Is it just me getting old and moany, or have the soaps had a lot of swearing in them recently? Surely I am not the only one picking up on it? The word b*tch maynot be the worst word in the world, but at 7.15 in the evening, when my little lad is watching, I do find it a bit shocking! It isn't just the soaps, an advert on ITV just had the word b*oody in it. I know it might be a bit petty, but we don't say anything worse than 'blimey' or 'gorden bennit' in front of our little boy, only to switch telly on (before the watershed) and have him listening to it on there.

Am I just being an old prude, or does anyone else think it is not needed?

I don't watch the soaps now as my OH has successfully persuaded me that they are full of complete drivel :D

It is bad if there is swearing in them but nowadays the 'soft' swearing seems more acceptable :rolleyes:

Lucy
xx

This is what I mean, 'soft' swearing, should it be more acceptable? I am not saying that I have never sworn in my life, but as I said we do try to watch what we say in front our son, so to then sit down in the evening and have to listen to it on the telly just seems like we are going round in circles! :rolleyes:

Unfortunately, some children, even as young as your son, seem to be experts in the 'art'. I'm horrified when I hear children swear - but when their parent's open their mouths, you know exactly where they have learnt it :( :(

I'm a prude too :D

Daisy

I am the same Daisy, I can't stand to hear children swearing, which is exactly why we don't swear in front of Thomas!

It does just go to show that he would pick it up, because he already says 'blooming 'eck' in his northern accent, it is quite sweet the way he says it, but he gets 'the look' and soon stops short!!!

The 'soft swearing' that annoys me the most is hearing small children (and adults too, of course) saying "Oh My God" in that sing-song way. It's everywhere. :(

To me, swearing just proves a lack of vocabulary on the part of the swearer.  I think we all say the odd swearie now and then - I nearly had a vehicular incident of the fatal kind on Saturday (not my fault) and I screamed SH*T very loudly at the time - but I hate hearing it as part of every day language :(

I think now-a-days, "Oh my God" isn't said with any meaning what so ever. It isn't said in a pleading way, asking the Lord for help with something, it isn't said to be insultive to anyone who is religious, it is just as much a saying as "Oh my goodness", "blinking 'eck", and probably "b*oody hell".

I know it doesn't make it right, but most people wouldn't ever even think about what it is they are actually saying. :rolleyes:

>most people wouldn't ever even think about what it is they are actually saying.

I think that's hit the nail on the head. :( It's interesting that 'Oh my goodness' was introduced as a way of avoiding saying 'Oh my God' (which was considered to be blasphemy, and a sin). The same with swearing - I mean, how come the f-word, which has a meaning all of its own, is used instead of 'very'? :rolleyes: It's sad that so many people are so ignorant of their own language that they misuse it so. :(

I suppose it is the way with most things now :rolleyes: Still doesn't make it right though.

Cant say those level of words would bother me at 7.30pm - with or without kids present.
Kids hear and say worse at school.

Just out of interest, its actually legal to use swear words in general any time of the day on Danish TV. Also, Denmark legalised pornography way back in the sixties.

As an on-off Dansih resident myself I can tell you the people are still very conservative in there ways, much more polite and mild mannered than English people. The teenages are polite when out and about in groups of an evening, unlike the english ones. The Lutheran Church and its traditions are still very active and strong in society, even with the young.

And despite the relaxation of pornography and TV swearing, there still isnt anymore of either on Danish TV than English. Nor has either lead to any sort of decline or escalation in entertainment or social standards.

People are generally relaxed about such things over there.

Depends on the person's own social standards :)

Lucy
xx

Too true :) I'm afraid that a lot of people just don't have any 'standards' these days. I've never been afraid of telling my children that 'it's not the way that we do things in this house' :D They might not have liked it at the time, but certainly see why we have these 'standards' now. When we were children we looked in disgust at any drunks in the street (they were usually 'winos'). Now, people think that anyone who has not been blind drunk are freeks :(

I sound just like my mother :D

Daisy

Objectively speaking, that would be depends on the persons social opinions.
We all agree on basic morals re murder etc, anything else is just a personal value judgement.
For example, re the drunks on the street. i would disagree, most people i know dont think they look acceptable, and dislike them. but most people i know also dont have any problems with bloody or bitch on TV.
Tolerance of one doesnt automatically equal acceptance of the other, or any suchlike comparisons.
In Denmark, they have VERY strong social standards, and wouldnt tolerance street drunks etc whilst still tolerating TV swearing and pornography cinemas.

Absolutely. :)

Clutha,

It is good that Denmark are relaxed and don't have any social problems, but I think because of the country we do live in, and the way there are so many rules and regs about everything we do, I just don't think it is appropriate to have swear words, even if they can be described as soft, on the telly before the watershed (by the way what has happened to that?) which is when even if my little lad was still up at nine, I could then either find something else to watch with no swearing, or turn it off.

I think at the very least they should have a warning at the beginning of the program, so at least you have a slight chance of not having to watch it.

I know kids swear at school, it is expected, but my lad is three years old, why should I let him be exposed to swearing now, just because he will hear it at some point? Goodness, he probably has already heard it all, but luckily because I do try to shield him from it, he has never yet picked up on it.

I know I probably sound like a right prudey old bag, I am not, I am 22, but why should my efforts to keep my son on the stright and narrow, when so many kids are off the rails, be put in near jeopardy, just because of the telly? I know if he says a swear word, it doesn't mean he will grow up to be a murdering/drug dealing/robbing so and so, but as has been said I can't bare to hear children swearing on the streets, and I always think "goodness me, I wonder what his mother is like?", and if there is any hope, I don't ever want someone to feel like that about my son!!!

>why should I let him be exposed to swearing now, just because he will hear it at some point?

Absolutely right! You shouldn't. That argument simply doesn't hold water, because otherwise you might as well let him smoke or get him drunk because 'it'll happen to him some time'.

Quite right JG.

Natalie1212, you are quite right to try to set decent standards for your son.  He will get to hear and see lots of nasty things in his life, but at least he will have been shown decent standards to know the difference.  I am one of the 'old prudes' on this forum :) :) but I am pleased to see that age doesn't really come into it!!  Good on you!!

Thanks Oldilocks, :D

Now I feel like a 'little miss perfect'!! I am not saying everyone should do as I do, but it is just how I want to raise my son, my choice, well it was how I was raised, so I suppose it isn't a choice as such.

It does make you wonder though, how these parents that can't speak with out swearing at least once, do they make a choice? Do they choose not to molly-cuddle their kids, and let them grow up 'in the real world'? Or is it just because they really don't care? Or do they not know any different? It makes me wonder!

It should NOT be necessary ...I am a member of the old prude club too!

The old Prude club up here also :-D 

I am a terrible old prude with somethings ;-)

It's not just the soaps, which are bad enough, but it's the adverts too. Am I the only one to be gobsmacked at the latest one for a make of car (no idea which, so the ad hasn't worked with me!) with the shop-window mannequin in the back?

No Jeangenie, you aren't the only one!  I think that it is really crude! 

It's definitely not necessary but unfortunately where I live conversations are overhead by parents to their children where there are more swear words than anything else in the sentence.  I'm no prude but feel that I could never invite friends especially ones from Spain and America to stay at my house as I think that they'd get quite a shock :d

It's amazing as my parents only live down the road and the area is so different, you never hear anyone swearing there.

I don't think I have seen that advert, so can't comment.

Everybody loves raymond is an awsome sitcom.

......?

You beat me to it Oldilocks...

Nothing , i hate soaps :p

HI Natalie
I agree with yout that programmes should have warnings at the beginning to give you an informed choice.
Re your point about "because of the country we do live in, and the way there are so many rules and regs about everything we do, I just don't think it is appropriate to have swear words", im not too sure I follow you there?? As all countries have rules and regulations?? Denmark has as many as UK, for example.
Do you mean differences in our cultures???

If its cultural, then further in your post you may have hit upon the answer?
You say "I know if he says a swear word, it doesn't mean he will grow up to be a murdering/drug dealing/robbing so and so", thus seemingy agreeing that hearing the words bloody and bitch on TV doesnt automatically equate with other (bad) behaviours (as in Denamrk, for example), but then go on to say
"I can't bare to hear children swearing on the streets, and I always think "goodness me, I wonder what his mother is like?, and if there is any hope, I don't ever want someone to feel like that about my son!!!"

The Danes are known as the relaxed people of Scandinavia, and the country I was bought up in, New Zealand, are also too laid back to worry about what other people are up to
In both countries, people generally keep themselves busy with there own lives, and unless someone is directly interfering with their lives, they dont really spend time, energy, or thought upon other peoples standards or values.
English people on the other hand...............well, we arent called winging poms for nuthin!
And we are the country where the concept of "worrying about what the Jones's are up to" came from.
Leafy Lane Neighbours at War TV anyone?
Those programmes  - and the people on them - i find far more offensive.
Just food for thought Natalie, but from your quote above, if you examine your motivations, isnt it all about what people think about you?? The English Condition?
A question offered respectfully for discusssion, not judgement.

Absolute Values re murder etc, fine.
But I would say the rest is no more or less than what one just personally doesnt like, not "lack of standards".
It depends upon what you value or devalue most highly.
In this country there is the stereotype of the middle class middle england busybody - all repectable up front - but full of seething deep down rage - and dishonest with it - sneakily scheming behind other peoples' backs, as they just happen to not like the victims lifestyle choices.
But pretty petty in the Grand Scheme Of Things.
Then there is the working class stereotype of council estate Kids From Hell, swearing, etc.
I find the dishonestly backstabbing of the "repectable front" more beneath my own personal standards than the direct and honest expression of council estate kids *that do not cause crime, harm, or social menace*
But I also feel it is the intention behind an annoying action that is the point, not the action itself.
For example, due the busybodyness of the middle class stereotypes, we have community spirit, looking out for the elderly in the winter, and crime prevention schemes.

I feel the only difference to your child growing up to be trouble-free will be you, his good mum.
Quite fairly you complain that the words bloody and bitch are now a pre-watershed norm which means a choice has been taking away from your regarding your son's upbringing.
But I would argue that you in fact still "own" that choice - by choosing not to switch on the TV.

thank for the thread and the stimulating discussion, Clutha

Hi Clutha,

Wow, so many good points!! I don't know where to start!! :D

I think your main point was how english people worry too much about what is going on in other peoples lives. It is a fair point, that perhaps we would all benefit if we weren't, as a nation, so hung up on 'that woman down the road'. At the end of the day though, this is how we are, and this is the way we will (probably) always be. I won't lie to you, there are people that because of the way they speak, or what words they choose to use, seem to be bad characters/influence, just the same as if someone speaks nicely, and is always polite, they seem like a good charater/influence. I think this would be the same in most countries and cultures across the world, it would maybe differ as to how much this affects the person who is 'judging' the character.

There a few different reasons why I don't like to let my son swear, one of which is because of how others see it, but there are others. What happens if he used a swear word in every sentence when he starts school? And if it wasn't nipped in the bud there, what about when he goes for a job? I know if I was looking to employ someone, and one of the candidates was swearing at me, I wouldn't give them the job! Another reason is about respect, I don't go around swearing at people, and I would take great offence if someone started swearing at me! And if it was my son swearing at me, he would be in his bedroom before he finished saying it!

Just as a quick note about turning the telly off, the watershed is there for a reason, so that we DON'T have swearing/nudity/adult humour for all to see in the day. I am not moaning about there being swearing after 9 o'clock, I haven't got a problem with that at all, what I don't like is to sit down to watch Emerdale, and be faced with it then, yes I could turn the telly off, but then why have a telly?

If I have not answered any point that you wanted me to, let me know.

I must say it nice to be able to have a discussion with out it turning into an argument! :D