For those of you who have the ever returning sons/daughters, how do you work out a fair housekeeping rate?

I provide all of my younger son's food,washing,cleaning etc. he pays less than 1/10th of his monthly salary in housekeeping,plus any phone calls made on the landline.

I feel mean taking anything from him, but feel he should contribute to the household costs and he can well afford it having secured a good job,now he has his degree,masters etc. although he also has a huge student loan yet to repay :(

How do you come to some amicable % for your 'lodgers' ?

Jacqueline :)

I have same problem at the moment.  I have 19 year old daughter who had a very bad year last year and then changed her job to one paying a lot less than the previous.  I thought I would give her a bit of time to re-organise her life, wardrobe and social life and then she started driving lessons and then she started saving to go to Australia and consequently she has paid nothing all year and has used the phone on top of all else. 

I broached the subject yesterday and told her that when she gets back from Aus she will be nearly 20 and that she will have to pay rent.  Like you I don't know how much.  I offered and paid my mum 30% but I've only ever 'charged' 10% like you.

Student loans only have to be paid back after the ex-student starts earning a certain amount.  If he's earning more than that I would think he could pay more than 10% to you.  Around here a room to rent is about £50/wk without food so anything less than that is a bargain really. Trouble is mums are too soft and it doesn't do them any favours in the long run. 

When I was 20 I moved home for 9 months after splitting up with my then boyfriend and needing some "mothers love" for some time.  :-)

I was earning at the time £14,000 a year and paid my Mum £300 a month towards food, lodgings, bills etc etc.  I still did all my own washing and ironing etc etc.

I think it helped me to continue paying a bit more than some Mum's would charge a month because when it came to moving back out and back into the real world it wasn't so much of a shock to the system to find myself having to pay out for things again.

I think if you get used to having pretty much all of your money to yourself whilst living at home (only paying a token amount) then when you do move back out and all of a sudden have rent/bills/council tax/rates etc to pay that it can be a shock if you've had a good few months being able to go out as much as you want and you're money is pretty much yours to do what you want with.  :-)

From our very first babysitting jobs to full time adult job as long as we were in the family home, myself and all my siblings handed over 1/3 to Mother towards our keep, another 1/3 which she saved for us towards whatever we wanted but it was understood beforehand what that would be ie holiday, driving lessons etc and 1/3 was ours to spend just how we wished.  A bit controlling in this day and age perhaps but we all grew up understanding the value of things, I have never to this day got into any money troubles, never borrowed, never had difficulty balancing my budget even during some pretty lean times :)
I really don't think there is any excuse for someone not to contribute to the household expenses and I think it's a valuable lesson in life that you have to pay your dues before anything else.

I returned to my parents house after my marriage broke up and I sold my house.  I used to pay my mum £200 a month, which she was more than happy with I think.  She was happy to have a girl friend back to chat with (one that didn't act like a stroppy teenager, which was me before I got married!).

My parents never made me pay anything to live at home.  All my money was my own and boy did I spend it.  I have to say in my defence, I lived away 5 days a week and ran a car on £65 a week!!! But even when I had a year at home with a decent paying job, they still never made me pay anything.

The problem was,  that I had no idea how to save, No idea how to pay bills, had no appreciation for how much it costs running a home and consequently , get my first house and  I was in a lot of debt, ran up huge credit, spending money on luxuries instead of paying the bills and ended up in a lot of trouble.

The good thing to come out of it is that this was when I was very young and I learned from my mistakes and over the years have learnt how to budget, plan ahead, save etc and now my quality of life is very good.

I am determined to make my sons pay   :D :D  but its not the amount that I will be concerned about.  Its making them realise how important it is to budget. I think 10 % is a fair amount, if they are earning a decent wage.  But I will break it down so they know what they are paying for

ie:
£10 p/month - Electricity
£10 p/month - Gas
£10 p/month - Telephone  etc etc.

Also, any money that he gives me (he won't know this!) will go into a savings account for him, so after a few years (whether its a first car or deposit for a house, I will be able to give him all this money he's ;) saved!!

Isabel, I think you are absolutely right, there really aren't any excuses.  I know I am a big softie pushover but I am hoping that 6 months in Australia having to fend for herself will sort my daughter out

My No 3 son is the current (and last I hope!) boomerang - and at the moment, he pays £300 per month AND does the gardening/outside maintenance.   We worked out that this was sufficient to cover all services - ie hot water, telephone, tv licence, washing machine/iron for the use of ;) wear & tear on everything etc etc etc.    It's less than he would be paying in rent for his own place, but it does mean that he can save towards getting a house of his own.   He sorts out his own washing/ironing/tidying his room (I trained 'em all well ;) ) and will quite happily cook a meal for OH & me if he gets in first - so it does work out quite well.

It also means that we have a built-in dog/cat sitter, OH has someone to take him to the Pub if I don't want to go, and we do enjoy his company (on the evenings that he is around!)

Margot

My daughter's training started early!  She was never given any pocket money and had to 'do jobs around the home' to earn it.  By the time she had a Saturday job (at 14) she bought everything that she didn't NEED!  She had started her own business at 14 too and by the time she was doing her A-levels, was driving to school in a better car than many of her teachers, bought with money that she'd earned.
She'd saved her own first year's tuition fees £6,000 and left college with a £32,000 student loan, with me supplying clothes, furnishings etc from car boot sales and Tesco Value food parcels!  She had a friend from a wealthy family whose weekly phone bill (paid by the family!) was more than my daughter's monthly income!
At 27 mine knows the value of money.  She works hard and is very charitable with her time and money.  The daughter whose family provided everything hasn't done a full week's work in the 5 years that they have qualified and rarely gets out of bed before noon!
So I didn't actually take any money from her as she was always studying, working and saving for something important but if there was an expensive time, she would always offer money, and I would always take it.  I'd then give it back by buying a bigger Tesco Value food parcel!! :) 
The most important thing, however you do it depending on your situation, is to teach the value of money.

I'm really impressed, what a twit I've been.  However even though mine have all been treated the same by their silly soft mother they are all different.  My 21 year old has her own flat and more money in savings than me and has been self sufficient financially since getting her first part time job while still at school.  Generous to a fault I think my daughters are alter egos.  Son is good with his money, still only 15 but looks like taking after his older sister thank goodness.

I don't think that you've been a twit!!  We all do what we think is best at the time. 
But apart from our input, our children also have other influences, both genetic (we all know that with outcrossing, the offspring can take after any of the ancestors!! :D), and life experiences which can affect their personality and traits too. ;)

lol the problem is that I know full well that the teen that gives me vapours is the one that takes after me and the goody two shoes kids take after OH - but that's strictly between me and you ;)

:D :D :D
Just looked at your profile.  My daughter's in Hertfordshire!!  Shall I send her round to give lessons????? ;)

Not unless you don't want to see her for 6 months as mine is off to Australia in just over 3 weeks :D :D.  She asked me not to come to the airport as she doesn't want any teary goodbyes but I whispered to my husband "I've got to go just to make sure she gets on the plane" :D :D 

Makes me sound like awful mother but I think the experience will do her the world of good for several reasons

Well whan I was at home it worked out that I paid my mum about 1/3rd of my income, ok so it wasnt much but then another 1/3rd went on transport and lunches and that left me with 1/3rd to buy clothes and contribute to saving for a deposit on a house. Oh and I was expected to help out round the house, somehow I always ended up witht he jobs like painting the outside of the house and fixing cars rather than housework though :)

Well my daughter has returned home after uni and travelling for 6 months and I only take £10 a week from her. I do all her washing and ironing. I don't mind at all as she is very careful with her money and is gradually paying her student loan off. My son is doing a post graduate degree so we are helping him too. I would rather help them now while we can and when they need it.

Get a leaflet from the Benefits agency and you will find that a child under 16 is allocated over £40 a week if the parents are receiving benefit.

Therefore I don't think it unreasonable to ask a working afult offspring that amount in housekeeping.

My daughter gives me £150 a month which is what ehr boyfreind and several of her friends also pay.

As I no longer buy her clothes then it seems fair enough, but it is still a smaller percentage of her take home of £750 a month than I paid when I first started work.

The Home Economics books we used at school suggested in the parts about budgeting etc that about a third in housekeeping was a reasonable amount.

Strange that these things don't seem to be covered in what they are taught now, ahve never seen household budgeting covered.

Teach the kids the difference between disposable income and non disposable.

If you do not do them that service they will end up living in cloud cuckoo land and getting into debt.

they need to realise that after paying the water, gas, electricity, council tax, mortgage/rent, phone, household expenses for cleaning etc not to mention food, car tax, petrol, car/house/building/pet/life assurance not to mention pension plan that there is very little left for recreation.

Postponing the dawn of reality does no one any favours.

And if they must have a credit card:

The best bit of advice I have heard in a long time was that - if you only, ever, pay the minimum amount on your credit card, then you are in big trouble :( :(

Daisy

When I started work I still lived with my mum, dad & brother.  My mum did all my cooking, washing and ironing, it was for me to keep my bedroom clean and tidy and change my bedding.  I used to give my mum a 3rd of my wages.  I also paid for any phone calls I made and anything specific I wanted from the supermarket, for example if I wanted to use a different shampoo to that supplied in the bathroom, I could either buy it myself or my mum would get it with the shopping and I would pay for it, but most of the time I bought my own toiletries anyway.  I had Sky TV in my bedroom which I paid for because it wasn't anywhere else in the house.  I also paid a quarter of the TV licence and a quarter of the council tax.

I always thought a third was a fair price for getting all my washing etc done as well.

Sounds like you ahd heard the same idea of what was fair as I had always been told a third of a first time wage was to be expected as a fair amount, I wonder where you were brought up and what age you are?

I was London bred and brought up and left school in 1981.

I can speak from being on the wrong end of not having to pay my mum a penny, and her still doing all of the housework/washing/ironing/cooking. She had always done everything, and actually even now won't let us do a thing when we go to see her, but I would say she set us up wrong, when I moved in with my hubbie, I had a blooming big shock!! I had no money management skills what so ever, and I am still even now learning how to cook, I am quite good with the housework, because our house as kids was always spotless, so I keep up with it just by habit really, but one thing is for sure, our son will pay us something, and have some minor responsabilities before he hit's the big wide world on his own!