A bloke is sitting quietly, reading his newspaper one morning when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of the head with a huge frying pan.

Bloke: what was that for?
Wife: what was that piece of paper in your jacket pocket with the name 'Marianne' written on it?
Bloke: Remember two weeks ago when I went to the races?  'Marianne' was the name of one of the horses I bet on.

The wife looks sheepish, apologises and goes to put the frying pan back in the kitchen.

Three days later he's once again sitting in his chair reading when she repeats the frying pan attack.

Bloke: what the hell was that for this time?
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Wife: Your horse phoned.

Joke 2:

Why can't blokes make ice cubes?
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They don't know the recipe

Joke 3:

Why do blokes like smart women?
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Opposites attract

Joke 4:

A bloke goes to see the doctor after a sudden illness.  He takes his wife with him and after a thorough examination the doctor asks if he could speak to the wife for a moment.  The bloke leaves the room while the doctor tells the wife the bad news.
'Your husband has a rare condition - any form of stress could instantly kill him so you must cater to his every whim.  Make him breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Make love to him whenever he requires.  Don't give him any bad news at all.  Is that understood?'

The wife nods and then leaves to join her husband.  Once outside the bloke asks his wife 'what did the doctor say?'

She replied solemnly
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'He said you're going to die very soon'

And finally:

Why shouldn't you hit a bloke with glasses?
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A baseball bat is much more effective

:D :D :D :D

(Sorry guys!!)

lol :D

Thanks for those,I'll have great pleasure in passing them on to a couple of MCP's.

MCP's???  Explain!!!  Is it 'my close pals?'

Male Chauvinist Pigs! :)

Ahhhh!   Well there's plenty of them to be telling.....

;)

Male Chauvinist Pigs.