I don't really ask this for a specific reason, but have you ever owned a dog, that for whatever reason, you were compelled to give away..?

What was the reason..?

Did you underestimate the work and costs involved..
DId the dog a behavioural problem..
Other reason..

Just interested to know the experiences of those out there..

Yes, once and once only and I still feel badly about it all these years later although I know it was for the best.

When my children were very small I had a beautiful golden lab X (X with what we don't know!) bitch who was the sweetest natured girl. Unfortunately, I should have called her "Houdini" instead of "Sophie" because she was a terrible escapologist and worse, wasn't safe with livestock, particularly sheep. I moved house when my marriage broke up and rented a cottage on a big country estate. The garden wasn't fenced and it wasn't practical to make it "Sophie-proof" so I had to take great care that she wasn't allowed unsupervised access to it. Because the boys were little and the house constantly full of their friends rushing around constantly forgetting to shut doors, it got ever harder to keep her in and finally, after a dreadful morning when I found her about to start worrying the sheep in the next field (thank goodness I caught her before any damage was done), I realised she'd have to be rehomed for her sake otherwise she'd be shot.

I was lucky enough to have friends living in town who desperately wanted a young dog and who had a very secure garden miles from any farmland and they took her. She had a wonderful life with them but the sense of failure has never gone away.

>Unfortunately, I should have called her "Houdini"

Roz

She sounds exactly like the only dog my family ever had to rehome when I was a child. She was a yellow lab and a proper escape artist. She viewed every attempt to reinforce fences, gates etc as a new challenge and always succeeded in getting out. It became a regular occurence to find her swimming in the harbour near our house...extremely dangerous as it is a working harbour and at the time had a fleet of about 100 fishing trawlers. Also, with livestock in nearby fields, my parents could not take the risk of her worrying the sheep and being shot so the decision was taken to rehome her.

I have never been in that situation as we speak, but  ifat the end of the day it was better for my dogs, then I would not hesistate. As for folk in that awful situation they have my heartfelt thoughts for dealing  with it bearing in mind what is best for the dog.

Yes three times. I know that sounds bad, but it is over a period of many years. The first was a Border Collie (well she probably had a bit of Springer in her too), she was a foster from the RSPCA that ended up staying.(Got her at 3 weeks.) She came when I was pregnant for the first time which was terrible timing. Once the baby was born I was overwhelmed, first baby and all that, and Trixie  got frustrated as I simply did not have enough time for her. She started carrying the cats around by their necks, seriously injuring one, and started jumping the 6 foot fence and got out all the time etc.  She was so young and it was all my own fault. I had a couple of much older Goldens and a Cocker as well and they were fine as they were older and not so energetic. Trixie ended up being re-homed to a farm, where she was very happy. I've always felt bad about it though -these days that sort of thing would never happen, I know better. It was just that first baby, I wasn't at all prepared for what it really meant.(That baby is now almost 14.)

The second dog was a Golden, and to quote a very wellknown breeder and judge "that bitch is around the bend". She was attacking other dogs, badly -at training club once she turned around and bit the dog behind her, a Rottweiler!, and there was blood everywhere. No obvious reason, she'd be fine one moment, attack the next. When she attacked one of my own dogs badly, again calm one moment, attack the next, no warning, not even a growl, I was at my wits end. Spoke to this Golden lady (who also was involved in rescue) and she said it sounded to her as if my bitch would be happier as a single dog, and she'd be willing to help me find her a good home.(BTW I have since met several dogs of very similar breeding with the same temper! Yet she was from a well respected breeder recommended by a breed club.)  But of course I had to contact the breeder first and the breeder ended up having her back. There's really a lot more to the story than this, more explanations, but the long and the short of it was that  she simply wasn't safe around other dogs. And I must admit I did NOT miss her when she went. It was just a huge relief.

The last time was a Cavalier, and again much the same thing -she was really aggressive with other dogs. She bullied one of my other cavaliers so badly he was really unhappy and I ended up letting my mother in law have him (so I still see him all the time, and officially he is still mine, I do his grooming, take him to the vets etc). Once he was gone she started on the other Cavalier, really seriously attacking him. Each time she did she set the big dogs off (Goldens and Malinois) and THEY would start fighting each other in the excitement, and it was a total nightmare. This time the breeder was NOT somebody I would wish to hand the dog back to for the dog's sake, so she was found a home as a single pet with a family where she became very happy. And all my dogs calmed down and again it was a huge relief.

We once ran on two puppies froma litter and by the time they were 10 mths the bicth was not show quality and was starting to not get on with her mum. 

Someone came round to look at our red and whites as was interested in the breed and wanted to see them in their home environment. The two of them clicked (dog and person).  Chablie was perfect for what this lady was looking for (slightly older puppy, used to a cage and cats)  Although sad Chablie is living a life she could never of lived in out house with the others as she gets more attention being an only dog, she's hairy, a little on the cubby side but not really fat, really loved and we are welcome over whenever we like to see her.  We wern't going to advertise her for sale or give her to rescue.  It was up to fate.  if someone hadn't of come along she would have stayed here with us anyway. :)

When I was a child we had a black lab, we loved her to bits even though she tried to destroy parts of the house as labs do.  Around the same time my mum started to get painful lumps on her body, they got worse and worse and eventually she was referred to the hospital which was a very worrying time for my parents (they obviously shielded us children from that part).  It turned out that my mum had developed an allergy to our dog.  My mum perservered but in the end by the time our dog was coming up to a year my mum found the lumps were too much to bear longterm and we had to give our dog away.  I was totally heartbroken and it brings tears now remembering how I felt. 

All of these stories are different, yet share the same feeling of sadness when this decision is made..

So, as a rule, when is enough enough, when do you place emotions to one side, and have to admit "defeeat"..?

two times i have had to give a dog away.
the first time was chloe a perky little rough collie x that came to us at 16 weeks. riddled with worms, fleas and in a very sorry way.
my oh of the time worked as a hostpital porter and a lady who worked as a cleaner took in animals. she had taken in the pup but found her self in a situation where she had too much so we took her. we got her seen by the vet, and she grew in to a happy healthy gorl. i was living in cheshire at the time and i managed ot get a job down in dorset so we all moved down there to live with my parents. it was only ment to be temporary. but we ended up being there longer than planned wiht my parents and they were renting a house that did nto allow dogs. chloe was living in the garage ajounded to the house and it broke my heart having to put her in there at night. eventually a neighbour reported us to the owner of the house and we were given a month to get rid of the dog or be evicted. i worked at the vets at the time and speakign it through with the vet he said as she was young it would be best to rehome her as young ones adapt well. another option was a foster home but it confuses them even more.
ironically after she was rehomed to a loverly home we found our own place not long after. but chloe was so happy at her new home we let her stay there.

the second time i homed a beutifull 13 week old GSD called benji. .  the peopel i got him off had bought him off the breeder at 8 weeks old, but could not cope with him, having also taking on a bitch GSD at the same time.
he had started to show signs of fear aggresion so they advertised him and i saw the ad.

from day one he was very nurvy and you could tell it was goign to take a lot of work to get him from feeling so negitive about new experiences. by the time he was 5 months old he was a diffrent dog. happy , confident and huge!
he just kept growing. i have a 2 year old daughter with cerebral palsy and they shared a special bond with each other, but as benji started to get bigger he kept knockign my daughter over. he never got on well with my oh , and one day when we went out to the park together my oh was playing with bethany and benji nipped my oh on the leg. i knew it was becasue he thought my oh was hurting bethany. the friction between oh and benji got worse. and becasue my oh was scared of benji and benji was scared of men it got worse.

he needed a home where the family were all experienced dog handlers. and so i made the heartbreakign deceision to home him to friends with experience of the breed. ho had no children. i still get to see him and i knwo that he is happy.

i woudl say that when you have tried everythign possible yet your lifes still clash its time to call it a day.

Obviously it wasn't my decision but I was old enough to understand that my mum was suffering badly and that she hadn't taken the decision lightly.  In fact I think my dad probably made the decision for her.  We said our goodbyes before we went to school but my mum told me years later that when my dad was walking the dog down the path she looked back at my mum and my mum said she thought the dog knew what was happening and she felt so guilty.  I don't think you put emotions aside, I think there comes a point where you rationally think about the problem, the choices and the possible outcomes and make, hopefully, a rational decision.

I've done it 3 times.

The first time was a GSD x ? . She was a lovely dog, but after I had my son she became very possessive and wouldn't let me near him! She was rehomed to a friend.

The 2nd time was one I really didn't want to do, but my (now ex-) husband made me get rid of a male as he couldn't be bothered keeping him away from the bitches when they were in season. Too much bother for him. I regret that one deeply.

The 3rd time was a bitch that did well in the show ring, when she could be bothered. Which wasn't very often! She took a dislike to my older bitch and they started taking chunks out of one another. I had to choose between them, or end up with a dead dog. Luckily a home came available just at the right time. I saw her last week and though she is showing her age (she'll be 12 in April) she still looks good.

I think about each of them when I'm down and hope that I did right by them. They have all been happy in their new homes, but I still worry.

This subject is bringing tears to my eyes already! I had to rehome a German shepherd. We got her from friends when she was about 3 years old. Hadn't been trained particularly well but was very good with my daughter. We had her for 3 years and she became a very well trained dog and a pleasure to have. But because she hadn't lived with us from a pup she wasn't used to our lifestyle (being in the forces and moving around a fair bit) we moved house with her twice and every time, it took her weeks to settle down again. Every time you came in the house with a box (from shopping) or from moving, she would go berserk and literally climb the walls. So when we found out we were moving to Belgium, i couldn't put her through it. I decided to rehome her and found a very lovely couple who owned a pub and had experience with the breed etc so reluctantly left her with them. My daughter was devastated and it has taken us a few years to get over it and have our new pup. They always said we could go back and visit her, but i can never bring myself to go there. my husband has been a couple of times, but she gets so worked up about it we haven't been back again. I still have pictures of her hanging around my house and she will always play a big part in my family history. But I knew it was for the best for her.
Em

>All of these stories are different, yet share the same feeling of sadness when this decision is made..So, as a rule, when is enough enough, when do you place emotions to one side, and have to admit "defeeat"..?

I don't think you quite place emotions to one side, Cain, but I think you get to the stage when you finally have to accept reality and accept that neither you or the dog are right for each other at that particular time.  My Sophie sounds like she could have been the twin of ShaynLola's yellow lab because all attempts to contain her were seen as just another challenge to overcome! All the time her escapology mainly involved her being discovered dancing merrily around on the next door but one neighbour's allotment (him being the only near neighbour who didn't like dogs, of course!!!) the problem was manageable at no risk to her. When it became obvious that our circumstances were putting her in real danger of coming home on the back of the local farmer's Land Rover with a bullet in her I realised that my love for her had to be channelled into giving her the chance of a long and happy life elsewhere.

I often wonder what I would have done today but I know that living where I do surrounded by livestock (albeit in a different house in a different village and minus the small children who are now grown-up) I still couldn't risk having a dedicated escapologist who wasn't safe with sheep.

Cain, are you thinking of rehoming your dog?  (Going by the difficulties I know you're having with him on another thread?)

Well, that is a god question.  Please believe me, it would break my heart, and when I got him, I was prepared for the walks, the affection, the cost, the commitment, etc, but I am only human, and because of those problems I explained elsewere, there is very little pleasure in this for me, and it is causing me to be quite stressed.

So, I suppose the answer to your question is yes - VERY relunctantly..

If you do decide to rehome him, can I suggest that you contact the breed rescue service, because they will more fully understand the breed and are more likely to be able to place him with a suitable home.

If you go to www.champdogs.co.uk and then click on Guided Search>Terrier Group>bull terrier>clubs

You will find a list of bull terrier clubs, several of which run a rescue service.

>So, as a rule, when is enough enough, when do you place emotions to one side, and have to admit "defeeat"..?

When the dog is a danger either to other dogs or animals or to people. When the dog is unhappy in the situtation and would be happier elsewhere.

Like I said I rehomed 3 dogs, and in each case there was a serious element of danger to other animals. However I also have one bitch that was very hard to train, very badly behaved, and I was told over and over again  by people that surely I must give up and find her a new home. She was however no danger to anyone and she wasn't unhappy either, she just needed to learn how to behave -and more than anything I needed to learn how to train her, as she was a new breed to me and nothing like any dog I'd had before.(And I'd had dogs for 18 years when I got her.) There are still stories about her at our training club, she's always brought up as "the worst dog ever". I persevered, refused to give up, made sure I asked for help and so trained her  not only in class but had private lessons as well.Today she is the most fantastic dog I've ever had and persevering with her was the best thing I've ever done. :)

It's always a heartbreaking decision and you will be left with a sense of failure if you rehome a dog. But if things become so stressful that you can't enjoy your dog, he won't be feeling any happier about life and re-homing can be the kindest alternative. Only you will know how near the end of your tether you've got but nobody would blame you for recognising that the time mightn't be right for you and this particular dog to live happily ever after.

For years after I re-homed Sophie I remained "dogless" partly because I blamed myself for her problems and felt I didn't deserve another dog. In some respects this was sensible (I had children to raise single-handedly and a career to build up) but when I adopted my dearly departed old cocker Bob I realised what I'd been denying myself and if things don't work out with you and Alfie, don't be too hard on yourself.

i had to re home a labby/staffy cross some years ago called simba :( he was a lovely little pup came from a bad environment was full of fleas when we got him and we spoilt him rotten, but if he was left on his own the havok he caused was unreal he even managed to chew the electric cable to  my fridge completely in half :o how he was still alive that day i just dont know!! he dug his way out of the garden on lots of different occasions and would constantly pee in the house but we tried and tried to overcome his behaviour, but then my son at the time was only 2 years old and when the puppy was play biting my son would just bite him back :( and as a mum i was scared that one day my son would do this and hurt the dog or the door really hurt my son and i couldnt risk it so he went to a new home!!
little bugger i often think about him and wonder how he is!!

I have also had to re-home two three dogs although two went together. Both are long stories so even though i've shortened them please excuse the lenght!
The two that went together were litter brother and sister and had never been apart from each other. They were JRT's and we had them for 4 years before we had to find them a new home. We made the decision because they weren't happy with their lifestle with us. At first they lived outside with two others and went for regulaur long walks but when the other two died we brought Bert and Mavis (the JRT's) into the house with our GSD. They thought this was great at first but soon came to find it all a bit too noisy with a 2yo boy!
After our GSD tragically died we replaced him with our RR and with our Lab as well we were back up to four dogs still living inside. Bert and Mavis were getting more and more reclusive and nervous in the house in a seeminly permanant state of tension, that was until they went for walks. Bert was always good as gold on walks but Mavis who was always 'yappy snappy' got worse and started attacking the other dogs, biting their faces. The RR would only take so much and started retaliating and you can imagine the size difference! She also badly attacked a spaniel puppy in the woods one day. :-(We thought long and hard but they hd to go, for their own saftey and happiness. We found them a nice home with a family where they are the only dogs and get lots of fuss and attention. they are happy there and we paid to have her spayed recently for her health. I still visit occasionaly and they look very contented, although i miss them and feel guilty i know that they enjoy life more now then they did with us. ;)

The other dog we re-homed was a GSD X Collie. We were sold him as a purebred but no papers transpired and you can guess the rest! Anyway he was nice but a real escape artist and quite small and timid with other people. As we had bought hima s a guard as well as a pet we thought the best thing to do was re-home as he was still young. As he was a cross there was no breed rescue and so we placed an ad. Loads of people rang and we gave them a tough interview over the phone before letting them come to see us. One family stood out (just goes to show, you never can tell),They had had the same cross befrore and had a garden, someone at home etc. When they came to see him they seemed alright and knowledgeable and happy with him. However ( and this is what i will never forgive myself for) we decided to dispense with the cooling off period and let him go then and there with his food vaccination and microchip certs.
That was on the friday eve, on saturday afternoon when we were out we had a card put through the letterbox asking us to contact the local dog warden. Not good news.:-( as it was the weekend we could get no answer until monday when we were informed that Eddie hd been picked up by the police in the early hours of saturday morning on a main trunk road. he had been transfered to the warden and traced to us via his microchip ( thank god he had one, or who know what would have happened) we had him back on the tuesday and poor eddie was apsolutley traumatised as you can imagine. They think that he was dumped only a few hours after leaving us. We were devestated and felt so guilty as we had let him down. :-(
By coincidence a lady had rung about him before we knew what had happened and i had taken her number, so once Eddie was recovered she came to see him and  she WAS nice and we did a home check and a weeks trial and he is still there now after a couple of years. I see them occsionally on the beach and he is so happy with no ill effects from his ordel other than a persistant fear of hoovers.;)

I will never stop feeling guilty about poor eddie and we will never know what happened to him. The people that did this to him gave a false address when we called round and denied all knowledge of us or the dog on the phone when they eventually answered after 3 weeks of ringing.