How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to domore sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake w**** at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your w**** and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

F**t and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.#

Admire w**** size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake w**** at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

How did you guess :D :D :D

Daisy

Why do you think we only have a bath, and not a shower?! :D :D

Must admit that hubby bathes more than he showers - but it still applies even tho' he's nearly 60 :D

Daisy

Those hairs on the soap drive me crazy I refuse to use the soap if there's a wad of black and curlies on it ;) !!

How come a couple of letters in the word fart  were blocked out? I know it's not a nice word,but arent we allowed to say it on here? What about willy,surely thats not a bad word ??

Some people could take offence Frodo, and children read the board as well.  Simply etiquette :)

Someone must have been spying on me - and why do women need a different shampoo for every day of the week?

lol lmao! all true apart from the w**** bit! my oh gets quite embaressed! men are scruffs tho it rearly gets up my nose the way they leave there clothes and wet towel were ever they want and leave a big wet puddle in the bathroom that i always nerly slip on! :d men but we love them all the same! :)

That is so funny, I have a tummy ache now from laughing so much :-D I can't beleive how much of the bloke bit is true, why do they "woo woo" at us? It completely baffles me. Thank you for that, it had really cheered me up. :-D

someone has installed a camera in my bathroom !!!

LMFAO........ am i allowed to say that!!!!!!

Rob always waves his at me nice to know Im not alone!!!!! :D

iam roflmao that is right you should do stand up i would pay to come and see you ( are you sure youve not got a secret camera in my bathroom)

You must know my OH! You might find using showergel rather than soap eliminates the hairy bar, but I still find the odd short and curly in the sponge! Eew :D