Does anyone know, maybe from personnal experience, of any good www sites that offer advice etc for people thinking about adopting? Either within uk or in country? Anything welcome, including PM,s if you want to keep it private :)

Have PM'd you.

Hi Sam, try www.adoptionuk.org.  The message boards are especially useful and are divided into good categories for pre- and post-adoption issues.

We adopted thirty years ago and it was a *very* steep learning curve - and continues to be a subject of fascination to me. Sorry I can't pm you; our home computer finally died yesterday and can't use work one too often. 

Good luck, Linda

Hi Sam,
Go into your areas "Fostering and adoption site" They will give you a Telephone No.
Ring and ask them to send you all the information. Say, if it was Birmingham, You would
go into "Birmingham Social Services, Adoption and Fostering."
It is difficult to give advice, if you wont to adopt, A social worker will come to see you,
you, you will fill out forms ect; you will have to have a medical, you have, to have a couple of
referees, and they may send you on a training course. Not as bad as it sounds.
You may be asked to a meeting, and met other people that wont to adopt.
First you need to know, what you would like to adopt. age colour, ext;
I have had experience in it.
Regards
Denese
 

Hi Sam,

we're just starting out with the adoption process and as said before it's very much form filling,CRB checks and medicals to begin with. The next stage for us is to attend some group sessions which I think are 4 fulldays, then if they go OK it's the start of the 'home assessment'which is a series of visits over a six month period where you, your OH, and any other significant family members get interviewed. If you've been married before then the ex gets avisit too.. what joy!!!
The home assessment is supposed to take 6 months,but can apparently be a lot longer due to the usual things like lack of social workers. After that your application goes for approval and then you wait for the call! Obviously your choice of age and sex of child will affect how long it takes to get matched with a child as does whether you are able to take sibling groups and children with special needs. If you want to adopt from overseas you still need to go through the same process with your local adoption agency and usually there isa charge [can be upto 5k] for the home assessment. you also need to attend an 'Intercountry Adoption Consultation Day' at the 'Overseas Adoption Helpline' in London- www.oah.org.uk . Good Luck!! LIZ

Hi,
As long as yourself or youself and partner haven't got G.B.H.or A.B.H. or any child abuse
recordes against you. As everythink comes up on your CIB check, you will be O.K.
You get more chance of getting a baby if you decide to take more than one child.
As a lot of little ones come into care, then mom has another and they like to place
them together. If you really wont to adopt don't let any one or anythink put you off.
I have two children who are adopted plus four of my own.

Best of Luck
Denese

thanks to  all who have replied & PM'd me about this. Do you think having a large amount of very large dogs would be an issue? Someone in my breed was turned down because she had 11 giant breed dogs, they tld her to get rid of some & then reapply!!!  As for visiting the ex husband/wife....OMG, they dont do they? tHAT WOULD BE OUR APPLICATION B**ERED FOR A START. Surely they dont do that? :(
My biggest worry is that they would see the hounds as a problem & think we are a bit, well, non pc :) which of course would be true!!! I wouldnt be prepared to give up any of my hounds, which to me shows huge comitment, but to them would probably appear as making us unsuitable!!!

Hi Sam,
Don't worry about them contacting the ex's. I discussed it with our social worker as we have a pretty crap relationship with the ex wife. They are used to ex's and have a good awareness into relationship breakdown. They are legally obliged to contact previous partners [from marriage] due to an incident a few years ago. I think this couple adopted and the man became physically abusive towards the child and it turned out that he'd been physically abusive towards his ex- something like that anyway! So they are just interested in that side really- making sure there's no  skeletons in the cupboard etc. I'm trying to remember if they still speak to ex regardless of whether you've got children together or not. I think they do, but the joke is they don't contact other ex partners that you haven't married! I've loads but no ex husband!!
I don't even speak to ex wife- I can't STAND her- and am sure she badmouths me. However, the kids come every w/e and during the week and I have a good relationship with them. I'm certainly not prepared to suck upto Cruella whatever may be at stake and the SW knows that. They come across it regularly. Don't 4get you've got other refs and the ex plays only a very small part in the overall assessment. 

Sam I know these thing are not always that logical but if you can demonstrate well behaved and kept dogs and still show you have time to look after children I think you have proved yourself well on the way to the title superparent :D Just dont tell them how you are going to clicker train the children :D :D  Although thinking about it there are a lot of similarities ;)   

LOL!! Might try clicker training witrhy my step-children!

bluebell....its the "well behaved" bit that wories me!!!!  :)  They behave as i wish them to...as a pack of working hounds..but probably not what the average social worker would want!!!! :)

LOL Sam. Perhaps they shouldnt get the full benefit of the pack at first meeting then ;) Although I still cant work out why other people dont enjoy the enthusiastic greeting that my Labs specialise in :D

OOh you could think up a list of ways in which havign dogs will be a positive for the child/children though.

Hi Sam,
If you have one or two dogs they just check them, If you have more they
say it is a pack and they have to be vet checked. But! I wouldn't worry to much
if your dogs are not nasty. If there is bad feelings between you and your X. just
be honest and tell them. NO! relationship is better than a bad one!
They do take in to account, there will be nasty things said! DON'T worry just
go for it! The Social Worker will come back and tell you what they have said,
just don't get angry, tell them your side of the story. All kind of people adopt.
You will never know if you don't try.
Regards
Denese

do they visit even if one of our ex's lives hundreds of miles away? I really feel most uncomfortable about them knowing our business, especially as one has history of mental health problms partly caused over lack children. I would be tempted to say I dont know where he is!

Sam
Re dogs-

I have a practice note issued by BAAF which sets out guidelines for family placement social workers assessing dogs in the home. It contains basic info on dogs which you already know but it might help you understand what they are looking for. The dogs are part of your work so lots of objective references from people who have seen you working with the dogs would be good. If you apply through your local authority then they will be used to seeing lots of working dogs.

Re ex-es - I wouldn't worry about them - the social worker just wants to know that neither of you are physically or mentally abusive. They will know that the views of the ex-es will be very subjective and no doubt you would be able to counterbalance these with strong references from others.

If you have already subscribed to BAAF then you can download the note - [number 42]. If not, please PM if you would like me to email it somewhere -it is in Acrobat format.

cissy

Hi Sam,
Tell them they have a history of mental illness, and you do not know where they are, all so if they do manage to find them that you would hold them [Social Services] responsible for your safty.
You will find that every one in authority covers there back and never wants to be held responsible
for anythink.
Regards
Denese

Hi Sam,

In support of what Denese has said, just be honest with the SW and I'm sure everything will be OK.

Good Luck, Liz