You've probably all seen these before, but a friend shared them with me and I thought Id share with you all..Fi xx

Dear Dogs and Cats,

>>
>> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
>> The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
>> paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for
>> it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
>> pleasing in the slightest.
>>
>> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
>> because I fall faster than you can run.
>>
>> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed.  I am very sorry
>> about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
>> ensure your comfort.  Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
>> they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to
>> the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight
>> out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is
>> nothing but sarcasm.
>>
>> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
>> some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
>> necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
>> under the edge and try to pull the door open.  I must exit through the
>> same door I entered.  I have been using the bathroom for years--canine
>> or feline attendance is not mandatory.
>>
>> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
>>
>> I cannot stress this enough!
>>
>> To pacify you my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
>> front door:
>>
>> Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit
>> and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
>>
>> 1. They live here.  You don't.
>>
>> 2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
>> (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
>>
>> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>>
>> 4. To you, it's an animal.  To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
>> is short, hairy, walks on  all fours, and does not speak clearly.
>>
>>
>>
>> Remember:
>>
>> Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: eat
>> less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come
>> when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using
>> friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest
>> fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
>> and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children

Love it!

Brilliant!