A big strong hunk called Cyril lurved a sweet sherry with a pickled onion, he repeated this ritual every daily, until he accidentally repeated one to many. He went go almighty my nose, I need a break so he jumped into his mothers Subaru and sped hastily along until he saw HIM, got out narrowly avoiding, argghh the b524 towards Wigan Pier by the convent, next to my house. He panicked when approaching a puddle. Behind him coming along were seven weird looking traffic wardens, waiving hiya with their arms flailing, wearing pink leather boots and brandishing feather dusters, with marigolds, all shouting "dogs rule". So where can Cyril find time.
Hide and seek out new civilisation, going boldly, avoiding dog poop, tip-toeing through tulips, round daisies and meets his mother,
Has issues regarding his exposed floppy! So she looked around and saw local bobby looking suspiciously who said "now then time for bed bad boy or ill throw out some of your favourite handcuffs and whips". Up some little little alley where hobbits lurk laughing, "mug him quick lets pour on magic dust and disappear to neverland where monkeys rule the face masks, where babies dance on balconys, where men can do cartwheels down the hill and women watch the re-runs of Father Ted who is sadly dead". Cyril walked towards his destiny with-out hesitation, knowing that never again would ducks waddle in our out of his lonely life, wearing only long black afro wigs and red painted nails, Bridget-Jones knickers and sixteen bobble hats leering at a toffee crisp. Whilst rubbing his parrot with his hairy thing! After this quick breather, but suddenly Miss Whiplash found god underneath the pile of monster munch.
She decided to eat a toad called Cedric, whose feet were so filthy black, amongst the snail trail.Out came two bunnies who had looked at More Magazine in his gammy-y fronts! That smelt similar to skunk bottom and looked just like Tony Blair who said " wash your face you minger, you filthy repulsive toad" Cherrie, replied "Cyril I need to have a bath badly. "Look at the state you've got moles on your new little thingy, What will happen now? Cyril climbed onto a small horse named pickle, with bucked teeth and fell off, He landed on his head said 'Oh that hurt'. Up he flew and bit his great aunt 'whoops' he shouted you who dropped from the balcony, into the dark depths. A baby Orang-utan called bubbles 2nd landed in a pile called Neverland. Where Michael offered to climb into a giant naughty magazine and pose with Bubbles, when he pulled off his nose a rather pointless thing to do. His Glove all black with a film stuffed inside, The evidence was under whelming flawed so John Redwood took his monkey away to Wales, The end of the world is nigh.

In the summer time on a busy street I lost my guitar so now I hum the tune through a bullhorn and then a doctor put his left ear back on upside down, the wrong size nose made him look like a wicked pop star who was known as R.Slicker, because he was a mastermind at snot microbiology and tasting dog poo.
His real dad was a botanist who also called Pansy, had a nasty wall flower dropping from the bottom of his left nostril. However his right nostril, daughter daisy was snotty and immature and his pet monkey was as spoilt as his pet lawyer, who battled against charges of exasperating Admin, but they kept following until they could take over the World, then the zombies cooked dinner which consisted of mashed brains, sheep eye balls! He was absolutely devastated to find out that he sucked up a rubix cube and choked, sputtering, gagging, 'I'm dying for closure just one cornetto give it to me' The end of the road poor Cyril if only he'd have a big think and go back and retrace his steps before he takes his false teeth and shoves the banana where the sun don't shine! Then piles aplenty shone through the crack! Cynical Cyril bent over a large pink fluffy rabbit, gasped again, again it continued until he gave up floundered and drank cyanide panicked blindly. His left toe fell off but he hopped over or bothered. Because his DNA allowed the pathologist to perform a major rebuild, Cyril then decided a change of underwear could be, something comfy which might air his hairy, spotty
views on Wide World religion and the price of lemmings, although what turned him off the rock solid high road which led to him being caught with his finger in the pie! Which was on special offer BOGOF, stuffed with flamingos, he thought to him self ... oh my god that looks nice I might have seconds but wait, Cyril realised that the only way to do what he knew was to kiss, no tongues or smelly garlic breath, the ugly toad that he was already dating Cherie Blair who juggles domination matrix with her mat and broom stick, black cat and Tony's friend Guy, nice chap, bit dim but big and sexy with pink in Calvin Kleins, they decided to emigrate to Mars, but there huge Cyclops went round to Cyrils and punched him on his nose,
Cyril then kissed him on his head and pushed him down the stairs, he landed on his laser gun which fired red blobs up his r's hole!! Then he zipped up his suitcase, jumped on his unicycle and rode off up the lane ponderously wondering about colonic-irrigation he decided not to instead he booked a holiday to hells kitchen, where he swore at the guests, Ate all the sprouts and tatties which gave him heart burn.
That night he suddenly exploded all over the clean duvet which his mother had fed to Gordon Ramsay, who then swore at Michael Jackson 'oh no' he cried 'look what my nose has done its it's gone'.
See Tony as Guy pulled him down a cauliflower from his hot-air balloon then unbelievably Billy Jean telephoned 118118 and asked for Bob's lawyers number unfortunately thou his lawyer tried to shake his maracas vigorously with his big clumsy fully erected tent as Mr Floppy his uncle came out from hiding under Michaels very large ballerina skirt which ripped up his complaint letter to Sony detailing serious bedroom activities!

THE END!!!

:d :d :d :d :d :d   We are all mmmmmaaaaaaadddddddd  I tell you mad.

i must be pretty mad to spend half a hour typing it up in word lol

Goody - I don't have to do it :D

Margot

Soooo - when does it get published then? :-D

I reakon it should be published and the money go to a doggie charity, come on it could be a well cool book.

So? Who's going to do the illustrating then? We need a picture of Cyrill surely. Who do you think should play Cyrill when someone buys the rights and makes a film from it?
I think Austin Powers?

i cant draw so dont look at me lol, i reakon George Bush would make a good Cyril hehe

:D :D