Thanks Tigerlilly Ill bear that in mind. I dont think that he will go to relate as a) he still dosnt believe that we have problems (GRR) b) it is £40 per session and he would think that was a rip off, cos they only 'reflect' what you just said.

Perhaps he needs a shock to make him listen and do something about it.

Something like, if he won't go with you to relate and sort things out then the marriage is over and he can move out !

I am sure it will make him take things a bit more seriously ! ;)

Lucy
xx

I think Relate, or similar councelling, would be a very good idea but don't forget it not just about telling him what you need you also have to listen ;)

Lucy I think that he would fall about laughing as he knows I couldnt run this place by myself (financially). I have thought about putting an ad in the paper to sell his pride and joy to finance it for a couple of years though ;)

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items  in front of him. When the class began,
wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then
asked the students if the jar was full.
They  agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.  He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles
rolled into the open areas  between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the  jar was full. They
agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the  jar.  Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once  more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the  empty space  between the sand. The students laughed.

Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The  golf
balls are the important things - God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else  was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.  The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.  If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, there is  no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.  If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be  time to clean the house and do the DIY. Take care of the  golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

Dunno who wrote that but it wasn't me :)  Kind of puts things into perspective a bit.

That's great. :)

Absolutely :)

Nice one Lara - that is going up on the office wall. Only problem I can see is that sometimes in life it is difficult to see the difference between a golf ball and a pebble. Also golf balls are often quite capable of surviving with out you and rarely 'demand' attention - pebbles  and sand often do and you can get stuck in them!

Hello everyone,

I met my hubbie through a chat room, we spoke for about a year on and off, then one day we joked about meeting. He lived 'up North!' in Bolton, and I lived 'down South' in Bedford. He came down to meet me, on the 28th August 2000, it was the bank holiday weekend, we went out at night, and he booked a hotel room (for him!!!) then we spent the next day together, quite close together if you get my drift ;) !

When he got home, we would talk every single minute we could, always until at least 4 o'clock in the morning! He came down to see me every weekend for 6 weeks, then we moved into a flat in Bedford, 6 weeks later we were engaged, and 6 weeks after that, we ran off to Gretna in Scotland and got married! We had our son in March 2002, and never regretted a single day! We have only been married for 4 and a 1/2 years so far but can't see it ever changing! Sometimes it feels more like 40 and a 1/2 years, and other times like 4 and 1/2 days, but we are still very much in love, and would never have it any other way. We have a 13 year age gap, when we first met I was 17 (hence why we went to Scotland!) and he was 30, and we used to argue a lot, but now we just kind of rub along nicely! If we ever do have a cross word, normally one of us just says "oh shut up and give me a hug" and it is over before it gets going!

We now have now moved back up North, near Blackburn, and enjoy a relativly quiet life, to how it was at the start!

Natalie