I stumbled across this website using 'Dog Listener' as a search prompt and have really enjoyed reading everyone's comments on that and other topics. Now I am asking for your expert advice myself.  It's not a serious problem - more of a maunder on my part really so don't feel guilty if you can't be bothered to get to the end. Anyway...
I have had seven dogs in my adult life; one from a breeder, the rest from rescue centres.  All were different in type and temperament but all had that magical quality that meant I knew they were The One - and they all were.  After a three year dogless period due to work and family commitments we were ready to go again last spring.  Three trips to the Dogs' Home later we find a beautiful young GSD.  This was his third rehoming so the poor lad had a few problems but eight months later we're ready to get a companion. Enter adult Daughter: she is ready for a dog and is so impressed by our boy that she wants me to give her advice when choosing. So off we go...and she totally ignores my advice and chooses a dog I just don't take to.  Cut to the chase - six months later and we have ended up with the dog (or rather the  bitch).

Now she is a perfectly good little dog (a Staffy/whippet X would be my guess) with plenty of spirit and character...but the chemistry's just not there; she's not The One. And worse, because we currently have a two dog maximum, she's taking the place of a potential The One. (I should mention that our boy and she get on like a house on fire except when on leads when all hell breaks loose.) 

So, can forced marriages ever work?  Will I stop resenting and learn to love? Will she ever be THE ONE??

 

'Now she is a perfectly good little dog (a Staffy/whippet X would be my guess) with plenty of spirit and character..'

I wouldn't get rid of her, I would just try and give her a good happy life anyway even if you don't think you match. I would suggest trying out some agility training with her... it's great fun for the dog, and great for building up a bond with each other... and being a staffy/whippet x, she'd probably do quite well.

I agree with ana. Give her the best you can and you will always remember what you did for her. As she gets on so well with your GSD, why upset them both by splitting them up. Furthermore, I do believe that you can learn to love her. It may be a stronger love! She may end of being the biggest of The Ones. Best of luck.

The dog (or bitch) must bond with you. Find time every day for just you and your dog. Obedience classes would perhaps be a good start. Stop comparing this dog to your past dogs even though this might be hard.Look for the good things in your dog and share a laugh about the funny things your dog does, give it time. Love Sonja

I know what you are experiencing - I had the same problem when my Ex left me with 'his' dog - she was a lovely dog, almost too perfect in fact......  But I never had that 'bond' with her, but through that I learnt to enjoy what she was, rather than mourn for what she wasn't....

HTH

my grandparents had a dog....i little yorkshire terrier....i'm not a little dog lover and sweet as she was we never bonded i guess i never tried they had had her for 11 years when she got sick and i had the job of taking her to the vets..sadly the vet decided that it would be best to put her to sleep. i stayed with her until she was gone and it broke my heart cos in the few mins before she died i felt really close to her and saw what my grandparents saw in her i just wish i'd given a chance when she was well. i guess whyat i'm saying is every dog is special you just have to think of this dog as the other dog...not as the dog who's taking the place of what could have been a better, nicer dog....if you keep thinking like this you will never feel anything towards this dog and she will know.

hope that made sense!!!!!!!!!

When my parnter moved in with his staffie, I had that same feeling but he got on well with my dog and that was more important to me than anything. It took me time to bond with him but he is my lap dog now and prefers me to my OH. I would say that he's not the one for me and I would never have chosen him, but he's here and has a good life so try to do what you can with your dog.

A few years ago I just couldn't wait to bring home my long-awaited puppy. But when I went to fetch him I didn't take to him at all. I somehow had a premonition that he wasn't the one for me and trouble lay ahead. But I ignored my feelings and brought him home.  He turned out to be a very difficult dog behaviour-wise but when he died at age 6 I was heartbroken.

It's easy to love a dog you bond with - much more of a challenge if you can grow to love one who isn't 'quite it'.

So I'd say try and focus on the positive rather than the negative  - and you never know, you might eventually be pleasantly surprised :)

It sounds like deep down you are still thinking that this was not the dog you would have chosen and almost bearing a grudge against the dog for having been chosen by your daughter. You must learn to accept the fact that, as valuable as your advice may be, you daughter is an adult and made the decision to take on this dog. It is not the dog's fault. I realize that you are probably not conscioucly thinking this way, just suggesting that this may be dwelling in the back of your mind, and therefore stopping you from opening your heart to this animal.

I agree with the previous posts in saying that if you are not giving this dog 100%, she will feel it. This is not fair on the dog, either. The poor mite has already gone through a lot, and as she is not troublesome in any way, I feel that you should try and spend more quality time with her- doing activities that you both enjoy- and perhaps as you "let go" mentally, the dog will relax and seek to develop a much deeper bond with you. :)

And don't feel bad for not bonding with her straight away: I bought my puppy from a breeder, and I was very upset to realize that she wasn't The One. I felt that as I had paid a lot of money for her, we should have this special bond from day one, but I only found her more troublesome than expected and kept thinking that I had made a mistake. However, needless to say, time has worked its magic, and having let go of the preconception that the puppy should have been easy, relaxed, confident, obedient, I have also learned to love her stubborn character and her sometimes irrational fears.  Now, 18 months later, she is like a child to me and I should thank God for bringing someone so special into my life.

Please give her a chance to show you her true potential. :)

Edit: saranzorro, you said it so beautifully and it made perfect sense to me!

thanks....i did try but when i read it back to myself it sounded nonsense.

My collie used to be my sisters, so I had virtually nothing to do with her until she was 11 months old.... and I absolutely hated her! She irritated me to death, she didn't want to learn, was so sensitive, I didnt love her at all, more like hated her! The amount of times I thought about giving her away, and the amount of times people told me to give her away, as we just weren't getting on, were so many! But I'm a stubborn cow :D so persaveered and she is 3 years next month, and it has only been in the last couple of months we have really bonded, I love her to pieces now, she's dead cute, loads of character, and her agility is really coming on. It helped when I finally stopped comparing her to my other collie, who's a dog in a million, and was much more patient, gradually she came out of herself and we have great fun together. I wouldn't swap her for the world now - never thought I'd say that!!!

Stupid question... the forum index says there are new posts, yet they don't appear when I open the topic...or is the CD clock (on forum index) all wrong?

i think it 'new posts' indicates the number or replies recieved to the origional post not the number of replies recieved since you last looked.....if you know what i mean. it took me a while to figure that one out too.