I am at my wits end,my brother is still drinking three bottles of whisky a day,sleep,drink troughout the day and night,he has got friendly with an other alcoholic,she is only 27,he only goes out to buy his drink at 7am or gets somebody passing to get it,we brought him back from London as social services rang me about him we got him a private flat in a nice little villige,set it all up for him,but he carried on drinking the only time he stops is when he starts being sick with bile which can be a bowl full,after a few days back to sqare one,he hardly eats he is very frail,he is very nasty when I call he just wants to be left alone,his lady friend rang me last night to say he is pooing all over the place and the flat stinks,his bed is full of urine,he will not have any help,I have exusted all avenues ie.GP,AA,ANON,SServices to no avail,all day long I just think of him lying there,I will go up to his tonight see if he will let me at least get rid of the smell,my mum is a wreck and so am I.What can I do.

Sheila.

I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Sadly there is very little you can do for him, alcoholism is a dreadful destructive illness, but the alcoholic them self needs to recognize they have a problem and most importantly, they must want to stop. It is often suggested that you do not be there to pick up the pieces, and clear up after them, till they decide to seek help themselves.

I do feel for you.

Can only repeat what Liberty has said. Usually something really drastic has to happen as a wake up call. You just have to be there when he's ready.
Becky

Oh Sheila, how awful for you. You must be totally at a loss at what to do. Are there any support groups nearby? Ones for the carers I mean? They might just be able to offer you a bit of support and advice.Like Liberty says, it needs to come from your brother. Does he even recognise he's got a problem?

I haven't got any words of wisdom I'm afraid, but keep looking after YOURSELF.

I really do feel for you Sheila.

I would call social services and demand they go and speak to your brother, to make him get help.

Good Luck xx

You have to leave him entirely to his own devices. He will take all you can offer and will probably offer you fine words and promises. But nothing will he do until he accepts he has a problem and is prepared to help himself. No other person can help him until he can face up to himself. You have to strong enough to just wait til he wakes up.
I feel so sorry for you as it is a self destruct thing that you can only watch.

That's a terrible thing to go through - I'm so sorry for you. Is there nothing the doctor can do - section him, or something?

It's an awful situation & I feel for you but your brother has to want to stop. Until he gets to that point there is very little anyone can do. I've seen people come into hospital, get dried out & patched up then go straight out & do it all again. Let's hope he doesn't slip too much further before he reaches the point where he wants to be helped.
x

To section someone, they have to be deemed by a team of professionals to be a danger to themself or to others. My friend's Mum is a chronic alcoholic and was sectioned once several years ago because she threatened my friend with a knife. It had little affect as she went straight back on the booze when she was released and is still drinking now. Unfortunately, it appears that you have to threaten suicide to qualify under the 'danger to self' part as drinking ones self to death in itself is not sufficient

Sheila
I am sorry that you are having to go through this and that all attempts to get help for your brother have failed. A reformed alcoholic once told me that it is only when an alcoholic recognises that they have hit rock bottom will they be ready to seek help. It may appear to you and those around you that your brother is at rock bottom now but he probably doesn't think so. I wish there was an easily solution but having witnessed a family member go through the same thing, I know all to well that there isn't. All you can do is stay strong and be there for him when he needs you.

dont know if this is helpful but i had a friend years ago who was suicidal, i was becoming quite ill, i phoned the samaritans ,trying to get him help , i spent 2 hours on the phone, they coudn't help him but they helped me come to terms with his problem. Alcoholics anonymous ( A.A. ) have a branch to help family and friends deal with supporting an alchoholic.  best wishes.

It is a sad state of affairs......but you will get more help from the medical profession if you wish to give up smoking, or have a hard drug problem. Alcoholism is at the bottom of the list or so it appears :(

Went up to see Patrick this evening,he was drinking but not bad tempered,I had a chat with him  and told him how concerned I was about him,he will not listen,I did manage to clean the carpets as best I could and change his bed,for his own dignity, on leaving he did say how grateful he was,he was nearly in tears,I have asked his GPabout Patrick being sectioned,he told me that he is no harm to others and he is in complete denial,as for self harm nothing can be done,I know he has not long for this world,sometimes I hate him for what he is doing to himself and the family,then I feel so sorry for him.What a waste of a life,

Sheila.

I am so sorry, Sheila. The feeling of helplessness is very hard to endure. You're doing your best, and nobody can ask for more. In the longterm you'll be glad you did. You must all be living through hell - I'm so desperately sorry for you all - including Patrick. {{{{{hug}}}}}

I totally feel for you my mum is an alcoholic and has been for the last seven years, although she would never admit it, myself and my family have tried everything the AA said that we should leave her and let her get to her lowest point, which isn't easy when you have to watch the woman who brought you up in such a state that shes wetting her self etc and she doesnt even know.
I don't normally tell people about it, it's not really a great conversation booster, but i just wanted you to know that there is always hope, about three weeks ago my mum phoned me crying, and said she couldn't carry on like it anymore, she decided this herself and that day she went to the doctors who have sent her a councellor, she had her second session today, she is still drinking they told her not to stop yet as it will make her ill (strange tactics i know) she was on 2 litres of neat vodka a day, but she is taking the first steps.
I know it's hard when the person you love is doing this to themself ive lost count of the times ive cried myself to sleep.
I haven't got any answers just don't give up i know it's hard and i really hope things work out for you, your certainly not alone.

It's a year since my ex stopped drinking, so I know the heartache you are going through. My ex was a heavy drinker, he didn't have a problem, did he? :( One day I got a phone call to say that my 10 year old daughter had found him sitting outside talking to a policeman (which was in fact a bright orange cement mixer) It took 2 of his neighbours to help him back inside. The doctor told us to leave him to get on with it, as there was nothing he could do. 36 hours later my ex was in Intensive Care as he had collapsed and 'died' in his hallway. This was his rock bottom. He swore to us then that he wouldn't drink again. In fact he was told that another drink would kill him. As I said, he hasn't touched a drop in a year now.

Your brother has to come to realise that he has reached the bottom before he can get help. He won't be able to stop himself unless he does finally admit it. There is nothing you can do except be there for him. Lots of {{{{{hugs}}}}} going your way.

My first partner was an alcoholic.....infact he used to come home drunk beat the s**t out of me then drink some more....in the end I left.....He does though now seem to have partly sorted himself out :rolleyes:

I still have nightmares about it now, even though it was 14 years ago!

On a happier note I am now married to a lovely chap.

Wishing you all the best {{{{{{{Hug}}}}}}}} Keep trying, your brother will ask for help at some point.

Pam