My wife and I were going round our local supermarket getting the messages in for the week and my wife stopped to look at the reduced meat counter fo bargains. (womans thing I beleive) The counter was very busy with others and in my best Glasgow voice I said "See if theres anythin in there fur the dugs". Shouldve seen the faces and the spaces at the counter as everybody left.

we were howling with laughter afterwards.

LOL - neat trick, I shall have to remember that one ;)

Eeeh, well I always do that on the cheap meat counter, so I'm in good company then :d  With my great Mancunian accent :d

I always embarass my husband. I'm a vegetarian (have been since I was 12) and I cannot STAND to look at all the body parts in the meat counters. YUCK!! Worst of all is the birds -I've got a dead bird phobia (can't even watch somebody eat chicken if you can SEE what it is), and to me a dead bird looks like a dead bird whatever species they are, so whenever I HAVE to walk past them I always make loud comments about all the dead budgies and cockatiels in ASDA. ;) Occasionally we buy packs of sliced ham or turkey and similar (thanfully doesn't look too much like dead animals) and I've often made the comment on how it's just cat food.

Once we bought up ALL the stock of old loaves they sold off, and commented on it being for the mice. :D

Good job my other half knows me and is used to me, LOL.

Marianne

If I heard you I would fall about laughing and probably say something like Ive been married to a dead bird for years. Then duck/dive/and run as the wife attacks me.

Need to have a laugh when shopping or you would go mad.

With my OH, I bought a 2 metre length of copper pipe in B&Q once, at the check out I asked the girl if she could put it in a bag, we had to hold each other up to walk out after watching her look for a 2 metre bag to put it in and she apologised when she couldn't find one :D :D :D :D :D  peed my pants that day :D :D :D

Now thats a good un need to do that one

Forgot to say,

I also drive my daughter nuts when I take her to IKEA :D :D  I can't help walking around saying things in a ripe Scandinavian/Swedish accent, "Oh, look at de lovely lompen, oh look at de fluur....."  mind you I nearly died when we were walking around one day and saw a fifty year old woman walking in front of us with thick yellow haired plaits and dressed like Heidi in the film   Big Girl put her hand over my mouth and dragged me away ;) ;) she knows me too well :D :D :D

Im afraid I would encourage you.

Hahaha ROFL!! I do that as well, except I do it IN Swedish as I AM Swedish! Always cracks my step son up! I keep wishing they'd have a comepetiton in IKEA for who could pronounce the names of the products best! ;)

Marianne

A few of my mates were away fishing one night and they had the wee bells on their rods so they new if they got a bite as it was dark. As one of the guys was falling asleep at the fire someone clip a bell on to his hat. Took a couple of shots running for his rod before he realised why everyone was falling about laughing

Shops do seem to bring out the best / worst in me and mine, I can think of a few things.

Where I used to live they had one of these pound store things and the kids would drag me in there to spend their money (on crap) one day I'd had enough and every time they showed me something I'd say 'That's crap' but each time louder, the kids took this as a dare and we wandered around the shop, them picking things up and me saying 'that's crap' louder for each item until I was all but shouting. It became a battle of wills and the kids bottled it first and dragged me out of the shop :-)

Another time were were in Tesco's and I went to pick up one of them 6 packs of coke in the cardboard box / tubey things, well it slipped in me hand and 3 of the cans fell out. 2 were fine but the 3rd sprung a pin hole sized leak theorugh which the coke squirted at about 200 psi. This thing was spinning around the floor like a the Tasmanian Devil in Bugs Bunny spraying coke over us, the floor, the shelves and probably the ceiling whilst we all wet ourselves, we moved off quickly to look for something else to break and the last I saw was this thing spinning under the shelves with great circles of coke still peeing out in all directions.

There was the time on the bus on the way home from the shops when my eldest was 3 or 4 when this enormous fat woman got on the bus in front of us. Of course once we were on the bus and it was quiet little one had to ask at the top of here voice. 'Dad, why's that woman so fat . . . .'

There's been loads and for some reason it is always in shops.

I remember once when my daughter was about 7/8 and we was on the bus going home, and she was going through the stage of playing with her brothers action man, took it everywhere she went. And she took his clothes off and shouted all over the bus "Look mum, action man is doing the full monty".