When I read some peoples posts I find them confrontational and find my hackles rising where as others, who may well hold the opposite view to me, state their case strongly and I find it interesting. Is it me or the way I read the posts or do some people come over as aggressive even though they may not be. I ask this question as I do belive that there are those that are deliberately provoking and I try very hard not to take the bait but I do worry that I may be dismissing others who put their point over in a very curt manner, but may have a very good point. Does all that make any sense, probably not. JH

Jackie I totally understand what you mean ;-)

I sometimes read a thread and feel myself getting annoyed, when this happens I usually try to read that same posting a few hours later, usually after a number of people have already responded and I find that sometimes helps me put things into perspective. Everyone reads the posts very differently so I think well lets see if that annoys a few other folk and if it does then I know my feelings are justified if it doesn't then I usually understand the original posting better once I've read a few replies. By reading other replies I have often had my point of view changed because I see another side to the coin :-)

If it's a subject I feel really strongly about then I go away and come back once I've calmed down a bit and try to reply in a civilised manner. At least I hope that's how I come across to folk here :D

I dont mind what views someone holds ..it is the way they put those views over IMHO. To be dismissive of another persons opinion is just plain rude .....no matter WHAT your opinion is

So no Jackie ..it ain't just you ;)

Melody

As you all know i am newish to the forum and starting to get involved in a few more topics now., but there is one post that I actually felt quite strongly about (a recent one :D) and didn't reply., in case I got jumped on ... I have found some of the posts to be off putting (as if waiting for a fight) and decided not to bother posting !! :(

Natasha

I think really it is the perils of email and there is not a lot that can be done about it :)

In the past I have made a joke, made as i thought to lighten the post and provide some humour, and when returning to check on replies discovered to my horror that it had been taken the wrong way....awful :(

For my part, i try hard to be honest but I find this hard as many people on here use techniques which I personally find harsh.It is then difficult to post, as feelings may run high but one can come across as too confrontational if disagreeing.

I always try really hard now to respond to the post itself rather than the poster....it's best not to get personal I feel.

However, it doesn't stop me worrying about dogs and owners, and I got to the stage where i had to stop posting as i just worried too much and got too involved.

LIndsay

Hello all, I'm new to this message board, but have belonged to another for a few years, ( have the honour of moderating a forum there now too. :) )

Lindsay is right, it is the nature of e mails and the net in general that misunderstandings occur. A poster may not mean to insult you, they maybe attacking what you have said, but not you personally. It still hurts though.

I think this is because when we *talk* here, we cannot read body language, which is so subtle we don't think about it in real life, but is is important and goes a long way to putting someone at ease. Best solution? IMHO Include lots of smileys in a post...... but then again, not everyone likes these. I love em! :D :D :p

~Sharon

Welcome aboard Sharon :-)

Yes I know how you all feel. It took me a while to get used to a few when I first joined, but learned it was just the way they are and nine times out of ten they are only saying how they feel and I have learnt it's just them! No offence intended, but yes a few posts some times do get to me but like some of you I read and leave the post for a while then go back and if I still feel strongly over it will say something or some times you see things in a differnt way?

Julieann

I do have another problem, tring not to answer flippantly, particular titles. Better not give examples. Think it is my silly sense of fun, have been missunderstood a few times and taken seriously, so I try hard not to do it, but find my fingers take of without my brain. Jackie H

Guilty here too

:D

But it is FUN

:)

Melody

Hi all am new to the forum but do belong to another one and the we have the same problem there, although it seems to be the same few people time and again who just seem to deliberately take things the wrong way to start a row and then it just gets nasty :( its a shame but one we cant change unfortunately
Wendy

Welcome to the forum Wendy :-)

As you are already familiar with the workings of forums, we don't need to point out where the 'smileys' are :D but you may not have read the forum Terms of Service ;-)

Hi Jackie H
I agree with your point, sometimes the written word can be harsh when that wasn't the intention! :D
I think because we can only write our feelings you miss being able to *hear* the tone of voice or *see* the body language, which are both clues to the intent of what is being said.
Also I think people tend to be more consise in writing than talking, which sometimes looks curt.
I hope I haven't upset anyone with the *tone* of my comments, and if I have I'm really sorry, no offence was intended.
Nicky