Hello everyone,
Tonight I am heartbroken. Why? My pups are healthy. My bitch is healthy. What reason to be sad?
I am a first time breeder. We had 6 healthy pups with no whelping problems. All puppies thrived. I have spent weeks, first in the whelping box (yes IN the whelping box) and then in the puppy pen nurturing and caring for each and every puppy. Poo became a cause for major discussion with me and husband. Was it formed? How often? How did they eat today? How are their eyes, ears, nose? Life as I knew it was over. My life was these puppies and everything they did.
I watched each puppy develop their pesonality - we laughed over their antics and relationships with each other. Long lies? What are they? 6am starts with 6 puppy faces to greet me each morning as I walked into the kitchen. Then there was socilaisation, new experiences in different rooms and in the garden, playtime, watching them sleep and feeling my heart melt as they yelped and yipped in their sleep. And thats not half of the tasks that you face on a daily basis - I havent even touched on how much kitchen roll, newspapers and cleaning agent I have gone through!
So to why I feel my heart is shattered - this weekend they leave for their new lives with their new carefully chosen owners. I am distraught. Irrational yes I know. But rational thinking goes out the window when you have a litter. Tonight I have sat in my puppy pen and cried rivers telling each individual that they have changed my life forever and I will always be here for them - I will never let them down.
So this goes out to anyone thinking of breeding - its not just about the time (and I mean ALL of your time) and the money (and I mean LOTS of money) that needs considered. Having a litter makes for a great deal of responsibility on your shoulders and, with that, comes anxiety over every cough, sneeze and "oh he seems a bit quiet today". What costs most is you will pay with your heart. Watching them go is devastating. You want to grab them away from these lovingly picked new owners (we turned away many people who wanted pups) and say "NO - he is mine".
I am not an overly sensitive person by nature - but these bundles of fur have touched me in a way I would never have dreamed about.
Thank you for listening. Now off to find more kitchen roll for my tears - this time its not for cleaning puppy poo!

Oh what a lovely lovely lovely post, well done on being so caring you did yourself proud mom.

xxxx

Hi Colliecrew

I know exactly how you feel.  I have just said goodbye to another of my little dudes tonight and in the next few days will be virtually puppyless.  When you get the emails and letters telling you how happy they are and how happy they have made their new owners it will make it easier.  I find at the later stage they love having one to one love.  Just think how happy you have made all the people and all the new friends you have made.

Karen

Thank You, that was lovely!

My babies are 6 weeks old tonight and already i am dreading them "leaving home".
I know i am keeping 1 but in a way it feels like my days are just going to be so empty :-(

Don't think that you are losing 5 puppies - you are making 5 new families of friends.

Margot

In letting them go you are continuing to do the best for them - they need more time than you have as they get older and they need their new lives where they can continue to mature into well adjusted adults.

Oh colliecrew, believe me, I do know how you are feeling.  My last baby left home last weekend, although we have kept one.  I couldn't sleep the night most of them went.  Suddenly everything was so quiet, newspaper consumption dropped, washing machine not constantly stuffed with vetbed.  No sitting down in the garden and getting climbed all over.  The nice thing that has now happened is that I have had emails, and phone calls from all the new owners with such lovely comments about what super puppies they are, how wellsocialised and good eaters.  This has made is so rewarding.  One new owner has made a little scrapbook for me, with photo's and a diary of the puppy's first few weeks in the new home.  We have had invites to go and see the puppies and I really feel we have made new friends.  This is the second time I've bred, and I still keep in touch with many of my first litter (now 4 years old). 
The other nice thing is that now I just have my new puppy to concentrate on, and also my two older dogs are getting my attention and time.  You will be heartbroken at first, but you will have such lovely memories and new friends I am sure.  I think the puppies leaving home is the biggest reason I would not breed again, but just think, you could never give them all the attention they will get with their new owners.  Well done on such a lovely litter
Lorna

It is nice to read posts like this. Think most of us know the feeling so well.

Hi Colliecrew - what a very true tale and I can VERY genuinely empathise. Our first litter was born around this time last year and I cried buckets with each one that left even though I was truly happy with the homes and one was staying with us forever :(  I didn't let two go on the same day - don't know if that was better or not - but I couldn't have handled it - took me 24 hours to stop my eyes being swollen and get my voice to sound semi-normal again :rolleyes: (only for me to start all over when the next one was waved off).
The great thing is that you'll soon get lots of updates and stories related back to you on how well each one is thriving on much deserved individual attention :)   Be as encouraging as you can for their new families to keep you posted and all being well everyone will keep in touch and you'll have a whole new extended family.
Try and be brave - I know it's really hard - but you'll get through it simply because you know inside that it's best for the little ones in the long run.  Will be thinking of you (probably snivelling at the memories myself ) Good luck, Teri x

Yes, it's a profound anticlimax, after all the intensive 24/7 hard work of rearing a litter. We were looking at our video of our Maggie's litter the other day, which ends with Maggie and Luke, her son who we kept, sniffing round their garden in the snow, and I think it comes across very clearly in that - all the excitement is over...:-(....but then comes the joy of watching your own puppy mature well, develop anyway...lol...and the updates from the happy new owners - and life settles down a bit - but will never be the same. :-) Well done on your litter and finding such good homes for them all.

Hi everyone again,
Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement. One hour until my first beautiful boy leaves for the big world and his new life. Everything is set out....a piece of vet bed for comfort at nights, copies of eye tests, pedigree's, registrations, toys, poo bags and puppy pet food pack. My little pamphlet that I have typed with details of worming, exercise, diet etc finishes with a plea to please please please keep me informed and send me pictures regularly.
I know I cannot keep them all - they need more than I can give now. But eesh how it hurts and the silly thoughts that go through your head! I got up this morning and hopped into the puppy pen to clean the paper - 6 devils rushed to the hem of my dressing gown and proceeded to try and drag me round the pen making paper picking seem like an impossible task. I shall miss that. On the bright side - my washing machine shall get that holiday he has been screaming for. Unfortunately my tumble drier didnt last the pace and died in a puff of fluff from the vet bedding lol
If anyone EVER says to me - breeders make a packet of money for doing little work - I swear, I shall not be responsible for my actions! Time is one thing - but a little piece of my heart walks out that door with each perfect bundle of fur.
Thank you everyone once again for your rational thoughts at such an irrational time in my breeding experiences.
xxxxx

CollieCrew,
I know exactly how you feel
Yesterday i said "Goodbye" to 2 of my babes (my first litter too).
The 3 that are left are all a bit quiet today..soon there will only be one left, but even then not for long. I'm only keeping her for a week longer than expected as the new parents asked me to because they had already booked their holiday.
All too soon, the house will feel empty. The dining room will no longer be the "puppy room", the lovely puppy smell will be gone, and things will be back to normal, but they all have a special place in my heart so will never be far away.
Thinking of you, and all other going through the same in the near future

OOOHHH  you've brought it all back for me too now (how do you do a smiling crying smiley?) how I miss the puppy smell, the beautiful sleepy faces as they crash out, the poo (how can you miss poo I ask :rolleyes:) the playing, the nonsense :D the list is endless and yes we kept one too :D It was the reason for having a litter :)  and it is lovely when you get photo's, phone calls amd e-mails.

I know how you feel as well, two of mine have just gone with their new owners this morning, so feeling a bit weepy as well, another goes tomorrow and another during the week. 8 weeks have just flown by, luckily one is being kept in the family and one is going to be in the local area so will see them/.

Hi
Mine are only a week old and already I'm dreading the day they have to go - even though I am keeping 1.
Take Care
Helen

Thanks collie crew for that, you have just brought me right back down, I have been so excited today because I'm on day 60 and her temp has dropped and I think she is going to have them tonight, it's my first litter and I'm very nervous as well as excited, reading your post has just brought a tears to my eyes, unfortunately I am a emotional person and get attached very quickly, god knows what state I'll be in when I have to let the puppies go! Seriously though it's nice to know that I wont be alone when the day comes.

I had the same experiences last year and I am so happy that I had the experience. I get lots of calls/photos/ emails about my pups and have made some wonderful friends of their new owners. It has really enriched my life and when I see them out I feel like they are still my babies :) I think it will be very hard for me to have another litter as it takes so much out of you, the worry stress and finding of good homes. I was very fortunate that every home they have been placed in is very special and the pups have turned out fantastic. I'll never forget my first litter :)

You know, if everybody was like you there would be no badly bred pups and no pups placed in unsuitable homes -so a BIG pat on the back to you! The fact that you do feel so bad speaks volumes!! :) :)

My first litter is 3 years old now, and the two I kept (no, would  not keep two again!) still go all silly and happy if I call "puppies" -they've never forgotten. It's the best present ever when I get emails, letters and photos from the new owners. I've now got 18 day old pups and it's all starting all over again.

Marianne

well said Goldmali.The world needs more breeders like you colliecrew!!! All I want to add is that there are 5 very very lucky people just about to benefit from your love and thoughtfullness.....well done.
Archer

Hello Again!
Well - two of my beautiful babies have left the roost. And yes, it was terrible. I cried and cried and begged my husband to follow them in the car and bring them back home lol. Talk about irrational thinking! I have felt bereaved (that's the best word I can find to describe it) all day. I wearily came upstairs to check email and there was an email from one of the new owners! I hurriedly read through - was he pining for me? not eating? wailing to come home? NO! In fact he has eaten 2 good meals and is running her ragged playing and generally being a happy puppy!How fantastic is that!?! Yes, I long to hold them again...but yes, I feel glad that I have reared healthy happy puppies who will bring years of enjoyment and companionship to the new owners. I remain feeling sad...I think that will subside in time...I think its natural when you have loved and cherished something so precious...but now I see a ray of sunshine in my gloom.
xxxxxx

Hi again Colliecrew, isn't is lovely when you hear how well they're doing.  It's now one week since my last little bundle left me, and I have spoken to his new owners, and just like you said, he is not missing me, and is settling in well.  One thing that struck me is that although the puppies are only around for 8 weeks, its really been 3 years of planning, health checks, studying pedigrees and meeting stud dogs, counting the days till the seasons, getting the right mating time, is she or isn't she pregnant?  I haven't watched my camcorder tape yet as I know I'll get sad.  But each day gets easier and I know they're all settling in well in their new homes.  A little bit of my heart is still with them all, and always will be!
Lorna