Thought this would bring a smile on a bleak morning . A poem written for breast cancer awareness week on mammograms .  Not that I have had the pleasure yet but i have heard the stories

Get your mammies grammed Make sure you read the whole thing... This is a cute way to send "the message"! There is a serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there.
Now go out and have your mammies grammed!

THE POEM!!
For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.  And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully,   And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,   Said I should get a Mammogram "O.K," I said, "let's do it."Stand up here real close" she said, (She got my boob in line),"And tell me when it hurts," she said, "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine." She stepped upon a pedal, I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate came slamming down, My hooter's in a vice! My skin was stretched and mangled, From underneath my chin. My poor boob was being squashed,To Swedish Pancake thin. Excruciating pain I felt, Within it's vicelike grip. A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenceless tit!  "Take a deep breath" she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding?!? My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting. "There, that's good," I heard her say, (The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one." Have mercy, I was praying. It squeezed me from both up and down,It squeezed me from both sides. I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,   To HER tender little hide. Next time that they make me do this, I will request a blindfold. I have no wish to see again,   My knockers getting steam rolled. If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. If there had been a cyst in there, It would have gone "ker-pow!"  This machine was created by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I'd like to stick his balls in there, And see how THEY come out!

Mail this to other females. OK gals, now that you have had your
laugh, remember... Breast Cancer Awareness... Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts,cousins, friends and even your enemies-because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer

Lol made me laugh.
I have been in that situation twice, out come ok, Mind you if you are small busted like me it hurts more.
Bloody men and there toys lol

Have pm'd you.
Jane

Had my first one this year - not the most pleasant of experiences, I'll grant you, but a total necessity - s'gotta be done folks!

Yeah vicky, well said. No it isnt nice at all.
I had my first one a few years ago, day after boxing day, but the stupid post had put my appointment letter into the wrong house, they had open it and posted it into my house.
I bet i was talk of the street lol.

Jane