I received this in an email the other day. It made me laugh so much! Number 3 has got to be my favourite!

1. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote but they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

2. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it". Damn right! What good is a cake if you cant eat it?

3. When people say "Its always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

4. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?". No loser, I paid £12 to come to the cinema and stare at the freakin floor.

5. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didnt really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

6. When something is 'New and improved!'. Which is it? If its new, then there has never been anything before it. If its an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

7. When people say "Life is short". What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fricking does! What can you do thats longer?

8. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?!

9. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

LOLOLOLOL - I love number 2, it's one of M-in-Laws favourite sayings to me and my OH :)

Just remember that reply when she next says something like that then! I'm trying to memerise them all. They're so great!

I also like the other saying that us women are alledgedly reported to say to our OH when they ask us where something is - 'it's where you left it'  - can't ever remember saying that though can you ;)

No I can't remember that. I get lots of emails like that from friend but if I repeated half the jokes on here then Admin would probably throw me off!

#3 would be 'the last place you WOULD look' meaning it's probably somewhere that you would never think it'd be. Cross that out!

Oh dear, I'm always screaming 'IT'S WHERE YOU LEFT IT' at my two darling stepchildren- that and 'SHOVE A BRUSH UP MI BACKSIDE AND I'LL SWEEP THE FLOOR AS WELL.'

But that's probably 'cos I'm a nasty wicked old witch who[apparently] needs therapy... LOL!! 

or dont come running to me if you break your leg!

or my mother who always complained when i never said sorry and when i did say sorry told me its too late to say sorry now!!