fields and flowers up here in the sky,
God gave me all I could ever dream,
It's a place more beautiful than you have ever seen,
While there on earth I saw your smile,
bringing me peace if just for a while.
Now as I live in eternal bliss,
please just know I send you a kiss,
I loved the time you devoted to me,
but want one last thing, for you to smile for me

MM thats set me off now , what a lovely poem.... bless you Donna, Charlie  had a wonderful mum ....
run free at the bridge Charlie
God bless
xxxxx

So sorry to hear of your loss. :-(

{{{HUGS}}}

Run Free Charlie. xxx

So sorry to hear of your loss - Take time to grieve
x

No words Donna..
            just a Big Warm {{{{{Husky Hug}}}}}
for as long as you need it.. x

Oh Donna I had been dreading the day to see this post :(

All that I can say is crying is part of the trip through grief :) It is a painful and often long process to go through and how ever you do it is the right way as nobody is the same ;)

All that I will say is he knew you loved him with all your heart and he had a wonderful life.

Run free Charlie

Take Care

I can only thank you all for your lovely kind words... and albeit for a fleeting moment i could remember charlie with love...not tears
Today ive been out into town and bought a few things... a new wind chime so he can make it jingle if he wants...
I came home and sorted some pics of out as i found out when lizzie died i put pics of her everywhere so i had a constant reminder....
There was one though that i have never seen before.... or i just dont remember it... its one where we're looking into each others eyes... its lovely and it will go by my bed
Again thank you all for allowing me to share my grief... i know i dont post all too often but i know you guys are about when your needed...:)
I can only look forward to having him home on tuesday
Bless you all
Much love
Donna x
R.i.p charlie untill we meet again x

Donna I am so sorry,I read the book absent friend and found it helped me, I also had a oil painting done at crufts last year of my beloved Bess,cost £150 , it hangs on the wall in my lounge and I feel she is still with me, grief is in stages the tears will gradually lessen and you will be able to move on a bit,

Thinking of you and sending {{{{{{{ HUGS]]}}}}}}

Sheila,

So sorry to hear your sad news. As you said the time was right and it is because you loved him that you were able to let him go. We have to ask ourselves whether we are letting them carry on for them or for us and you have made the ultimate sacrifice in allowing him to be at peace. Try to dwell on positive thoughts and the good times (hard I know) but the old cliche is right time is a great healer and when your raw grief has gone you will feel happy with the life and love that you gave him and feel blessed with the love that was shown in return. I am thinking of you.
Jane

Not much to add to what others have said -think we've all been there and it is very hard but does ease with time -just wanted to say I'm really sorry for your loss and you're in my thoughts.

ohhh Donna, such a sorry state of affairs...I can't imagine how you feel and I cry just thinking about your loss...you did the best you could for your wee man, RIP Charlie...

Im back... i think ive only cried 10 times since my last posting..
I was listening to a song and it really reminded me of my sunny jim 'charlie'
Im a great believer in spiritulism and why is it only now im questioning it?
Ive also had charlie cremated and now i keep thinking what if its not him?
(It never crossed my mind when i had our cat Lizzie pts)
Ive never thought so much in my whole life...

I thank you all... from the bottom of my heart....
Donna x
R.I.P charlie untill we meet again x

Im sorry for your pain. Love to you . You obviously adored him.

So sorry to hear of your loss <<hugs>>

BIG ((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))) I know exactly how you feel except I never had to pts as he passed away on his own with my hubby and I holding his head and telling him it was ok to go.... Its never easy and time does heal but still to this day when I read the poem hubby wrote for him I can not get thro it without crying. He passed away in October and with time it has gotten better you will see, take one day at a time and take comfort in the times you had together...... Iam very sorry, its never easy (((hugs)))

So so sorry for your loss your post reminded me of how I felt last august when my boy moved onto rainbow bridge..
we took him out to his favourite places and a walk in the park we let the girls and cats give him kisses then he made that one way trip to the bridge ....it is heartbreaking leaving them there but you will have him back soon with you ....forever

As others have said the pain will ease and you will be able to think straight again then remember just the good times you spent together...

Roni

I take much comfort in being here at times like this...
I really do need to share something that happened this morning... (Bear in mind my last post about me questioning what ive always believed in..all things spirtual)
My o.h had just gone off to work and i was thinking of 'charlie' telling him i miss him and that i will always love him.. i also asked him to let me know he's here with me....
I was hugging his blanket and some of you may find that strange but charlie was my best friend... my everything. Im not embarresed to say that i would hurry home to be with him, and that i would rather stay in than go out etc So to take the hardest decision was tough... Deep down i know it was right.. but damn right painfull
So, here i was about to be in floods of tears.. when i heard astrange noise
I though whats that cat done now??
So i went to investigate.... no Ed (cat) to be seen
I moved all my shoes... nothing
I have a 3 tier wicker type thing with all my make up and hair products in... plus lots of crap to be honest
I located the noise to the top drawer
Some hair mousse was escaping... on its own
I thougt oh charlie is this your way of letting me know your here
I wandered off into the living room and said to my daughter 'this went off on its own...'
She looked at me saying i heard you looking for something... then said oh god mom have you seen what it is
By lee STAFFORD (Charlie is a staffie)
It doesnt seem much but to me its been a situation that has just comforted me no end... It could easily of be one of those things but to me its my boy telling me he's with me

Donna x
R.I.P charlie untill we meet again x

Donna
Iam thinking of you At this sad time.
You know where i am if you need a chat.
Big {HUGS}
Debbie

Oh my god, I'm so sorry!! Nobody can ease your pain right now, but it will get better in time. I had to say goodbye to my girl last summer as well and I never got more than 1 hours sleep in that first week. the minute I closed my eyes I could see her face in front of me, so I just stayed awake the whole time.......

I couldnt even walk around tesco's without crying...:(
I know that it will get better ... one day

Donna x
(and of course charlie who is resting in peacex)

Hi again Donna - many a shopping trolley has been abandoned by me and plenty others for the same reasons.  It takes time, and a lot of it too :(

Tears are better shed and feelings shared than bottled up - it's natural, normal and healthier for you in the long run.  Everyone on here knows what you're going through and can fully understand how difficult you'll find things but some days will be slightly easier than others and you've got lots of support on here if you need it.

God bless, Teri x 

Thank you Terri...
I know.. that one day life will be better and i know that i can only start to think of the good times when he comes home on Tuesday... Im going to take him on his favourite walk. I dont know why because as much as i belive bodys are just overcoats and we are spirits. But if it helps then its worth doing...

Love Donna x
(and of course charlie who is r.i.p x )

Hi so sorry i know how you feel i had to make the same decission 3 years ago for my freind and shadow Zac my whippet of 15 yrs. It will be hard but in time you will think of him and remember the good times you shared, the hugs and cuddles on the sofa the walks in the park keep your chin up he will always br with you, my Zac still walks brhind me sometimes when i am down and he lifts my spirits. Gdo bless you . Chris
Good Night
God Bless Charlie

Firstly, so sorry about Charlie, it is a terrible decision to make. We only cry because we loved them so much and miss them so much.  I am not ashamed to say that when I lost one particular dog back in 1994, East 17 had their record out 'Stay another day', and I still fill up when I hear that record.  I have lost another dog since and have another 4 at present, but this records just reminds me of Sheba (my first dog).  Even when you start to 'feel better', there will be just something to spark you off again, it is all part of the grieving process.  I too have had little incidents happen and am proud that I believe it to be 'my girls' letting me know they are still around.  You know what they say 'time is a great healer'.  I feel for you at this sad time.

Donna I went through a similar experience 18 months ago with my staffy X, Billy.  I cried in McDonalds in Asda and anywhere else I caught my mums eye we would just lose it.  I couldnt stand to be in the house without him and would drive round for hours.  Then the day his ashes were returned I felt he had come back (this just sounds psycho as Im typing it so I dont know what you are all thinking) he now sits in my front room behind a picture of him lounging on the sofa.  The pain does get better and remember you gave him a fantastic life and now he will be playing with all our dogs and be having the time of his life with no health problems. 

we send BIG HUGS..........

Thank you for your messages...
As each second ticks by i know i did what i did out of love and nothing more
I know i will miss him always yet i know he is with me
I went to see my dad today (who is in hospital after slipping on ice and breaking his knee) and i told about what i felt was charlie coming to give me a sign he is with me. My dad was amazed and we even smiled about his silly ways...
Leanne-that doesnt sound psycho at all. I felt exactly the same when my cats ashes were returned to me and i know for sure that on Tuesday i will know its my starting point
Alison.. i have played 'Have i told you lately' a million times and its my charlie song :) I do have a song for 'PEP' my childhood dog thats tears in heaven... i still well up now even though he has been gone 9 years
Thank you all- you have all been my rock- my sanity if you like...
Love Donna x
(and of course charlie who is r.i.p x)

As I have said before and will again
There aint no love like a staffies love.

So sorry to hear about Charlie. :(

Run free at the bridge little man.

R*I*P.

Just to let you know Charlie is now back home where he belongs...
Its been an emotional morning but also one of relief...

Just tomorrow to tackle now, going back to the vet i work at.
(charlie wasnt pts here)

Thanks again
Donna x
(and also charlie who is r.i.p x)

I don't post on here very often these days, but I wanted to tell you that it really does get easier.  Our Great Dane Shadow died in October 2005 (cancer - he was only 5) .  We had him pts at home and his ashes were returned to us the following day.  I cried everyday for the first 2 weeks,  also abandoned shopping trolley in Tesco's and cried listening to every song that sounds remotely sad on the radio.  Things got easier after those 2 weeks. The crying got less and the smiles and laughter started appearing again when memories were remembered.  We made a scrapbook of Shadows life.  Just simple and basic - starting with puppy pictures, through to present day - we even printed off all the rainbow bridge poems and messages of sympathy that we received from everyone here on Champdogs.  I still look at it now - but not every day like I did at the beginning.  I still "see" Shadow occasionally.  He catches me when I'm not thinking of him.  The shape of his body imprinted on my bed, a warm sofa to sit on even though the heating is off and no-one has been sitting there and also the occassional glimpse of him as he runs around the garden in the moonlight.  I know he is watching us and he knows what we did was done out of love for him.  He's gone from our home but never from our hearts.

Time will help heal the pain you are feeling right now.

Lynne
x

Bless you Donna, so so very sorry.  :-( Time does help to ease the pain. 

Crying is good, only the brave and courageous can let their pain out, take consolation in your grief, your memories of Charlie and bury him in your heart.

God bless xx

Its 2 weeks tomorrow since charlie went to the bridge and i still havent stopped crying... I talk to him lots and im sure my family think im mad...
But who cares?? :)

My home seems so quiet without him even tho i have another 3 dogs already...
one of them is still out of sorts and she looks for him constantly..
Also you may have read my rainbow bridge posting that my cat Pea was killed on Sunday by a car... So i guess Charlie will be happily with pea and Lizzie

I still have many many photos around my home and cant bear to move any, i still have his pic on phone as my screensaver and he's also my screensaver on my pc

Again many thanks all, you have all made this pain a little easier

Hugs
Donna x
(and charlie who is r.i.p)

Its been a month today since the vet helped charlie on his way to Rainbow bridge
Things are a little easier and i do take great comfort in reading the messages...

Donna xx
(and charlie of course who is r.i.p x)

Donna

I am glad things are better. Time is a great healer :)

Come Home To Be With Me

I stood beside your bed last night, I came to have a peep
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep;
I whined to you so softly as you brushed away a tear - "It's me,
I haven't left you: I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here".
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times that your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, you're arms were getting sore:
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care;
I want to reassure that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for your key;
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me".
You looked so tired and sank into a chair,
I tried to let you know that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near to you every day,
To say to you with certainty "I never went away".
You sat there very quietly, then you smiled - I think you knew
In the stillness of the evening I was very close to you.
The day is now over - I smile and watch you yawning
And say "Goodnight, God Bless, I'll see you in the morning".
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you, and we'll stand side by side.
I have many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your life out - then come home to be with me.

Anon

No one understands until they have a dog of their own how heartbroken we all are when they pass over, I really like the rainbow bridge on this site, it is a great comfort to us all.

I felt like my heart was so broke it would never mend when I pts my first dog. I cried none stop for days.

Nothing can fill the hole of a dog you have lost, but you have memories that are never gone.  Let yourself cry until you can cry no more. Time will heal, and I found getting another dog a real help in time maybe you will do the same.

My heart goes out to you.

Hiya all....
Just thought i would give you an update...
Most days i get through... other days im tearfull... but yet as so many of you said i did the right thing in letting Charlie go to the bridge...
Its almost 8 months since he went... but it seems like forever.

Hope you are all well...

Donna x
(and charlie of course)

Donna

It is lovely to hear from you.

Lucy
xx

So... a year today Charlie was pts...
I still miss him and in a way time heals slightly...

Today, i have spent most of it crying.. im just so sad.
I will put his blanket away today... I may even pluck up the courage to scatter his ashes when i go on Charlie's walk

Again thank you all for keeping me sane...

Much love
Donna x
(and charlie of coursex)

I believe that being sad about the passing of our pets is one of the tributes we pay to them for having enriched our lives. It would be infinitely worse if their passing meant nothing to us.

Your sadness reflects the love you had for Charlie and he will always hold a special place in your heart.