Hi. I would be grateful to receive your comments on my situation. I have always loved dogs. I had a mongrel in my teens and my beloved cocker saw me through my 20s and into my 30s. I worked but went home every day at lunchtime to walk her. My husband cried almost as much as I did when we had to put her down. My eldest son was then 18 months old and I admit it was tough to give my dog all the attention she needed as my son was such hard work! He is now 8 and my youngest (twins) are 3. The kids love dogs too.

I now want another cocker bitch but everyone -hubbie, parents & friends are all waxing lyrical about what a bad idea it is. I don't get it. I'm at home all week (I do some weekend work and some work from home); the kids will be at school/nursery; I have to walk them through a park to get to school/nursery; we have a large house and garden. What is the problem? Everyone is saying that I have had a hard time with the twins (true) and I need to relax and enjoy some time to myself. They don't understand that walking the dog IS enjoyable! Anyone who thinks one small dog is as difficult as two boistrous toddlers knows nothing.

Hubbie says no doubt I shall do what I want but I don't want to be unreasonable. I am 45 years old and this is my life too. What would you do????

If its something that would make you happy and you have the time to look after a puppy then why not? Ive not long bought a puppy, i have a 2 year old son aswell, although he can be a pain in the bum, ive time for both, my boy loves my pup, his not even at nursery yet! Personally id get one in your situation :) Good luck :)

Personally I can't see any problem with you having a dog as long as it isn't a big boisterous one and is one that is child friendly :-)  I am not sure whether Cockers are child friendly though, maybe someone else could tell you about that.

I have a child who is four and we had a dog before we had her (a German Shepherd who was fantastic with her but who we sadly lost last year due to an incurable disease :-( )  We got another dog (a puppy) last year - a Bichon Frise and he is absolutely fantastic with my daughter and she was 3 when we had him.  You just have to be careful never to leave a dog alone with young children even for a few minutes just in case, its better to be safe than sorry.

Hope you get your dog soon :-)

Oh dear,cant really give you any advice,i can understand where people are coming from if you had a tuff time with your twins but if you feel this is what you need and the walks will relax you,then only you know that it will,i must admit i love walking my pup.Dont forget you wont be able to take it out for a while,till all vaccinatins are up to date and a lively puppy and children can be waring i should imagine,( my two are in their twenties) so i didnt have that problem,you will also have the teething stage most puppies seem to prefer humans to teeth on despite how many chews or toys you buy them,then there is the housetraining and the possibility of 3 children is it and a puppy all running round.
The good points they are such fun good company,great to talk too when no one else around and it is nice for children to have a dog,and you have had them before so you would make sure your children treated it with respect,as you seem responsible.How about writing a pros and cons list.I know what you mean though when everyone thinks they know what you want and what is best for you especially when you are supposed to be a grown up.i am sure you will make the right decision and good luck in convincing everybody else,especially hubby.You can pm me if you want a chat or a moan.
Lynn.

Well you were in a less ideal situation woning your previous dog.  thing is many of the peleasures of dog ownership are waht others see as disadvatages. so go for it.

It won't be easy juggling the needs of the children and the puppy, but it's by no means impossible. Small children seem to bring out the worst in puppies, and vice versa! However if you're prepared to put in the effort it'll be well worth it. Good luck.
:)

Hi,
If you won't a dog and you have had one before, why not!!! You can bring
them all up together. I was brought up with dogs, so were my children.
We have just come back from a walk in the park with my 3year old granchild
holding the lead, most of the time, with our Sammy puppy who is now 12 weeks old
they both love it. The pup walks lovely on her extention lead with little
Ella-Rose holding her. I say go for it!! The Summer is best time to start though.
Regards
Denese

Hi I am in a similar position to you, my Hubby didn't want another dog after our Lab died in February, but I couldn't imagine life without a dog in the family. My kids are 4 and 6 years old and it has brought out the caring and loving side of my 6 year old son.

It is hard juggling the demands of kids and a puppy, especially stood in the garden trying to get pup to have a wee while the kids need to get ready for school,have their tea etc, but one thing I have learn't is don't expect any help from a hubby who didn't want you to have the dog in the first place. With that 'I told you so' look on his face as you mop up the wee on the kichen floor that the kids have just walked through and got wet socks!! LOL

If your husband is against it and other family members are I don't think it would be worth you getting a dog.  I know too many people who have and then their marriages relationships have broken up.

I too would be afraid that getting a dog against your husbands wishes might cause additional stress and I'm not the type of person to be told what to do or what not to do by anyone, especially the OH. However, raising a puppy requires consistency and commitment from all members of the family who will be in day to day contact with the pup so you could find it difficult if not everyone is 100% on board. Having said all that, you are in the best position to judge your situation so only you know if its manageable and if your relationship with your husband can withstand a few of the 'I told you so' type arguments that are guaranteed to occur.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I have 5 children and always had dogs. I think if you know you have the time, financial means and most of all love for a dog then you should go ahead and enjoy a new pup.

I have basic rules when I home puppies - that the pup isn't left for more than 4 hours, no children under 5 years old, fenced garden, some knowledge/interest in the breed etc.  However, I listen to what the person says and if, as has happened 3 times now, the Mother (usually the one in charge of the children/at home during the day) has thought through the potential problems and explains how she is going to make time for the puppy during the day, then I have successfully broken my own rules 3 times.  To cope with 3 years old twins would be difficult but not impossible.
BUT I would not home a puppy where the whole family isn't in agreement about wanting the puppy.  Having a new puppy in the home is a stressful as well as pleasurable experience and pups with sense a stressful atmosphere.
Your passion for wanting a puppy is clear from your post and I can certainly sympathise with that - I desperately wanted a dog as a child and my parents didn't - but as a breeder, my priority is to place my puppies in the best possible homes for them.

I would say go for it if you have thought it through and feel you can cope :)

We have 2 dogs and a 6yr old disabled child (3yrs when we got the 1st dog).
If anything i find i'm less stressed and more patient with my daughter due to the dogs! If we raise our voices the dogs go hide and because i adore them so much its not very often theres raised voices so my daughter feels the benefit of a relaxed mother and household!

(I'm sure theres logic in my thinking somewhere :D )

My hubby was adamant he didn't want another dog, but now we have Oscar, I may do all the hard work with him but Hubby is the one who rolls around on the floor with him. LOL Men don't always know whats best for them!

Like someone said it really depends on you relationship and my Hubby may give me the 'I told you so ' Look when I'm a bit harrassed but he did eventually after a couple of weeks admit it was nice having a dog around again.

After all when he married me we had 3 dogs, so it wasn't as if he didn't know what he was letting himself in for!

In the interests of marital harmony :) it might be better to have a discusion with hubbie as to when he feels the family would be ready to introduce a dog.  If he suggests leaving it a couple of years I think it might be worth having a little patience because obviously it is better for everyone, not least the dog, if all parties are on board and a little give and take is always a good thing in a marriage :)

Without putting a complete dampener on things, a few questions need to be addressed. Its not just hubby who is against you getting a dog, but friends and parents also, is there any particular reason for this. Maybe something you have left out of your original posting.

You may be at home full time at the moment, but has hubby maybe thinking you will go back to work full time when all children are at school in a couple of years, (and maybe not have discussed this with you yet)???

Being an 'at home mum' with young children and dogs do work, I myself have been there, 2 young daughters and up to 5 dogs at any one time. But i also had full backing and help from my husband

My husband was in similar vein to yours, do what you want, and, usually I did.  But, anything I did do, I took my family into consideration as well. But, deep down, if he did say he did not approve, 'but go ahead, you will anyway, I had to stop and see things from his side.  Hate to say this, but he was usually right!!!

However, back to my first reaction, why is it not just your husband who thinks its a bad idea, but also friends and relatives. I am thinking there must be more to this than you have told us.

Why dont you join the forum (its free), maybe we can all think of some solution to this :)

If you really really want a dog then go for it. Take him round the rescue centres 'just to look', make a fuss of any dog you come across see his reaction. I did. When Benji died 8 years ago, my OH said no more. But six months later I really missed having a dog about the place, I had four children, one who was only 2 at the tim he agreed saying 'tis your dog, you look after it'. I went to the rescue and found Missie. It only took a few hours for him to 'bond' with her as she was such a quiet, well behaved little girl :) Six years later I fell in love with leonbergers and made sure he always caught me reading books about the care etc of leos, surfin' the net and introducing him to my mates leos. Eventually he warmed to the idea of having a large dog and without further delay and after doing lots more research on pedigress etc. I booked a puppy. 12 months later I even managed to get a second leo! :D He doesn't mind taking any of them for a walk, and he will even clean up after them. In fact he re-designed the whole garden just to ensure their safety!
I'm not saying to go about it the way I did, just that it is possible he will come round and if you are really sure you can look after it and devote a lot of attention and time, then whats wrong with that?
Dee
And who says I'm gonna stop at 2? <LOL>

Hi
I have just joined so that I can thank you all for your reponses to my posting.

In truth, hubbie and I love each other to bits so no way am I going to do anything without some sort of approval from him. He's not anti-dog, rather anti-pooper scooping (especially after all those nappy changes) LOL. Family and friends object because I have had a bit of a tough time over the last few years and, well, I'm a lone doggy person amongst a bunch of philistines!

I'm going to give it a bit longer, buy the puppy training manuals, find a good breeder etc etc. He'll come round.

Watch this space!!!

PS What's a "troll post"?

Oh good for you!

My outlaws have a very similar outlook so much so i avoid them like the plague :D

Have fun looking and researching!

I think that's very wise cleo!!  In a year's time, the 3 year olds will be going to nursery part-time or whatever, you'll have more time to give to a puppy, hubby will have time to get used to the idea etc.  And there's no reason why in the meantime, you can't make contact with a reputable breeder, meet her dogs so that you have something to look forward to.  A good breeder will appreciate you being forward thinking and making plans for when you are in a better position to take on a new addition to your family! :)

You could always take him to a local dog show ;) you never know he might get smitten, my special boy was on bestest behaviour at Blackpool with a young Autistic boy whose mum was amazed that he took the boys behaviour in his stride(I don't do children but JD loves them of all sizes)The mum thought all the dogs would growl at her son so when JD smothered him in Cavalier kisses & hugs she was quite won over & the dad said a sort of told you so ;) I did tell her however that not all dogs are like JD but most dogs are brilliant at sensing the special children amougst us