Hi

I'm going through a bit of a hard time at the moment and am hoping you can help. My beautiful boxer was killed in a road traffic accident in January - he was only 8 months old. A typical boxer he was lively and bouncy and just completely adorable. When he died i said he would never be replaced and that i couldn't have another boxer -ever. Hmm am seriously regretting that decision.
My father in law bought me lovely little cavalier King charles Spaniel who  i love dearly - but - i just don't feel the same for him as i did for Duke. Dont get me wrong i love my cavvie to pieces but i miss the character of a boxer around the place. I know that my spaniel would adore another dog to play with and as i am home full time giving time to them both wouldn't be a problem.
I just dont know what to do - I miss havin a boxer around but dont want to feel as if i'm replacing Duke. Has anyone else been in a similar position?

Helen

Yes and it will pass.  My first dog (not the breed I own now) died tragically young and unexpectedly and I had my new pup within a week, as luck would have it one wa available.

I felt much as I think you did, loved her but somehow she wasn't the head I was used to seeing when I looked down, and it felt odd for ages.  I didn't feel really strongly or her for about 6 moths, and it took probably a year before I decided that my previous dog would be the last of her breed in my house, as the new breed were a much beter fit for me and my family.

I would give your new dog at least 2 years, and tehn decide whether her new companion should be a Boxer or antother breed or maybe another Cavalier.

Hi Animad...sorry for your loss.  I was fostering Arnold, had just adopted him, when he died about 4 months after I'd had him.  I had recently brought in another deaf Boxer to foster and after Arnold died it was a very hard decision to make, whether I should adopt the new deafie or not.  Gladly, I did.  He didn't replace Arnold but has his own quirks.  I think that it's easier not to compare the 2 because they are the same breed and have many similarities...it's easier to say oh that's just Gibson...does that make sense?  I don't miss the Boxer because I have one, I miss Arnold strictly for Arnold.  :)

I don't know that there's any age that's best to bring a new dog into the house.  I waited until Rock was almost 1 before I adopted Shelby (she was 1).  After that I was fostering left and right.  It depends on your attitude, IMO.  Each of my dogs gets their own time doing what that specific dog likes to do best.  They also get group time.  If you're ready for another dog, go for it and good luck.

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago about Shoana losing Milo, 2 year old Aussie suddenly.

Shoana said after 4 days that the house was empty without Milo, despite having her mum's border collie and cats and her son.   They have been lucky enough to find a litter of Aussies that will be ready by the end of the month, so then Toddy will join them.   Shoana says that he will never take Milo's place, as there could only ever be one Milo, but he can fill Milo's space.   So yes, I would say, go for it!

Margot

Just like my new Pup, will never take the place of Bradley. The pup will take his own place in my heart.

Thanks everyone - I dont usually get down but this has really got on top of me. I have felt such a mix of emotions - mainly guilt.

I still dont know what i am going to do but am not going to rush things. I have been through quite a lot already this year so am going to let things settle down before i consider adding to the family - plus i'm not sure what my husband would think to another boxer as he had to do quite a bit of plastering after duke got a taste for my kitchen wall ;)

Helen

You can never replace a dog because they are all different like humans are! If you want a new pup or dog go for it, the feelings will pass in time and you will never forget Duke.

I was actually talking about this the other day, on another forum which has nothing to do with dogs, someone had lost their dog and a non doggy friend told them they couldnt have loved their dog because they wanted to get another so quickly (within a few weeks) Ive never heard such rubbish myself. Leo hasn't taken the place of Bonnie and he never will, he is a completely different dog, i still think and talk about bonnie and i still have pictures of her up its just now i have pictures of Leo up too

yep and still do she was a gold cocker everyone felt the same , we looked at other breeds when she died but theres always somthing that brings you back to a breed if you love it , so we decided to get a totaly different colour :D and shes such a lovely dog totaly different personality too. but still when looking for another I wont get a gold . It will probably be the same when my current dog dies . fortunatly theres plenty of colours :D The funny thing is that feeling is there for some dogs but not others .

We did the same, we stuck with the same breed as i couldn't imagine having any other, but we chose a different sex and darker colour and as someone said each dog has such a unique personality that you don't feel like you are replacing your dog.

When our springer died I said no more it was just to upsetting, I am now the proud owner of 4 springers and loving every minute of it.
Sandie.

hi there, its perfectly normal to feel the way u do.  I would try and bond with the dog more b4 u consider getting another dog.  the popular advise is to wait 18 months b4 u introduce a new member of the family so that u have a good bond with the dog u have now.  I think after a few months you will feel happy with this new dog and hopefully move on from ur lost dog :(

Helen,

You will find that the Cav will be it's own character too albeit in a smaller package than the Boxer.    My sister has a CKCS bitch and she is a right little terror at times, she thinks she's a mini Munster now but equally can be a sweet loving little dog.

Christine

You will know when you are ready, and sometimes fate plays a part. When we lost our old dog, he went very quickly within 36 hrs, the place was so quiet, we left it for a few weeks then decided to go and get another dog.
So we went to see some breeders some  puppies when we got there had already been reserved, and some just didnt feel right...anyway as a fluke we found our present dogs breeder through a friend,and when we saw him we knew he was the one.
We also found that he was born on the day our old dog, fell ill, and the day before our old boy finally passed away....
so fate does play a hand, and when you least expect it....you will find  the right dog, for you, when the time is right.
Good luck....

HI

Just thought i'd add a little update.

I have just had a weekend away with my husband and things seem very much more in perspective. I missed Bosley loads and it made me realise he is a real little character in his own way.
I am not even considering getting any more additions now. I am happy with my little furball :)

Thanks very much for your kind words and support. Living with a non doggy husband means i can't really talk to him about how i feel - i know he just doesnt 'get it'.

Thanks Again

It took me a while to realise how much I czared for my second dog as I felt differently about ther than my first, but then we love each of tehm differently as we do with people ;D  there is always room for another to love and I am glad that you realise how special Bos is to you :D