Early this morning my nine years old daughters best friend passed away.It was very unexpected.Her death was caused by a reaccuring injury to the brain that she suffered after a car accident at the age of three.Im having an awfull time trying to get my little girl to understand and shes been crying all day on and off.We have had pets that have passed on but never anyone we have loved.Im in an awfull situation that i am finding really hard to cope with.Any help would be more than welcome.Thanks.

Oh, how sad.

Last year a girl at my daughters school (same year, different class) died of Leukemia. The children were encouraged to talk about her, and remember the good times. They wrote letters to the girls family, letting them know how they were feeling, and to let the family know that she would be missed. Some of them went to the funeral. All you can do is to be there for your daughter, and talk if she wants to.

Lots of {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} heading your way

Oh No :-( Thats so sad Guiness, my thoughts are with the little girls family.

I'm sending big {{{HUGS}}} to you and your daughter right now. xx

Thanks so much for your kind wishes.We have hired a couple of DVD for the night and got loads of munchies in to try cheer her up.It would of been easier if she could see the poor girl was ill but it all happened so quick.One day she was at school and the next in the air ambulance.She didnt quite make the hospital alive. :(

That is sooooooooo sad and she is so young :( I do hope your child is doing ok as well as you and their family. Very sorry to hear that ((((hugs))))

a girl in my friend's daughters class at school (age 8) died and the teacher told them she went to sleep and didn't wake up - cue 30 kids petrified to go to sleep. definitely not the smartest thing to say but children still have to go through the grief process that adults do but generally do not have the words to put the thoughts and emotions into words so need a bit of extra understanding and help.  thinking about you all at this time

if she wants to talk about it let her, my friends parents would not talk about our best friends death and she had no one to turn to, she came to our house and sat at the table with my mum and me and burst into tears,and we just let her cry and then she started to talk, we where laughing and crying at the same time remember things that we had all done and the scrapes we had got into,

i am a lot older now but the friend that was not allowed to talk about her feelings she is dying herself i am preparing myself as much as i can as she is now dying,and i don't think it matters what age you are the feelings of shock and helplesness are over whelming my husband is my rock at the moment i have days of feeling so angry at life, then i will get a phone call from her and we are both roaring with laughter on the phone if i feel lost and helpless at this age, i can really feel sorry for you both, just be there for her when she needs you, a shoulder to cry on and a hug can work wonders, and don't be frightened to answer her questions if she asks them and if you don't know the answers to her questions tell her.
all my love to you both and you will work through it .
carol

Sorry to hear this. :-( My thoughts are with you, your daughter and the girls family at this very sad time. {{{{{HUGS}}}} to you all. xxxx

If you look at the website below you can pick up some ideas to help her through.

http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

This is so sad to hear and it will be a day you won't forget.  My thoughts are with you.

So sorry to hear of your daughters loss, but I would definatly encourage her to talk about her friend as much as she can, in time she will talk about the happy times and not feel so sad.

I know its not the same but my mum comes from a large irish family and she had a younger sister, Jean who was closest to her in age by about 16 months. When My mum was 8 Jean was almost 7 and they were in hospital together in the same ward, I think they had diptheria as far as I am aware my Nanny (mum's mother) never had any of her chicldren vaccinated, well like I said they ended up in the hospital together and my mums condition was much worse than her sister's but I was told the doctors tried a new drug out on Jean and unfortunatley it was fatal. My mum was in hospital for I think 6 months and all that time she had not been told where Jean had gone, when she asked after her, she was told Jean had made a recovery and had gone to England (they lived in Dublin) for a rest. It wasn't until my mum came out of hospital and her older sister took her to the shops to tell her something, and she told her the truth that Jean had died. It affectted my mum greatly, she cried for months and months and I don't think she spoke to her mum about it, don't think they had that type of relationship, but I know to this day my mum still gets very upset over it all. She still talks about her and gets upset about her, and its no wonder as she kept all these feelings inside her since being a child at 8 years old.

This is terribly sad, and I found myself in a similar situation with my own daughter and her friend at the age of 10.  The circumstances were absolutely tragic, but the result was that a little girl was at school on the friday but over the weekend something terrible had happened.
I just had to answer all my daughters questions as honestly as I could, some there were just no answers to.
Just keep giving lots of hugs and reassurance to your daughter, saying things like that are rare,  I left it up to my daughter to talk about it when she wanted, the school encouraged the children through writing and drawing to cope with their emotions, from an adults point of view it can be quite strange and even upsetting to see how children deal with this type of thing, but we have to remember that for many children it can be their first experience of death and they dont always react how we might expect, I noticed that some of the children from my daughters school were treating it as a sort of adventure, which can seem alarming but each child needs to be treated indivdually. The school also made councillors available for the children.
My daughter wrote about her friend and what had happened in a little diary, I also encouraged other friends to come round for tea  and outings etc.,
It will get easier, it's just so awful that children have to deal with it at such a young age, but they do cope with our support.
My daughter is 15 now and we still have a chat about it from time to time, it's sad but unfortunately that's life.  I do hope your little girl feels better soon, as they say time does help.